Pushing myself...

[Pilgrim1951]

praying for you all, Courtney.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry it's all piling up on you, Court - you must be so exhausted!!

Whatever your MIL says, her crystals and suchlike have no power against Jesus and His people - He is strong to protect, and he won't let any harm come to you or your household through that kind of thing

Praying that Andrew has a good time at school tomorrow and it puts his fears to rest. It is hard for sensitive children at times - but that sensitivity is a wonderful gift, and I'm sure he will be a great blessing to many

Praying, praying, praying...

 

[rowantree]

Hi again Court. Criada is so right - it is so hard for sensitive children, but this sensitivity can indeed be a wonderful gift. Also, there is NOTHING in this world, or anywhere else for that matter, that can separate us from the love of God. Not even the crystals. Not even the energy that comes from the person who pushes the crystals. In Romans 8 we are assured utterly that there is nothing in this world that can separate us from the love of God, and I think that is a wonderful promise and assurance to us. All will be well, Court, but I know it feel so hard to deal with at this time. It will be O.K. Still praying. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

You both are so right about it being hard for sensitive children at times...It was difficult to get Andrew going to school this morning. He kept saying he didn't feel safe. He was afraid he was going to have another substitute. We got there and he saw his teacher and his face lit up. I am praying for him to have a great day! He is always telling me, Mommy, I just have a sensitive heart!"

You are also right about the crystals having no power over us. It is just irritating that she keeps pushing it. I have to let it go.

Hubby sick in bed with fever. Which means I get to do all the entertaining and cooking, etc. today (MIL leaves tomorrow...).

 

[Criada]

Glad she leaves soon, sweetie - well done for getting through it!!
I'm glad Andrew was happy to see his teacher - praying that he has a great day.
Praying for you, Court

 

[rowantree]

Awww, Court. What a sweet little boy you have there. I bet he is going to grow up so kind and loving. Awww.

I too am so pleased that MIL days are soon to be over. I don't know how you have managed, but to think you have gotten through all of this, since you came off your meds - WOW, WOW, WOW. What a strong woman you are. I know you may not have felt it at times - but you truly are. You are amazing.

I am so pleased that Andrew's face lit up when he saw his teacher - oh what a beautiful and lovely picture I have in my head of that. I pray that Andrew always is safe and always is protected.

I would get sick of the crystals too. I get sick of my mother telling me she is sticking pins in dolls! I know it can do no good against the power of Christ, but it still gets to me a lot. So I know how you feel. It kind of leaves a nasty taste in the mouth even though you know it cannot harm you.

Well, not long now Court - and you will have your home to yourself again, and I pray that hubby gets better soon as well. You had had such a rotten time but it will soon all be over and praying that you can have time for yourself. God bless you Court. You are wonderful.

 

[BlondieLashes]

Yes, Andrew is the sweetest boy I've ever met! I pray that he will grow up kind and loving!

Yes, MIL days are over. Hubby is with her at the airport right now. Thanks for saying that I am strong. Sometimes I feel like falling to pieces but can't because of Andrew.

I am so sorry about your Mom and the pin sticking! Where do these women come up with things like that??!!

Hubby is feeling better today!

I am really concerned though. Last night Andrew told me that his friend at school touched his private parts and asked him not to tell the teacher. Andrew didn't tell because he was afraid of losing his friend. I told him that he has to tell his teacher and of course told Andrew that he did nothing wrong and that no one should ever touch him there. I will see his teacher when I volunteer today and will talk to her about it then. Praying for Andrew. I am very angry and concerned.

 

[rowantree]

Thank goodness MIL has gone ! I can feel the relief in your posting Court. I think I would be feeling the same. I am so glad that hubby is better now and was able to take her to the airport.

I am very concerned to read about Andrew and the touching of his private parts. Oh dear. I would be angry too. I am so sorry about this Court. It does not seem to stop does it? It seems to be one thing after another for you just lately. I will pray for Andrew and also for this situation. I pray that you can speak to his teacher and that she responds in the right way. I also pray that Andrew can see that this is wrong and is not willing to allow it to happen because he does not want to lose a friend.

I know what you mean about feeling as if you are falling apart, whilst people are saying you are strong. I often feel just that way myself - totally falling to pieces and then someone tells me I am strong !!!! It is strange isn't it. We cannot see this ourselves. BUT, you have got through all of this Court. I know it was painful and all, but you did it. I do pray that now, you can get this thing sorted out with Andrew, and get into happier, more peaceful times.

I saw that you like to do Fitness stuff like weight lifting etc. Was it weight lifting and boxing? Something like that anyway. Praying for you that you can get back to that real soon as I know you love to do it. When is your endoscopy? Let us know and also let us know how it goes. I pray that there is nothing too wrong. Sorry about the bad stomachs though. I pray they get to the bottom of it and that something can be done that is fairly simple and effective.

Still praying for you Court, and watching out for your posting. God bless you and take care. Lots of love to you - hugs too. xx

 

[Criada]

Yay - you got through the MIL days Well done, sweetie. I'm glad that your hubby is feeling better too.

It's good that you are able to talk to Andrew's teacher - that kind of curiousity is very common among young children, but the fact that his friend asked him not to tell is worrying - it sounds as though he may have experienced something inappropriate.
Praying that Andrew isn't upset by this, and that his friend is safe!

 

[BlondieLashes]

I'm in tears right now. I don't know if it's the feeling of being so overwhelmed or what is going on. I just don't feel "right".

I am praying for Andrew today...that God will keep him safe in every possible way and that he will have a good (fabulous) day at school. He spoke to the school counselor yesterday after I spoke to his teacher about the other boy touching his private parts and I am fairly confident in the way they handled it. He is to go straight to the teacher if the boy tries again and I think he really understands that it is important to do so. I am just really grateful that he told me so we could get it handled.

 

[Woven]

Still praying for you

 

[paul becke]

Andrew's telling you early was a blessing, wasn't it, Court, because what adds a more scary dimension is that young children can be so cunning, even predatory.

While you wouldn't want to make too much of it at that age, in general, it's difficult to avoid the suspicion that the other lad might have seen Andrew as an easy mark; a wee outsider, who longed for friendship, and likely to be more easily manipulated.

 

[rowantree]

(((((((((((Court)))))))))))))

I am so sorry to hear that you are in tears. I can understand that though. You have had so much over the last days since you came off your meds. You have been amazingly strong, and it is as if the bubble has just burst, and I think that maybe it is because this problem with Andrew's friend keys into so much that you have gone through yourself. You love Andrew so much, and it just makes your heart bleed. I understand that, and I am sure everyone does, too.

I am just so sorry, but at least this is being nipped in the bud, as we say over here. It is not just being left, and something is being done.

I wish I could be there in person with you Court, to put my arm around you. I hate to think of anyone in tears and I know that you truly have had enough. I don't know why you are not feeling 'right' but really, so much has gone on and you have been under so much stress. I think I would not be feeling 'right' either.

I am praying right now for God to help you and comfort you, to strengthen, sustain and guide you. I am praying for Andrew, that he be protected especially regarding his 'friend.' I am praying for his 'friend' that he cease to do anything like this ever again.

I just pray for your whole little family Court - your husband too - that you all be protected and looked after.

Sending you much love, many hugs, and praying for a warm blanket of love to be wrapped around you. xx

 

[BlondieLashes]

Thank each of you so much for your prayers and for writing to me. You are a blessing.

Yes, Paul I fear that this little boy saw Andrew as an "easy mark" and it scares me to death.

rowantree- I think you are right also that Andrew's problem with the little boy just hit a little too close to home for me. I too wish you were here in person!

I dropped Andrew off at school and he was really hesitant to leave me. He kept waving to me and blowing me kisses as I walked away saying, "Don't forget to come get me after school!" (As if!) I reassured him that I would never forget to come get him. It just breaks my heart that he feels so alone at school. It makes it really hard to leave him.

Then, in my current state of mind I went to the bank on the way home. I actually pulled into the wrong bank and pulled up to their drive through window and tried to deposit a check. The teller just looked at me funny and said, "honey, you are at the wrong bank." I couldn't believe that I am on such "auto pilot that I didn't even realize where I was driving!

My love to each of you. Off to the store (if I can find it!)

 

[paul becke]

I suspect that what you are feeling, when you say you are 'not feeling right', are the negative, psychic 'vibes' generated by people who wish us ill; the obverse of the way in which our spirits are lifted when we people are praying for us.

The truth, of course, is that it's the person's problem not yours, and while not immediately dispelling that uncomfortable feeling, the knowledge of the reality should reassure you on a fundamental level.

The facts are exactly as rowantree stated, you've been through an extended ordeal. Over and above the ones you live with ordinarily, and you've coped with it all, in a way that a canonised saint could not have improved upon.

As for the raw emotions, they build up until the dam bursts, ideally, as in your case, after the tasks have been accomplished - we all have our breaking point. But horribly unwelcome though it was, how providential that this 'last straw' with young Andrew came after you'd finished juggling with all those previous trials.

 

[rowantree]

Wow, I couldn't agree more, with what Paul has said. EXACTLY! We keep on going, knowing certain things HAVE to be done and got through. We pull out all of the stops - we WANT to be brave and to get them done, and not to fail in any way. I am speaking of myself too here, so if this is not true of you Court, just ignore it. But then, once at least SOME of the danger is over, (ie MIL has gone, hubby is well again, you are feeling much better physically, and Andrew is better too) you kind of 'relax' somewhat. You are no longer having to push yourself quite so much. Maybe you even heave a sigh of relief, such as when MIL went, and you think you can get back to normal (not forgetting of course that you are still coming off meds) and then WHAM, BANG, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water - THIS happens, with Andrew. And the worst of it is, it keys into so much that has happened for you in your past, and all your buttons are pushed. I totally understand - I too am the same, if anything like that is touched upon.

Also, you have developed your own way of going on, Court - your own way of coping. That all went to pot for a while, and you were already challenged by the coming off the meds. There is no wonder at all that you feel like this. I think I would be a basket case by now if I was you. Paul is right, you could not have done any better even were you a canonised saint! In fact, I think you SHOULD be declared a saint, so I hereby declare you one LOL.

Oh dear about the bank - but do you know what - I have done exactly the same thing. I know how it makes you feel - but seriously, we all do things like that when under extreme pressure.

I think also, that all during this time, you have not really had time for yourself - no 'me' time. I too am hopeless if I can't get just a little tiny bit of 'me' time. I pray for you that you can get some now, Court. I pray that you can find time to rest a bit, have a bit of a break, get back to doing something you like doing (not sure if the fitness stuff would be ok now if you have this bad stomach and sickness problem).

Anyway, that is just my two pennyworth (as we say over here LOL). Don't be hard on yourself Court.

We will go on being here for you, and praying for you and your family as you meet new challenges (your endoscopy and stomach problems being one of them and this problem with Andrew's friend and his worry now, about school, being another one). We are still here for you. We are with you in all of this right until you feel a lot better again - and beyond that if you want us to be - just as friends. God bless you Court. xx

 

[Criada]

((((((((((((((Court))))))))))))))))))
I agree with Paul and Rowan - when the pressure gets a little less is so often the time we feel as though we are losing it.
But you're not, sweetie - you are still doing brilliantly, and you've handled this issue with Andrew so well. He is such a lucky little boy to have a mother who understands and supports him so well!

Praying for you and yours, sister.

 

[BlondieLashes]

I love you guys. Thanks for caring. Just got home from getting Andrew at school and I am attempting to piece together a dinner. I'm just exhausted and sad. Really sad.

As far as my endoscopy goes, they want to do it Oct. 29th, but I have no way of getting there that day (my sister will be out of town and hubby has to work) so I will have to re-schedule. It is hard to find a time/day where someone can take me. I also have to plan it as to where hubby can pick Andrew up from school.

rowantree- I would love to get back into doing fitness competitions. I just have to get through this stomach thing and I also have to break through this depression. Right now nothing interests me like it used to. I feel so hopeless at times.

 

[paul becke]

It's called 'being worn out', Court. What you need, though Andrew, I suspect, looms too large in your concerns and worries for you to contemplate it, is called 'respite' in this country and Oz. Time off to unwind and relax a little, with other people taking over your responsibilities.

As regards Andrew's schooling, since he is so bright, I suspect it is his socialising you are most concerned not to interrupt. Would it not be possible for you two to take a weekend off - a short holiday somewhere. Not that you'd get much peace I expect! Does Jonathon work weekends?

 

[rowantree]

((((((((((((Court)))))))))))))

I agree with Paul that really, you need a break. I too don't know how you can get one. As Paul has asked - is there any possibility of you all getting away for a weekend? Or even just one night? Time to just try and relax a little bit. Although I know sometimes when you are feeling as you are feeling, home is the only place you want to be. It may be the only place you feel safe and able to cope with.

I am sorry to hear about the problems re the endoscopy. I will pray for you that somehow, this will work out and you can get there soon. It must be awful to feel sick all of the time.

I understand your deep sadness. You do not want anything even approaching what you have gone through to be done to Andrew. I so understand that. Your love for him is so great, and he is so precious to you, and for you to have to think that another boy did something to him is almost unthinkable. I know that you want to protect him at all costs. It may be that this is the real source of your deep sadness - and maybe this experience is touching upon the sadness you feel about your own horrible experiences in life. If I am wrong, just ignore that Court. I am only making tentative suggestions, not stating anything as a definite if you see what I mean (I hate people doing that to me, so would not do it to anyone else !)

I am praying for you about this sadness and exhaustion. I am praying for you about everything Court.

Just want to send love to you. xx