Sex... losing a part of yourself!?!?

[Tetra]

But she's losing her purity.

Please Biblically define "purity"... and once purity is gone, can you get it back? Does only sex cause "purity" to be gone?

She loses her virginity.

So what, it's hardly the end of the world... if it's out of wedlock, just ask forgiveness and try not to do it again.

And so what if it's a shaming exercise? How else do you want to convince kids that something is wrong to do, Other than make them ashamed to do it?'

Oh my gosh... you have to be joking right??

Well, because it doesn't work... it only creates psychological hangups surrounding sex, and young boys and girls have sex anyways. Only damaging and nothing beneficial.

 

[Greyy]

Separate question for some of you that just came to mind.

Do you ONLY lose a piece of yourself when you have sex out of wedlock, OR, simply sex in general?

You give yourself to another person when you have sex. We have laws against rape and hate child rapists because of the innate impact of sex. Having sex outside of marriage with a person you love doesn't feel like loss. But it does when the relationship ends.

 

[Armoured]

You give yourself to another person when you have sex. We have laws against rape and hate child rapists because of the innate impact of sex. Having sex outside of marriage with a person you love doesn't feel like loss. But it does when the relationship ends.

But relationships in wedlock are just as prone to ending as those out of wedlock, what difference does the act of marriage necessarily make?

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

Completely subjective? I'm sure God doesn't want us to look at sex as a physical way to ''get off.'' But rather as a romantic way in which two married partners truely show their full love and trust to each other.

And you don't need a Biblical Support for that claim.

The Lord created sex as a function:to procreate.He made it enjoyable because everything He creates is good.It's us who abuse His good gifts.At least that's how I see it.of course some people are infertile.. So they just get to enjoy His good gifts...

 

[Tetra]

Completely subjective? I'm sure God doesn't want us to look at sex as a physical way to ''get off.'' But rather as a romantic way in which two married partners truely show their full love and trust to each other.

How do you know what God wants for my sex life? The Bible doesn't address how romantic my sexual encounters with my wife need to be... Like a romance gauge or something?

 

[Tetra]

Um, then do you have any other support for that claim? or is this one of those "it's obvious! Every body knows!" type things?

I always love when you appear Armoured, I tend to be in agreement with how you think.

 

[Greyy]

But relationships in wedlock are just as prone to ending as those out of wedlock, what difference does the act of marriage necessarily make?

I don't understand the question. I don't believe that getting a piece of paper from the government, or having a ceremony performed in front of your family and/or faith community, promising to be faithful for the rest of your days, makes a sexual relationship legitimate.

Throughout nearly all of human history, having sex with a person followed a social and innate commitment to a person.

 

[Tetra]

Are you objecting to the idea that a woman loses something by having sex?

Yes, that's what I'm objecting too. We should also talk about men in the same light here as well.

Women and men don't lose anything Biblically speaking, that is specific to sex... unless you can show me where the Bible identifies specific loss related solely to sex that isn't culturally related.

 

[Armoured]

I don't understand the question. I don't believe that getting a piece of paper from the government, or having a ceremony performed in front of your family and/or faith community, promising to be faithful for the rest of your days, makes a sexual relationship legitimate.

Throughout nearly all of human history, having sex with a person followed a social and innate commitment to a person.

What's not to understand? Marriages can break down, unmarried people can stay together for life, and both end when one partner dies. You seem to be asserting that "marriage" protects people from harm caused by loss. I'm wondering ow you figure?

 

[Greyy]

Yes, that's what I'm objecting too. We should also talk about men in the same like here as well.

So your objection is only in that it did not include men?

Women and men don't lose anything Biblically speaking, that is specific to sex...

Oh wait, nevermind.

unless you can show me where the Bible identifies specific loss related solely to sex that isn't culturally related.

We could speak endlessly about the views on sexuality found in the bible. I am attempting to understand to what is your actual objection.

Did you have sex with women other than your wife? If not, than it doesn't seem that you get the concept.

 

[Greyy]

What's not to understand? Marriages can break down, unmarried people can stay together for life, and both end when one partner dies. You seem to be asserting that "marriage" protects people from harm caused by loss. I'm wondering ow you figure?

I don't think you are reading or getting my posts. I understand - I am not black and white by any means.

Without regard to "marriage" when you have sex with a person, you are creating a bond with that person. You are engaging in one of the most intimate acts you can with another person. Having sex with a person is not like going shopping with them.

 

[Armoured]

I don't think you are reading or getting my posts. I understand - I am not black and white by any means.

Without regard to "marriage" when you have sex with a person, you are creating a bond with that person. You are engaging in one of the most intimate acts you can with another person. Having sex with a person is not like going shopping with them.

It can be. It does't have to be. A lot depends on how much meaning you bring to it.

 

[Greyy]

It can be. It does't have to be. A lot depends on how much meaning you bring to it.

That's called compartmentalization.

 

[Tetra]

Did you have sex with women other than your wife? If not, than it doesn't seem that you get the concept.

I'd prefer not discussing my sex life, my comments above were very specific to an argument being made. You can PM me if you wish to talk privately about it.

One of my good friends has had over 150 sexual partners... she's never suggested she has felt a "piece" of her is missing.

That's called compartmentalization.

Yes, and many enjoy (and are easily capable of...) compartmentalizing sex.

 

[Armoured]

That's called compartmentalization.

No, it's called "not all relationships are as meaningful as other relationships".

 

[Greyy]

I'd prefer not discussing my sex life

You already have - "Sometimes my wife and I have a "quickie", do what we need to do, and than go about our day..." - you just prefer not to answer a question.

my comments above were very specific to an argument being made. You can PM me if you wish to talk privately about it.

One of my good friends has had over 150 sexual partners... she's never suggested she has felt a "piece" of her is missing.

I would imagine at that point you would not.

Yes, and many enjoy (and are easily capable of...) compartmentalizing sex.

I am not sure if this is subconscious or just being overt.

 

[HannahT]

But that pastor was right. Girls do lose a part of themselves, By having sex. And the men then ''have'' this part.

The pastor was simply trying to teach them, That they should save their virginity and lose it to someone they love and not to a random bully while they're not even 18, Like most women.

Why are you all saying that what he did was wrong? You want girls to indulge in premarital sex and to be reckless about who they do it with aswell?

No one is objecting to pointing out waiting until marriage. The part they are objecting to is the shame tactics used to teach the lesson.

You don't have to use shame tactics to get the message across, and allow God to move in their lives. People who seem to feel that is the only way are lazy IMO. Sin of any type takes a piece of you, and God repairs that piece once contrition and repentance are there - and forgiveness is given once asked.

Frankly, boys and girls need to be spoken to separately prior to the group discussion. There are aspects of this subject that use be discussed privately. That's not to say you can't continue this in group discussion. Yet, Quite honestly this discussion needs to start at home. Sadly, they do have these discussion outside of home...because many times households do NOT speak of this. So, church groups have an extra responsibility to the family...and the child they are teaching.

The boy - or girl - may see their spouse down the line as a paper with pieces torn out of it, but I hope they look to see their own torn pieces of other types of sin. The bible also talks about how we are viewed in God's eyes after we are contrite, and ask for forgiveness. He does NOT see us as the torn piece of paper any longer, even though our consequences may continue. I'm not sure the people hung up on the torn pieces of paper fully grasp that. God makes us whole again, and most of the time these discussions don't reveal that truth. It's culture that sees that person as paper with torn parts. It is culture that no longer want that person, and that is not true of God.

 

[Greyy]

No, it's called "not all relationships are as meaningful as other relationships".

You are simply being vague.

Having sex is significant, which is why you will get life in jail when it is done on a child. It's not a meaningless act that you get what you put into it. That's why sexually related crimes are so serious - it has everything to do with the act, not what you consciously put into it.

 

[Armoured]

You are simply being vague.

Having sex is significant, which is why you will get life in jail when it is done on a child. It's not a meaningless act that you get what you put into it. That's why sexually related crimes are so serious - it has everything to do with the act, not what you consciously put into it.

Wow.

No.

Sexual assault is s serious because forcing someone to have sex against their will, is a violation, not because "sex has meaning".. There are plenty of people who have sex without it having any particularly deep meaning. The problem is when the two involved bring different meanings to it.

 

[Sammy-San]

You give yourself to another person when you have sex. We have laws against rape and hate child rapists because of the innate impact of sex. Having sex outside of marriage with a person you love doesn't feel like loss. But it does when the relationship ends.

It's also a violation of their body.