polyamorous relationships

[Someone5u8]

Do you think its morally ok from a Christian standpoint to date 2 females at once being the both are ok with it of course. Would such a relationship be frowned upon in a Church.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Do you think its morally ok from a Christian standpoint to date 2 females at once being the both are ok with it of course. Would such a relationship be frowned upon in a Church.

1 Cor. chapter 7.

 

[salt-n-light]

Do you think its morally ok from a Christian standpoint to date 2 females at once being the both are ok with it of course. Would such a relationship be frowned upon in a Church.

dating and relationships are two different things. You can court multiple, but choose one.

 

[All4Christ]

The Christian Church has consistently taught against polyamory and polygamy.

@faroukfarouk pointed out some Scripture, and I’m sure others will as well. I’ll share the testimony of the early church, as it explains the interpretation of St Paul’s and Jesus’s words to stress monogamous relationships.

St. Justin Martyr (c.160) regarding polygamy in Jewish leaders

Your imprudent and blind masters [i.e., Jewish teachers] even until this time permit each man to have four or five wives. And if anyone sees a beautiful woman and desires to have her, they quote the doings of Jacob." [ANF, vol. 1, p. 266]

St. Irenaeus (c.180) when referencing a heretical movement

Others, again, following upon Basilides and Carpocrates, have introduced promiscuous intercourse and a plurality of wives..." [ANF, vol. 1, p.353]

Tertullian (c.207) in a writing “To His Wife”:

Chapter II.-Marriage Lawful, But Not Polygamy. We do not indeed forbid the union of man and woman, blest by God as the seminary of the human race, and devised for the replenishment of the earth and the furnishing of the world, and therefore permitted, yet Singly. For Adam was the one husband of Eve, and Eve his one wife, one woman, one rib. (ANF: Tertullian, To His Wife)

St Methodius (~290)

The contracting of marriage with several wives had been done away with from the times of the prophets. For we read, 'Do not go after your lusts, but refrain yourself from your appetites'...And in another place, 'Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.' This plainly forbids a plurality of wives." [ANF, vol. 6, p.312]

St. Basil

IV. In the case of trigamy and polygamy they laid down the same rule, in proportion, as in the case of digamy; namely one year for digamy (some authorities say two years); for trigamy men are separated for three and often for four years; but this is no longer described as marriage at all, but as polygamy; nay rather as limited fornication. It is for this reason that the Lord said to the woman of Samaria, who had five husbands, "he whom thou now hast is not thy husband." He does not reckon those who had exceeded the limits of a second marriage as worthy of the title of husband or wife. In cases of trigamy we have accepted a seclusion of five years, not by the canons, but following the precept of our predecessors. Such offenders ought not to be altogether prohibited from the privileges of the Church; they should be considered deserving of hearing after two or three years, and afterwards of being permitted to stand in their place; but they must be kept from the communion of the good gift, and only restored to the place of communion after showing some fruit of repentance. [ANF: (Canonica Prima.)To Amphilochius, concerning the Canons. Letter CLXXXVIII written c.347.]

The Christian testament of Scripture and the Christian Church have a consistent testimony on this teaching.

When seriously dating someone in a Christian context, we should be dating to work towards determining if a marriage will work. While the issue of dating isn’t specifically mentioned, the idea of multiple girlfriends or courting multiple girls certainly isn’t on the Spirit of the teaching of the Church

 

[faroukfarouk]

dating and relationships are two different things. You can court multiple, but choose one.

How you define dating and relationships? and do you mean serially or simultaneously? I think the OP is asking about simultaneously.

 

[All4Christ]

Also, welcome to Christian Forums!

 

[Someone5u8]

Yes I was meaning simultaneously. Like being in an actually committed relationship with 2 females under the same roof.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Yes I was meaning simultaneously. Like being in an actually committed relationship with 2 females under the same roof.

I thought so.

1 Corinthians 7 is a good guide.

 

[tdidymas]

Yes I was meaning simultaneously

As long as you don't "fall in love" and want to marry both of them. (lol)

I could see it being ok only if the relationships are kept casual, and no Christian ethical behavior is violated. But if it turns into something more serious than casual dating (the dating begins to stir romantic feelings and you start imagining having a life with one of them), then it would not be a fair thing to the other (in my opinion) to continue dating both. Honest communication is the key, with no secret agendas.
TD

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

The Christian Church has consistently taught against polyamory and polygamy.

@faroukfarouk pointed out some Scripture, and I’m sure others will as well. I’ll share the testimony of the early church, as it explains the interpretation of St Paul’s and Jesus’s words to stress monogamous relationships.

St. Justin Martyr (c.160) regarding polygamy in Jewish leaders



St. Irenaeus (c.180) when referencing a heretical movement



Tertullian (c.207) in a writing “To His Wife”:



St Methodius (~290)



St. Basil




The Christian testament of Scripture and the Christian Church have a consistent testimony on this teaching.

When seriously dating someone in a Christian context, we should be dating to work towards determining if a marriage will work. While the issue of dating isn’t specifically mentioned, the idea of multiple girlfriends or courting multiple girls certainly isn’t on the Spirit of the teaching of the Church

Awesome Post. Thank You.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Yeah, just don't. It's wrong, messy, selfish, someone will wind up getting their hearts broken, and in no way is this how God intends for love and sex to play out.

Chastity, marriage, fidelity until death, or else celibacy. This is how love, marriage, and sex are meant to work out in a way which glorifies God, who created us male and female.

 

[Andrew77]

Do you think its morally ok from a Christian standpoint to date 2 females at once being the both are ok with it of course. Would such a relationship be frowned upon in a Church.

To date? Confusing.

Obviously the Bible teaches that you shouldn't have sex with any woman you are not married to. Fornication is sin, and the Bible specifically says people who practice that will not go to Heaven.

As for marrying two women, um...

Ideally it is one man and one woman. That is the ideal.

There are hundreds of verses that talk about people in the Bible marrying multiple wives. So I find it difficult to say that it is morally wrong to marry multiple wives.

You will no doubt find dozens of people here saying it is morally wrong. It certainly isn't the Ideal laid out in scripture.

But how do you explain Jacob, or Elkanah who was the father of Samuel, or David the king, or the list goes on and on.

How many hundreds of people in the Bible, who were great leaders and spiritual people approved by G-d, and yet all have multiple wives, do you need before you conclude that having more than one wife isn't all the bad?

David and Bathsheba, is a perfect example. G-d never once complained, or punished David for having Bathsheba for a wife, when he was already married 3 times. He complained, because he killed her husband, and slept with her when she was already married. Then after being punished for those evils, he had no problem with David and Bathsheba having kids.

So I logically can't say that it is morally wrong to marry more than one woman. If it is wrong, then most of the patriarchs of the past, that we have as a basis for our faith, were all evil sinners.

I still think that the absolute best you can hope for is, one man and one woman. It works out best that way.

While G-d did not punish those people for polygamy, most of those relationships in the Bible, had problems. So the ideal remains, one man, one woman.

All that said.....

I don't know where you are from, but here in the US, you can't legally marry multiple wives.

The Bible says you should follow the laws of the land.

So since you can't marry more than one, then being with one you are not married to makes you a fornicator, and that is expressly prohibited in Christian faith. The Bible makes it clear, you can't be screwing women you are not married to. If you do, then you will reap judgement, not reward.

It's that simple.

 

[salt-n-light]

Yes I was meaning simultaneously. Like being in an actually committed relationship with 2 females under the same roof.

Oh, then no bueno.There's a reason for the one man one woman set up.

 

[salt-n-light]

How you define dating and relationships? and do you mean serially or simultaneously? I think the OP is asking about simultaneously.

Dating I see in the same realm as courting, where you are just seeing how you pan out with the person in different settings. Whereas a relationship is now a commitment to one person, usually towards a goal of marriage.

But I figured now he meant relationships.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Dating I see in the same realm as courting, where you are just seeing how you pan out with the person in different settings. Whereas a relationship is now a commitment to one person, usually towards a goal of marriage.

But I figured now he meant relationships.

Oh okay; ty.

I guess for the believer, fellowship is an added dimension, as in John's First Epistle. Sometimes the fellowship principle transcends others, incomprehensibly to unbelievers.

 

[faroukfarouk]

@Mskriskris PS: I hadn't heard of the term 'polyamorous' before, had you?

 

[Shroom]

It sounds incredibly mentally taxing in terms of emotional investment to have multiple partners in one relationship!

 

[Petros2015]

Ultimately it will fail and cause harm, which is why it is not condoned. It's one of those things that looks good on paper, but if you can't be with just one it's better to be with just none.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I'll go with a "no" on this one lol.

 

[Albion]

It sounds now like we are talking about an undeclared or unofficial polygamous situation, which, no, would not be all right.