Self loathing...

[Loser82070]

I'm beginning to accept that I'll NEVER get over the raw, deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself. I truly know the world would be a better place if I'd never existed. I'm completely worthless.

 

[Nadine777]

Hello, how are you? I saw your post and thought i'd respond with some positive words. God loves you, Jesus literally thought you were to die for, that is more than enough proof that you are not worthless. Start loving yourself simply because God loves you and He created you. Stop focusing on yourself so much and start asking God what plans He has for your life, eventually in your heart you will know what God has called you to do in life.

 

[Roseonathorn]

God bless You, Why not let God have free hands with You, He can do a great job with You still, I am sure He has a plan for You.

This pretty flower looks rather insignificant as a bulb, but when planted and fed and given right conditions it blooms magnifically. Give God Yet another Chance. Please

 

[cloudyday2]

I am the same way. It's interesting that you are married. I always assumed that if I had a spouse then I wouldn't loath myself as much. Obviously the solution isn't that simple if you have the problem even though you are married. I hope you will share any insights that you have. The only insight I can share is that exercise help me feel better about myself for a day or two afterwards.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Oh Marriage can be torture to selfesteem, especially if one of the spouse is a narcissist or perfectionist or worse. Then seek up a psychiatrist, or a mature psychologist and go there alone and not as a couple and tell not much of it to your spouse, no nagging, You will need that to heal and recover and get mentally strong.

 

[Tolworth John]

I'm beginning to accept that I'll NEVER get over the raw, deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself. I truly know the world would be a better place if I'd never existed. I'm completely worthless.

May I ask why you hate yourself?

What is it that puts you beyond the reach of Jesus's love and mercy?

Please talk to someone and Listen to what they say.

As others have said you are loved.

 

[Roseonathorn]

I'm beginning to accept that I'll NEVER get over the raw, deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself. I truly know the world would be a better place if I'd never existed. I'm completely worthless.

When You can not forgive in your own power then ask God to give You the power or say gift to forgive Yourself as He has forgiven You, so that You can serve Him better and do not get stuck in self loathing. You need to grow and forgive, bit by bit, take a new habit, read one page in the new testament a day.

 

[disciple1]

I'm beginning to accept that I'll NEVER get over the raw, deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself. I truly know the world would be a better place if I'd never existed. I'm completely worthless.

deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself

Studying the bible would help you, you don't know it since you haven't done it much.
Look at these verses.

Matthew chapter 4 verse 4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"
Romans chapter 1 verse 28
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.

John chapter 8 verse 31,32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, " If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
2 John
9 Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.
Job chapter 23 verse 12
I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.

Matthew 11
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Luke chapter 21
33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Romans chapter 10
17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.
Mark chapter 13
31 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
James chapter 1
25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
James chapter 4
8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Isaiah chapter 45 verse 19
I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.' I, the LORD, speak the truth; I declare what is right.
Jeremiah chapter 9
24 but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.
Jeremiah chapter 5 verse 1
5 “Go up and down the streets of Jerusalem,
look around and consider,
search through her squares.
If you can find but one person
who deals honestly and seeks the truth,
I will forgive this city.
Psalm 119 verse 114
You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.

 

[Loser82070]

1) Cloudyday2; it's not so hard to find a wife. Just find somebody who was physically abused and date them. When they realize you don't hit, they find you acceptable... at least until a better offer comes their way.
2) What makes me so bad is that I'm a failure and I'm worthless. I'll never be rich, ($50,000 a yr. or more) and I'll never be a benefit to anybody, just a liability.

 

[Halbhh]

I'm beginning to accept that I'll NEVER get over the raw, deep-seeded HATRED I have for myself. I truly know the world would be a better place if I'd never existed. I'm completely worthless.

A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone."


28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

[disciple1]

1) Cloudyday2; it's not so hard to find a wife. Just find somebody who was physically abused and date them. When they realize you don't hit, they find you acceptable... at least until a better offer comes their way.
2) What makes me so bad is that I'm a failure and I'm worthless. I'll never be rich, ($50,000 a yr. or more) and I'll never be a benefit to anybody, just a liability.

Even if you were a billionaire it wouldn't make your life any better, money doesn't matter.

 

[Loser82070]

You people have it wrong... I'm not looking for help, I'm beyond that. I'm just venting... it's all I can do about anything.

 

[Loser82070]

Even if you were a billionaire it wouldn't make your life any better, money doesn't matter.

Spoken by someone who never had money. I had a VERY rich uncle, and he told me most certainly money IS happiness!

 

[cloudyday2]

1) Cloudyday2; it's not so hard to find a wife. Just find somebody who was physically abused and date them. When they realize you don't hit, they find you acceptable... at least until a better offer comes their way.
2) What makes me so bad is that I'm a failure and I'm worthless. I'll never be rich, ($50,000 a yr. or more) and I'll never be a benefit to anybody, just a liability.

A couple of years ago there was a lot of stressful things happening at the same time and I hit rock bottom. Suddenly I felt that everything in my life was part of a grand plan. All my failures seemed to be part of that plan. I felt love and forgiveness towards myself - especially me as a child. I'm normally not emotional, but when I tried to explain it at my next therapy session I started choked-up and watery eyes and runny nose. I thought all my psychological problems had been solved. It was such a relief. ... Unfortunately the feeling went away after a couple of weeks, and I went back to "normal" (self-loathing)

But that shows there is hope for me and probably for you too. It's not about circumstances. I could be President of the United States, and I would still loath myself. I don't know how to fix it though, because that was a real fluke when the feeling departed briefly.

Oh yes, I take vitamins that have methylated folate, because a lot of people can't digest the B vitamins in processed foods. You might try that. Also exercise. Sunshine might help. I notice I get where I am afraid to go outside in the sunshine. I think I feel that I don't even deserve to feel good by being in the sunlight LOL

 

[Celticroots]

Money is not happiness. My dad and stepmom have money but it certainly didn’t make me happy when I stayed with them because they treated me badly.

 

[disciple1]

Spoken by someone who never had money. I had a VERY rich uncle, and he told me most certainly money IS happiness!

Spoken by someone who never had money. I had a VERY rich uncle, and he told me most certainly money IS happiness!

He lied to you.
Ecclesiastes chapter 5 verse 10
Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

Matthew chapter 6 verse 24
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

As long as you love money, I don't think I or anyone can help you.

 

[Tolworth John]

You people have it wrong... I'm not looking for help, I'm beyond that. I'm just venting... it's all I can do about anything.

Vent away.

people here do care, even those bickering about money, care about you and your self loathing.

May I request that you talk to someone.
We all have deep feelings about many things, but a deep self hatred is not a normal feeling, so please seek help.

 

[cloudyday2]

@Loser82070 , maybe part of it is to imagine that you are not the person taking actions in this world but only an intimate observer of that person. Maybe from that perspective you can understand that the person was doing the best the he/she could, and maybe there is even some nobility in the suffering and tragedy.

Science tells us that we do not have freewill. It's like we are reading the story of that person's life and trying to see the meaning?

 

[Loser82070]

He lied to you.
Ecclesiastes chapter 5 verse 10
Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

Matthew chapter 6 verse 24
"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

As long as you love money, I don't think I or anyone can help you.

Well, he lived in both spectrums, flat broke and LOADED and I'm sorry but I'm gonna take the word of someone who's actually BEEN THERE.

 

[disciple1]

Well, he lived in both spectrums, flat broke and LOADED and I'm sorry but I'm gonna take the word of someone who's actually BEEN THERE.

About 20 years ago I had some money I was going to invest in rental properties, but by studying the bible, I decided to give it all away.

Luke 16:19-31New International Version (NIV)
The Rich Man and Lazarus
19 “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20 At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21 and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’

25 “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’

27 “He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, 28 for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’

29 “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’

30 “‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’

31 “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”