People who use God as a reason to show they aren't interested

[brinny]

Well, it's rather moot since I'm not naming names....just experiences.

But this is what this singles area of the forum is about, at least partly. One of which is talking about your dating experiences with those with shared beliefs.

It's not moot at all.

What you post reveals why there's a pattern of "not interested's".

'jus sayin'.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:" ~Pr 18:24

 

[blackribbon]

If you are asking and not getting positive responses, then I suspect that it is time to have someone who you know well honestly help see what is wrong with your approach or if you are approaching the wrong audience of women.

The world is full of women who are dying to be asked out...you just have to find the ones who are looking for a man like you. You seem to be fishing in the wrong pond.

 

[ReesePiece23]

To be honest, it shouldn't ever need to reach a point where a woman is having to find an excuse to say no to you. Women are usually pretty good at telling you how they feel - in their own way of course.

Biggest clues:

THEY initiate, huddle up close to you (i.e. stands in the 'intimate zone'), glare at you from across the room and act child-like in your presence. Of course, this varies from age group to age group, but from my experience, if I see these signs, then I know I'm IN. If not, then I do not pursue under any circumstances.

 

[usexpat97]

I once had a girl say twice that "she was not ready for a relationship right now. She needed to focus on God."

Well! Who am I ever then to question GOD!!

Then again, it could be phooey. I was turned off by the hypocrisy. Because first, I don't know what this "being let down easy" stuff is. Being lied to is disrespectful. But second, being lied to AND bringing God's name into it is taking the Lord's name in vain, in the purest sense.

No matter. The end result is the same. For me, at least.

 

[exitstageright]

I agree a lot of women can be not honest in these situations. But as with most things it's not all women. Maybe sometimes they fear the reaction? There's men out there who might even physically attack a woman because she was outright honest to him about not being interested. People can react badly, so while we might take it on the chin some might not

Well….who are raising these boys? Fathers should tell their sons,"Just because you like someone,does not mean that she will like you in return. She does not owe you anything! If a girl or a young lady rejects you,then move on.She has just as much of a right to say, "no",as she has to say "yes".A rejection is not the end of the world!"
Maybe,I am different. I have been rejected by girls and women. Sure,I was disappointed. But, I never even conceived the thought of doing any physical harm to her. Because she rejected me. This,harming someone who rejects you,does not make any sense! I would not want someone,whom I have rejected, to harm me. I do try live by the Golden Rule.

 

[exitstageright]

To be honest, it shouldn't ever need to reach a point where a woman is having to find an excuse to say no to you. Women are usually pretty good at telling you how they feel - in their own way of course.

Biggest clues:

THEY initiate, huddle up close to you (i.e. stands in the 'intimate zone'), glare at you from across the room and act child-like in your presence. Of course, this varies from age group to age group, but from my experience, if I see these signs, then I know I'm IN. If not, then I do not pursue under any circumstances.

Why, oh why, boys are not taught these things from their dads and/or moms? As an analogy,once I knew what the "rules" in math were, I became good at solving math problems.If these social subjects were taught to me by my parents ,and at my High School's Family Life Classes,that I had. I would have been spared a whole lot of grief,when I was a young man.When I was a young man,I did truly listened to my parents and older people.

 

[usexpat97]

In the age of #MeToo movement, women have all the rights in the dating game, and men have none. Boys being wrong for ever putting a girl in the position of even saying "no" is getting a little ridiculous. If a girl lies, and brings in the Lord's name in the process, I'm sorry, but the girl is wrong.

 

[blackribbon]

In the age of #MeToo movement, women have all the rights in the dating game, and men have none. Boys being wrong for ever putting a girl in the position of even saying "no" is getting a little ridiculous. If a girl lies, and brings in the Lord's name in the process, I'm sorry, but the girl is wrong.

So cross her off the list of women you want to date. She will be happy. However without information otherwise, you will never know if she is telling the truth. The best thing is to not obsess when a women says no thank you. Move on.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

If you are asking and not getting positive responses, then I suspect that it is time to have someone who you know well honestly help see what is wrong with your approach or if you are approaching the wrong audience of women.

The world is full of women who are dying to be asked out...you just have to find the ones who are looking for a man like you. You seem to be fishing in the wrong pond.

Nothing wrong, because eventually I'll get a woman that's interested like I have so in the past. They are few and far between...but eventually it will be mutual interest. I just live in an area of rather shallow women....because most of the women I've dated, had expressed they are more into personality than looks and status. There's lack of humility these days, so it's a rare find to find someone of substance that will even give you a chance.

Like if you're not 6 feet tall, women will toss you out of the running.

A lot of women I come across in real life, are typically married or have a boyfriend....at least they say they have a boyfriend.

Anyways, I think we've gotten pretty much off track when it's really about using God's name in vein to turn down a guy, when she could just do what most women should do, "Sorry, I only think of you as a friend" or "I don't think of you in that way".

See, very simple. Not sure how we got off track, but that's typical of message boards. It goes from "Using God's name to reject" and then spinning it on the guy somehow to "You must be doing something wrong to get these women to turn you down"

Not sure how off topic this got. I can understand going the direction of the whole "Afraid how a man would react", that's how I can see it's staying on topic.

Now it's like, "So what is it you're doing that's making women use the God excuse?"

That's not the point. Quit spinning it.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Why, oh why, boys are not taught these things from their dads and/or moms? As an analogy,once I knew what the "rules" in math were, I became good at solving math problems.If these social subjects were taught to me by my parents ,and at my High School's Family Life Classes,that I had. I would have been spared a whole lot of grief,when I was a young man.When I was a young man,I did truly listened to my parents and older people.

I think it's just a sign of the times. People are more cryptic and less direct these days.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Like if you're not 6 feet tall, women will toss you out of the running.

I think it's far more important to establish an emotional connection early. Wait for them to talk about something they care about, then connect with them momentarily before walking away.

Trust me, this is more powerful than height will ever be. They will want MORE from you. You could even compliment them on their profound view on something, but it must be fleeting.

Never tell them how pretty they are. Always go for something intellectual.

 

[exitstageright]

If you are asking and not getting positive responses, then I suspect that it is time to have someone who you know well honestly help see what is wrong with your approach or if you are approaching the wrong audience of women.

The world is full of women who are dying to be asked out...you just have to find the ones who are looking for a man like you. You seem to be fishing in the wrong pond.

Many women,in the Philippines,are very accepting,and are asking to be asked out.And,they do not care even if a man is middle-aged and/or overweight.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Many women,in the Philippines,are very accepting,and are asking to be asked out.And,they do not care even if a man is middle-aged and/or overweight.

Yep....a male friend of mine, pushing 50, married a beautiful early 30-something woman. He had 2 kids from a previous marriage, she was never married. She wanted kids, he did not...so she went ahead and married him with the agreement to not have kids.

They met on a mission trip a while ago while he had been at the Philippines. Apparently, they had been pen-paling it for a while...I didn't even know about this woman, as we were hanging out at Meetups and he'd been dating women locally from the events.

Then one day I see, "engaged" on his FB profile, and I said, "Hey, I don't recall you even DATING someone...what gives?!"

That's when he told me about the Filipina. I guess he kept it a secret.

 

[MehGuy]

Sounds blasphemous. Attributing something to God he did not say. Some might even construe that as blasphemy of the holy spirit which is unforgivable. She might have ruined her eternal soul in the process of rejecting you.

 

[blackribbon]

Nothing wrong, because eventually I'll get a woman that's interested like I have so in the past. They are few and far between...but eventually it will be mutual interest. I just live in an area of rather shallow women....because most of the women I've dated, had expressed they are more into personality than looks and status. There's lack of humility these days, so it's a rare find to find someone of substance that will even give you a chance.

Like if you're not 6 feet tall, women will toss you out of the running.

A lot of women I come across in real life, are typically married or have a boyfriend....at least they say they have a boyfriend.

Anyways, I think we've gotten pretty much off track when it's really about using God's name in vein to turn down a guy, when she could just do what most women should do, "Sorry, I only think of you as a friend" or "I don't think of you in that way".

See, very simple. Not sure how we got off track, but that's typical of message boards. It goes from "Using God's name to reject" and then spinning it on the guy somehow to "You must be doing something wrong to get these women to turn you down"

Not sure how off topic this got. I can understand going the direction of the whole "Afraid how a man would react", that's how I can see it's staying on topic.

Now it's like, "So what is it you're doing that's making women use the God excuse?"

That's not the point. Quit spinning it.

saying "no thank you" isn't a rejection...I consider a rejection to be more personal and more intentional...I don't reject a friend if I say "I'd rather stay home tonight than catch a movie with you"...I don't reject my boss if I say "no thank you to picking up an extra shift"... rejection is ...."now that I have gotten to know you, I really don't have any interest is wasting my time by going out with you anymore... Rejection is more than "hurt feelings" because someone didn't accept an invitation for a first date.

 

[blackribbon]

Many women,in the Philippines,are very accepting,and are asking to be asked out.And,they do not care even if a man is middle-aged and/or overweight.

Especially if they think the middle-aged overweight man has money and can get them a citizenship in the US...All the Filipino women I know here in the US are married to Filipino men, so it isn't a natural attraction to Americans...they are willing to compromise to get what they want. (I believe that at least 1/3 of my unit's staff is Filipino so I am not talking about 2 or 3. They also get together frequently with each other...speak in Tagalog to leave others out of the conversation...and fly home to the Philippines for a couple weeks every year.)

 

[exitstageright]

Especially if they think the middle-aged overweight man has money and can get them a citizenship in the US...All the Filipino women I know here in the US are married to Filipino men, so it isn't a natural attraction to Americans...they are willing to compromise to get what they want. (I believe that at least 1/3 of my unit's staff is Filipino so I am not talking about 2 or 3. They also get together frequently with each other...speak in Tagalog to leave others out of the conversation...and fly home to the Philippines for a couple weeks every year.)

What you wrote is very true. But,when I was in the US Navy,many of the Filipino women patients were married to American men.

"They also get together frequently with each other...speak in Tagalog to leave others out of the conversation."

That is one of the main reasons for me gaining weight,when I was married to a Filipina. At the family parties,they all were speaking Tagalog, and Ilocano. I was left out of the conversations. Since Filipino food taste great,while being left out of the conversations, I would tell myself, "What the heck, I will just eat something."

 

[ThisIsMe123]

saying "no thank you" isn't a rejection...I consider a rejection to be more personal and more intentional...I don't reject a friend if I say "I'd rather stay home tonight than catch a movie with you"...I don't reject my boss if I say "no thank you to picking up an extra shift"... rejection is ...."now that I have gotten to know you, I really don't have any interest is wasting my time by going out with you anymore... Rejection is more than "hurt feelings" because someone didn't accept an invitation for a first date.

What the heck are you talking about? A rejection is simply being turned down for a date. Ie - "no thank you". You lost me, man. Seriously.

 

[exitstageright]

saying "no thank you" isn't a rejection...I consider a rejection to be more personal and more intentional...I don't reject a friend if I say "I'd rather stay home tonight than catch a movie with you"...I don't reject my boss if I say "no thank you to picking up an extra shift"... rejection is ...."now that I have gotten to know you, I really don't have any interest is wasting my time by going out with you anymore... Rejection is more than "hurt feelings" because someone didn't accept an invitation for a first date.

Saying "no" to your boss is a rejection. Because,you are turning down his or her request or wish that you would work overtime. Rejection is not letting someone get what they want.Rejection is just a part of life. Say, even Jesus was rejected by the religious leaders when he was here walking on the Earth.

 

[exitstageright]

What the heck are you talking about? A rejection is simply being turned down for a date. Ie - "no thank you". You lost me, man. Seriously.

FYI,ThisIsMe123,Balckribbon is a woman.