- Jun 28, 2017
- 193
- 328
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
lately I've been having unbelief. Really bad unbelief. I'm trying to beleive but I can't. I'm starting to question everything. It's bad, I cannot beleive. I'm trying but it seems so unreal. Now everything in this world seems unreal. I haven't repented in a while, I have become just Like Esau. I asked God not to make me like Esau when I had fellowship with him. But I guess he planned for me to become this. I'm exactly like Esau, I'm not sorry over my sin , but I don't want to go to hell. I take advantage of Gods kindness. I don't know how to be. It's crazy that this is where I got. I knew God was so angry at me, but I still didn't change. I want heaven but I don't want to repent?? I can't beleive I'm like Esau. This is horrible. I don't know if God can fix this. One time before I slept I felt something pushing down on my chest. Not in a sexual way, but In a caring way, like they were trying to heal my heart. But I quickly turned over because i was confused, I couldn't see what it was. What can change the situation I am in? Only God can. Will he change it? No. I'm damned.