Pursuing a Man vs. Waiting to be Pursued

[redblue22]

loveIntell, cool. if you think about how to ski while going downhill, your face will be in the snow.

 

[Amber.ly]

Its not about a man not "being a real man", its really about the girl not being a boring potato.

As opposed to a lively potato?

Give a guy the option of going out on a limb and facing rejection or playing xbox while girls deliver cookies, and I don't think it's a competition. I don't even play xbox but I choose the latter.

Totally laughing out loud over here. Love this.

If you give a mouse a cookie... and all that jazz

 

[Maryland Girl]

Look, here's my reality. If I pursue a guy and get him, I'm going to be wondering for a REALLY LONG TIME if he ACTUALLY is interested in me, or he just wanted a girl and I was there. I mean really. Give a guy the option of going out on a limb and facing rejection or playing xbox while girls deliver cookies, and I don't think it's a competition. I don't even play xbox but I choose the latter.

I know some guys who have had nothing but trails of women pursue them and seek them out, and you know what has happened? They DESTROY HEARTS. Seriously. They flirt and lead girls on and date for like two months at a time. Because once it starts getting stale or boring, they have absolutely nothing invested because it just kinda showed up and presented itself to them.

 

[MacFall]

Look, here's my reality. If I pursue a guy and get him, I'm going to be wondering for a REALLY LONG TIME if he ACTUALLY is interested in me, or he just wanted a girl and I was there.

Funny thing—I'd wonder exactly the same thing if I pursued a girl and "got" her.

How about this. Forget about "pursuit". If there's mutual interest we meet face to face on level ground with nobody acting coy. If there isn't mutual interest, then we are honest about it, and nobody has to chase anyone down to figure it out. I swear all this crap could be so easily avoided if people hadn't imbibed the player culture's attitude that you shouldn't date your friends. If you have a good friendship with someone (which includes openness and honesty) then you'll come to know the intentions of the other person and the whole notion of pursuit with its attendant rituals and plumage will seem very silly.

 

[Maryland Girl]

It seems that what happens now is a lot of people, afraid of getting their feelings hurt, waiting for the other gender to make the first move to spare them embarrassment, leading to very little happening among singles. I think maybe we ought to start making use of go-betweens, as a buffer.

 

[Strider1002]

It seems like every time I've just come out and told a girl I liked her, she's gotten all uncomfortable or run away. So, I have no incentive to be forward any more

 

[MacFall]

It seems like every time I've just come out and told a girl I liked her, she's gotten all uncomfortable or run away.

Same here. Or even told me off.

So, I have no incentive to be forward any more

At least, for me, the incentive doesn't outweigh the cost.

 

[Going Merry]

It seems like every time I've just come out and told a girl I liked her, she's gotten all uncomfortable or run away. So, I have no incentive to be forward any more

True, I'd prolly ignore you lol

 

[Strider1002]

True, I'd prolly ignore you lol

I figured out that much myself.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

It takes two to make a special connection.

 

[pressingon17]

^ hahahaha. I'm sure a gal would love the fact I don't play video games at all. Haha

 

[Strider1002]

^ hahahaha. I'm sure a gal would love the fact I don't play video games at all. Haha

Eh, I don't think it's really about video games. It's about taking time away from your hobbies to spend with your loved ones.

 

[Spunkn]

Eh, I don't think it's really about video games. It's about taking time away from your hobbies to spend with your loved ones.

Duuuuuuude! Forget real people. Princess Peach MUST be saved! Are you crazy?!?!?

 

[MacFall]

I can think of several women with whom I'd rather have a conversation than play video games. Is it really all that uncommon?

 

[Strider1002]

Duuuuuuude! Forget real people. Princess Peach MUST be saved! Are you crazy?!?!?

But... she's in another castle! And it's late, and I'm tired.

 

[pressingon17]

My best friend has a wife and daughter and when he gets home from work spends more time on Black Ops 2 than with his family. Sickens me.

 

[anewday]

Eh, I don't think it's really about video games. It's about taking time away from your hobbies to spend with your loved ones.

This . I have hobbies, but if I would rather spend time with somebody than take time for hobbies, consider yourself special .

 

[Miss Spaulding]

^ hahahaha. I'm sure a gal would love the fact I don't play video games at all. Haha

Yep. I'm one of those gals.

 

[pressingon17]

Yep. I'm one of those gals.

I don't like Black Ops or Call of duty or anything because I think it's stupid and unrealistic, I lived it. I know what's it like to put the uniform on everyday and I know the real way to fight.I know how the Army operates.

And after seeing video and pictures from some of my battle buddies of actually combat, killing for "fun" messes with my head.

 

[Amber.ly]

It seems like every time I've just come out and told a girl I liked her, she's gotten all uncomfortable or run away. So, I have no incentive to be forward any more

Same here. Or even told me off.



At least, for me, the incentive doesn't outweigh the cost.

Psshh, you two need to go old school if you're truly scared of rejection.

Get a friend to find out from the girl directly or one of the girl's friends if she likes you back. Not as simple as just doing it yourself but much less painful as far as the jitters and nerves go