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Seriously... Is there anybody at all to date in the Orthodox Church?

Discussion in 'The Ancient Way - Eastern Orthodox' started by Xenophon, Sep 16, 2020.

  1. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I've been in the church for a few years. I'm financially stable, educated, and active in the Church. I would like to be married, but there are no unmarried Orthodox women near my age around. Two dozen young converts here, but not a single female among them.

    I've tried orthodox dating sites and usually after the second or third message, she'll become unresponsive for no discernable reason... you'd think someone would have the courtesy to say, "actually, no, I don't care to talk to you anymore."

    And the one time someone really talked with me, after a few months I ended up driving out a few states away to see her - but she stood me up. I spent the day in that nice little town going to various thrift stores, because I might as well use my vacation time the best I could since I was already there.

    So, I feel like I've done right by at least attempting to find orthodox women.

    I don't really have a social circle outside the Church, but maybe it's time. But then again, it's like, 'don't get yoked to those who don't believe the same.' So, should I? (yeah, yeah, ask my priest.)
     
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  2. ArmyMatt

    ArmyMatt Regular Member Supporter

    +15,192
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    well, maybe check out a pan-Orthodox retreat that's of interest to you.

    and speaking for myself, my wife and I found each other when we stopped searching. God has a way of working like that.
     
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  3. Tigger45

    Tigger45 St. Joseph Supporter

    +10,507
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Constitution
    Have you visited other Orthodox parishes in your area? I’m not talking about switching your membership but its quite possible that when those sweet little old ladies find out you’re single they can’t help themselves from being matchmakers. Just sayin’.
     
  4. prodromos

    prodromos Senior Veteran Supporter

    +7,728
    Australia
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    Unfortunately my daughter is a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice. Nothing short of a Mr Darcy will suffice for her.
     
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  5. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Yeah, I heard that when I got into the church. One of them said to me, "Oh, you're single, we'll find someone for you." Didn't know what to think of that at the time. Three years later, I've seen them do so for others and not me. My parish is 30-40 minutes away and it's the nearest. I'm looking at another 30 minutes to get to the next (pending good traffic.) Maybe I should, but with a certain pandemic I'm not even sure they'd let me in, lol.
     
  6. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I'm like Mr. Darcy... except real and not posh.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
  7. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I've not had much fun with pan-Orthodox retreats or events. I'm like a decade ahead of everyone my age.
    I'm 26, but I've settled like someone whose 36. They rent or live with parents, I pay mortgage. They sit around and netflix, TV makes me sick. They listen to Billie Eilish, I list to Pink Floyd (who they've never heard of.) They tend to live off their parents, I'm independent and out of debt (mortgage aside.) They do 'adult' colouring books, I write poetry. And maybe I'm prideful in saying that, but I don't mix well with people my age. There's nothing to talk about that doesn't make me want to leave.

    They think white collar is superior, but I'm blue collar and in the union. And right when that's found out, I do notice they tend to lose interest. Similarly, prior to having a bachelor's degree, interest was immediately lost when they found that I didn't have it yet. So, is it because Orthodox women are all from higher societal classes? Is lower middle class too low for them?

    And I guess that's just local retreats mostly, but I've got work and just go about around the country (when that was still possible.)
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2020
  8. Bible Highlighter

    Bible Highlighter Law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. Supporter

    +6,703
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Well, I am not Orthodox, but I know your problem in finding a loving Christian wife. I dated Christian women here in the States without finding the right one for a long time. First, before you do anything. Pray. I prayed for about two decades before I found my Christian soul mate. I joined a Christian dating site (that is no longer in existence) and she contacted me from Brazil. I flown out to meet her, and we hit it off. We were engaged for approximately four years before I tied the knot. Brazillians are very family orientated, and they are down to Earth, and good cooks (generally speaking). Another family member of mine also married their spouse from outside the country and they are also happily married. Also, the churches are more simple in Brazil, as well. Granted while this worked for me, this may not work for you. As I said, pray about it and ask God for a soul mate, and He will deliver (if it is His will for your life).
     
  9. rusmeister

    rusmeister A Russified American Orthodox Chestertonian

    +3,277
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    If your determination is super-strong, and you are ready to do anything, there are thousands of Russian women in churches looking for men. A couple of members here went that route, though they wound up living in Russia. Living in a foreign land for the rest of your life is a hard row to hoe, and not everyone can hack it. But if your eye is fixed firmly on eternity, it’s doable...
     
  10. ArmyMatt

    ArmyMatt Regular Member Supporter

    +15,192
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Married
    I never said you needed to find someone your age. and, if you are 26 with the mentality of a 36 year old, you're probably not the only one.
     
  11. daydreameranastasia

    daydreameranastasia Just a library lady

    345
    +349
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    I’m much more of a Colonel Brandon from Sense and Sensibility girl myself :muahah:
     
  12. daydreameranastasia

    daydreameranastasia Just a library lady

    345
    +349
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    Have you asked again? Sometimes it’s easy for people to forget because life can get so hectic. Have you tried looking at orthodox single pages on Facebook? I think it’s good to have an age range of potential dates. There might be a 26 year old that has a more mature attitude. Dating and relationships are hard even for the secular world. Everything will be okay. God bless.
     
  13. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I do not have social media of any kind, unless you include this forum and another forum.
     
  14. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman Active Member

    457
    +179
    Croatia
    Christian
    Single
    Don't search only orthodox, the world is big.
     
  15. daydreameranastasia

    daydreameranastasia Just a library lady

    345
    +349
    Germany
    Eastern Orthodox
    Private
    There are several orthodox Christian single pages on Facebook, they look pretty good...they may be worth a look:idea1:
     
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  16. bèlla

    bèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +11,028
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    Xenophon,

    I'm sorry you're struggling to find a companion. You've been given helpful advice thus far. I think it's important to look at your situation realistically. The Orthodox community isn't very large in the States. You're selecting from a smaller pool and need to be open-minded unless you're willing to wait.

    That doesn't mean you accept anyone who comes your way. But it does imply the necessity for wisdom and a willingness to consider possibilities you wouldn't fathom on your own. The ideal you have in mind may contradict the one God has in store. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's unimportant in the long run.

    I approach the subject from three angles:
    • Confirm I'm called to marriage
    • Submit my desire to the Lord
    • Prepare the vessel for reception
    The how, where and when are His concern. He doesn't need my assistance.

    Yours in His Service,

    ~Bella
     
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  17. Justin-H.S.

    Justin-H.S. Retrograde

    787
    +647
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Engaged
    Be patient and God will provide. Speaking from experience.
     
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  18. SingularityOne

    SingularityOne Well-Known Member Supporter

    +550
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I’m in the same boat brother. DM me if you’d like to talk. I generally have a really rough strategy to all of this without the toxicity of dating apps. I’m 25 btw.
     
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  19. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Not necessarily the mentality, but culturally. And I know you've not said it, but I mentioned it in the OP.
     
  20. Xenophon

    Xenophon Well-Known Member

    689
    +567
    United States
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    No. I don't think anything is worth joining Facebook, lol
     
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