[PERMANENTLY CLOSED] I am an 18 yr old Christian and this much older man really likes me -?

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Albion

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Speaking as an older woman, I don't think women regard others that way; no woman is a 'born tease'. That is a male perspective.
Maybe the expression is, but I know older women who are all too ready to think that a younger woman who doesn't forcibly reject someone like the man described in the OP is, therefore, enjoying the act of leading him on. Call this by whatever term you think best, but yes, some women from another generation can be very gossipy in that way and quite unfair.
 
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Lazy_Proverb

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Sounds like he's a predator in church.
When you tolerate his inappropriate contact you're sending him a message that you're OK with his behavior. For a predator that is the green light to continue his pursuit.
Stop!
Next time he makes his move, step back and put your hand up so he can't mistake your actions. Tell him in a firm voice while looking him in the eyes that you don't feel comfortable with his touching you as he does. And to please stop.
Wait and see how he responds. If he whines and makes excuses and attempts to persuade you to relent you've got a serious predator on your hands.

Talk to your pastor and ask him to intercede with this parishioner. And whatever you do, don't be persuaded by that 50 something to meet him so he can apologize for making you uncomfortable.
Predators aren't only on the Internet. They're in churches too. Stay safe. Be careful.


 
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Reading through, his behavior does sound disturbing. Taking advantage of impressionable young girls/women with difficult backgrounds or current problems, isolation etc is far too easy for these seasoned predators. Being in a church environment adds another element of 'trust', and others may be wary of making remarks because of this.

Please avoid this man, stick with other women of the congregation - who themselves should have warned or counselled you...

Be civil and polite, but keep a distance, don't allow any physical contact and hopefully he will get the message. I would still speak with the priest or elders about your concerns, let them keep an eye on the situation for your safety.

Don't allow anyone to assert promiscuity or 'leading on', you are only 18 years old and this man knows better.
 
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Catherineanne

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Gossip I grant you; yes. Far too much of that.
 
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fat wee robin

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Entirely agree ,and it makes me queasy to think that they have not told him off ,
severely . You need to find another Church .It is not safe for you there .
 
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fat wee robin

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Hi


I have a feeling you are leading him on. STOP IT.you allow him to get too close and seem to enjoy it.
stop playing games .
MADERA
Perhaps you need to examine your judgemental position . Innocent
and well intentioned people hate to hurt others , often to their own detriment;They find it hard to believe that people are really that cynical and selfish :until they learn the hard way .
 
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AngelhairFlowingthere

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LOLOLOLOL
 
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AngelhairFlowingthere

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"Innocent and well intentioned" .... If you are referring to me, you just told me that I enjoy leading this man on?
 
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AngelhairFlowingthere

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Oh sorry fat wee robin! I thought you were Madera again... She doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
 
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madera23

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And you could be just as cruel by judging a man who could be innocent, Oh you religious bigots.
 
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I will talk to my pastor - I trust in him- I know he will have a man to man.
Quite right. As shepherd of the local congregation, part of the pastor's job is to protect those in his care from predators.

That happened once at the congregation I attended in college. A few minutes after the service one of the elders stood up on a chair and called out a guy by name who was doing that very thing at the back of the room. Right in front of everyone, so all knew the game he was playing. That ended his conquests right then and there.
 
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