Should A Christian Man Marry A Divorced Woman?

[Sketcher]

I guess the solution to all of this legalism is to just murder one's spouse instead of divorcing him/her and then there would be no question as to whether or not it's okay to get married again since there is no longer a spouse to be in dispute over. After all, plenty of murderers took wives and God seemed to have no problem with that and even called some of them righteous and/or after his own heart.

Or you know, work out the problems.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:31-32

 

[solid_core]

Yes, that is what those scriptures/The Lord directs.

However, I believe He would also say, if He were here now, that every case has to be looked at on its own merits/facts.

If the man or lady was divorced because of their adultery or acutely abusive and any other immoral behaviour, and that occurred after they became a Christian/was born again, then he/she will have to remain single for the rest of their life or be reunited with their ex spouse assuming that option is available and passes godly scrutiny.

If however he/she committed the act(s) and then subsequently become a Christian/was born again, then he/she is forgiven and washed clean of those past transgressions, and is therefore eligible for Christian marriage. Having said that though, if there are any relationship complications or matters occurring from their past that would put and unhealthy burden on a new marriage and affect its godliness, then these would need to be resolved first.

If marriage is not a sin, but a life-long commitment, how can it be "forgiven" after they came to Christ? If its binding, then its binding. Its not a sin to be forgiven and forgotten.

 

[Tony B]

If marriage is not a sin, but a life-long commitment, how can it be "forgiven" after they came to Christ? If its binding, then its binding. Its not a sin to be forgiven and forgotten.

We are saying that it is wrong to marry a divorced person if they were divorced because of their immoral and still unrepented behaviour, and there would be other factors to consider too.

I assume you are now married to Christ, whereas you were previously married to satan...but you automatically divorced satan when you accepted the gift of faith from God to believe in Jesus...which resulted in a new beginning for you!

 

[solid_core]

We are saying that it is wrong to marry a divorced person if they were divorced because of their immoral and unrepented behaviour.

You are saying it based on what?

 

[Tony B]

You are saying it based on what?

Read the OP's first post.... pretty straight forward really. Take particular note of the punctuation and how that separates the scriptures. But to be blunt, I'm saying it because it is what The Holy Spirit has taught me.... I don't rely on my own understanding or anyone else's, as dismissive as that may sound of other people's opinions.

 

[solid_core]

Read the OP's first post.... pretty straight forward really. Take particular note of the punctuation and how that separates the scriptures. But to be blunt, I'm saying it because it is what The Holy Spirit has taught me.... I don't rely on my own understanding or anyone else's, as dismissive as that may sound of other people's opinions.

You are right that Jesus words are pretty simple, but almost nobody seems to understand them and most people read something thats not there.

 

[JacksBratt]

And what about remarriage?

When I met her.. she was not a Christian. She had divorced.. So.. When she got saved.. Is her past sins forgiven? Or not?

Things she did as a non believer are washed away.. Right?

Or.. would you tell people who have been said that "Yes, your sins are forgiven... but.. you still can't marry"?

Cause.. that's what the church told us... That's a real goo hypocritical stand.

My wife... a new Christian.. is like "what the heck, you told me that all my sins are forgiven... what's the deal".. "all my sins are forgiven... but I have to carry this mistake all my life"??????????

Mind you, the pastor.. who was very red faced when he was all excited about her accepting of Christ and coming marriage..asked "has either one of you been married before"? He was very embarrassed that the church council still had the concept of not marrying divorced people.. Even though he was trying to get that changed.

So, we go married in our back yard.. Hard to believe that was in 1992... More like 1882.

 

[JacksBratt]

IMO

I know many many strong Christians who have been married and divorce.. not just before they were saved but full well very solid Christian husband and wives.... married in a church.. only to be divorced later...

These people are still strong Christians. Some remarried.. some did not..

I will still see them in paradise.

 

[Tony B]

You are right that Jesus words are pretty simple, but almost nobody seems to understand them and most people read something thats not there.

We all can get it wrong, which is why the advice is given..."let the spirit of the prophet be subject to the prophets", meaning..... let what someone professes to be the will of God in a matter be scrutinised by those in our midst that have the gift of prophetic insight....they are those that stand on the watchtower so as to speak and sound the warnings when the church is under attack by false doctrine and suchlike.

Another scripture I personally lock onto and practice as best I can, is that "there is wisdom in the counsel of many".

It's great to receive your opinion, and great that there is a forum such as this one where that can be done.

 

[solid_core]

When I met her.. she was not a Christian. She had divorced.. So.. When she got saved.. Is her past sins forgiven? Or not?

But her first marriage is not a sin, so how can it be forgiven/deleted?

Even if her divorce si forgiven, as you propose, then she is like she was never divorced, logically.

 

[solid_core]

We all can get it wrong, which is why the advice is given..."let the spirit of the prophet be subject to the prophets", meaning..... let what someone professes to be the will of God in a matter be scrutinised by those in our midst that have the gift of prophetic insight....they are those that stand on the watchtower so as to speak and sound the warnings when the church is under attack by false doctrine and suchlike.

Another scripture I personally lock onto and practice as best I can, is that "there is wisdom in the counsel of many".

It's great to receive your opinion, and great that there is a forum such as this one where that can be done.

The problem with Scriptures, many times, is that words are simple, but meaning is ambiguous. And then more problems arise when they are in synoptic gospels recorded differently.

 

[Tony B]

The problem with Scriptures, many times, is that words are simple, but meaning is ambiguous. And then more problems arise when they are in synoptic gospels recorded differently.

Yes... which is why we are warned that spiritual truths can only be spiritually decerned. In other words, we must be born again, and have The Holy Spirit teaching us from within, to fully understand God's ways.

 

[zoidar]

When I met her.. she was not a Christian. She had divorced.. So.. When she got saved.. Is her past sins forgiven? Or not?

Things she did as a non believer are washed away.. Right?

Or.. would you tell people who have been said that "Yes, your sins are forgiven... but.. you still can't marry"?

Cause.. that's what the church told us... That's a real goo hypocritical stand.

My wife... a new Christian.. is like "what the heck, you told me that all my sins are forgiven... what's the deal".. "all my sins are forgiven... but I have to carry this mistake all my life"??????????

Mind you, the pastor.. who was very red faced when he was all excited about her accepting of Christ and coming marriage..asked "has either one of you been married before"? He was very embarrassed that the church council still had the concept of not marrying divorced people.. Even though he was trying to get that changed.

So, we go married in our back yard.. Hard to believe that was in 1992... More like 1882.

Her old marriage belongs to the past, like you said she wasn't even a believer. I see no reason to make a big issue out of this. I think it's great you found a girl to marry that came to faith through your family. Congrats!

 

[Tony B]

But her first marriage is not a sin, so how can it be forgiven/deleted?

Even if her divorce si forgiven, as you propose, then she is like she was never divorced, logically.

Just offering an example.... if my previous marriage between myself and my then spouse was our first, then the marriage was not the sin, but my subsequent immoral behaviour that led to the ruination of that marriage was.

If we Christians ruin a marriage we don't get a chance at another except to be reunited with our original spouse, assuming they are not married. Paul warned that if two Christians separate, and there are no grounds for divorce, they are both to remain single for the rest of their lives, or be reunited.

 

[solid_core]

Paul warned that if two Christians separate, and there are no grounds for divorce, they are both to remain single for the rest of their lives, or be reunited.

If I remember correctly, he said that people are free to go (when there are grounds for a divorce), but if they remarry, they are adulterers, because a woman is bound to her husband till he lives.

 

[Tony B]

If I remember correctly, he said that people are free to go (when there are grounds for a divorce), but if they remarry, they are adulterers, because a woman is bound to her husband till he lives.

I think you may be mixing two different references to marriage.

Paul spoke of 'having been set free, God has called you to peace', in respect of a believing spouse when their unbelieving spouse chooses to leave them. Adultery happens when a married person has sex with someone other than their spouse.

 

[Andrewn]

1Ti 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

Why should this advice be any different for younger divorced women?

 

[Tony B]

1Ti 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

Why should this advice be any different for younger divorced women?

It isn't, unless they are adultresses. The same conditions also apply to males and male adulterers.

 

[JacksBratt]

Her old marriage belongs to the past, like you said she wasn't even a believer. I see no reason to make a big issue out of this. I think it's great you found a girl to marry that came to faith through your family. Congrats!

Thank you.. Solid Core is the one who has issues with this..

 

[RDKirk]

It isn't, unless they are adultresses. The same conditions also apply to males and male adulterers.

All the reasons Paul gives for urging young widows to marry also applies to young mothers who have been abandoned by their husbands.

We know historically that Christianized women were divorced by their pagan husbands. Did Paul intend for those women and their children to starve? Did he intend for them to be put on the widow's list?