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Featured Please show me how to correct my wrong thinking.

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by LovebirdsFlying, Mar 23, 2020.

  1. LovebirdsFlying

    LovebirdsFlying My husband drew this cartoon of me. Staff Member Red Team - Moderator Supporter

    United States
    I already know my thinking is wrong; there is no need to tell me that much. I'd like to know, please, exactly where the errors are and how to correct them with Scripture.

    I have it in my head that people's lives are written out beforehand, sort of like a book. Events and outcomes are already decided. This is going to happen on page 16, and that will happen on page 300. There is nothing the character in the book can do to change it. In fact, it really doesn't matter what the character wants. If she wants with all her heart to be a ballerina, but the author has written a story about a character who never gets to be a ballerina, then something will always happen to stop her from becoming a ballerina, because that's the plot.

    And, I further have it in my head that my character will never be successful in a career. It's not written in my life story for me to succeed. I'm a Charlie Brown character; he was never supposed to kick that football, no matter how many times he tried. The story of my life appears to be to *almost* succeed, but something beyond my control always interferes.

    I'd grown up in poverty, married into domestic violence, escaped it, survived a car accident making my former profession (nursing assistant, which is very physically strenuous) impossible to pursue, was on disability and in subsidized housing for many years, and then married a man who could support me and get me the medical care I needed. I finally overcame disability enough to be able to get a job at all... and now this. I had *just* been promoted at work. I was *almost on the brink* of succeeding. Then they shut the office down, and my husband has gotten word he's going to be laid off too. Now it's right back to wondering how we're going to survive, just like the circumstances I grew up in. I didn't escape that life after all. I only thought I had.

    I've just read where this virus crisis could last up to 18 months. That's an awful long time for both me *and* my husband to be laid off. And by the time it's over, with my paltry work history, will I be too old to get another job?

    Yes, I realize the virus didn't come into existence merely for the purpose of forcing me and/or my husband out of work. And I realize we're far from the only ones in this boat. But I can't shake the notion that it's written somewhere, I'm not allowed to succeed. If I start to, then something is going to happen to knock me back down to the bottom of the heap.... where I belong, because that's the way the author wrote it.

    Will someone please show me Scripturally that 1.) our lives are not written down beforehand, to be completely unchangeable by us, and 2.) God didn't pre-ordain me to be a loser no matter how hard I try?

    Thank you.
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. Ahermit

    Ahermit Active Member

    The only power we have, which God gave us is the power of choice. If you don't like what you are thinking, then change it. Positive people can see the positive side of everything that happens in their life.

    Accept everything, regardless if you like it or not. This is being unconditional towards God. You can't go wrong.
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2020
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  3. Michael Collum

    Michael Collum Everything began with a voice, use yours Supporter

    Christian Seeker
    1) There's no comparison with parallel realities in the scripture for an apt comparison. However, Israel is told many times that If you would have turned I would have healed you. Jesus wept for Jerusalem when he rode in on the donkey because if they knew this was their visitation, there would have been another ending.

    2) To deconstruct this sentence, God didn't pre-ordain me to be a loser.

    God didn't choose you to follow the pattern of this world, it is the pattern of this world that compares one lot and another and says this one is a loser. In God there is no favoritism (Acts). In general, there is a theme of suffering in the NT, (just google "suffering scripture") because Jesus didn't come to take us out of this world but for us to shine brightly while we live our lives in this world as that light on the hill. (John, Matthew)

    To further deconstruct, "no matter how hard I try"

    Jesus died so we could live life along side Him, since He is in another dimension, we can only connect via faith. The saints of old had a rich history of doing God's will by trusting Him, and through trusting Him accomplished their earthly mission. However, look at Samson, he died in the end, Moses, he only saw the promise at a distance, Paul at the end of His life saw that wolves would come into the fold not sparing the flock after he departed.

    I hope that helps, earthly life still sucks, but God is with us, so we're not alone.
  4. Heavenhome

    Heavenhome Well-Known Member Supporter

    Hello, I don't know if this will answer you.

    Firstly it is so important that we mustn't judge our success in life, by worldly standards.

    We are not of the world.

    You may look at many in the Bible who followed God and see just what losers ( in the worlds eyes) they all were. Let's see, most of all Jesus: He had nowhere to lay His head, was despised by most, friends forsook Him....the list goes on.
    What about Paul in prison, was he a success?
    Myself in the worlds eyes: a loser.
    On disability, health problems, no spouse, no children, the list goes on.
    But I have God and when all is said and done that's ALL that really matters.

    Nowhere in the Bible are we ever told our lives will be easy, on the contrary we are told that we will suffer persecution and will be hated.
    Here is one Scripture for you that is in the end of Genesis where Joseph had endured much at the hand of his brothers and finally after years, was reconciled with his family.speaking to his brothers
    Genesis 50:20

    "But as for you, ye thought evil against me, but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive".

    No matter what happens in a Christians life it doesn't happen by chance God is working it for good.
    I believe with all my heart that the situation the world is in now will give all people an opportunity: Christians to draw nearest to God than ever before and rely totally upon Him and His promise to provide all our NEEDS. Matthew 6:25-34.
    The other opportunity is for people who don't know God, will realise the answers to life, is not found in man, and I pray they will call out to God in repentance.

    God bless you and may you see that you are precious to God, what the world thinks, who cares?
  5. Richard T

    Richard T Well-Known Member

    United States
    As I rad through your story, there does seem to be a pattern there. that is not God's pattern though. He does want to not only give you a breakthrough but also to make up to you for the years that you have lost. It may not occur immediately, but there are some things you can do to make the change. you are the head and not the tail. You have to realize more of who you are in Christ, an heir of God and a joint heir of jesus. You are in God's family and as a member an important part.

    So what can you do? Read the bible about all the benefits of God and confess some of the scriptures that encourage you. Give some seed to a ministry or person in need. It does not have to be alot, but God has said there will be sowing (giving) and reaping. To expect a harvest you need to give. If you have only time to give, that is worthwhile too.
    Find a church and/or other believers that truly encourage you. Not just some positive thinking or church that only preaches prosperity, but a bible thumping, vibrant church if you are not already in one.
    Keep your hope as the anchor of your soul, you are going to make it through this downturn and have a turnaround.

    It is interesting to see the term expected end. but what is that? I would argue that it is God's will as outlined in the bible. not some beat down, economically deprived status. God tells Israel their vats would overflow and their barns would be filled. Surely the new covenant is better. God will hearken unto you, sounds like he is waiting for you to call forth a better destination, one of peace. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Time to be filled and overflowing, with joy and the other things of God.
    I would also learn how to do spiritual warfare. You may have curses that are holding you back. Look online for prayers of deliverance, you can do those yourself or maybe find someone that understands this. mainly though, I think you have a war in your mind. you are thinking and confessing poverty and it is coming at you. Get that changed in your mind and you will be free.
    3 John 1:2 (KJV)
    2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

    Jeremiah 29:11-13 (KJV)

    11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
    12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
    13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
  6. Dave L

    Dave L Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    You are right about predestination and therefore should not worry. But understand your life as a transformation into the likeness of Christ. If we have free will, and God changes his plans to adjust to it, then chaos prevails and we cannot have faith.
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2020
  7. ajcarey

    ajcarey Active Member

    United States
    1) Jeremiah 18:1-11: "The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, 2 Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words. 3 Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. 4 And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it. 5 Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel. 7 At what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, and to pull down, and to destroy it; 8 If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them. 9 And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it; 10 If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them. 11 Now therefore go to, speak to the men of Judah, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying, Thus saith the Lord; Behold, I frame evil against you, and devise a device against you: return ye now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good."

    Jonah 3:3-10: "3 So Jonah arose, and went unto Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord. Now Nineveh was an exceeding great city of three days' journey. 4 And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown. 5 So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them. 6 For word came unto the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and he laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. 7 And he caused it to be proclaimed and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste any thing: let them not feed, nor drink water: 8 But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands. 9 Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not? 10 And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not."

    Joshua 24:14-15: "14 Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. 15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

    John 14:21: "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him."

    Jeremiah 38:14-23: "14 Then Zedekiah the king sent, and took Jeremiah the prophet unto him into the third entry that is in the house of the Lord: and the king said unto Jeremiah, I will ask thee a thing; hide nothing from me. 15 Then Jeremiah said unto Zedekiah, If I declare it unto thee, wilt thou not surely put me to death? and if I give thee counsel, wilt thou not hearken unto me? 16 So Zedekiah the king sware secretly unto Jeremiah, saying, As the Lord liveth, that made us this soul, I will not put thee to death, neither will I give thee into the hand of these men that seek thy life. 17 Then said Jeremiah unto Zedekiah, Thus saith the Lord, the God of hosts, the God of Israel; If thou wilt assuredly go forth unto the king of Babylon's princes, then thy soul shall live, and this city shall not be burned with fire; and thou shalt live, and thine house: 18 But if thou wilt not go forth to the king of Babylon's princes, then shall this city be given into the hand of the Chaldeans, and they shall burn it with fire, and thou shalt not escape out of their hand. 19 And Zedekiah the king said unto Jeremiah, I am afraid of the Jews that are fallen to the Chaldeans, lest they deliver me into their hand, and they mock me. 20 But Jeremiah said, They shall not deliver thee. Obey, I beseech thee, the voice of the Lord, which I speak unto thee: so it shall be well unto thee, and thy soul shall live. 21 But if thou refuse to go forth, this is the word that the Lord hath shewed me: 22 And, behold, all the women that are left in the king of Judah's house shall be brought forth to the king of Babylon's princes, and those women shall say, Thy friends have set thee on, and have prevailed against thee: thy feet are sunk in the mire, and they are turned away back. 23 So they shall bring out all thy wives and thy children to the Chaldeans: and thou shalt not escape out of their hand, but shalt be taken by the hand of the king of Babylon: and thou shalt cause this city to be burned with fire."

    Jeremiah 19:5: "They have built also the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings unto Baal, which I commanded not, nor spake it, neither came it into my mind"

    2) Romans 2:6-11: "6 Who will render to every man according to his deeds: 7 To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life: 8 But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath, 9 Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; 10 But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile:11 For there is no respect of persons with God."

    Job 34:1-12: "Furthermore Elihu answered and said, 2 Hear my words, O ye wise men; and give ear unto me, ye that have knowledge. 3 For the ear trieth words, as the mouth tasteth meat.
    4 Let us choose to us judgment: let us know among ourselves what is good. 5 For Job hath said, I am righteous: and God hath taken away my judgment. 6 Should I lie against my right? my wound is incurable without transgression. 7 What man is like Job, who drinketh up scorning like water 8 Which goeth in company with the workers of iniquity, and walketh with wicked men. 9 For he hath said, It profiteth a man nothing that he should delight himself with God. 10 Therefore hearken unto me ye men of understanding: far be it from God, that he should do wickedness; and from the Almighty, that he should commit iniquity. 11 For the work of a man shall he render unto him, and cause every man to find according to his ways. 12 Yea, surely God will not do wickedly, neither will the Almighty pervert judgment."

    Hebrews 11:6: "6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

    You are making a choice that will impact your destiny even in how you receive these Scriptures. Those who believe in fate and push their belief in fate on others, and/or express frustration that others don't believe in fate like they do are a logical contradiction and prove their belief to be nonsense which they don't even really believe themselves.
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  8. Lost4words

    Lost4words Jesus I Trust In You Supporter

    United Kingdom
    Whatever happens in life, we have to put all of our trust and faith in God.

    Some, will have heavier crosses to bear.

    Keep your focus on Jesus. God will guide you.

    God bless you
  9. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    I believe that the scriptures clearly trumpet that we have choices to make in this life ... and that those choices matter.

    We don't have unlimited CHOICE, ... but we have the challenge to continue to be LIFE AFFIRMING, ... no matter our circumstances. That's the way God is ... LIFE AFFIRMING, ... no matter the opposition.

    Deuteronomy 30

    19 “Today I have given you the CHOICE between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the CHOICE you make. Oh, that you would CHOOSE life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this CHOICE by loving the LORD your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.

    We can't ALL be ballerinas, ... or dignitaries, ... or writers, ... or kings/priests.

    But we ALL have the opportunity to become "CHILDREN OF GOD". And we ALL have the constant CHOICE before us to LOVE, as He loves.

    1 John 3

    1 Behold what manner of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God. And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. 2 Beloved, we are now children of God, and what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know that when Christ appears,a we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He is. 3 And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as Christ is pure.

    Try to see yourself ... as God sees you. Not as a "loser", ... but as an OVERCOMER. You can't be an OVERCOMER, ... if you have no challenges to OVERCOME. You have OVERCOME great challenges ... to get to where you are today. Just think of all of the ways that the world has tried to kill you ... or stymie you ... and yet you still stand for God. In the end, that's all that will count ... that we STOOD for God, ... and LOVED each other as He LOVES us.

    You will continue to OVERCOME great challenges ... so long as you keep your hand in His. He will guide you through all of this, even as He guides all of His children.

    In the meantime, make sure that you and your husband apply for your unemployment compensation. That is the way many of us will get through this crisis. And stay safe. Wash your hands ...
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  10. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    My pastor's text from yesterday ...

    Go, my people, enter your rooms and shut your doors behind you. Hide yourselves a little while until the wrath has passed. Isaiah 26:20

    You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3
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  11. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    New Zealand
    Paragraph 1

    Thank Him for showing you He wants to sort your thinking out.


    He gives gifts talents and purpose to walk in. This is His personal expression of Love for you as He knows what you need better than you do. There is always a 'better best' to seek and walk in. He does however not force it on you. Your summary sounds like robotic fatalism rather than a relationship with a Loving God.


    His will is for you to succeed in His purpose. "The Lord is at work within you to will and to do His good purpose'. Phil 2:13


    You haven't reached the end of the book yet... For those who seek to walk in His will, He never waste's suffering. There is no shortcut to fruitfulness. Think Job, Joseph, Paul...


    The virus will pass quicker than that... Never doubt His ability to open just the right door for you.


    That recurring thought about not succeeding - get to a Pastor to deal with that lie.


    Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4

    This has a double meaning - He will put good desires within you - He will bring them to pass.
  12. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    Let's try. Is your life mapped out to fail? No. Especially for Christians, God has a plan for our lives that is all good - even if it seems not so good at times. It is conditional:

    ".....For the Gentiles strive after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.”…

    "These things" are our material needs. It took me a long time to come around to God's way of doing things in a number of areas. Since getting some of those sorted, my life is greatly blessed.

    When I was in the military, everything was provided. Food, uniforms, a weapon, a place to sleep and eat and medical care if required. All I had to do was follow orders. I even got paid! When I left, all that came to an end. If we will "sign up" to God's army, so to speak, He will take care of us. He's promised. Now the military life can be hard. You don't always want to go where they send you and it is an abnormal lifestyle. The Christian life can be difficult too. It will cut across our own ambitions and desires. If we will defer to God's will, we will be useful in His kingdom and be greatly blessed in the life to come. If not, we just get what we can obtain for ourselves. I've done it both ways. God's way is by far the best.
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  13. AllDayFaith

    AllDayFaith Active Member

    United States
    1) Sorry but the Bible clearly states that God has authored everything and He knows everything that will happen beforehand.
    2) You are made into His likeness, to worship and praise Him throughout all our days. We will share in His victory when He comes to destroy evil and bring peace and healing to all His beloved children.

    I'm trying to learn how to stop complaining about my situation, cause when we complain we are not trusting God to have our best interests at heart.
  14. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

    United States
    Jeremiah 29:11-13 New International Version (NIV)

    11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    Matthew 7:9-11 New International Version (NIV)
    9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
  15. miamited

    miamited Ted Supporter

    United States
    Hi LBF,

    I agree with @A_Thinker. God has laid out for all of us a choice. He started with Israel by telling them that they could choose the way of life or the way of death. The gospels are similarly clear that we each have a choice to make about what we're to do with Jesus. I'm not a predestinationist as in, every step of our life is mapped out. The Scriptures do tell us that God numbers our days, and that's about all I can find on the subject of our lives being predestined.

    What I read concerning predestination is that God, in ages past, predestined that those who would believe in the testimony and sacrifice of His Son, were predestined to eternal life. But there is that choice of believing in the Son before you become one of those predestined for eternal life. Others see it differently, but that's the way I understand the Scriptures on the subject.

    So, one can choose individually not to believe, not to go to work, not to strive for higher things. For the world is always striving for great and glorious goals, but the believer strives for those things that bring glory to God and righteousness in their lives.

    God bless,
    In Christ, ted
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  16. Amittai

    Amittai monitor evaluator

    United Kingdom
    Nearly everybody's life was far rougher, up to 70 years ago. People around us learned not to model realism.
  17. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

    United States
    What you are articulating is the philosophy of Predeterminism. One of the problems of this philosophy is that removes the responsibility an individual has to exercise their freewill. God has given you freewill do not let the devil take that away from you. God loves you and He wants the best for you. Put your hand in His hand and walk with Him. Trust Him to guild you. Blessings and Prayers to you.
  18. crossnote

    crossnote Berean Supporter

    United States
    The fact of the matter is that our reality involves BOTH the agency of man and God...

    Acts 4:26-28 KJV
    [26] The kings of the earth stood up, and the rulers were gathered together against the Lord, and against his Christ. [27] For of a truth against thy holy child Jesus, whom thou hast anointed, both Herod, and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles, and the people of Israel, were gathered together, [28] For to do whatsoever thy hand and thy counsel determined before to be done.
  19. Little Lantern

    Little Lantern Be encouraged! Christ has overcome the world! Supporter

    United States
    Romans 12:2 tells us to “ . . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Every one of us in the process of mind renewal, @LovebirdsFlying. It is a normal part of the Christian life. What a blessing that you can see places where your thinking is off. You are farther ahead than many.

    You have to go through the hard work of changing your thinking to line up with the Truth of God's Word. When you know that a thought or thought pattern is wrong, ask the Lord to show you His Truth on the matter. Find it in the Bible, and put that Truth into your head every time the lying thought shows up. 2 Corinthians 10:5 “ . . . take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” You might even write those Truths on little cards and stick them up where you can constantly rehearse them (out loud is best). Also, remember that Satan often uses other people to attack us with His lies. Sometimes they even come from a parent way back in our childhood (a number of mine did). Ask God to show you if this could be the case with you, too.

    Renewing the mind to God's Truth will take some time, BUT it absolutely does work because God's Word does not return to Him void. Isaiah 55:11, “so My word that proceeds from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will accomplish what I please, and it will prosper where I send it.”

    Every time you renew a thought, it's like removing a knotted thread. The more knots you remove, the more you free yourself from the entanglement of the enemy's lies. Once you're tangle free, you will be able to see a portion of the beautiful fabric God is making from your life!

    I have found that seeing God's love for me can often untangle several lies at once! When you know the love God has for you, Satan can no longer beat you down or pick at your God-given dignity with His lies because you'll see yourself from the truth of God's perspective.

    I am praying for you.
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  20. longwait

    longwait Well-Known Member

    Focus on your eternal life and not the one here which is nothing but an illusion. Look at everything now. What mattered so much before is not that important any more. I know things are hard and uncertain now. But if you focus too much on that you will sink & drown. So just stayed meditated on the Word of God and you will find solace there.
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