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Problems at University

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by Heartofsilver, Jul 16, 2017.

  1. Heartofsilver

    Heartofsilver Bride of Christ 4/8/17 Isaiah 54:5 Supporter

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    Hello everyone,

    I have a few disorders that effect my daily life and anxiety is one of them. I also have ADHD and OCD, I take natural supplements for them, since I felt God Calling me off of Pharmaceuticals from various sources even directly from Him of the mind. I was also having bad side effects from them as an adult, when they didn't effect me the same way as a kid.

    So, I'm going to a Christian university and I have let them know by documentation that I have disabilities. My first semester I was having severe social anxiety, because I was being attacked by the devil attacking my mind with a fear that I wouldn't make any friends simply because I dress differently and that everyone would reject me for it. Though I did get brutally rejected by some, God did bless me with friends on campus and helping me to pass all of my classes. The second semester I had academic anxiety due to my academic advisor not believing me when I told her I have disabilities and can't handle the load that she gave me. She made me feel very forced into taking sixteen units worth of classes. She told me that anyone can tell her that they have disabilities and so did another department that they tried sending me over to, to help me. I went over to one of my disability counslers which I feel that I should only have one, since they are not on the same page with things at times and it makes things unorganized, but it seems that only one of them is available at a time. I tried talking to one of them, we can call him A, since he was the only one available that day. I told him that they are making me take too many units. He acted like he was in a hurry or too busy and told me that I have to take the classes that my academic advisor has given me and walked off. I tried takingthe classes this past semester and I was so overwhelmed, I was paralyzed on some days barely able to move, curled up on my couch. There was so much work to do and I had never been given so many units before. I was terrified, I saw A again and told him that I needed to drop a class, because it was just too much. I told him that I had sixteen units and that I couldn't handle it. He acted shocked when I told him that I was taking sixteen units. I also told him that I tried telling him this before. I ended up talking to the other disability counsler we will call J. I told her what had happened with my academic advisor, the other department, and A. She told me that A must have been busy and that is why he didn't take the time to listen. She said that the reason that the other departments didn't listen to me was, because I didn't give them my accommodations letter showing them that I have disabilities. I didn't know that I had to show them that until she told me, I thought that my accomadtion letters were for instructors only, but I wasn't told about what to do with departments within the school. I told her what happened with my academic advisor and she typed an email to her letting her know that I do have disabilities and that I can take no more than twelve units for the coming semesters. J also told me that I can have her present at my next academic advising appointments. By the time I had dropped a class for that semester, it was too late. Though I was able to get some work done, there was now a huge pile of work that I had to do in my other classes that I tried chipping away at throughout the semester. I still suffered from severe anxiety with how behind I was, also with how much work I had to do. I couldn't get through the whole pile of work and as I chipped away at it, more work would come up. I had also missed too many days of Chapel which is required by the school, but I was either too busy to go due to the giant pile of work that I was chipping away at that just kept regrowing with more work or too anxious to even do anything. Since, I had missed too many the Student Life office told me that I had to pay a fine and do four essays for all the sessions that I had missed. I broke down crying and told them my situation. They waved the essays, but still made me pay the fine. Since, J told me about giving them my accommodation letter I did so. I also typed up a letter to the student life office which included the campus pastor explaining what happened. Student Life told me that this coming semester that I can come in and talk to them, so that we can cut my Chapel time in half, so that I can have more time to concentrate on my work. I got very sick the last two weeks of school which included my finals week. I only left my bed to take the finals which I was barely able to get through and I failed about half of my classes. I also meant to go over my volunteering time which is also required by the school, but I was too sick to go over the packet with them, so I didn't get any credit for the time that I did with a parachurch organization. I'm now being fined $100 and am being put on academic probation. I have now sent an email to A and J letting them know that my dad, who is paying for my schooling, and I would like to have a meeting with them to get clarity amongst other things.
     
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  2. HereIStand

    HereIStand Regular Member Supporter

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    Sounds like a difficult situation. Perhaps things might improve if you went to school locally or online (living at home), instead of away from home. That would free you up to devote more time to studies. God Bless.
     
  3. Bluerose31

    Bluerose31 Christian Flower Supporter

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    praying for you
     
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  4. Heartofsilver

    Heartofsilver Bride of Christ 4/8/17 Isaiah 54:5 Supporter

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    Well, I felt called by God to go to this school and to go into Youth ministry. I'm pursuing Jesus, His Calling, and He is opening doors as well as bearing fruit through the opportunities that He is giving me. As for living at home, I don't currently live on campus or at my parent's, but I live near the campus. My mom has mental issues, possibly Borderline personality disorder and is abusive. Both of my parents are overly controlling to the whole family, including my dad to my mom. One of the reasons I moved out was, because I knew I wouldn't be able to go to college and live with my parents at the same time if I wanted to be successful. I needed a less stressful environment. Also, as for online I think that due to my disabilities taking online classes would be more difficult, because I may not be as engaged, plus those classes go by faster than the traditional ones and I need plenty of time to get through them. Also, I think that some of my classes are not online due to Youth ministry being full of activities and this school being about unity.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2017
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  5. ForsakenGirl

    ForsakenGirl Member

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    Everything would be alright.
    don't worry.
    Praying :crossrc:
     
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  6. HereIStand

    HereIStand Regular Member Supporter

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    Youth ministry is a great thing, and badly needed. Maybe try a reduced credit hour load in the fall.
     
  7. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    I am so sorry that you had to go through all this to have to resolve it yourself

    I'm praying that all will come to a fair solution in this terrible forced and stressful "learning" experience

    If you have a doctor and/or specialitst(s) at home who have worked with you and know
    your situation, I would advise that you talk with them and ask that they write a medical letter as backup of your disability and have your father have it on hand when you meet with the college counselors

    Your father might also want to reach out to your HS advisors/guidance/special ed teachers and counsellors who also know your situation and have worked with you through your HS years to be both academically (and socially) successful

    When you meet, ask that there be a contact who will "check in" with you early into the coming semester to avoid any buildup and overload

    Maybe even meet with the advisor on a monthly basis to ensure that you are okay

    It looked like you had to figure it out all yourself and it took your persistence on getting the help you need!

    Good job for that!
    Make sure that you know and give yourself a pat on the back for advocating for yourself

    Possibly they might reverse the fines after you have this sit down together


    Good luck

    Praying for you
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2017
  8. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Another thing to consider. Knowing that you need more time to organize yourself, possibly your instructors can inform you earlier of projects and deadlines

    OR

    maybe they can give you extended time

    You do need to have a "504" form which you are supposed to give your instructors st the beginning of each semester

    But when you know all your instructors for a given semester possibly student services could shoot an email (copying you) explaining the situation and that the instructors should be open to your requests for additional support as needed

    No one should have to faiil
    And any child who isn't purposely being negligent in their studies should be given EVERY opportunity to succeed

    Especially when a disability is a factor


    Good luck
     
  9. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    And to avoid having to repeat yourself every semester.
    Yes
    Ask for a contact who will guide you throughout your attendance st this college
     
  10. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    Hello, HeartofSilver.

    Unfortunately, college can often be hard to navigate, just as you have experienced. Some people will say, later on, that finding a way through the administrative maze is half of what you learn while earning your degree.

    I do think, however, that this college has some unusually inflexible and/or punitive policies that aren't typical of colleges in general. Don't give up, but I would suggest looking into transferring to another school, probably a public one.
     
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  11. Andben

    Andben New Member

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    Praying for you, I know it can be tough. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I've seen it hold true in my own life with my anxiety/OCD. Trust and believe!
     
  12. Alisa Bea Audiobooks

    Alisa Bea Audiobooks A follower of Christ since 2016

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    I prayed for you also. I hope you can update us and tell us how you're going.
     
  13. Heartofsilver

    Heartofsilver Bride of Christ 4/8/17 Isaiah 54:5 Supporter

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    Hello everyone,

    Here is an update with what is happening, some of the situation has gotten better and some has gotten even worse. A left the school to do a job elsewhere. J tried talking with my academic advisor to discover how inflexible they are and that they didn't understand that not complying with my disability was against the law/rules. So, J helped me to petition for a new advisor which I need to check if I got a new one soon. I made an appointment with J and another staff member V, who is in charge of academic probation via email. J told me to make an appointment with the online scheduler, so that we could confirm a time that we could all meet. My dad and I show up to only see J. I asked them where V was and J told me that they were at a different meeting. I told them that I thought that they were supposed to be at this one. Then J told me that I didn't make an appointment online with V therefore nothing was confirmed with them though we were communicating with them via email. They never told me to that I needed make an appointment with V. I told J that I guess we should have made an appointment with V as well or instead, because I knew that J would be here in this current meeting place regardless. I expressed to J that I feel threatened by the school by them telling me that I have to pay $100 and be on academic probation for something that is their fault. I also felt like I was being punished for having disabilities, and even neglected by the disabilities department. I had let J know at a previous meeting how my parents and I were upset with how the school is mishandling all of this and how it seems they are just letting me fall through the cracks. I also let J know that I have never been treated this badly by a school. Which they asked "really?" and I told them yes, I've never been treated this terrible before and that they never did this at my previous college. I was put on academic probation before at another school, but not because the staff messed up. So, at this latest meeting my dad and I let her know that we wanted to construct a letter to the Dean to let them know how I got to where I am today and that I wasn't just sitting on my hands. J then started explaining that while on academic probation I will be put into a class with valuable information and materials which is why the $100 is being charged. She made it sound good to my dad and I, so I sign the paper for the course, which I'm now feeling like it was a mistake. This week I accidentally missed a class, since some of the days the class was canceled, it's only once a week, it's also over Chapel time which is kind of optional, and I would skip some mornings the previous semesters. As I was getting ready for my other class, I realized I had missed it, but didn't panic at first, because it was the first time that I had missed the class this semester. Later that night I get an email telling me that if I miss again I will be changed $250, placed in Academic recovery and be placed in a study hall. I could not stop crying. I have been angry for days, feeling like the only reason that J talked me into this class was to save themselves from us telling the Dean how all of this happened. I feel like the reason they didn't tell me that I needed to make an appointment with V was so, that they didn't have to come, so that J could talk us into this. I feel like there is no one I can trust on this campus administrative staff wise including my disabilities counsler and unfortunately I still have to work with them. V is also about to speak at the academic probation class that J runs, I feel like the school system has failed me. I told J about how I feel about the email and she told me that things are fine, not to miss another class, and that I'll make it. Near the end of it she sounded like they didn't give a rip and started focusing on some other paper work. I started thinking about how, of course she wouldn't care, this has all fallen on me, and that they have saved themselves from us writing to the Dean, which we should have done anyway.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
  14. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Yes. Write your letter to the dean and copy the disability office

    There is no reason why you shouldn't
     
  15. christianforumsuser

    christianforumsuser Well-Known Member

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    I didn't read all that but what use have some religious supports been...if people tell you what you want to hear but then you still have to actually face reality
    Again as I said I didn't read all that, but I'll say Scripture really lays things out better than religious people who give advice...what does the Bible say about taking counsel from sinners
    It's nice having friends...
    I'm just afraid you might run into trouble along with the sort of people you like listening to
     
  16. christianforumsuser

    christianforumsuser Well-Known Member

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    Because I don't want to see people keep making these mistakes, if after I face problems in life I would be able to help you more than I was
     
  17. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Do you know the difference
    between those who you claim to be outwardly "religious" from those who are actually inwardly "religious"
     
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