Scared

[LostChildinTheMidst]

im exactly like judas. And if my heart is as hardened like his I don’t know why I’m writing here. When I say I’m just like judas I mean it, I can almost feel myself going down the same path. And to be honest I’m just scared I’m so afraid and scared but judas was too. I don’t want to repent for some reason. Pls help. I’m so scared maybe this is a teenage thing that’ll pass. I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and sad anxiety and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to think f this anymore...

 

[God is good]

im exactly like judas. And if my heart is as hardened like his I don’t know why I’m writing here. When I say I’m just like judas I mean it, I can almost feel myself going down the same path. And to be honest I’m just scared I’m so afraid and scared but judas was too. I don’t want to repent for some reason. Pls help. I’m so scared maybe this is a teenage thing that’ll pass. I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and sad anxiety and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to think f this anymore...

Hi, I am really sorry that you're going through this, I have had similar thoughts and I don't know why. God really loves you and please try to focus on Jesus Christ and how much He loves you. God bless you and Jesus is Lord. Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.

 

[Oldmantook]

The difference between you and Judas is that he didn't repent. You still have that opportunity should you choose to pursue it. Respectfully if it's any encouragement to you, if you're a believer judging from what little you wrote, at least you're not lukewarm. If you feel cold and totally estranged from God this what Jesus says to you: “I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. 16 So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth" (Rev 3:15-16). Jesus is saying here that since you are cold at least you know that you are estranged in relationship from him and still have the opportunity to repent. On the other hand, Jesus condemned the lukewarm Christians because they mistakenly believe that they're in a right relationship with Jesus when in actuality, they're not. They think that they don't need to repent but Jesus says he'll vomit them out of his mouth.
If your heart is hardened toward God, Jesus promised that he will enter the door of your heart if you're willing to open your heart to him and repent as he states in Rev 3:19-21:
Those whom I love, I reprove and chastise. Be earnest, therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, [then] I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.
Jesus always keeps him promises. I hope I didn't make any presumptions or assumptions about you or your situation as hopefully this was of some help.

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

The difference between you and Judas is that he didn't repent. You still have that opportunity should you choose to pursue it. Respectfully if it's any encouragement to you, if you're a believer judging from what little you wrote, at least you're not lukewarm. If you feel cold and totally estranged from God this what Jesus says to you: “I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. 16 So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth" (Rev 3:15-16). Jesus is saying here that since you are cold at least you know that you are estranged in relationship from him and still have the opportunity to repent. On the other hand, Jesus condemned the lukewarm Christians because they mistakenly believe that they're in a right relationship with Jesus when in actuality, they're not. They think that they don't need to repent but Jesus says he'll vomit them out of his mouth.
If your heart is hardened toward God, Jesus promised that he will enter the door of your heart if you're willing to open your heart to him and repent as he states in Rev 3:19-21:
Those whom I love, I reprove and chastise. Be earnest, therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, [then] I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.
Jesus always keeps him promises. I hope I didn't make any presumptions or assumptions about you or your situation as hopefully this was of some help.

Thank you so much for these helpful words. When you say pursue do you mean slowly make changes and let go, or do you mean let go all at once. Because I have a hard time doing that when it comes to repentance. I have a fear of reading the Bible and being close with god again. I’m so scared so I try to act like it’s not there and try to ignore it. But I know one day it’ll come back the fact that there is a God, but it scares me so much so I try to ignore it.

 

[saved24]

Praying for you. The thoughts you have are ones of condemnation. Jesus does not condemn you but knows your heart, He knows that you truly want to follow Him. Trust Him, this soon will pass.

 

[Oldmantook]

Thank you so much for these helpful words. When you say pursue do you mean slowly make changes and let go, or do you mean let go all at once. Because I have a hard time doing that when it comes to repentance. I have a fear of reading the Bible and being close with god again. I’m so scared so I try to act like it’s not there and try to ignore it. But I know one day it’ll come back the fact that there is a God, but it scares me so much so I try to ignore it.

You are very welcome. Repentance is a process. Actually, a life-time of ongoing change, unless God miraculously intervenes and changes you in an area which he does do at times based on the testimony of some alcoholics, drug users, etc. where God took away their desire to abuse substances. Otherwise change usually doesn't happen overnight. I think the main thing is your desire to change and God is the one who gives grace to enable you to change. The other thing that would be most helpful is if you know a fellow Christian or pastor in your area who could befriend you and support you. The Christian walk is not a solitary one as we need one another to strengthen and edify each other. That would be especially helpful since you fear reading the Bible as someone could read it together with you. I would venture to say that our common enemy who is Satan wants you to not read the scriptures as he knows that it is a powerful sword that you can wield to combat your fears and anxieties. If you walk alone as a Christian, it is easy for the enemy to prey upon your fears and anxieties and deceive you. Having a person or group of believers to love and support you is vital. Do you see this as a viable option and do you know of a good church, house church or Bible study group in your area?

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

You are very welcome. Repentance is a process. Actually, a life-time of ongoing change, unless God miraculously intervenes and changes you in an area which he does do at times based on the testimony of some alcoholics, drug users, etc. where God took away their desire to abuse substances. Otherwise change usually doesn't happen overnight. I think the main thing is your desire to change and God is the one who gives grace to enable you to change. The other thing that would be most helpful is if you know a fellow Christian or pastor in your area who could befriend you and support you. The Christian walk is not a solitary one as we need one another to strengthen and edify each other. That would be especially helpful since you fear reading the Bible as someone could read it together with you. I would venture to say that our common enemy who is Satan wants you to not read the scriptures as he knows that it is a powerful sword that you can wield to combat your fears and anxieties. If you walk alone as a Christian, it is easy for the enemy to prey upon your fears and anxieties and deceive you. Having a person or group of believers to love and support you is vital. Do you see this as a viable option and do you know of a good church, house church or Bible study group in your area?

I do. How can I have the genuine desire to change. God sees right through me and this is why I say I’m like judas. No desire to repent, but I know that I must.

 

[Oldmantook]

I do. How can I have the genuine desire to change. God sees right through me and this is why I say I’m like judas. No desire to repent, but I know that I must.

Small steps perhaps? All long journeys begin with a first step but you must be willing to take that first step. You may not "feel" like it but having someone to come along beside you may be a first step and the desire which you acknowledge is not there now may eventually come as you receive support and encouragement from others. A seed left by itself without any watering from the outside dies.
"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken" (Ecclesiates 4:12). New Living Translation
God's word is true and can be trusted.

 

[friend of]

Hey TC I know how your feeling. It can be a real bummer. As much as we may desire it to be the case, we can't always rely on our feelings to accurately reflect our spiritual progress and right relationship to God. Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us to trust in God and lean not on our own, often faulty, understandings. It can be a difficult exercise in faith and trust to let go of how our hearts demand us to feel sometimes. We are analytical creatures by nature. But pray that overtime you will come to trust the words of the bible at face value. It is a process, such is life. Do not fret. May you be blessed

John 6:44
Philippians 1:6
Proverbs 16:3

 

[discipler7]

im exactly like judas.

.
The spiritual source of our involuntary, evil/immoral or baseless thoughts of doubts, fears/worries, lust, greed, selfishness, hate, anger, jealousy, etc, is the devil - the result of Adam's Original Sin - GENESIS.3:14-19, ROMANS.5:12, JOHN.8:44, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8.

Learn to counter such involuntary evil thoughts from the devil with the Law/Word of God(MATTHEW.4:1-11) and/or just ignore them(= let the evil thoughts come and go). We should not entertain such thoughts and allow them to bear fruit into voluntary sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking against God, our neighbor/friend/family or ourselves, eg blasphemy, murder/suicide, adultery/AIDS, stealing, lying/cheating/ /being cheated, dishonor parents, social withdrawal, etc.
.

I think, like most of the Jews, Judas Iscariot did not accept Jesus as the Christ/Messiah/Saviour and so betrayed Him to the Jewish Temple authorities. The Jews wanted a Messiah/Christ who would defeat the Roman occupiers and give them back their kingdom of earth, ie Judah/Israel.(JOHN.6:15)
... Judas realized his grave mistake after the resurrection of Jesus Christ when Jesus appeared to the other apostles/disciples over 40 days except for him. Even doubting Thomas got a visit from Jesus.(JOHN.20:28) So, Judas knew for certain that he was bound for hell when he dies = he committed suicide.
... Did you betray Jesus Christ/God.? Do you know for certain that you are bound for hell when you die.?

 

[Bro. Daniel]

The difference between you and Judas is that he didn't repent. You still have that opportunity should you choose to pursue it. Respectfully if it's any encouragement to you, if you're a believer judging from what little you wrote, at least you're not lukewarm. If you feel cold and totally estranged from God this what Jesus says to you: “I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. 16 So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth" (Rev 3:15-16). Jesus is saying here that since you are cold at least you know that you are estranged in relationship from him and still have the opportunity to repent. On the other hand, Jesus condemned the lukewarm Christians because they mistakenly believe that they're in a right relationship with Jesus when in actuality, they're not. They think that they don't need to repent but Jesus says he'll vomit them out of his mouth.
If your heart is hardened toward God, Jesus promised that he will enter the door of your heart if you're willing to open your heart to him and repent as he states in Rev 3:19-21:
Those whom I love, I reprove and chastise. Be earnest, therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, [then] I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.
Jesus always keeps him promises. I hope I didn't make any presumptions or assumptions about you or your situation as hopefully this was of some help.

Um... Judas actually repented, but his act of suicide got the best of him.

Matthew 27:3 Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,

 

[Bro. Daniel]

im exactly like judas. And if my heart is as hardened like his I don’t know why I’m writing here. When I say I’m just like judas I mean it, I can almost feel myself going down the same path. And to be honest I’m just scared I’m so afraid and scared but judas was too. I don’t want to repent for some reason. Pls help. I’m so scared maybe this is a teenage thing that’ll pass. I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and sad anxiety and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to think f this anymore...

The best we can do is wholeheartedly repent unto the Lord, apologize, ask Him forgiveness for any sins committed covering them with the Blood of Jesus and ask Him to replace the stony heart with a fleshy one in prayer according to Ezekiel 36:26 in Jesus' name. Also pray aloud Psalm 51, 90, 91, 23, 32, 75, then ask Him to help stay on course for salvation, and give strength in any areas of weakness double fold to get back into His Word daily. Ask Him inquiry prayers of what He wants to do in your life as well because it's a process of removing anything within us not of Him as He continuously molds and shapes us His way.

Blessings unto you a hundredfold and may the Lord direct your paths in Yahushua's name.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Philippians 4:20
Numbers 6:24-26

 

[Little Lantern]

Father, I ask for You to soften @LostChildinTheMidst's heart to accept Your will. Show her what is hindering her desire to draw close to You. Empower her by Your Spirit to choose life that she might live abundantly in You.

 

[paul1149]

I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do.

The Psalms have provided comfort for countless numbers over the millennia, because they deal with the human soul where it really is. They chart emotional ground that to many of us is unknown and confusing. There is an oft-repeated theme there, by which many of them start out in utter despair, yet almost every one ends on a positive note. You can trace the author's thoughts as he progresses, and at some point faith kicks in - the kind of faith described at Heb 11.6 - and with new perspective the psalm changes course.

Check out some of the psalms, and I think you'll be encouraged. Then, I would go to the Lord in prayer, and take your first post in this thread and read it to Him. Bringing our problem directly to Him is completely different than mulling them over and over in our minds, or even sharing them with others (though that isn't wrong if we're looking for direction).

Also, I hope you're in the Bible, and especially the NT, enough to know that the Father is not willing that any should perish. The door is wide open to you for full fellowship with Him. And if you're lost the Good Shepherd will come looking for you. So the first step is to calm yourself down, so you can hear His voice when He calls.

 

[Dave G.]

I do. How can I have the genuine desire to change. God sees right through me and this is why I say I’m like judas. No desire to repent, but I know that I must.

Have you approached Jesus Christ with this, even in just a little bit of faith ? Jesus loves the young people, He loves us all but He has a soft spot for the young. He knows all about crazy teen age hormones too. And above all He is patient. So go at this just a little at a time, take that little piece of faith you obviously have or you wouldn't be here writing and just Go to Jesus with that small amount first. Explain to Him you are confused and scared. You said you are scared enough times so you must be !! Take that to Him and see what He does with it in your mind, some different thinking might begin to come your way. It just takes a little trust in Jesus, you don't have to be bubbling over with it..

Know that in this world today Satan is working overtime to bring confusion to even some who believe strongly, don't give him a chance to rule in your life. He is at work making great deception, so to me it is no surprise at all that someone like yourself, or even myself at times, has trouble like this. The answer is always Jesus and to repel anything from Satan.

 

[LostChildinTheMidst]

.
The spiritual source of our involuntary, evil/immoral or baseless thoughts of doubts, fears/worries, lust, greed, selfishness, hate, anger, jealousy, etc, is the devil - the result of Adam's Original Sin - GENESIS.3:14-19, ROMANS.5:12, JOHN.8:44, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8.

Learn to counter such involuntary evil thoughts from the devil with the Law/Word of God(MATTHEW.4:1-11) and/or just ignore them(= let the evil thoughts come and go). We should not entertain such thoughts and allow them to bear fruit into voluntary sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking against God, our neighbor/friend/family or ourselves, eg blasphemy, murder/suicide, adultery/AIDS, stealing, lying/cheating/ /being cheated, dishonor parents, social withdrawal, etc.
.

I think, like most of the Jews, Judas Iscariot did not accept Jesus as the Christ/Messiah/Saviour and so betrayed Him to the Jewish Temple authorities. The Jews wanted a Messiah/Christ who would defeat the Roman occupiers and give them back their kingdom of earth, ie Judah/Israel.(JOHN.6:15)
... Judas realized his grave mistake after the resurrection of Jesus Christ when Jesus appeared to the other apostles/disciples over 40 days except for him. Even doubting Thomas got a visit from Jesus.(JOHN.20:28) So, Judas knew for certain that he was bound for hell when he dies = he committed suicide.
... Did you betray Jesus Christ/God.? Do you know for certain that you are bound for hell when you die.?

I DONT KNOW!!! I’m scared that I did. I don’t know if I betrayed him. I feel like I did tho but I don’t know. I’m so evil on the inside I feel it swallowing me up. I wish I wasn’t bound to h**

 

[Oldmantook]

Um... Judas actually repented, but his act of suicide got the best of him.

Matthew 27:3 Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,

No, Judas did not repent as the Greek word for repent is metanoeō. In Matt 27:3, the Greek word used is metamelētheis from the root word metamelomai which means a change of mind, remorse, regret. This word is never used in the context of repentance as in the gospel message of repentance linked to one's salvation. When the word repent is used in connection with one's salvific status the Bible uses the word metanoeō instead. This word also means change of mind but it is more comprehensive in scope as it means to to change one’s way of life as the result of a complete change of thought and attitude
with regard to sin and righteousness. Metamelomai in contrast is more limited in scope meaning to change one’s mind about something, with the probable implication of regret. Thus Judas had a change of mind or regreted what he had done but he did not repent in terms of having a change of heart which involves a deeper, more life-changing transformation. Thus Judas' repentance was superficial only involving regret which is why he hung himself. His repentance did not involve a heart change which is what true repentance involves. I suggest you do a word study for yourself.

 

[Dave G.]

Before Judas betrayed Jesus, Jesus Himself said this was not going to go well for His betrayer, the one who would be turning Him in.. Guess what ? It didn't. But there was only one Judas.

I'd rather see Lostchild ( our OP) compare herself to Peter, who Jesus also said would betray Him that Peter deny Him before the night was out and who did deny Him but later was forgiven. Why is this different ? Because Peter was beating himself up over what he had done, like Lostchild is and because Peters actions did not send Jesus to the cross to die.. She can be forgiven as sure as I'm typing this. There is only one Judas but lots of Peters . Judas turned Jesus in, nobody is ever doing that again, even going out of his way to do so. Peter denied knowing Him, many do that to this day. Big difference there. Judas did it for some form of payment that lead to Jesus' crucifixion, Peter did it out of self preservation and did not like what he was doing and had immediate tears over his actions.. Big difference there too.

We today can not betray Jesus and send Him to the cross again and the OP did not do that either.. As I said , there is one Judas.

 

[Bluerose31]

im exactly like judas. And if my heart is as hardened like his I don’t know why I’m writing here. When I say I’m just like judas I mean it, I can almost feel myself going down the same path. And to be honest I’m just scared I’m so afraid and scared but judas was too. I don’t want to repent for some reason. Pls help. I’m so scared maybe this is a teenage thing that’ll pass. I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and sad anxiety and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to think f this anymore...

I am praying for you, that Jesus will heal you.

 

[Greg Merrill]

im exactly like judas. And if my heart is as hardened like his I don’t know why I’m writing here. When I say I’m just like judas I mean it, I can almost feel myself going down the same path. And to be honest I’m just scared I’m so afraid and scared but judas was too. I don’t want to repent for some reason. Pls help. I’m so scared maybe this is a teenage thing that’ll pass. I’m so scared, if I’m damned it’s my own fault but I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and sad anxiety and I’m going crazy. I don’t want to think f this anymore...

Father, I pray this teen will get into Your Word, and make that a daily habit, as they seek to find You and Your will, and Your power and strength to be applied in their life. May they grow in the knowledge and experience of You living in their life, if they are truly born again to start with. May they take in the Word as You say in 1 Peter 2:2. May Psalms 37:4 come to describe them as You lead them to a place of delighting in You, and You giving them the desires You want them to have, like repentance when needed. 2 Corinthians 7:10. May they acquire a taste (Psalms 34:8) for You, just as a taste for certain things people intake must be acquired. Amen.