Question about friends

[Zoleee]

Hi everyone.

I have a question for you, I need your advice. I have a friend, I know him and he is my friend for 18 years. (We are 21 years old now). He has little parties every Saturday at his house, and invites me every time. I used to go for a long time, but nowadays I don't go. I have to say I am not really comfortable with his friends, only 1-2 person, I am quiet there. But now he has new friends, and I really don't like their lifestyles. They are not mean, but they drink a lot, smoke and do mean things for fun. I was not there for months now. And my friends told me (He said he avoided this thing too) they even did, I am not familiar with these things but these legends about ghosts about doing this or that. I am really against this.

Now I ask you, what would you do? I know I have to love my neighbor as myself, but I don't like bad companies... Should I go there? Or avoid it or never go again? Thank you.

 

[yuppers]

Hmm I think something like this can go two different ways. I would say it's up to you to choose what's best. Yes it's good to stay away from people who smoke and drink. If you feel that could be a stumbling block in your life then you should be careful. You could tell your friend that you're not comfortable around his new friends and ask to hangout on other days. If your friend is understanding he should be ok with that. Let him know that you would rather do things that don't involve stuff like that.

Second option, if you have lots of self control you should go to his parties. If your ok with drinking maybe only have one or two beers but stand firm and only drink that amount. If your not ok with drinking just drink pop or water. You can still enjoy hanging out with your friend. Be prepared for people to maybe poke fun at you for not drinking (or drinking little). This is where you could say a simple comment of "I don't like to get drunk like that" or "sorry I have church in the morning". If you show self control in a the group you show that you're different then them. Someone might wonder and ask why and you could say because I'm a Christian.

Try praying over this. I don't think there's a more right then wrong answer here. Pray for your friend to, that he can come back to God more. Hope this helps a bit.

 

[insurchoftruth]

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

 

[Goodbook]

It doesnt sound like good company to keep.
And you not enjoying it.
I would not go.
As for the long time friend. You could plan something else for saturdays and ask him to go with you. Would he rather be with you or drinking. It does sound like hes on the road to being an alcoholic to be blunt.

 

[Joined2krist]

You shouldn't go there, until he starts keeping better friends. You can also try to make him give his life to Christ if he is still an unbeliever.

 

[Zoleee]

Thank you for the answers everyone.

Hmm I think something like this can go two different ways. I would say it's up to you to choose what's best. Yes it's good to stay away from people who smoke and drink. If you feel that could be a stumbling block in your life then you should be careful. You could tell your friend that you're not comfortable around his new friends and ask to hangout on other days. If your friend is understanding he should be ok with that. Let him know that you would rather do things that don't involve stuff like that.

Second option, if you have lots of self control you should go to his parties. If your ok with drinking maybe only have one or two beers but stand firm and only drink that amount. If your not ok with drinking just drink pop or water. You can still enjoy hanging out with your friend. Be prepared for people to maybe poke fun at you for not drinking (or drinking little). This is where you could say a simple comment of "I don't like to get drunk like that" or "sorry I have church in the morning". If you show self control in a the group you show that you're different then them. Someone might wonder and ask why and you could say because I'm a Christian.

Try praying over this. I don't think there's a more right then wrong answer here. Pray for your friend to, that he can come back to God more. Hope this helps a bit.

I'll think about this. Maybe I can show them Christ.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

I don't think they are unbelievers, or bad people. We never discussed faith, but they are not bad people. They drink and smoke, and do other bad things but I think their heart are not bad, they just need Christ.

It doesnt sound like good company to keep.
And you not enjoying it.
I would not go.
As for the long time friend. You could plan something else for saturdays and ask him to go with you. Would he rather be with you or drinking. It does sound like hes on the road to being an alcoholic to be blunt.

He doesn't drink a lot, it's only his friends. He does this parties for years, and I used to go a lot but I realized I don't enjoy the company, but I don't want to hurt him or his friends.

You shouldn't go there, until he starts keeping better friends. You can also try to make him give his life to Christ if he is still an unbeliever.

Thank God he is not an unbeliever, I know he believes in God, but not really acting like a Christian.


I'll pray about this and ask God to command me.

It's New Year's Eve. They invited me, I said I'll go after midnight but I'm still unsure about this. Maybe I'll stay home.

 

[Zoleee]

I didn't go to his New Year's Eve party and I thought he will be angry but he was sad and he said it was not good that his "oldest" friend didn't go and he thinks we started to lose our close friendship.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't go to his parties, but now I don't know. I don't really want to lose his friendship.

 

[KimT]

First, I would pray for him and his other friends. Second, I would try to get him to do something with you....invite him over and tell him how you feel in a non-judgmental way. Third, make sure you have plenty of strong Christian friends to socialize with and, maybe, introduce him to some of them. God bless you.

 

[BFine]

Proverbs 12:26
"The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray."

 

[Goodbook]

I think that just because someone is an old friend doesnt mean they cant respect that you have you reasons for not going. He cant be just friends with you if the only thing you do together is go to parties.

 

[faroukfarouk]

To the OP, the Philippians 4.13 header verse contains the answer in a nutshell. We can choose our friends, but if we are resolved to follow the Lord He can graciously strengthen us and guide us day by day.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Hi everyone.

I have a question for you, I need your advice. I have a friend, I know him and he is my friend for 18 years. (We are 21 years old now). He has little parties every Saturday at his house, and invites me every time. I used to go for a long time, but nowadays I don't go. I have to say I am not really comfortable with his friends, only 1-2 person, I am quiet there. But now he has new friends, and I really don't like their lifestyles. They are not mean, but they drink a lot, smoke and do mean things for fun. I was not there for months now. And my friends told me (He said he avoided this thing too) they even did, I am not familiar with these things but these legends about ghosts about doing this or that. I am really against this.

Now I ask you, what would you do? I know I have to love my neighbor as myself, but I don't like bad companies... Should I go there? Or avoid it or never go again? Thank you.

Is there a reason why you can't be truthful with your friend of 18 years?

 

[Hospes]

Is there a reason why you can't be truthful with your friend of 18 years?

My question, also. Seems to me friendship is founded on trust, honesty, and authenticity. Even after 18 years, seems some of this is missing in this friendship.

 

[quietpraiyze]

My question, also. Seems to me friendship is founded on trust, honesty, and authenticity. Even after 18 years, seems some of this is missing in this friendship.

Exactly...This is what I was thinking too.