Pushing myself...

[rowantree]

You don't have to apologise Court. I would be on a downer too. Probably would never have even started to cope as well as you have done.

Kids can't half try your patience can they, even though you love them to bits. You are only human, and a struggling one right now, with your own problems. You really are coping with so much. You are actually doing amazingly even though maybe you don't feel that.

I'm sorry that your husband is not able to spend any time with Andrew tonight. That's tough.

Court, don't feel bad about how you feel at the moment - you are not superhuman and aren't expected to be. I pray that you both get some sleep tonight. Coughs are just horrible and it is so hard to sleep when you have a real bad one.

Still praying, still caring, and understanding where you are coming from. This will pass, Court - it seems to be going on forever - but it will pass. You have us for as long as this lasts - vent all you like. We don't mind. Take as much care of yourself as you can, and I am praying that Andrew settles down, and that you can get a bit of peace.

God bless you Court. He loves you. xx

 

[Criada]

Oh Court, I'm sorry - that's the last thing you need at the moment! Praying that both of you are feeling better very, very soon.
Kids do tend to misbehave when they're feeling ill - and when you're feeling it yourself too it feels that much worse.
Don't beat yourself up over the way you feel, sweetie - you're allowed to feel down, sweetie, it's natural when so much is going on. God's still there, He won't let go, and you will get through and know joy again.
Hang in there sister, you are doing great, and you are covered by a lot of prayer.

 

[TomCS]

Sorry to be such a downer. Andrew has just driven me absolutely crazy this morning. He was a rascal at the pharmacy and kept running away from me and pulling things off the shelves, etc. At home he is just being defiant and making one mess after another. I know he's not feeling well so I am trying to be patient, but it's hard. Neither of us slept well (coughing). I just want him to feel better and to be happy. On top of it my husband works really late tonight so we won't even get to see him for a short time.

Your love, prayers and empathy are precious to me. Thank you!

 

[BlondieLashes]

Thanks you guys. Your support and prayers mean a lot. I just heard from my husband that his mother is flying out to stay with us for 5 days starting a week from today. I knew she was coming in October, I just didn't realize so soon. When I told him it's really not a good time he said she will lose lots of money on flights and reservations if she changes...so I guess we're stuck. She is elderly so it will be one more person to care for...not one more person to help with Andrew.

I am off to start the night shift....dinner, bath and bed-time...

 

[rowantree]

(((((((((((((Court))))))))))))))))

I don't know what to say. Just feeling for you.

Please Lord, enter into this situation somehow and help Court in her own needs. Lord, please take over here. Thankyou. Amen

 

[Criada]

Oh sweetie - not another person to look after!
Praying that you will be able to find some time for you in the middle of it all.
Maybe your mil can help by rwading stories and playing board games etc with Andrew - often the elderly and the very young enjoy one another's company...

 

[rowantree]

Court, I can relate in some ways because I know what it is like to have one person to look after who needs a lot of attention, and then to suddenly have another one who is in need as well. It is really hard. I can relate to the having to run around looking after everybody. And not having time for yourself when you so badly need it, and to being very depressed at the same time and feeling you just don't know how to go on and do it all.

I can't offer any suggestions, but I do agree with Criada that so often the elderly and the young get on very well together. Does your MIL fit in well with your family, or is she a problem herself?

Whatever, I pray that you get through this, and that you can find the strength that you need to deal with all of this.

Court, when all this is over and you are all sorted out with your meds, you will be able to look back on it and know that you did it - however difficult and painful it was, you did it. And you can know that you were such a strong person.

I know you will get through Court. Not saying it is easy for you, and I sure know it is not. But I just have this feeling that you will get through.

Praying for sleep for you tonight. Take one day at a time - which I think you are doing anyway. In fact it might be a case of taking one hour or one minute at a time. Whatever - do whatever you have to do to get through. I know you can do it.

Sending love and hugs for you, and for Andrew. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

Thanks you guys. rowantree- I am so sorry you can relate. It's really tough. I will keep praying for you too. We can get through this together.

My MIL is a self-proclaimed "psychic" and is heavily into the occult. She is in her 80's and comes from strong Jewish roots - she just went her "own way". I don't want the evil energy in my home esp. when we are sick and down. Prayers are greatly needed and appreciated. I am really starting to think this is all an attack from the enemy but I KNOW God is greater! I need to lean heavily on HIM to get through this.

Andrew is home from school again today. Hubby is stressed and angry and working insane hours. I am sick.

One hour at a time, right?

 

[rowantree]

Court, I did think about this possibly being an attack from the enemy. So much seems to be happening when you are very vulnerable, and I kind of felt it might be that. We will pray against it.

I am sorry to hear that you are sick. I presume it is the same as what Andrew has had? When it comes it comes in bucketloads doesn't it?

I will pray for you to get better quickly. And for Andrew to recover his strength and for him to be settled and more peaceful within himself.

I am really sorry to hear about your MIL. Oh wow! That just kind of points to this being the enemy. I can understand why you would not want that evil energy in your home.

I understand what you are talking about because I have to look after my mother a lot, and although she is not psychic or anything, she does stick pins in dolls, and she does curse God and she does sometimes say that praying to God has done her no good so she will pray to the other one. So I know what you are talking about. I hate her being around us sometimes because of this evil energy.

We will pray for you still Court and yes, God is stronger. As you say, lean on Him and you will be O.K. You have come through so much in your life already and I am lost in admiration for you. I have read your story, and it is amazing that you are where you are now. You have been brought through so much by God's amazing grace.

We will still be here for you. We are not going away.

Take care, and I pray for you to feel better soon.

God bless you Court. You will be O.K. xx

 

[Criada]

Praying, Court.
You have so much to cope with, and you are doing amazingly well! You should be very proud of yourself
You are going to get through this trial, and look back and see how strong you were. Hang in there, sweetie, we're here for you.

 

[BlondieLashes]

Thanks to both of you for the encouragement. I know this is a spiritual war. I feel it. That harassing message I received the other day confirms it...and our illness and my "psychic" MIL coming to visit, etc. I really appreciate those of you holding us up in prayer. It is so needed.

 

[rowantree]

Don't worry Court. We sure will be holding you up in prayer. Understand about the spiritual war. But Jesus will win. xx

 

[rowantree]

Court, I have been thinking a lot about what you have said, and about this attack by the enemy. As I was thinking, and holding you in prayer, this hymn came to my mind. It is a very old one and we used to sing it a lot when I was much younger (ahem!)

I am passing the words on to you. I think what I want to say is that you have come through so much in your life and you have been amazing, and so so strong. I want to say that He has brought you through everything, and He is not going to let you down now. Hope you like the words of the hymn. It was the Refrain that kind of leapt into my mind when I was thinking of you and praying for you. I do hope it helps a little bit.


I know not why God’s wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.

Refrain
But I know Whom I have believèd,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.

I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His Word
Wrought peace within my heart.
Refrain

I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing us of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.
Refrain

I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face

 

[BlondieLashes]

rowantree- That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing and thank you for praying!

 

[rowantree]

Hi Court. How ya doing? Thanks for your nice words to me both in this thread and in my prayer reqeust.

Hope that you are having a better day and that Andrew is getting better. Will be praying about your MILs visit. Let us know how it is going when you can. We are still here for you. God bless you precious sister. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

You are such a sweetheart rowantree! I am praying for you.

I am very sick today. Went to a clinic and got antibiotics and a cough suppressant (that isn't working)...running a fever...Andrew seems to be feeling just good enough to have enough energy to get into things, but he is still coughing.

Thanks for checking on us

 

[rowantree]

Thanks for letting us know Court. I am so sorry that you are really sick now, too. I pray that the antibiotics work. When does your MIL come? Who could have believed that all this could happen to you when you had to come off your meds? I am just so sorry. Still thinking, with you, that this is the enemy. So will pray accordingly. Will also pray for healing for both you and Andrew.

Stay in touch with us as and when you can. How is the depression? I think I would have gone totally bonkers by now if I had been you. You are amazing Court. God bless you and lots of love to you. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

Thanks for the prayers rowantree! My MIL comes in on Thursday afternoon. She will stay for 5 days...

No kidding about all this happening after I came of of my meds! I really believe this is the enemy. He never fights fair but God always wins!

The depression is still there. I had to laugh about going totally bonkers! I think I would have if it weren't for Andrew. He grounds me. I know I have to be a rock for him. I went through childhood with a very unstable (mentally) father and he was so self-absorbed. I never want to be that. I want Andrew to come first and will do anything to make that happen.

Lots of love to you too rowantree! You are a very good friend and you have my prayers as well!

 

[rowantree]

Thanks so much Court. Thanks for your prayers for us too. I know just what you mean about wanting everything to be right for Andrew, after coming through an abusive childhood yourself. I did too, and felt exactly the same way only I never had kids in the end. I only know that if I had had kids I would have given them all the love in the world - knowing what it was like to not be loved.

I can see how Andrew grounds you and that if it had not been for him you maybe would have gone bonkers LOL. I think I am the same - because I have people and animals to care for it stops me going bonkers when really I am bonkers (if you see what I mean LOL)

Yeah, this sure has the marks of the enemy. Will be praying very especially concerning the evil energy that your MIL will bring into your home. My mother does the same to our home. It's horrible isn't it.

You're right Court - God always does win. Doesn't take the pain out of the bad times, but I guess knowing that does help a bit. As long as we can work with Him and allow Him to do His work. You are a very strong woman. I know that you will come through this.

Will go on praying and watching out for you. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

Okay- Now I'm a bit angry. My son woke me at 5:30. I let my husband sleep 'til 8:00 because I know he's been working hard. He gets up, has a cup of coffee, does not even ask how I'm doing (as I am coughing my head off and running a fever) and says he's going back to bed because he "didn't sleep well". Must be nice!