I’ve life-hacked my way to lifestyle design unintentionally. One day I realized I could have the life I wanted. It wasn’t down the road or after retirement. I could have it now.
I had three criteria: It had to feed my person, purpose, or passions. If it didn’t it had to go. I could devote the time to something that mattered instead of wasting it. The more I streamlined the happier I became and my peace increased. And so did flow. If you haven’t read Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi I recommend him.
No I haven't! I'll need to check out his work.
Sounds like something that would be right up my alley.
I began viewing my life through seasons. Each has its purpose which aids the greater mission. In season one I devoted myself to aiding the downtrodden and broken. Helping them heal and see the road ahead and walk it.
Now I’m in season two and the theme is impact. I’m shifting gears and lending a hand to works in process and others further ahead. Encouragement and collaborations are the norm. That carries me towards the third which is legacy. You’ve reached your summit and it propels you to greater works which benefit the ones behind you.
That’s my life blueprint in the nutshell. I wake up raring to go. That’s worth living for.
Hmmm... It sounds like you've given your life a great deal of thought and planning. That's only been more of a recent thing for me. I've heard it said that every 7 years or so, all the cells in your body will have been completely replaced by new cells, and that the old person you once were will have been replaced by someone else. This seems to have been true for me, at least.
If my life were split into seasons, season one would be one boring and depressing show to watch, hah!
I learned how to delude myself pretty damn well, and to isolate myself from the rest of the world via escapism. When I look back at the man I was versus the man I am now, it's hard for me to understand just what I was thinking. Back then I was convinced I understood everything, and that it was just my destiny to endure the existence I, and my environment, had set for itself. I was pretty much living in a four walled world.
Season two would be me finally realizing just how stupid I had been, and finally starting to reach out and start taking risks. Without any real direction, and real understanding of the greater world around me, I was still in an unhealthy place. It didn't help either that my life was intertwined with someone who was also in an unhealthy state. A good 7 years were spent with this person, but I realised that the more I reached out, the more she retreated within herself. She tried to isolate me as well and keep me from wandering too far, so one day I had to just cut ties and go. That was a hard choice to make, but nothing in life of value is ever easy.
That would take me to season three... This season is about me taking those mistakes learned and actually using them to become a fully functioning adult in society.
Grabbing life by the balls and running with it! A good career and a steady way of life are helping in that regard, but needless to say, life is good. Now it's time to push that to it's utmost.
What will season four have in store? I don't know yet. I have my goals I am working towards, so I plan on pushing my career further, and involving myself in helping the community in some way as I have in the past. I'm definitely in a good place now; especially in reference to where I have been, so I'm not opposed to sharing life with someone and seeing where that goes in the future!
Ultimately, though, the way you speak of fighting for your life does resonate with me. It's something I've come to understand very well.
Enemies are inevitable when you threaten someone’s position. Oftentimes it isn’t the stance that causes problems. It’s our approach or essence that unsettles them. The greater your esteem and confidence the more you’ll ruffle feathers. Unless you’re very combative we’re more likely to have adversaries because of who we are than what we’ve done to others.
I don’t have to fight for my convictions. There’s no one attempting to derail me or undermine my efforts. Team bella is a collective. It isn’t me going it alone and trying to make my mark on the world. Everyone has a role to play. I value their support. My success is theirs as well. I didn’t get here by myself. I had a lot help.
When you invite people into the process and allow them to share the journey they’re happy to assist. They’re excited for you. And you reward them. I’m blessed to have a solid network of love and support. It’s made everything sweeter.
I feel that too! The support systems we build around ourselves make a big difference. Thankfully, mine have always been real honest with me, so that even if I don't always agree with their criticisms, I still get an unfiltered idea of their perspective... Honesty is such a valuable thing.
Still, the pendulum does swing. It's always been hard for me to ask for or accept help (I can be stubborn), but it's an important thing to do from time to time. I just have to remind myself that the pendulum does swing the other way, so there are times I get to return the favor. There's no shame in asking for help, and if anything, it engenders a stronger friendship when folks realize you trust them. Meh... I don't like debts though, so I repay mine ASAP.
I agree. But that’s our thing. Some people are driven by other stuff. And that’s okay.
You don’t have to be complex to be a commander. You must master yourself to be great. We’re our biggest hindrance. We have to be willing to ask hard questions.
- How am I helping the mission?
- How am I sabotaging my dreams?
- What am I lacking?
- What do I need to change but I’m too afraid to try?
- How do I want to be remembered?
If we face the music we’ll soar.
~bella
That's the key, there. In asking hard questions, we learn just how little we know. I do find that more exciting than anything else, though. I hope there never is a day when I think I've learned all that there is.
Your questions are ones I ask myself, too. I think they are good questions for anyone to ask themselves regardless of their personality types, because they ultimately serve to make anyone a better person. I think the only thing I might add to that is that I do ask myself if I'm fooling myself. Intellectual honesty is more than just realizing that I could be lying to myself; it's also in changing that behavior when I realize it's happening; even if I don't like those changes. Epistemology has been useful in that endeavor.
Again, thank you for taking the time to give an in depth response. I always love getting the opportunity to pick your brain a little; I feel like your insight is valuable. You're someone I respect.