Respect your elders, what does that look like?

[Saint Jared Bell]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me. I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you.

 

[SkyWriting]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me. I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you.

If you do what people older than you tell you to do you'll become wiser in the process.
The opposite will happen if you refuse. No matter if they are right or not, you will learn if you follow advice.

 

[Occams Barber]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me. I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you.

I'm an elder.

Elders are no more deserving of respect than any other people. Gaining age is not an achievement - it's an inevitable consequence of living.

Treat everyone with the respect they deserve as individuals.

OB

 

[Macchiato]

They're manipulating if they continue to do disrespctful stuff to you but demand you respect them. My dad is like this he'll say Im the father and use it as an excuse to treat my siblings and I any kind of way and expect us to bend bc his name is listed as our dad on our birth certificate.

No you dont have to take that.

You can either leave their presence or stand your ground. Neither is a sin.

 

[disciple Clint]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me. I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you.

Simple answer if you are treating your parents as you would like to be treated if you were in their position then you have done as God asked. Respect is simply treating people as they should be treated. You might want to reflect on the fact that parents typically sacrifice their desires in favor of trying to do they best they can for their children, children often do not see or appreciate what has been done for them because they expect parents to bless them.

 

[timewerx]

If you do what people older than you tell you to do you'll become wiser in the process.
The opposite will happen if you refuse. No matter if they are right or not, you will learn if you follow advice.

I maybe wiser for obeying the counsel of my law-abiding Christian parents BUT I ended up financially broke because of it.

I obeyed them in how I should run my life more than once **with great enthusiasm**. But still ended up badly. My less-risky plans on the other hand would have worked. I won't be rich nor impress anyone in alumni reunions but at least, I'll have enough.

So now, I don't think all elders are the same. You may have great luck with your elders but that doesn't mean everyone would have the same results.

In many poor communities, some parents force their kids to sell drugs or they let a man babysit their girls. What good can come out of it? Not every elder is in their right mind.

Discernment still rules before you follow someone's advice even if they are elders.

 

[Macchiato]

Simple answer if you are treating your parents as you would like to be treated if you were in their position then you have done as God asked. Respect is simply treating people as they should be treated. You might want to reflect on the fact that parents typically sacrifice their desires in favor of trying to do they best they can for their children, children often do not see or appreciate what has been done for them because they expect parents to bless them.

Not all parents are the same. You have good ones and then really abusive ones. Respect goes both ways and I feel if tour parents cant do that there's no problem in loving them from afar.

 

[The Narrow Way]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me. I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you.

Hi Jared, Respect is EARNED...it's not a GIVEN just because someone is older. It is true, those who are older, should be wiser, and should be able to be respected...but that isn't always the case.

And I think sometimes people say, "Respect your elders" when they really mean "OBEY your elders." You can RESPECT an elder, WITHOUT OBEYING them. I have lots of respect for my parents, but they are not always correct, (neither am I ) so I have to measure their advice to the Bible. If they are in harmony with the Word of God then I should obey them. If they are not in harmony, I should still be respectful of them, but not obey them.

 

[SkyWriting]

I maybe wiser for obeying the counsel of my law-abiding Christian parents BUT I ended up financially broke because of it. obeyed them in how I should run my life more than once **with great enthusiasm**. But still ended up badly. My less-risky plans on the other hand would have worked. I won't be rich nor impress anyone in alumni reunions but at least, I'll have enough. So now, I don't think all elders are the same. You may have great luck with your elders but that doesn't mean everyone would have the same results. In many poor communities, some parents force their kids to sell drugs or they let a man babysit their girls. What good can come out of it? Not every elder is in their right mind. Discernment still rules before you follow someone's advice even if they are elders.

There is nothing wrong with being broke. Nearly every single highly successful person has been bankrupt at least once. You can't learn financial lessons without having losses.

As for me I would never take advice from my Uncles. By taking advice from my Dad I've lost out on endless opportunities. But after leaving home, my advice is all my own and based on my own experiences.

And I never suggested you should take anyone's advice with enthusiasm. I said they were learning experiences. Selling drugs is a learning experience, for sure. All law breaking is.

SkyWriting said: ↑
If you do what people older than you tell you to do you'll become wiser in the process.
The opposite will happen if you refuse. No matter if they are right or not, you will learn if you follow advice.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

Hi I'm sitting here in bed and I'm not sure if this is where this question would go, but what does it look like to respect your elders ...

I listen to what they have to say quietly and politely.
I don't necessarily argue.
I don't assume people want to know what I think. They often don't. If they do, they probably ask, or at least don't get annoyed when I tell them haha

...and how exactly can I tell when it is just being used as something to get me to do whatever someone wants or it's being used to manipulate me....

When people are confusing their terms, if they are saying "respect" but they mean "obey" - they are manipulating you (or confused themselves).

...I've had this said to me a lot and I thought surely as frequently as this is said I'm not being disrespectful every single time and maybe it's more of a result of me causing conviction in the person. Please help. Thank you....

Are you one of the following??

• going around "convicting" everyone and they are saying in response "Respect your elders", or
• is everyone telling you what to think, believe and do, and when you don't go along with it they try and get you to do it by telling you "respect your elders".

;-)

I think you're right to be developing a decent concept of "respect".
What it is and what it isn't.
Get that clear in your head first.
When developing a concept - start with the golden rule??

 

[Saint Jared Bell]

Tonight I've been called a troublemaker and a brat because I asked what was expected of me to be done in the household. It leaves me questioning why God made me that way. I've noticed that I've made the statement that "so long as I just go along with everything and don't question it, then there would be no issue right?" And the response was yes.

 

[Saint Jared Bell]

It seems instead of my elders helping me they really just enjoy giving me orders and yelling at me when I try to get it right down to what I'm supposed to be doing no adding and subtracting. I am really struggling here.

 

[bèlla]

Parents are obligated to care for children. When you reach adulthood different rules apply. They don’t have to do anything. If you live at home and can’t afford to move out you have to exercise wisdom. Like it or not its their house.

You have to pick and choose your battles and keep the peace. If living apart is best work towards that end. They won’t conform to you. Sometimes you have to eat a little crow. Let it inspire to get yourself in gear.

If you live at home and don’t pay rent you’re dependent.
If you live at home and pay less than market rent you’re dependent.

Independence brings bargaining power you lack when you’re relying on others. You can’t expect the spoils of autonomy if they’re paying the bills.

~bella

 

[jayem]

I try to respect every person, regardless pf age. Until they demonstrate to me that they don't deserve respect.

 

[partinobodycular]

I try to respect every person, regardless pf age. Until they demonstrate to me that they don't deserve respect.

Ahhh, but anyone can do that. The really hard part is respecting people even when they don't deserve it. If I were to tell Jared anything, it's that submission is a very difficult lesson to learn, but Christ did it...even unto death. Love thine enemy is an easy commandment to preach, but a difficult one to practice.

 

[Saint Jared Bell]

Sounds like I need to ask for refining from Jesus Christ and to ask him for his wisdom.