1.) our lives are not written down beforehand, to be completely unchangeable by us,
When Jesus talked about the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah and the people of Noah's day, he did not mention anything about sexual immorality. Instead, he said they were eating, drinking, planting, building, marrying, and buying and selling; all ordinary, normal, every-day activities (Lk 17:26-28). There is nothing immoral about any of these things in themselves, though. The problem was that people had become so caught up in their day-to-day activities that they had stopped caring about what God wanted and were destroyed as a result.
Your job and the various aspects of your day-to-day life are very important to you, but what if, like those people of Sodom and Noah's day, that importance has come at the expense of hearing from God? What if you, like they, have fallen into the trap of believing that these every-day activities are the extent of life and that there is nothing beyond going to work each day and paying the bills?
For anyone who is trapped inside that kind of thinking, perhaps the silver lining of this pandemic is that it's forcing us to slow down and rethink what really matters most to us (and to God).
2.) God didn't pre-ordain me to be a loser no matter how hard I try?
One of the greatest tools you have in changing your thinking is to habitually ask yourself if you're being rational. Did God create you to fail? It's a question worth exploring if it can be done sincerely. Rationally speaking, it would make no sense that he would want failure, in the same way that you would not treat a patient in hospital with the intent of failing. Perhaps you are doing everything right, but if the patient refuses to follow instructions properly and his choices lead to further failures in his health, you did not design the treatment to fail. If you knew the patient made choices contrary to your instructions and then he accused you of wanting the treatment to fail, you would understand that such an accusation would be not only unfair, but hurtful, too.
And that's where our relationship with God comes in; are we following his instructions properly? Is it really God's will for you and your husband to spend the rest of your lives trading your time and skills for money so that you can pay the bills?
Jesus talked about something new which he called it the Kingdom of Heaven. He said that when we pray, we should ask that God's will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven (Mt 6:10). In Heaven, do you think they spend their time trading their services for money so they can pay the bills?
A little further on he says we should not store up treasures here on earth and that our new job is to work for God's Kingdom full time (Mt 6:19). He said we cannot work for both God and money at the same time without cheating on one or the other and that we will love one and hate the other (Mt 6:24). He said we should not let fears about food and clothing (the most basic necessities) stop us from working for his Kingdom (Mt 6:25-31).
He said all the nations of the world spend their time chasing after these material things, but that
we should not be like them (Mt 6:32). We are called out and set apart. We are witnesses of a
different kind of economy where, instead of demanding payment for our services (i.e. I'll only help you if you pay me), we share our time and skills with others for their benefit.
Jesus promised that anyone who does decide to step out in faith and practice these principles will be taken care of by God (Mt 6:33). God is our creator and he knows what we need; the most important need we have as spiritual entities inhabiting fleshly bodies is to understand that life is more than food and clothing. Abraham was willing to sacrifice his own son to prove to himself that God really did come first in his life, that there is something more important than flesh. Most of us can appreciate the good sense in that lesson while at the same time we breathe a sigh of relief that God has not asked for such a demonstration from us and yet he
has; we are to put the values of his kingdom first even before our necessary food and clothing.
It would be better for us if we were to step out in faith willingly simply because it is what Jesus asked us to do, but even still, in this situation where a worldwide crisis has essentially forced so many of us into a situation where we cannot spend our time working for money, why not take this opportunity to explore the practical application of those teachings? Pray with and talk to your husband about it. Look for opportunities to promote the Kingdom of Heaven in practical ways trusting that God will look after you and, in the unlikely event that you do end up starving, at least you'll go out knowing that you served the Kingdom in those last days as opposed to wringing your hands over material worries.
