Single forever?

[exitstageright]

How on earth do you get a single date in a week .... further more TWO dates in a day? And who has time for two dates in one day?

That has happened to me once. I was to meet someone for lunch,on a Monday,at a restaurant,in Palo Alto,California,at 11:00 AM.When I arrived at the restaurant,at 10:30 AM,I noticed that a man was waiting there,with some flowers.I told him,"Those are some nice looking flowers." I noticed that there was a sign that read,"For C".I told him that I was supposed to meet a lady named,"C" for lunch there. He asked me to described her.Sure,enough,it was the same lady!
This same lady,at 10:45 am,calls me and informs me that she was going to be late.I did not tell her anything,because I just wanted to see the surprised look on her face,when she arrives at the restaurant.
Sure enough,when she arrived,she had this very surprised look on her face and apologized to the both of us.
Well,she had lunch with me first,after she set up a date with the other man for 1:30 PM,on that same day.
This scene seemed like a comedy skit.

 

[blackribbon]

Because if one is in Christ then he is no longer a child of Adam, except in regard to the flesh, but as we live in obedience and love of the Lord, our faith grows and we are sanctified, and as a result experience Christ's life in increasing measure and our old man's life in decreasing measure.

but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14, 1984 NIV)

But when Adam walked with God in Eden, he was still sinless. And since God is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...that means Adam was with Christ in a completely sinless state (which must be better than even a forgiven state) when he was given Eve. Christ came because of sin...but the ideal would have been for Adam and Eve to have remained sinless and in the Garden.

 

[Greg J.]

But when Adam walked with God in Eden, he was still sinless. And since God is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit...that means Adam was with Christ in a completely sinless state (which must be better than even a forgiven state) when he was given Eve. Christ came because of sin...but the ideal would have been for Adam and Eve to have remained sinless and in the Garden.

I never said it was good to be single or alone. But, no, we are as far above Adam as Jesus is above Adam. Adam was a child of God, but we are joined with God and have Jesus' standing in God's eyes. We are much more than just forgiven.

I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. (Matthew 11:11, 1984 NIV)

In Adam's sinless state, he was higher than anyone up until someone entered the kingdom of God. (John the Baptist being second highest.)

 

[blackribbon]

I never said it was good to be single or alone. But, no, we are as far above Adam as Jesus is above Adam. Adam was a child of God, but we are joined with God and have Jesus' standing in God's eyes. We are much more than just forgiven.

I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. (Matthew 11:11, 1984 NIV)

In Adam's sinless state, he was higher than anyone up until someone entered the kingdom of God. (John the Baptist being second highest.)

I don't get your classification system. There are two types of humans...forgiven and not forgiven because they didn't ask....and that is all that really matters. Jesus IS God...He can't stand in God's eyes...He sees with God's eyes.

 

[Greg J.]

I don't get your classification system. There are two types of humans...forgiven and not forgiven because they didn't ask....and that is all that really matters. Jesus IS God...He can't stand in God's eyes...He sees with God's eyes.

Those aren't two types of humans; they are two ways God can view a person's moral standing with him. The two types of humans are those who have been born again in Christ and those who have not. Some people view this by saying that when God looks at us He sees Jesus. Actually he sees a being who is both Jesus and us. Kinda like when Jesus said he and the Father were one.

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? (John 14:8-9, 1984 NIV)

Pre-sin Adam was not in Christ and the Holy Spirit did not dwell in him (The Holy Spirit did not come to earth until Pentecost). Adam and God were connected in a different way.

The study of this subject is in studying what it means for a Christian to be born again in Christ.

 

[blackribbon]

Those aren't two types of humans; they are two ways God can view a person's moral standing with him. The two types of humans are those who have been born again in Christ and those who have not. Some people view this by saying that when God looks at us He sees Jesus. Actually he sees a being who is both Jesus and us. Kinda like when Jesus said he and the Father were one.

Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? (John 14:8-9, 1984 NIV)

Pre-sin Adam was not in Christ and the Holy Spirit did not dwell in him (The Holy Spirit did not come to earth until Pentecost). Adam and God were connected in a different way.

The study of this subject is in studying what it means for a Christian to be born again in Christ.

I don't see myself as "in Christ" but rather that Christ is in me. However, God loved me the same before I accepted Him as after I did. The difference is in me, not Him.

 

[Greg J.]

I don't see myself as "in Christ" but rather that Christ is in me. However, God loved me the same before I accepted Him as after I did. The difference is in me, not Him.

Understanding what being in Christ means is one of those things that one's understanding can grow in, but possibly never be completed in this life. It is a part of the core of what God has done for us to save us and is almost as vital to look into as it is that we're forgiven. It is referred to in many places in the NT. Understanding it is part of the key to making 1 John easier to understand, although the Holy Spirit used the exact phrase only through Paul and in 1 Peter.

 

[AntiVillain]

A valid argument against that legalistic, same-old-same-old logic of "Heaven = sexless":

The Bible says in Joel 2:25-32, “So, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust have eaten”.

Most people take that verse to mean God will restore EVERYTHING we missed in this life because “the locust have eaten” it. What about all the people who never got married? Or who got married but never had children? Or who got divorced? What about all those people who got married later in life and never got to experience young married life? will God “restore the years the locusts have eaten” for those people? How? If you take literally what Jesus says, “they will neither marry nor be given in marriage”, then how will he “restore the years”? That means there will be people who are forever on the outside looking in, who will forever miss a precious and meaningful life experience because God just took it away? How cruel is that?

And of course, people who missed their dating years will also be denied that experience… forever. If we “neither marry nor are given in marriage” then what is the point? There is no purpose to dating, and therefore no dating… no dances, no candle light dinners with that someone special, no walks along the beach, splashing through the waves. All of those things you see in the movies will be forever denied to people who missed those experiences because “the locusts have eaten” them.

So tell me what Joel 2:25 means if it doesn’t mean what it says? How is God going to restore everything to us if He is going to take a major part of our experience away from us in Heaven?

That’s why there must be more to Matthew 22:30 than meets the eye. At least some people are willing to explore that possibility.

 

[pdudgeon]

A valid argument against that legalistic, same-old-same-old logic of "Heaven = sexless":

no, it's not.
since when does it rain in Heaven?
Joel is talking about the Earth where all of this will be restored---not Heaven.

 

[AntiVillain]

no, it's not.
since when does it rain in Heaven?
Joel is talking about the Earth where all of this will be restored---not Heaven.

1. Who knows? Many people like rain. So is Heaven going to be an eternal desert or something? Therefore, way to make Heaven sound less appealing (and no, please don't reply with that strawman of "Well then, 'enjoy' the only alternative!").

2. Just because Joel's context is about Earth doesn't automatically make it inapplicable to the future -- especially given God's established desire to ultimately repay the redeemed for everything they've lost and more.

P.S.: Not my words in said argument, but someone else's -- whom I just happen to agree with.

 

[pdudgeon]

1. Who knows? Many people like rain. So is Heaven going to be an eternal desert or something? Therefore, way to make Heaven sound less appealing (and no, please don't reply with that strawman of "Well then, 'enjoy' the only alternative!").

2. Just because Joel's context is about Earth doesn't automatically make it inapplicable to the future -- especially given God's established desire to ultimately repay the redeemed for everything they've lost and more.

P.S.: Not my words in said argument, but someone else's -- whom I just happen to agree with.

obviously heaven is not going to be an eternal desert. there is ample water in heaven without the need for rain. rain has a two-fold purpose;
1. to water or irrigate the Earth.
2. to cleanse the Earth.

both of these conditions (irrigation and cleansing) are amply explained in the OT. But in heaven since everything is perfect and as God wishes it to be, there is no lack of irrigation and also a decided lack of sin which needs to be cleansed. Therefore rain is not necessary.

 

[pdudgeon]

(snip)......... Your value and self worth is not dependent on whether or not someone of the opposite sex loves you.

thanks for this ^^^.

 

[bèlla]

It's important to understand the nuances of the men you're attracted to and the qualities they find most appealing in a companion.

What is his standard?
What catches his eye and keeps his attention?
What does he emphasize in conversation and opinions about the opposite sex?

You need to speak his language and that can't happen without a willingness to observe and listen attentively. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Learn the difference between male and female vernaculars and quantify ambiguous terms (e.g., curvy).

And believe what you hear. Don't assume you'll change his mind or he'll compromise on your behalf. That's a dead end road for many. Be realistic and count the cost of the one you seek. He's not looking for change. He's looking for continuity. Don't look at the physically fit outdoorsy type unless you're willing to do the same.

Take a personal inventory.

Where are you falling short?
What have you neglected to do or continue?
How's your health and fitness?
Are you taking care of yourself physically? Getting enough rest?
How's your mindset? What are you consuming that's working against you?
What about the company you keep? Are they a help or hindrance?

When you're single for a long period of time its easy to fall into patterns of neglect and mental disconnection. You allow thoughts and behaviors to creep in that can derail you. Because no one's looking or holding you accountable. That permissiveness will have you waiting for a long time without understanding the cause of your aloneness.

Singleness cannot be an excuse for inaction. There's too many women on point. Looking good with a pleasant attitude. That will always get a man's attention if she's genuine.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That won't snag a prize. You'll attract men who believe you're desperate. You have to understand your worthiness and walk within that truth to draw someone who exhibits the same. It must be articulated within and without. Give him a reason to go deeper.

Why should he choose you? Answer the question and you'll get him.

~Bella

 

[Joined2krist]

Greg, if this were true and our aloneness falls away as our faith in God grows why would God have noticed it was not good for Adam to be alone? I mean in the garden Adam walked with God without our fallen nature, without existing in a sinful world with temptation and struggles all around, yet God still saw that Adam needed a helper, a partner. So God said," I will make him a helper comparable to him."(NKJV). I am saved and strive daily to grow closer to the Lord. I agree the joy, peace, and contentment God gives me makes not being married more bearable then if I did not have a relationship with Him. I honestly don't know how people deal with life without the Lord, but that doesn't mean the very nature of how God created us doesn't cry out for that partner, that helper, to walk with through life.

Greg, so you believe the closeness Adam had, prior to eating the apple and being cast out of the garden, was not as close as we are when we are "in Christ"? I am not trying to be contrary but truly trying to understand your point of view. Isn't the reason Christ died on the cross because, as the old testament proved, no matter how "perfectly" we try, we can and will never live perfectly for there is a constant battle with our flesh. That battle only started after the fall, even though Adam was human before, which would mean it isn't so much human nature that causes the battle but human nature not under submission to Christ. Human nature in rebellion. Yet, again as a human living before rebellion, before sin, Adam was under complete submission to the Lord and still God saw he needed a partner, a helpmate. Galatians tells us God already planned to free us from the law before he even gave us the law, so we know God already planned on Jesus dying for our sins before the ten commandments. Isn't it possible that God, when he saw that it was not good Adam was alone and created Eve, knew the two would end up living in a fallen world and that each would need the help, encouragement, and love of the other? I understand some, such as Paul, are OK not having a partner, but to say that being lonely for that partner, that God saw Adam would need in our fallen world, just means we need to grow closer to the Lord, I disagree. For me, the closer I grow to the Lord the more I realize how much I desire for a partner to walk with through life. You may be a Paul, Greg, and that is fine but I think it is misleading to say someone who is lonely for a mate is so due to not being intimate enough with the Lord. I also think sometimes we Christians tend to hide from the possible hurt and rejection of a relationship by "being fine" single. I think one of the fallouts of living in a fallen world is that relationship are hard and can hurt, so instead of being open to receiving one of the greatest gifts God's heart has for us, we close ourselves off convincing ourselves we are content being single.

God wasn't always with Adam in the Garden, He visited, but wasn't permanently there. The serpent also visited and led Adam and Eve to sin and God knew because they started to feel ashamed of their nakedness, Cain killed Abel and God noticed because Abel's blood was crying out. But the Holy Spirit lives in the heart of a believer; speaking to him, comforting, teaching, helping, sanctifying, guiding, it's a personal relationship, like a marriage. One can't be lonely with Him, doing what he is allowed to do in us. Shalom

 

[Tony B]

God wasn't always with Adam in the Garden, He visited, but wasn't permanently there. The serpent also visited and led Adam and Eve to sin and God knew because they started to feel ashamed of their nakedness, Cain killed Abel and God noticed because Abel's blood was crying out. But the Holy Spirit lives in the heart of a believer; speaking to him, comforting, teaching, helping, sanctifying, guiding, it's a personal relationship, like a marriage. One can't be lonely with Him, doing what he is allowed to do in us. Shalom

I wonder if you might be accidentally judging others incorrectly, mistakingly viewing them through the prism of your own giftedness, and therefore unintentionally judging contrary to our own Creator's judgement. Paul was careful not to do that, even though he and his zealous nature wished his readers were like him.

God couldn't be with Adam always, so he tried to meet his loneliness with animals as companions. That didn't work so He created Eve as a suitable companion, and it was good. The vast majority of we Adams and Eves need the companionship of each other....indeed if that wasn't the case then it would be highly probable that you and I wouldn't be having this discussion.

 

[Jamdoc]

God wasn't always with Adam in the Garden, He visited, but wasn't permanently there. The serpent also visited and led Adam and Eve to sin and God knew because they started to feel ashamed of their nakedness, Cain killed Abel and God noticed because Abel's blood was crying out. But the Holy Spirit lives in the heart of a believer; speaking to him, comforting, teaching, helping, sanctifying, guiding, it's a personal relationship, like a marriage. One can't be lonely with Him, doing what he is allowed to do in us. Shalom

There are saved people who are lonely every single day. There are different types of love, and different types of companionship, and different types of loneliness. You can be surrounded by friends, filled with the holy spirit, and still feel lonely being single, because not every type of relationship is fulfilled.
A married couple can still feel lonely not having any children, especially those who have tried and are having fertility problems.
Being lonely in a crowd is very much possible, even if you think it makes no sense because you're surrounded by people, how can you be lonely? You can.

 

[Joined2krist]

@Jamdoc, living a sacrificial life of love will help deal with your loneliness, there's a joyous feeling and peace we get when we are giving ourselves out to others in love. It might not fulfill sexual lust, but it does drive away loneliness regardless of our relationship status. God bless

 

[Joined2krist]

@Tony B, I'm not gifted, I wish I was though, I would have avoided the sins I engaged in before I truly discovered what it means to have the Holy Spirit living inside of me. He's simply awesome, there's nothing He can't do, even fulfill your need for a relationship by comforting and giving you joy and peace, God bless. I truly hope I'm not offending anyone by speaking about the Holy Spirit. I pray God brings you a special person as you desire.

 

[Tony B]

@Tony B, I'm not gifted, I wish I was though, I would have avoided the sins I engaged in before I truly discovered what it means to have the Holy Spirit living inside of me. He's simply awesome, there's nothing He can't do, even fulfill your need for a relationship by comforting and giving you joy and peace, God bless. I truly hope I'm not offending anyone by speaking about the Holy Spirit, I don't mean to.

You have every right to express your opinion. I can't see how anyone would be offended by your comments regarding the Holy Spirit. As Jesus said, The Holy Spirit is given us to counsel us, comfort us during times of doubt and stress, and lead us into all truth.

We may not always agree with each other's interpretation of what we believe the Holy Spirit will or won't do in someone's life, but we acknowledge and agree that everyone that has had their spirit brought to life through faith in Jesus, has been gifted with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

The giftedness I felt you may have, is that of singleness.

Thank you for offering your opinion.

 

[bèlla]

He's simply awesome, there's nothing He can't do, even fulfill your need for a relationship by comforting and giving you joy and peace, God bless.

[COLOR=#000000]J2K,

Did you feel the same when you were dating? Or did you reach this point afterward? If you met someone later on, would your perception shift?

Yours in His Service,[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#00b3b3]
~Bella[/COLOR]