Single And Not Happy?

[MustangJena02]

Ok I know the frist thing someone is going to say to this post "You are still young and still have a life ahead of you" I've heard this over and over and over again! But what if I (or other single's) feel I Lost the will to look for that special someone. It really gets depressing! What If I am content with just being single. There are alot of people (inculding my Aunt) who have not gotten married and are perfactly happy! Our world around us today thinks you gotta "be with someone" to be happy and not just to be lonely.
So When the Bible said "It is not good for man to be alone" dose it mean be with someone just to make yourself happy? And he used Gen.2:18 to back him up. I have heard stories about Christian Marrages falling apart because men (Christian Men) take verses like "wives submit yourselves to your husband"(eph 5:22)and turns it into a form of abuse. My cousins Husband (a youth pastor) Verbaly abuses her and wont let her do anything or go anywhere even with her own family. My last realtionship (I was engaged to a college-pastor) made me feel like He was with me just so he wasn't lonely. There was no love there and he ended up treating me wrongly. When I confronted him about how I felt he litteraly Yelled at me.
So why is it happiness to just be with someone. Where has the Love gone? Right now I am at my happist just to be single. I have a goal to get out on my own, Have me a dog and live for myself. Theres nothing wrong with that. Why do people have to say things like "God has someone for everyone" when in some cases that is not entirely true.

What do you think?

 

[TriptychR]

I think a lot of times people say stuff like "God has someone for you" or "You're still young, etc." because they don't really know what else to say. If marriage relied on something like passing a test or reaching a certain age, it'd be easier to discuss. But there are people who seem really deserving that end up being single and complete jerks who end up with people they don't seem to deserve, and why that is is something we can't simply explain or understand.

When people say that, remember that they have good intentions; they probably want you to be happy. It can just be pretty awkward when you see someone that's in pain--or think that they are--and there isn't really anything you can do about it. If you're happy being single right now, tell them that. They might not be thinking that's the case.

 

[Silver Speak]

So When the Bible said "It is not good for man to be alone" dose it mean be with someone just to make yourself happy?

I think it doesn't necessarily mean just romantic relationship but generally, people were created to interact with each other and not live in solitude. That is why most of the ten commandments were about how you should(n't) treat other people. Christ said the most important commandment is love God and other people with all your heart. Okay, I don't remember how it goes literally but you get the point.

So why is it happiness to just be with someone.

It seems to me that a lot of people who are very much concentrated on finding a significant other in their lives also have problems in their relationships otherwise. What I mean is, just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you're in need of a romantic relationship but just, simply, a relationship: someone you can share with, someone who'll listen, someone you trust, someone you're close to. When you have a 'safety web' of friends and family lacking a boy/girlfriend might not seem like the hugest deal and also, bouncing back when you end a relationship is easier when there's still someone there for you. You need other people, be it friends, relatives or a significant other.

Why do people have to say things like "God has someone for everyone" when in some cases that is not entirely true.

That's a good question. It seems like the worldy view goes: 'go out there and have all the sex you want without commitments' and the christian view is: 'you won't be complete until you get married'. It sucks, for a single, christian young lady such as yourself and, well, me. For heaven's sake, I could have been married for two years already and no guy in sight! I almost feel selfish for having my own goals and not including a prospective-husband in my plans but hey, you're right, not all of us will nor need to get married. I don't know if I even want to but don't tell that to my mom

My last realtionship (I was engaged to a college-pastor) made me feel like He was with me just so he wasn't lonely. There was no love there and he ended up treating me wrongly. When I confronted him about how I felt he litteraly Yelled at me.

Sounds like he didn't have it all together emotionally. Actually, it sounds like his motives were just what you think they were. I'm sorry you went through such a bad relationship but please, don't get cynical

As for the 'wives submit your husbands' and other verses alike; I think we should remember there are also verses that command the husband to love and respect their wives. It's a mutual thing and one can't just take one verse out of the Bible and forget the other about the same subject to specify.

 

[Silver Speak]

But there are people who seem really deserving that end up being single and complete jerks who end up with people they don't seem to deserve, and why that is is something we can't simply explain or understand.

Good point. Of course, marriage is only for all the holy people out there ...not.

 

[OnTheWay]

Ever hear the prhase "You're trying too hard?" Many things in life cannot be forced to happen, and marriage is one of them. Firstly, you're 22 years old. The average man in the US isn't gettng married until he's almost 30 years old and the average woman is 25-27 years old. So really, you're still years away.

Here's what you've got to do, focus on the task at hand. As Christ tells us, don't worry about tomorrow there are enough cares for this day. God takes care of everything from the plants to the birds, and He will take care of you as well. So focus on the things you should be doing at your age, going to school, working and so on. Standing around at 22 worried about getting married just doesn't make any sense. You're just not going to find a lot of men your age that are interested in getting married yet.
Getting involved with someone that is too old for you just for the sake of getting married now will probably lead to a lot of unnecessary problems later on down the road.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Yes Reassuring someone verbally is a RoadBlock to Communication.. we usally say it when we do not know what to say..

Life is Fab!

 

[JPPT1974]

I am happy and single
Some people aren't you know
It all depends
On how we feel
And the lives that we live
If you know what I mean.

 

[Silver Speak]

I'm a little confused; was this about being or not being happy being single? I'm not sure what the main point was.

 

[awashinlove]

I'm a little confused; was this about being or not being happy being single? I'm not sure what the main point was.

I think - and I'm probably wrong, it isn't even 7AM for me - it was about the fact that many singles are happy being single, but others seem to think it should be otherwise, and God also suggests this in his word. It was also brought up that not all married folks are happy and have it good.

I think happiness, or rather contentment, will only come from what God has planned for us individually. We each have strong desires that are God given, but we're all different parts of one body - I think we forget that and assume we all must have the same function. It's fine, wonderful, and a blessing being single - don't forget what my guy Paul has to say in his letters!

"Have me a dog," I love that.

 

[GQ Chris]

It's all in God's timing, not ours.

Remember that God hates complaining. Remember the Israelites? They could have been liberated a lot sooner but instead God made them wander for 40 years because they would not listen.

 

[MustangJena02]

My Point was that I am so Happy being single! And I don't see why others are doom and gloom just because they do not have a boy/girl friend. Like I said in today's world everyone thinks that the only way to happiness is to just be with someone. That is not true! I Just wanted to see who agreed with me.

Ever hear the prhase "You're trying too hard?" Many things in life cannot be forced to happen, and marriage is one of them. Firstly, you're 22 years old. The average man in the US isn't gettng married until he's almost 30 years old and the average woman is 25-27 years old. So really, you're still years away.

Here's what you've got to do, focus on the task at hand. As Christ tells us, don't worry about tomorrow there are enough cares for this day. God takes care of everything from the plants to the birds, and He will take care of you as well. So focus on the things you should be doing at your age, going to school, working and so on. Standing around at 22 worried about getting married just doesn't make any sense. You're just not going to find a lot of men your age that are interested in getting married yet.
Getting involved with someone that is too old for you just for the sake of getting married now will probably lead to a lot of unnecessary problems later on down the road.

I'm not worried about getting married If I had it my way I'd live a lone with my dog and me Car . Who said I was worried lol? I'm a loner and I am content with that . Right now the only people I'm happy to be with is my Family!

 

[LittlePinky82]

I think so too. They don't want you to be even more depressed. I have times when I'm super lonely too (I have been lately) but other times I'm perfectly fine and happy on my own. I think you should also tell them if you're not happy being single. Are there any single groups out there at your church or maybe you (original poster) and some other singles could make a group at your church?

I think a lot of times people say stuff like "God has someone for you" or "You're still young, etc." because they don't really know what else to say. If marriage relied on something like passing a test or reaching a certain age, it'd be easier to discuss. But there are people who seem really deserving that end up being single and complete jerks who end up with people they don't seem to deserve, and why that is is something we can't simply explain or understand.

When people say that, remember that they have good intentions; they probably want you to be happy. It can just be pretty awkward when you see someone that's in pain--or think that they are--and there isn't really anything you can do about it. If you're happy being single right now, tell them that. They might not be thinking that's the case.

 

[LittlePinky82]

Sometimes it's hard to remember that one when you're caught up with the world and what other people around you are having happened to them and you feel like you're behind on everything. Especially when you're twenty-three and haven't even had a boyfriend yet. And I do agree that if you focus on other things it will make life go by faster and someone could come a long out of nowhere even if they've always been there like a close friend or something. I know a couple who are in their early-mid thirties who recently got married about two years ago or so. So everyone has their different timings if it is meant to happen.

Ever hear the prhase "You're trying too hard?" Many things in life cannot be forced to happen, and marriage is one of them. Firstly, you're 22 years old. The average man in the US isn't gettng married until he's almost 30 years old and the average woman is 25-27 years old. So really, you're still years away.

Here's what you've got to do, focus on the task at hand. As Christ tells us, don't worry about tomorrow there are enough cares for this day. God takes care of everything from the plants to the birds, and He will take care of you as well. So focus on the things you should be doing at your age, going to school, working and so on. Standing around at 22 worried about getting married just doesn't make any sense. You're just not going to find a lot of men your age that are interested in getting married yet.
Getting involved with someone that is too old for you just for the sake of getting married now will probably lead to a lot of unnecessary problems later on down the road.

 

[mina]

I'm single and not happy about being single. I'm happy about other things though. And I find joy in the Lord. But if my entire happiness has to be about me being single, I would fail, because being single doesn't make me happy. I'm glad my entire world of happiness doesn't hinge on if I'm happy being single or not. That doesn't mean I'm all doom and gloom and I let that ruin my life. But I am going to answer honestly.

 

[GQ Chris]

I'm single and not happy about being single. I'm happy about other things though. And I find joy in the Lord. But if my entire happiness has to be about me being single, I would fail, because being single doesn't make me happy. I'm glad my entire world of happiness doesn't hinge on if I'm happy being single or not. That doesn't mean I'm all doom and gloom and I let that ruin my life. But I am going to answer honestly.

Then get yourself a man. Really, I have known a lot of women in my life and I came to the conclusion that almost any woman can get a man. This is not true for most guys though.

 

[JPPT1974]

It is God's timing
And not ours
Since we aren't the same
We really need to depend on Him
And take it to the Lord in prayer.

 

[kerosam]

[
Here's what you've got to do, focus on the task at hand. As Christ tells us, don't worry about tomorrow there are enough cares for this day. God takes care of everything from the plants to the birds, and He will take care of you as well. So focus on the things you should be doing at your age, going to school, working and so on. Standing around at 22 worried about getting married just doesn't make any sense. You're just not going to find a lot of men your age that are interested in getting married yet.
Getting involved with someone that is too old for you just for the sake of getting married now will probably lead to a lot of unnecessary problems later on down the road.[/QUOTE]

i'm not too sure about that. I was 26 when my former girlfriend and I broke off. encouraging friends were always telling me i am still young and my time will come. i'm 31 this year and for the last five years i have not found anyone that i coud be fond of or fond of me.

anyhow, i can only pray that the Lord will lead me to my future partner as He seems fit and during this waiting time, i pray that He'll teach me learn how to be the husband for my future wife...

 

[Silver Speak]

My Point was that I am so Happy being single!

Ahh, that's the way I interpreted it but everyone was basically saying: 'There, there, get over it', so, I started wondering

Are there any single groups out there at your church or maybe you (original poster) and some other singles could make a group at your church?

Does it always have to be a singles' group? Personally, I don't think I need that label on me just because I don't have a man I'd rather go for young adults. I have no idea why we constantly have to be divided in the married and the single folks.

being single doesn't make me happy.

Being single doesn't make me happy either but living a full life does; I see what you mean. I don't go 'YES!!! I'm single!' every day but I find joy in a lot of things in my life. There are times that I'm very happy about my independence, though, knowing I can make all the plans I want without compromises -providing it's in God's will.

Really, I have known a lot of women in my life and I came to the conclusion that almost any woman can get a man.

Are you kidding me? You just go to a supermarket and shop, right No, really, I think that is true, sort of, but out of 10 guys 9 are usually no good for you

 

[MustangJena02]

Out of 10 guys 9 are usually no good for you

That is so True!

 

[MustangJena02]

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches


Everyone has different callings, You are either called to be married or Not!