Pedophiles

[Angelwarrioress]

Before I got saved I went to this shop with this gay friend I used to know. They had this back room where they were looking at magazines of barely legal young men. I agree homosexuality is between two consenting adults and being a pedophile is non consent. However, this whole room was filled with those magazines and it really creeped me out. This was supposed to be an upstanding shop in the gay community !

 

[Spinrad]

Wow.

 

[Caylin]

Before I got saved I went to this shop with this gay friend I used to know. They had this back room where they were looking at magazines of barely legal young men. I agree homosexuality is between two consenting adults and being a pedophile is non consent. However, this whole room was filled with those magazines and it really creeped me out. This was supposed to be an upstanding shop in the gay community !

Straight porn has barely leagal young women in it too.

 

[NateBlack]

Before I got saved I went to this shop with this gay friend I used to know. They had this back room where they were looking at magazines of barely legal young men. I agree homosexuality is between two consenting adults and being a pedophile is non consent. However, this whole room was filled with those magazines and it really creeped me out. This was supposed to be an upstanding shop in the gay community !

Are you suggesting that there aren't magazines targeted for heterosexual men who like "barely legal" girls?

I agree with you though... gay or straight... the older/younger thing is creepy.

 

[TeddyKGB]

Are you suggesting that pedophilic acts are not violent, destructive or traumatizing?

Although they often are, they don't have to be, do they?

I think my definition is essentially the same as yours and adds the impact of the actions.

"The impact of the actions" is a case-by-case evaluation. It depends on the reaction of the child more than on the mental state of the pedophile.

 

[kiwimac]

The whole "older/Younger" thing has to do with modern society's virtual worship of young folk.

Kiwimac

 

[NateBlack]

Although they often are, they don't have to be, do they?

"The impact of the actions" is a case-by-case evaluation. It depends on the reaction of the child more than on the mental state of the pedophile.

yikes. I may not be understanding you correctly, but it seems that you're opening a loophole where pedophilia might be ok?

Are there any therapists or social workers who could comment with some authority on this issue?

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

I see some of the responces don't find pedophilia to be all that bad. Pedophilia isn't just older men or women finding 14-18 year olds (who may or may not be willing to engage in activity) attractive. Vicitms can be as young as 2 or 3 months old. Any child cooerced, no matter how little violence may be involved is tramatized and scared for life. Many have a hard time later with intimacy and trust. They can become "stuck" at the age they were molested in the way of sexual maturity and that is why they find children acceptable partners instead of adults. Just as there is a diffrence between rape and sex there is a difference between molestation and concentual sex.

My experience with pedophiles is probation officer for juveniles for seven years. Some of my clients were victims and some were victims who had committed offences. Children older than 12 were not rehabilitatible even though we still sent them to sexual offender programs. My youngest offender was 8 (molesting 5 year olds).

 

[Spinrad]

OHMYGOSHIDIDNTKNOWTHAT
Please.

 

[Dracil]

I think everyone is clear we're talking about modern times... or if we're not clear, let me direct the conversation to a discussion of these topics as they relate to current cultural norms & values.

And I'm saying sex in and of itself, with young people, is not traumatizing, regardless of when we're talking about. The past is a direct counter-example to the arguments stating otherwise. Rather, it is society and culture that tells them they're supposed to be traumatized that makes it traumatizing.

 

[faster_jackrabbit]

I see some of the responces don't find pedophilia to be all that bad. Pedophilia isn't just older men or women finding 14-18 year olds (who may or may not be willing to engage in activity) attractive. Vicitms can be as young as 2 or 3 months old.

So maybe there shouldn't be a single word to cover the entire range of ages.

 

[TeddyKGB]

yikes. I may not be understanding you correctly, but it seems that you're opening a loophole where pedophilia might be ok?

The whole concept is chock full of loopholes to begin with. Is a 19-year-old who is attracted to a mature-looking 14-year-old a pedophile?

Now, I don't think much good can come from a sexual relationship between a 35-year-old man and a 10-year-old girl. But clearly that is a narrow instance of the concept, and is insufficient to declare all pedophilia "bad."

Are there any therapists or social workers who could comment with some authority on this issue?

Why bother? You've already opened the door for non-experts with your opinion-filled definition.

 

[Corran]

Pedophile: An adult who is sexually attracted to a child or children

How is being sexually attracted to a child wrong? Simply finding some one attracting does not constitute a wrong acting on this attraction however does (Via sexual interaction or use of child porn). Also since one does not choose there sexuality it is even less fair to blame someone of being a pedophile. Remember there is a big differance between thought and act.

 

[faster_jackrabbit]

And I'm saying sex in and of itself, with young people, is not traumatizing, regardless of when we're talking about. The past is a direct counter-example to the arguments stating otherwise. Rather, it is society and culture that tells them they're supposed to be traumatized that makes it traumatizing.

"Oh, you poor baby. I am so sorry someone made a fool of you. What he made you do was so incredibly terrible, and I am sorry you will have to be ashamed for the rest of your life."

"I will?"

 

[Dracil]

So maybe there shouldn't be a single word to cover the entire range of ages.

Technically there are more words. Unfortunately, "pedophilia" has been co-opted to mean the entire non-adult age range, just like "pro-life" has been co-opted to mean anti-abortion, even though it would also be anti-death penalty, anti-euthanasia, etc.

In the case of the word "pedophilia" however, it is almost impossible to use it correctly without someone reading it as meaning more than it should mean.

For example, ephebophilia is actually probably more common, and legal in many countries. Then again, from what I understand, the "pedophile" priests were actually mostly ephebophiles.

Notes: Pedophilia, used properly, refers to pre-pubescent children.
Ephebophilia, is post-pubescent, but not adults.
There is also Nepiophilia, or Infantophilia, for the ages between 0-3.

 

[sparklecat]

Before I got saved I went to this shop with this gay friend I used to know. They had this back room where they were looking at magazines of barely legal young men. I agree homosexuality is between two consenting adults and being a pedophile is non consent. However, this whole room was filled with those magazines and it really creeped me out. This was supposed to be an upstanding shop in the gay community !

As Dracil just mentioned, pedophilia is attraction to pre-pubescent children. 'Barely legal' is years off that in most countries.


Personally, I see nothing at all wrong with being attracted to and acting on an attraction to anyone over the age of puberty, if they are consenting, regardless of what the legal age may be.

 

[NateBlack]

Personally, I see nothing at all wrong with being attracted to and acting on an attraction to anyone over the age of puberty, if they are consenting, regardless of what the legal age may be.

The issue of consent is very important.

Can a child give consent to someone twice their age(or older)?

Can a child identify and overcome the manipulation of an adult?

Would the child's consent be authentic or would it be gained through manipulation/coersion?

Age of consent laws help assure a child has the cognitive ablility to give genunine consent.

http://www.cssm.ca/sk/Staff/Forms/CYP_App-SK06-05.pdf

 

[Dracil]

Speaking of age of consent, a list of them can be found at www.ageofconsent.com

 

[LouTheWicked]

A child wouldn't really know what was going on if an adult approached them like that, they could very well be quite frightened and disturbed by it.

I think there are people out there who feel attraction to children, but are strong enough not to act upon it. I don't condemn them and hope they recieve whatever help they can get.

The ones who do however, are a different matter...

 

[AlanGurvey]

The whole concept is chock full of loopholes to begin with. Is a 19-year-old who is attracted to a mature-looking 14-year-old a pedophile?

Thats pedastry, thats different.