selfinflikted
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- Jul 13, 2006
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I still want to know what part of a platonic friendship can only happen in bed?
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Being close to each other until you fall asleep and waking up together (the other person being there immediately by your side when you wake up), just to name the most obvious.I still want to know what part of a platonic friendship can only happen in bed?
Being close to each other until you fall asleep and waking up together (the other person being there immediately by your side when you wake up), just to name the most obvious.
I'm a little clueless why the particularities and the beauty of this sort of closeness are so hard to fathom for most everyone here.
Hi Kylissa, I am aware that you didn´t ask me but the original poster; besides, I have never been married but in committed partnerships. I´d like to respond - however, if my response is not welcome feel free to ignore it.
1. Even if everything I would get from another person were what I could get from my partner as well - when/if my partner isn´t here a need remains unfulfilled that a person who is there can fulfil.
2., and more importantly: Every person is different, every relationship/friendship between two persons is different from that between two other persons. So yes: other people than my committed partner/spouse can do different things for me than my partner/spouse; plus they can give me the same things but differently.
Personally, I wouldn´t know why only discussions are "more full" when I have them with different persons. Pretty much everything is different when you share it with different persons and get something back from them, i.e. "more full".
As for me: The romantic idea of partners being able to give everything to each other (and indeed this concept has never been around until romanticism) is a completely unrealistic one. For me, clinging to this idea is the red flag for a partnership/marriage.
I fail to see the need for a non-romantically involved couple to be close to each until they fall asleep and wake up together. Particularly when one of them is married to someone else.
Well, I didn´t answer (and didn´t mean to answer) to the question:I fail to see the need for a non-romantically involved couple to be close to each until they fall asleep and wake up together.
See my response to Hedda. I meant to answer your question, not to defend that there is a need to do this.Exactly, this.
Because that's a romantic experience. If that desire isn't being satisfied by your spouse, then there's a problem.Being close to each other until you fall asleep and waking up together (the other person being there immediately by your side when you wake up), just to name the most obvious.
I´m a little clueless why the particularities and the beauty of this sort of closeness are so hard to fathom for most everyone here.
It doesn´t mean that it isn´t satisfied, though.Because that's a romantic experience. If that desire isn't being satisfied by your spouse, then there's a problem.
No, I couldn't care less if the wife has given her permission. It seems moral enough to me. I just don't understand why it would be done in a closed marriage.Now, everyone is free to feel a moral imperative to abstain from having such experiences with someone else, and to leave certain experiences unmade - for whatever reason. But that wasn´t the question to which I answered.
As you don't have the 'married' icon, I suspect that the fact that you don't have a spouse probably colors your opinion.That doesn´t mean, though, that there aren´t any non-sexual valuable experiences to be had with different persons, in a bed or elsewhere.
And the fact that your spouse isn´t someone else than your spouse isn´t a problem, in my book.
Sure, just like the fact that you are married colours your opinion. So I´m not sure how that´s relevant.As you don't have the 'married' icon, I suspect that the fact that you don't have a spouse probably colors your opinion.
Well, that´s between you and your SO.IMO, as a married woman, if a person is either married or has a SO in a 'closed' marriage or relationship (as cearbhall puts it) then it is a problem if your SO is "looking for experiences with different persons, in a bed or elsewhere."
Well, I felt I had explained it and given examples.No, I couldn't care less if the wife has given her permission. It seems moral enough to me. I just don't understand why it would be done in a closed marriage.
Ah, so if a person doesn't want to "handle" their SO spending time in bed with another person, they're immature. Got it.Besides, if I have a problem with something that doesn´t necessarily mean that there´s something wrong with it. It may just point to the fact that I am not mature enough to handle it.
Well, I felt I had explained it and given examples.
And in return I only got replies that pointed out how the SO should be able to cover all the needs, how two people who allow each other such experiences have a problem, etc.
Fact is that in every area there are countless guys who can do things better than I can. Thus, if my partner feels that experiencing someone else´s approach than mine is fulfilling I find that completely logical and understandable. It may hurt to be shown that I am not the one-and-only she needs and who can do everything best, that I am not all that my partner needs - but nonetheless it´s not really a surprise.