sex and marriage

[lamb7]

Question:

I have seen it defined that if you ever had sex with someone that equalled marriage.
that was how I was taught but I feel that is not the case. That there needs to be a covenant so to speak and having God in mind when marrying. People say oh now you are living in adultery since you are not with the person you lost your virginity too..

Before coming to Christ I had many relationships some years and some months and sex was involved.

Finally 3 years ago I was married to my husband who I met on Chrisitan mingle btw.

We did the whole born again virign thing and abstained from sex before marriage since for both of us our whole lives we did it wrong by having sex with others.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Repentance, completely, is needed, as Yahweh directs.
One example never taught it seems is very clear :

1 Corinthians 6:16 - Bible Gateway
1 Corinthians 6:16 - Bible Gateway
Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with ... For He says [in Gen 2:24] “the two will be one flesh”.

 

[lamb7]

Repentance, completely, is needed, as Yahweh directs.
One example never taught it seems is very clear :

1 Corinthians 6:16 - Bible Gateway
1 Corinthians 6:16 - Bible Gateway
Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with ... For He says [in Gen 2:24] “the two will be one flesh”.

I did repent since this was before my coming to Christ... once we came to Christ we did not have sex until marriage, I am now Married. I don't think I should divorce my husband to go be with my first person I lost my virginity too.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I did repent since this was before my coming to Christ... I am now Married. I don't think I should divorce my husband to go be with my first person I lost my virginity too.

You are correct. To divorce your husband now would be an added sin, and is not suggested. There's no reason here to think your repentance was not correct and effective in God's Sight and God's Plan.

 

[lamb7]

You are correct. To divorce your husband now would be an added sin, and is not suggested. There's no reason here to think your repentance was not correct and effective in God's Sight and God's Plan.

Ok I was so worried I was sitting here like oh no I am in sin because I got married after all that fornication in my past.. Phew! Yea I felt God would not want me to do that.

It was so refreshing that we waited to have sex before marriage after living our whole adult life not doing that , it was worth it and the Holy Spirit is to thank for keeping that straight for us.

We were mocked by unbelievers and inspired fellow believers. Glad God is part of our life now. ♥

 

[Southernscotty]

Many of us have made mistakes in the past, But the best part is that the past is just that, *PAST* ...
1 John 1:9 Says God is faithful and just to forgive us when we ask for it :]

 

[lamb7]

Many of us have made mistakes in the past, But the best part is that the past is just that, *PAST* ...
1 John 1:9 Says God is faithful and just to forgive us when we ask for it :]

Thank you for that ♥

 

[lamb7]

You are correct. To divorce your husband now would be an added sin, and is not suggested. There's no reason here to think your repentance was not correct and effective in God's Sight and God's Plan.

Thank you for your help ♥

 

[Dave G.]

Thank you for that ♥

When you guys came to Christ and became born again I assume you had a time of reflection in your hearts to have your past sins forgiven. You repented, you abstained and you married. Your old sins are forgiven and scripture says they are not just forgiven but forgotten in Hebrews 8:12 New International Version
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

 

[Kevin Snow]

Just keep in mind that you are totally right. When you feel guilt about how you should go back to your original husband, that is not a lie. God did make marriage and that is the sex. But the moment you commit adultery by lying with someone else, then you can't go back to the original, as it says here:

If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man’s wife, will he return to her? Would not that land be greatly polluted? You have played the harlot with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the LORD. ~Jeremiah 3:1

So understand that adultery is immediately divorce from the past persons. But since you've repented of your former ways, you are forgiven! God has called you to peace. Therefore let those things be forgotten.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Says God is faithful and just to forgive us when we ask for it

Not translated right.

There is a complete difference between "ask for it" VS repent (change of heart).

A multitude of people "think" they are surely forgiven, and aren't, because they didn't repent - they did not have a change of heart nor change of life/ actions.

 

[lamb7]

Just keep in mind that you are totally right. When you feel guilt about how you should go back to your original husband, that is not a lie. God did make marriage and that is the sex. But the moment you commit adultery by lying with someone else, then you can't go back to the original, as it says here:

If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man’s wife, will he return to her? Would not that land be greatly polluted? You have played the harlot with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the LORD. ~Jeremiah 3:1

So understand that adultery is immediately divorce from the past persons. But since you've repented of your former ways, you are forgiven! God has called you to peace. Therefore let those things be forgotten.

Thank you for your post ♥

 

[lamb7]

When you guys came to Christ and became born again I assume you had a time of reflection in your hearts to have your past sins forgiven. You repented, you abstained and you married. Your old sins are forgiven and scripture says they are not just forgiven but forgotten in Hebrews 8:12 New International Version
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."

Thank you for the post I agree.

 

[lamb7]

Just keep in mind that you are totally right. When you feel guilt about how you should go back to your original husband, that is not a lie. God did make marriage and that is the sex. But the moment you commit adultery by lying with someone else, then you can't go back to the original, as it says here:

If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another man’s wife, will he return to her? Would not that land be greatly polluted? You have played the harlot with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the LORD. ~Jeremiah 3:1

So understand that adultery is immediately divorce from the past persons. But since you've repented of your former ways, you are forgiven! God has called you to peace. Therefore let those things be forgotten.

My first person I was with cheated on me days after we lost virginity so yea.. Fail... we tried to make it work but he left me anyway..

 

[Southernscotty]

Not translated right.

There is a complete difference between "ask for it" VS repent (change of heart).

A multitude of people "think" they are surely forgiven, and aren't, because they didn't repent - they did not have a change of heart nor change of life/ actions.

Well yes I agree the heart must be involved and an empty prayer is useless, I just assumed she realized this since she is a christian. Thank for pointing it out.

 

[lamb7]

I am happy to be married my husband and I are open and we are committed and take marriage seriously. It is so nice to FINALLY be doing it God's way, very fulfilling, learning so much.

 

[lamb7]

Well yes I agree the heart must be involved and an empty prayer is useless, I just assumed she realized this since she is a christian. Thank for pointing it out.

Yes ♥

 

[Dave G.]

My first person I was with cheated on me days after we lost virginity so yea.. Fail... we tried to make it work but he left me anyway..

lamb7, non of that matters anymore, it's over with. Consider the account of the woman at the well, after that encounter she went on to win a whole town to Jesus..

 

[vinsight4u]

I would say to look at John 4:18. This lady had had five husbands and was then living with a guy- but he was not counted as her husband. She went on to tell others about the Messiah that she had been expecting to come.

 

[vinsight4u]

David took Bathsheba, but she was after that time still considered to be married to her husband-till he was slain by a plot from David.