**Possible Trigger Warning** I would rather die than suffer this any longer - please

[Lady Bug]

.

sorry but I deleted this because it looks like it got a ton of views yet no one answered - it just made me upset that's all that no one answered

 

[Bellicus]

Hi, I never saw what you wrote, but if you need someone to talk to, just let me know. God bless.

 

[huldah153]

This struggle is so excruciating that sometimes I wish I were dead. But then I am reminded of these wise words from CS Lewis:

"I know about the despair of overcoming chronic temptation. It is not serious, provided self-offended petulance, annoyance at breaking records, impatience, etc. don't get the upper hand. No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of his presence."

 

[bm55]

Thanks for that quote. I'm a big C.S. Lewis fan and that is a very encouraging quote.

 

[Lady Bug]

thank you for the C.S. Lewis quote. I have read his book Mere Christianity too, about 2 years ago. He's the kind of guy that you have to read something twice because the first time you may not get the meaning.

I didn't feel like keeping the contents of my OP up, that is why they are not there.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

thank you for the C.S. Lewis quote. I have read his book Mere Christianity too, about 2 years ago. He's the kind of guy that you have to read something twice because the first time you may not get the meaning.

I didn't feel like keeping the contents of my OP up, that is why they are not there.

Miss Bug,

We are already in eternity. You have come to a place where you are aware of it.

Just like the feelings we have when we realize that we are in school . . . and someday, won't be in school, but we're here where we are where we are.

This happens when we become "aware" of our lives and our surroundings.

One thing about depression, it is a proof that we are alive and have a mind that suffers, and yet, knows that suffering isn't good. No one wants to stay depressed.

Know that almost every person (and I would dare say every person) goes through what you are feeling.

We are alive, and we should use the time we have to enjoy life and realize that we are on our way to eternity.

Know that since we are already "in" eternity, that we are only on a palne of existence no different than people that are walking up a hill, to the people on the other side. It was an uphill climb for them too. But on the way up that hill, there were so many beautiful things to experience.

I wonder if this is why humans like to climb mountains for no other reason than for the experience of doing so. Let's face it, you have to go down sometime, and all of the greatness was in the climb up. In the eternal aspect, you get the joy of the climb and a joy at the promises that lay ahead.

Seek some older people than you and ask them as many questions as you can. You will see that things you are feeling are very common and something you can overcome, and that will make you stronger.

Ask me an questions you may have. Life is precious and it is given us for a reason.

PCF

 

[Criada]

Praying for you, dear one.
You are precious and much loved... and you will get past the dark times.

 

[fromthatshow]

praying for you as well. you are never alone. God is with you forever and always

 

[Carolyn H]

I am praying for you, also! God bless you!!!! Sometimes I read a thread, and don't know what to say...so I pray!!!!

 

[Vankor]

Shame on us for not having responded at all if you were suffering that much.

 

[Lady Bug]

Hi Vankor, thank you...

it was tough for me at the time - and it's still tough for me now. I don't exactly want to say what bothered me but it really, really killed me -

but the subject line of my OP seems kind of lame - I don't know why.

 

[Vankor]

Well I'm not a counsellor but my ex-fiance dealt with some pretty heavy stuff and I can at least listen (well read) and give encouragement so please feel free and PM me if you like.

 

[Vankor]

Why do you feel that the OP title was lame? I'll pray for you, even though I don't know what happened, but God does.

 

[fromthatshow]

Hi. PM me if you ever need to talk. It feels like what you are going through is very intense. I have been there. I am there. It is just that intense for me as well.

 

[Vankor]

Hey, how come my posts keep getting deleted?

 

[FaithfulWife]

Hey, how come my posts keep getting deleted?

Hi, Vankor!

I can answer your question for you, as I'm a mod here in Recovery. We have a couple of areas here in Recovery that are delicate topics that are ripe targets for spam or hate posts or something WAY too graphic...so for those areas we view the posts first and approve them. Struggles with Sexuality is such an area.

Thus if you post, it can take a bit for us to read it and approve it. They aren't deleted--just stored for a moment.

So welcome to Struggles with Sexuality and thank you so much for your warm encouragement to Ladybug. She's one of our MUCH LOVED members.


~FaithfulWife

 

[Lady Bug]

thank you Faithful Wife!

 

[FaithfulWife]

You're welcome Ladybug!

And I agree with Vankor: "Shame on us for not having responded at all if you were suffering that much."

I admit I was one of the one's who viewed your post and didn't reply because for most of the posts in Recovery people are hurting and I need to think and pray a bit first before I reply. But you know what? From now on if I read one I'm going to at least say, "I read your post and I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I'm thinking about what to write back, but until then please know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you."

We love ya LadyBug

 

[Angeldove97]

Be blessed Sister
(Sorry I haven't been around to chat--- teaching, as much as I love the kids, is more work than I ever realized)

You're in my thoughts and prayers though

 

[Lady Bug]

You're welcome Ladybug!

And I agree with Vankor: "Shame on us for not having responded at all if you were suffering that much."

I admit I was one of the one's who viewed your post and didn't reply because for most of the posts in Recovery people are hurting and I need to think and pray a bit first before I reply. But you know what? From now on if I read one I'm going to at least say, "I read your post and I'm sorry you are hurting so badly. I'm thinking about what to write back, but until then please know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you."

We love ya LadyBug

You don't have to feel that bad for not having responded on the spot - even though you don't need to write a "preamble" response before the actual meatier response, I wholly appreciate your intentions - and if that is how you want to respond to a post, more power to you It's not entirely necessary though if your intent is to eventually respond - but if you think it will help me feel better for a little while, it's just fine