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Pretty picture, causing a brother to stumble?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by flowerforever7, Mar 14, 2013.

  1. flowerforever7

    flowerforever7 Newbie

    414
    +7
    Christian
    Single
    Hi,

    I have a question. I recently took a photo of myself and updated my Facebook. The picture is very modest, but I look pretty in it. I wanted to make sure that I didn't look seductive or anything so I asked a sister in Christ her opinion. She said I looked natural, not seductive.

    After posting this picture on Facebook I started to feel convicted. There is this guy who seems like he likes me, he has texted me a lot, "likes" my pictures, and told me multiple times that he likes me. When at Church he makes a point to talk to me and seems to monopolize my time I have to pry myself away from the conversation most times, and he has made multiple attempts at trying to get me to go places with him. Among other reasons for not pursuing anything with him, he is divorced and from what I understand Scripturally unable to remarry, though he thinks he is. In general, it must be really difficult to be divorced and to want a relationship with someone..

    Because I look pretty in this picture I am afraid that I will become a stumbling block to him since he is on my FB friends list and can see it. He has already "liked" it. At the same time, do I need to hide when I look pretty? That seems depressing. I would like to walk through life being able to enjoy things like times I may look pretty. At the same time, I know Jesus is about love, and has serious words about causing a brother to stumble. I don't want to be a stumbling block / source of pain to someone.

    Aside from this I do want to share I have scrupulosity. Often times I feel convicted about many many things because I am intensely afraid of sinning. Sometimes I do not know when I am seeing things as may be best.

    What are your thoughts on this in general and about this specific situation? He is already on my FB friends list, and has seen the picture.

    Thanks for any godly advice you can offer.
     
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  2. The Fire Rises

    The Fire Rises Via, Veritas, Vita

    +41
    Christian
    Single
    It's good to know that you have taken the time to question this, there are many girls who actually go out of their way to look seductive to guys.

    Personally, I think that what you're doing is not a sin in anyway. Could it possibly make him more attracted to you? Yeah I suppose. But your intentions for posting the picture were pure; you were not trying to impress or seduce anyone, you were simply posting a nice picture of yourself. Nothing wrong with that.

    Also, if he already likes you that much, I don't think one picture will make that much of a difference.
     
  3. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter

    +615
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    The Lord blessed you with beauty enjoy it-- as with all things,
    it too will fade.

    There's nothing wrong with being attractive unless you are using
    it wrongly... like in a seducing type manner, or being a femme fatale.

    There are men who go after women who they find attractive and some of
    those men can be very persistent about it.
    Many women have encountered those types of men.

    Lust causes a lot of folks to stumble.
     
  4. Jethro99

    Jethro99 Newbie

    57
    +1
    Pentecostal
    Consider this - Maybe he is making himself stumble.

    There are many pretty girls in the world. If you made yourself unattractive to him, he might just focus on another girl. If he did, would it be that girl's fault? ..and if he moved to another after that would it be her fault?

    Do you see where I am going with this..

    You are doing nothing to lead him on or to give him false ideas and not doing anything wrong that I see.
     
  5. LilLamb219

    LilLamb219 The Lamb is gone Supporter

    +1,737
    Christian
    Private
    Since he really likes you, it's very possible that ANY photo you post would be liked by him.

    You're doing just fine at not encouraging him and it's good that you really made certain your photo was a safe one. Don't feel that you have to hide just because some guy likes you...if you don't want a relationship with him and you don't lead him on, eventually he'll find someone else.

     
  6. Adaephon

    Adaephon Guest

    +0
    If he's creeping you out and he bothers you, unfriend him and block him.
     
  7. madetoworship

    madetoworship Who we were meant to be

    +35
    Christian
    Single
    Maybe throw in some weird silly faces in some pictures to throw him off?
     
  8. DiscipleHeLovesToo

    DiscipleHeLovesToo Regular Member Supporter

    +369
    Non-Denom
    Single
    i think you may not understand what Jesus was actually talking about when He spoke about divorce and adultery, or who He was talking to (i.e., what covenant they were under); but i realize that many churches teach this literal interpretation - i encourage you to research this for yourself in light of 2Cor 5:17-19.

    the very act of being afraid - whether it is afraid of 'sinning' or afraid of anything else, IS sin; as Jesus told us multiple times to 'fear not' - but rather than be condemned, rest from your fears in the knowledge that all your 'sins' have been paid for, and God does not hold your 'sins' against you now that you are reborn in Christ. fear is in fact faith in the devil - in his ability to steal, kill and destroy - but because Jesus has defeated the devil, you need not fear him. strive to rest from your efforts to live righteous on your own strength, and seek instead to be led by God in all things (as He will never lead you to 'sin') - and when you do 'sin', trust in the fact that Jesus has already paid for all your 'sins'; past, present and future.

    also, remember that outward beauty is fleeting; you would do better to focus on your inward beauty instead as this beauty is permanent.
     
  9. 1hope

    1hope Regular Member

    313
    +9
    Non-Denom
    If they know you are afraid of sinning, that tends to make them even more anxious to be the ones to make you sin. ( this is something I know first hand). Pray for the Lord to intervene on your behalf. You may need to be stern with him. If for any reason you have to go to his place, take somebody with you.
    Perhaps, if he is too pursuing toward you, you might speak to your preacher and ask him to talk to this guy.
    It sounds like you are trying to do what is right. But don't let yourself be caught up in false guilt for something that is not your fault. You may need help with this, though.
    God Bless!
     
  10. Mrs. Luther073082

    Mrs. Luther073082 Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3

    +1,220
    Lutheran
    Married
    Rub excrement all over yourself. Daily. Problem solved :ok: But seriously, you may need to be rather blunt with him because he does not seem to be getting the "not interested" vibe from you. Facebooking and texting probably is misleading, for example.
     
  11. asiyreh

    asiyreh God is salvation

    +45
    Catholic
    Married
    Flower try to remember the freedom we have in Christ from time to time. God made you the way you are. He designed the way you look. Paul instructs young women to maintain standards of chastity in the way you dress. Why not study the topic a little by yourself.

    The Holy spirit will encourage you to change your ways, he may use chastisement but it will be positive as a loving father chastises their daughter.
    Satan voice is one of accusation...That's the difference. It's easy at first to mix them up.

    I suggest you don't enter into a relationship with this guy. You end up taking your own guilt about being with a divorcee out on him.
     
  12. Steve Petersen

    Steve Petersen Senior Veteran

    +3,209
    Deist
    US-Libertarian
    So the weak brother sets the agenda? Sounds like a losing formula to me.
     
  13. mandyangel

    mandyangel Regular Member

    +204
    Christian
    In Relationship
    US-Republican
    that is rediculous, you are not causing anybody to stumble by your picture thats silly. i have bikini pics of myself far worse than what your describing some even see through, just chill out about this its no big deal
     
  14. flowerforever7

    flowerforever7 Newbie

    414
    +7
    Christian
    Single
    Hi All,

    Thanks for your responses. Seems like about everybody is on the same page about it. @DiscipleHeLovesToo: just a gentle reminder that all fear is not bad. The Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

    God bless.
    ________
    Acts 22:16 - "And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’"
     
  15. TheyCallMeDave

    TheyCallMeDave At your service....

    +144
    Protestant
    Single
    US-Republican
    I greatly admire your sensitivity , my Sister . It was good of you to get the advice of an older Christian lady at your church...but....you need a MANS opinion on the picture --- from someone who will give you an unbiased evaluation. This can be your Pastor, A Board Member , or a trusted seasoned male Christian you know well. Explain your concern to the male you choose for an opinion, and i believe you will have a far more accurate analysis to go on.

    Lastly, it is perfectly alright to want to look pretty ...and in fact, it is WHO you are as a woman of God . Express that in modesty and thankfulness for how you were fashioned physically and spiritually and emotionally by God. So long as you dont go over boundaries, then you can be assured you are staying in Gods will. There is nothing wrong with a male first being attracted to your outward beauty as God wired a Man to find that very very appealing ; it is a springboard effect into discovering the deeper part of your Being...and that is the inward beauty you also have . So during your conversations, and as you feel comfortable doing with this particular individual man, allow your personality to come out so he can get a hold of that in addition to him seeing your outward virtues as a woman.

    DId any of this make sense to you ? I hope so. God bless.
     
  16. OntheHorizon

    OntheHorizon Guest

    +0
    First of all don't let anyone convince you that you being beautiful and wonderful gives those people an entitlement to lust over you (cus their weak, hurt OH BOOOHOO)... it ain't your fault that they are selfish, immature, lack self control and need to grow up, it isn't your fault... it isn't your fault... it isn't your fault.

    From the rest of what you said the person sounds immature and needy.

    It is not your fault if he wants you in ways that he shouldn't and it's pious filthy MEN who have allowed women to feel like it's somehow their fault, it's the same thing as accusing women of getting themselves raped and abused... cus those poor, weak, immature, dirty men just couldn't help it, like that poor guy just can't help wanting to have sex with you or something else he shouldn't.... he can help it, it's called being responsible and being an adult!

    Now if you go shake your boobs in his face that's one thing, don't shake your boobs in his face... as for being pretty, posting pretty pics of yourself... he needs to grow up and it's not your fault and he's probably not a good friend.

    It will never be your fault that you are pretty and if he chooses to have dirty thoughts to you in HIS head it was entirely HIS doing. He is not a puppet, no one controls him, there is no voodoo going on here... he doesn't need to cry and wish he could stop.. the poor thing... he needs a bump upside the head and get told to grow up.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2013
  17. OntheHorizon

    OntheHorizon Guest

    +0
    Now when Paul said to be mindful of other peoples weaknesses he was talking about not doing things that other people think are sins.... grieving them.... he wasn't saying pretty women need to stay in the house cus all the weak, honorless, immature, crippled sex crazed men can't help lusting over them like zombies.
     
  18. OntheHorizon

    OntheHorizon Guest

    +0
    If I take my absolutely stunning and beautiful wife to church and some nut down across the isle just can't help wanting to do bad things with her... he's going to get it from ME and I'll be damned if somehow my wife becomes the problem in that.
     
  19. OntheHorizon

    OntheHorizon Guest

    +0
    :) !!!

    Or do some really nasty ones with dirt on your face or something... morning, no make up, hair all messed up... since you're the one responsible for him and his emotions. Or fart on him or something, let your breath get nasty and breath in his face.
     
  20. mandyangel

    mandyangel Regular Member

    +204
    Christian
    In Relationship
    US-Republican
    amen, ur wiffe is very lucky to have a man like you.
     
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