Please Help Me

[Kinda confused]

Please everyone help me
i have such a simple question
Im taking my christianity really seriously now. I want make God proud of me by honouring him and making him happy and showing my faith
BUT
is it bad that my girlfriend (who i intend to marry one day) is not christian?
Is it an insult in God or will it upset him.
I want to help her see the light
but can we be boyfriend and girlfriend or will this upset God a lot.
Please help me im so confused!
ps. bible quotes helpful

MANY MANY THANKS IN ADVANCE

 

[Ryal Kane]

I'm not Christian so I can only give you opinion on the matter. There are many married couple with different religious beliefs. Some of the most reguler atheist posters on these boards have Christian partners. So long as they understand and respect each others beliefs it isn't a problem.

As for a Christian perspective, I can't say what God would say, but I don't recall ever coming across a Bible verse forbidding marriage to nonbelievers.

 

[Zaac]

Please everyone help me
i have such a simple question
Im taking my christianity really seriously now. I want make God proud of me by honouring him and making him happy and showing my faith
BUT
is it bad that my girlfriend (who i intend to marry one day) is not christian?
Is it an insult in God or will it upset him.
I want to help her see the light
but can we be boyfriend and girlfriend or will this upset God a lot.
Please help me im so confused!
ps. bible quotes helpful

MANY MANY THANKS IN ADVANCE

Kinda confused, it is great that you ask this question now rather than later. This is what God's Word says:

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."[c]
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."[d]
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."2 Corinthians 6 14:18

He says this because it will help you to avoid a lot of strife that is involved with being partnered with someone who does not submit to Him.

It is best, if she is not a Christian, for the two of you to just be friends.

 

[Jetgirl]

I can't speak from a Christian perpective, obviously, but here are two different scenarios that happened in my life that may shed some light on what I think is the most important point: Compatablilty of belief. NOT having identical beliefs, but compatable ones.

1. I dated a man for three years who was also an atheist, or claimed for that time to be one. While in the Air Force, and in close contact with his Mormon family he converted to Mormonism. He felt guilty about being "yolked to an unbeliever" and was very guilty and ashamed of any phsyical contact we had in the past (after being together for three years he wouldn't hold my hand because it was "lustful"). He demanded that to stay with him I convert (I'm an atheist), and we be married ASAP in the Mormon temple (which would exclude my entire family, of course), and that we would start having kids immediately (I was 21, in college, and not interested in children at the time).

This was totally incompatable, and after realizing that I would be flexible for him, but anything else but total capitulation out of me was unacceptable, I told him to hit the road.

2. I am still an atheist, but am engaged to a man who has a pagan/spiritual worldview, but we are completely compatable, because it it not necessary for him to have me share his exact philosophy in hope of salvation, and I, being pragmatic, can't deny that there are things out there that we don't understand yet.

Since both our views are heavily influenced by chaos math and quantum physics, we get along famously, though differing in our religious viewpoints.

Long story, was it any help?

 

[Nymphalidae]

Nobody needs to be told "I love you, but that's probably an insult to God."

 

[Jetgirl]

Nobody needs to be told "I love you, but that's probably an insult to God."

Yeah, it sucks. Trust me.

 

[Soul Searcher]

To the OP:

My advice would be to work this out between you and her. I think you would be making a big mistake to let any church or outsider make this decision for you.

 

[Blackguard_]

BUT

is it bad that my girlfriend (who i intend to marry one day) is not christian?

yes, very. Do want a repeat of the Religious Wars when you have kids?

Mom: "follow what you think is right kids, whether its Christianity or the Cult of Isis"
Dad: "Don't listen to your mother kids, Jesus is the only way!"

And that's the best case (most peaceful)scenario short of giving into your wife.

but can we be boyfriend and girlfriend or will this upset God a lot.

Boyfrirend and girlfreind in the common sense of "messing around with someone I may or may not have any intention of marrying" is bad whether both are Christian or not becasue having that much lust for someone you don't evwn know if you'll marry is bad.


My sugestion; be friends until she converts, then reconsider marriage(if you aren't seriously considering marrying her, don't date her).

 

[peepnklown]

This scenario sound familiar.

“I am really into my white race, and I want to make my white brothers happy, but I am dating a black girl. Can I still date a black girl even if my white family and friends don’t want me to mix with black people?

If you are deep into the Christian thing, dump her and get a Christian girl. In the end the non-believer girl will get tired of your Christian views and end up dumping you anyway. Stay with your kind.

 

[sanaa]

if u accept her for who she is and respect her decision if she chooses not to convert and strike a compromise that any future kids will be taught all world views and they can choose one for themselves when they are older , it might work . which religion does she belong to ?

 

[invisible trousers]

other than taking verses out of context by ignoring their original application and applying them to something totally different, there isn't anything in the bible which forbids you from marrying a non-believer.

if you two really do love eachother, i'm sure there could be a mutual decision made for your current situation and later if/when you two decide to have kids.

yes, very. Do want a repeat of the Religious Wars when you have kids?

Mom: "follow what you think is right kids, whether its Christianity or the Cult of Isis"
Dad: "Don't listen to your mother kids, Jesus is the only way!"

And that's the best case (most peaceful)scenario short of giving into your wife.

or in an alternate universe

mom: i don't go to church, but you are welcome to if you chose
dad: i go to church and i think it would be great if you came, but it's your decision

 

[dhiannian]

Please everyone help me
i have such a simple question
Im taking my christianity really seriously now. I want make God proud of me by honouring him and making him happy and showing my faith
BUT
is it bad that my girlfriend (who i intend to marry one day) is not christian?
Is it an insult in God or will it upset him.
I want to help her see the light
but can we be boyfriend and girlfriend or will this upset God a lot.
Please help me im so confused!
ps. bible quotes helpful

MANY MANY THANKS IN ADVANCE

Although I don't think it's the end of the world for you, you have to realize the your girlfriend may never become a christian, and if she doesn't you would have your children seeing her example and unbelief would have the confusion of you two not agreeing on a religion, and could make the choice of their mother and go the broad way to destruction.
I would say first of all you need to be an example of your faith to your girlfriend, If she knows that you should not be dating an unbeliever, or thinks you are living in sin, therefore you would be no different in her eyes, and she would see christianity as only extra rules in her life since you are just like her, and show no change in your life.
Or would assume since it made no major changes in your lifestyle, it then posesses no appeal Because it would have lost it's power.
And I think you need to tell her that you cannot raise children in a household full of religous confusion. And unfortunatly when a spoiled piece of fruit is put in with good fruit, the one bad one can spoil the whole bag.
My point is unless you are strong in your belief, she would be dangerous to you in your walk with God.

 

[BondmaidenOfChrist]

If you are strong in your belief ,then Christ is the center,or should be,the center of your life, right?
So think about it for a second.Would you be able to live with a woman,with whom you could not share the biggest part of your life with.Would she be understanding of the fact that God is the most important thing in your life, even before her?

Mabe with time she would convert to your beliefs...mabe not.Also what would happen if you did marry and you grow to love her deeply and then she never becomes a christian.You know what will happen to her when she dies,and the fact of knowing that she will not spend eternity with you would be more than a little dificult.

I would continue to be her friend and witness to her if at all possible but if she will not become a christian,I would be careful before going into a relationship with her.

Just my thoughts...

 

[Zaac]

To the OP:

My advice would be to work this out between you and her. I think you would be making a big mistake to let any church or outsider make this decision for you.

Bad advice. He is a Christian and his Christian brothers and sistes are supposed to give him God's truth. The church has not nor cannot make the decision for him. But it is to advise him utilizing the principles and commands of God as to what he is to do.

If she is not a Christian, it is best to keep the relationship at friendship. PERIOD. in so doing, perhaps the day will come when Christ will draw her to Himself and they can be in an equally yoked relationship.

Happens all the time.

 

[Zaac]

other than taking verses out of context by ignoring their original application and applying them to something totally different, there isn't anything in the bible which forbids you from marrying a non-believer.

if you two really do love eachother, i'm sure there could be a mutual decision made for your current situation and later if/when you two decide to have kids.

Christians are tasked to live by the principles and commands of a HOLY GOD and NOT the things that other people are sure of. God's Word directs the Christian not to be yoked to an unbeliever. And for those who misunderstand what the meaning of yoke is in the Scripture, it means you should not be joined to (similar to the agrarian use of the word) someone who does not believe.

 

[Zaac]

if u accept her for who she is and respect her decision if she chooses not to convert and strike a compromise that any future kids will be taught all world views and they can choose one for themselves when they are older , it might work . which religion does she belong to ?

Nope. He is a Christian and there is no compromise to be struck where God's Word is concerned.

He is to raise His kids up in Christ. And it would be sinful for him, as the head of his wife, to allow any view other than the Christian view to be taught to the kids for whom he is responsible by God.

 

[Zaac]

This scenario sound familiar.

“I am really into my white race, and I want to make my white brothers happy, but I am dating a black girl. Can I still date a black girl even if my white family and friends don’t want me to mix with black people?

If you are deep into the Christian thing, dump her and get a Christian girl. In the end the non-believer girl will get tired of your Christian views and end up dumping you anyway. Stay with your kind.

Apples and oranges. God's Word speaks to believers not being yoked to unbelievers. There is no prohibition in His Word about keeping races separate that has not been covered by the new law that was ushered in by the blood of Christ.

And if you're going to get into what the OT says, remember that it must be done in accordance with the New Testament.

 

[Soul Searcher]

Bad advice. He is a Christian and his Christian brothers and sistes are supposed to give him God's truth. The church has not nor cannot make the decision for him. But it is to advise him utilizing the principles and commands of God as to what he is to do.

If she is not a Christian, it is best to keep the relationship at friendship. PERIOD. in so doing, perhaps the day will come when Christ will draw her to Himself and they can be in an equally yoked relationship.

Happens all the time.

You may think that it was bad advice, I do not. It is his decision to make, beliefs can change both his and hers. The only thing that is truly imporant is how they feel about one another and how well they get along. If they love each other and can get along other things will fall into place. Provided of course they do not let outsiders tell them how and who they should love.

And just for clearity my wife is not a christian but we are happy and have been for many years now.

Edit to add:My brother took the advice of his church, rejected more than one because of difference in beliefs then finally married a girl from his church. It does not seem to be going well for him.

 

[Jetgirl]

Nope. He is a Christian and there is no compromise to be struck where God's Word is concerned.

And Zaac, of course, having his own direct phone line to God's front office, is best suited to be telling young people how to live their lives.

 

[Zaac]

You may think that it was bad advice, I do not. Provided of course they do not let outsiders tell them how and who they should love.

.

You don't have to. "The message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Co 1:18 ANd am I saying that you are perishing? Nope.

It is his decision to make, beliefs can change both his and hers.

Yes indeed it is his decision to make. But this silly New Age advice that you are giving is STILL bad advice.

If he is a Christian, His belief in the Word of God ain't gonna change because he has an understanding that Jesus Christ-the Word-DOES NOT CHANGE.

The only thing that is truly imporant is how they feel about one another and how well they get along.

If he is a Christian, the most important thing is that He glorify Christ. How he feels about her and how they get along is a distant second.

If he is not glorifying Christ in the relationship, he does not need to be in it.

If they love each other and can get along other things will fall into place.

God is a God of order, not a God of things falling in place. If it's done in His order, you don't have to look for things to fall in place.

And just for clearity my wife is not a christian but we are happy and have been for many years now

If you are a Christian and your wife is not, the fact that you are happy and have been for years does not change the fact that you disobeyed God and did what you wanted to instead of what He says.

If your relationship with your wife is more important than your obedience to God, question who you are really serving.