Seriously... Is there anybody at all to date in the Orthodox Church?

[Xenophon]

I hear ya. I'm a cradle Orthodox and I don't know anyone you met their significant other in church. Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends can't think of any. It's a rarity for a number of reasons.

I've seen it once. A guy came to the parish, was chrismated into the church, and within the year had married. Now, a few months before he appeared she had told me out of the blue that she'd never marry me. Why? I'll never know. But, they are a wonderful couple - very good friends of mine.

 

[buzuxi02]

I've seen it once. A guy came to the parish, was chrismated into the church, and within the year had married. Now, a few months before he appeared she had told me out of the blue that she'd never marry me. Why? I'll never know. But, they are a wonderful couple - very good friends of mine.

Level of attraction is one cog in the wheel that either draws us to a potential spouse and lack of it can repel us, or permanently put us in the friends zone. Another thing is you may be too Christian! As strange as this may sound most Orthodox women want a mate who is Orthodox on a more superficial level. Most are raised secular with church being nothing more than a cultural component of their identity.

 

[Xenophon]

Level of attraction is one cog in the wheel that either draws us to a potential spouse and lack of it can repel us, or permanently put us in the friends zone. Another thing is you may be too Christian! As strange as this may sound most Orthodox women want a mate who is Orthodox on a more superficial level. Most are raised secular with church being nothing more than a cultural component of their identity.

Tell me about it, lol, I was once dumped by a certain cradle orthodox woman because in a discussion about Game of Thrones I called the series inappropriate contentographic... and then she said that she watches inappropriate content too, so I said that was a sin and that she shouldn't - she then said that I should become a monk and dumped me.

As for attraction, I may not be the most handsome man, but I'm not ugly, lol.

 

[All4Christ]

Level of attraction is one cog in the wheel that either draws us to a potential spouse and lack of it can repel us, or permanently put us in the friends zone. Another thing is you may be too Christian! As strange as this may sound most Orthodox women want a mate who is Orthodox on a more superficial level. Most are raised secular with church being nothing more than a cultural component of their identity.

Seriously??

We certainly have different experiences. Consider that your parish experience may not be the same as all or even most Orthodox. (I certainly hope your experience isn’t indicative of most other parishes in your jurisdiction as well.)

 

[buzuxi02]

Seriously??

We certainly have different experiences. Consider that your parish experience may not be the same as all or even most Orthodox. (I certainly hope your experience isn’t indicative of most other parishes in your jurisdiction as well.)

Everyone is a product of their environment. The attitudes towards religious men by church going women will not deviate too greatly from the general society at large. Parish life is not insular enough to overcome the secular culture around them. It's not just my jurisdiction nor limited to Orthodoxy, but a plague that has neutered Christianity in the western world.

 

[All4Christ]

Everyone is a product of their environment. The attitudes towards religious men by church going women will not deviate too greatly from the general society at large. Parish life is not insular enough to overcome the secular culture around them. It's not just my jurisdiction nor limited to Orthodoxy, but a plague that has neutered Christianity in the western world.

It’s very enlightening to hear your opinion of us. I’m thankful not all are of the same opinion.

We are to be out of the world, and not be of it. That is the truth of the Christian faith. (For that matter, men aren’t better than women at any of the secular or religious culture. We all suffer from the broken world, and we all can depend on God to save us from it).

 

[buzuxi02]

It’s very enlightening to hear your opinion of us. I’m thankful not all are of the same opinion.

It's not meant to be derogatory, it just is what it is. For most men a highly religious woman is a plus, even most men who are not religious if they find a potential mate that is highly religious will find it to be more of a positive than a negative. The opposite is not the case. Most western women including the church going ones do not view a man who is an avid believer and church goer as a plus, it's just how it is in our secular post Christian societies. Such Men have been getting the reaction Xenophon got; basically that he is a "vanilla" prude.

 

[Justin-H.S.]

Tell me about it, lol, I was once dumped by a certain cradle orthodox woman because in a discussion about Game of Thrones I called the series inappropriate contentographic... and then she said that she watches inappropriate content too, so I said that was a sin and that she shouldn't - she then said that I should become a monk and dumped me.

As for attraction, I may not be the most handsome man, but I'm not ugly, lol.

I think part of the issue is that you're an old soul, and the girls you interact with at church are too immature, mentally speaking. Basically, they haven't "hit the wall" yet and don't realize they need to bring more to the table than just their youthful looks. A youthful woman and maturity is a rare find indeed.

 

[Justin-H.S.]

It's not meant to be derogatory, it just is what it is. For most men a highly religious woman is a plus, even most men who are not religious if they find a potential mate that is highly religious will find it to be more of a positive than a negative. The opposite is not the case. Most western women including the church going ones do not view a man who is an avid believer and church goer as a plus, it's just how it is in our secular post Christian societies. Such Men have been getting the reaction Xenophon got; basically that he is a "vanilla" prude.

Being "religious" in today's culture doesn't even have to be going into full-monk mode. All you'd need to do is morning and evening prayers, prayers before meals, and read the Bible every morning. That's not a lot. Everything else will eventually come like avoiding negative aspects of the culture.

When I first became Orthodox, I was still watching R rated movies and whatnot, and listening to degenerate music. Now, I don't because it's just spiritually unhealthy for me. You can't expect too much too soon. A lot of these cradle Orthodox are basically secularists with an Orthodox veneer. You can't expect them to go from 0-60 in 3 seconds. Showing them a little bit of grace would be the kind thing to do.

But, to your point I agree. My non-denominational Ex did not like me becoming Orthodox because I went too fast too soon. You live and learn.

 

[AMM]

Being "religious" in today's culture doesn't even have to be going into full-monk mode. All you'd need to do is morning and evening prayers, prayers before meals, and read the Bible every morning. That's not a lot. Everything else will eventually come like avoiding negative aspects of the culture.

Yep. I remember hearing a quote, I think from St Augustine of Hippo but I’m not sure, where someone wanted to know how to love and was getting hung up on tiny things while basically going “monk-mode”. The saint (whoever it was) said, “pray and do whatever you want, and prayer will teach you everything.”

 

[SingularityOne]

Yep. I remember hearing a quote, I think from St Augustine of Hippo but I’m not sure, where someone wanted to know how to love and was getting hung up on tiny things while basically going “monk-mode”. The saint (whoever it was) said, “pray and do whatever you want, and prayer will teach you everything.”

Good stuff. Focus on “monk mode” and be open to all that passes through your circumstances. God is in control of our cincunstances, but he can not control our choice to pray. Watchfulness, stillness, and ceaseless prayer is the way.

As the guy in our society though, I think you will eventually have to be the one that initiates. But, depending on God’s Will in that process is the vital focus of the nous.

 

[Xenophon]

I was thinking today... the only benefit of Covid is that you know a woman isn't worth it if she's wearing a mask.