Paranoia

[Bridgida]

I think since childhood, that other people talk bad about me. That I never can trust people. That everyone talks bad about me. That is where ever I go. There is not a safe place in this world for me.

At times it really stressed me out and of course broke my heart.
It is torture, a modern form of torture. So the medication helps to keep me less hurt and calm.

As usual I talk to God about my problems and yesterday he said or it came up in my head quite extensive in the foreground, that I should write a diary about it. "Because it should not be like this", that it is abnormal behavior. I thought then to write a diary, and write everything down even if it doesn't make any sense in order to find out how to heal it.

 

[Bridgida]

There are 2 believes. Like in psychology they believe that many thought we have, we should not trust. Our head is running 24 hours and so lots of thoughts are useless. I got a book about paranoia from a psychologist and it helps.

Where in psychic development, all thought, experiences and feelings have a meaning. They are real! And a trained psychic knows what to do with them I think. One part to learn this is for me to manage my days, not to deal with other peoples dead relatives. I don't care about this, just as with higher senses I have, to be able to control them better.

I know a homestudy course that I am able to pay, otherwise free courses. On the other hand asking these people is actually useless. Doreen Virtue wrote that everything becomes a meaning around you. Where God said we should not know everything, we don't have to. He is in control of this.

 

[Bridgida]

In the moment I hear noises in my flat. I should actually do and sit and work on a course I have booked and need to write down answers. So means to learn for at least 2 hours. By writing this the noises is gone and I feel suddenly released from repression.

 

[Bridgida]

In a free coures one person calls it free intuitive development. That sounds much better instead of psychic development.

 

[Bridgida]

Intuitive feelings or insights are mostly right, where with paranoia it is mostly wrong! Or?
Instead of having right intuitive insights, I have wrong insights?

 

[timewerx]

I think since childhood, that other people talk bad about me. That I never can trust people. That everyone talks bad about me. That is where ever I go. There is not a safe place in this world for me.

At times it really stressed me out and of course broke my heart.
It is torture, a modern form of torture. So the medication helps to keep me less hurt and calm.

As usual I talk to God about my problems and yesterday he said or it came up in my head quite extensive in the foreground, that I should write a diary about it. "Because it should not be like this", that it is abnormal behavior. I thought then to write a diary, and write everything down even if it doesn't make any sense in order to find out how to heal it.

I used to have this problem up to my late twenties. It made me hate social gatherings.

A few years later, I ran into some huge problems in life...one of them is I lost my lifesavings, I even lost my job, etc. I took a misguided risk.

I became so broke. I went to failures upon failures. I messed up so bad, I feel like I don't matter anymore.

Surprisingly, those problems actually cured my paranoia....Because I feel so non-existent, I actually gained confidence, lots of confidence because of it! Over-confidence maybe. Because I feel like I have nothing more to lose. I could mess up again but what do I care. I'm no longer afraid of even being awkward in social situations but rather took fun in it. I learned to appreciate my uniqueness. I still get hurt of course, but I usually get over it quickly.

 

[Bridgida]

http://www.manifestintuition.com/developing-intuition.html

I was as a young child always scolded. So now by putting this link in, which I know is not Christian but to a larg part pure psychology and real super way of thinking and feeling. So feel guilty and hear footsteps behind me.

I often feel not like an adult, rather oppressed, squenced, child like.

Well she writes that lots of intiutions have the form of chlairaudience and she can see images. I think I am clairaudience and can see real faces sometimes.

I can feel everything and pinpoint it down to real experiences. I don't feel other people, or rather very seldom. This should be different, perhaps as I always think that they say something bad. I overlook what I sense and don't use it. So most of my conversations and flat disregarding what I feel out of fear. Where this would be the actual help.
My mother use to disregarde what I was saying, but lots of mothers do. So this is jsut half of the explanation why I have this.

How can I think and hear so wrong in paranoia? That is a negative skill. Or is it real? Or is it evil or is it a negative form of psychological thinking from my side?

I hear an evil deep voice again. Here someone as human trafficer or evil doesn't want me to get better. So he attacks me. I pray to Jesus and it goes but this annoying male voice is still there. If I could see this person alive I would beat him up, punch him with my fist in his face.

So now I am racing, need to know how to get rid of occult attacks. What the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I red about wichcraft attacks and it looks really bad. It is amazingly done and they attack Christians around them as well.
I get then the answers from my family voices to get out of this country. This is a real attack.

But I want to stay, I want to study, I want to go to university. Which I can't in my home country as I haven't got the right qualification.

 

[Bridgida]

I have no helper how to get rid of occult attacks. I tried to tell a priest.
But then again what it is me who attacks me?????????????
What if the evil voice is me?
That I get forward and are afraid to heal to be better as being oppressed is what I know? It feels safe and I go more round the circle?

I got beaten up as a child. Quite often actually and since then I think if I go loud, something bad will happen to me. That if I laugh about a person I talk to, or say what I think, or even scold it, soemthing bad will happen to me.

 

[Bridgida]

this is like a theater peace. A drama, made in my head, that my head plays out, with threa dimensional voices. No computer can do that.
So schizophrenics are def. geniuses.

 

[Bridgida]

So all noises are not there for now, the sun shines. It is a beautyful autumn weather. And I go now and learn for 2 hours.

 

[timewerx]

I have no helper how to get rid of occult attacks. I tried to tell a priest.
But then again what it is me who attacks me?????????????
What if the evil voice is me?

What would get rid of occult attacks is order (opposite of disorder) based on experience.

Christ same to save the world (also means 'order'). Alternately to save or restore order. Order is how Christ can drive away spirits of disorder (evil).

 

[~Anastasia~]

Lord have mercy on you, dear one.

Please, do not seek out psychics or courses from psychics to deal with this. It will only possibly make it worse, open doors to allow worse things to happen.

You are seeing a doctor and on medication? It is first important to have medical issues addressed.

There are Christian methods too, that can help. But it is not something I could guide you in. There are not so many to be found, but if you were asking me, I would urge you to find an Orthodox monastery. They are the "hospitals" for more difficult spiritual ills. They could perhaps begin to teach you how to make stillness in your mind, and how to react rightly to the thoughts that come up in your mind. I know of no other place to get such help. If there is not one nearby, you might try emailing or calling one, and see if someone is able to help you.

I wish I could offer more. Such struggles break my heart. But please, please, do not go to psychics for help. It will likely only make things worse, maybe much worse.

Praying for you, dear one. God be with you.

 

[Bridgida]

So I have done my learning which is like a test and will need more time. Afterwards I cleaned the flat and had to continue to fight against these bad feelings. I felt guilty for having been so egoistic and trying me as a journalist student, writing a lengthie text. I am truly a bad person. And I got depression and fear and felt weak. At the end I felt that this is difficult to survive. I thought I can die. I heard a sudden noise and knew that this was the creature from the occult attack and immediately tried to visualize Jesus. And I got him. His arms stretcht out. And an Angel slaying the creature. And the emotional cloud was lifted.
The spirit family said that this are people. So a 0Michael perhaps can slay people who astral travel, or it was a demonic creature.

yes years ago there was a thought in me that said I should go to a monastry. I will look for one.

The priest who gave me the tip about the meditation of monks was catholic. It worked, thank you.

It will perhaps come back.
I hear voices as in my case they might be real. I fight on that issue. One way of solving this problem is by talking about it. Not to drift up alone.




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[Bridgida]

What would get rid of occult attacks is order (opposite of disorder) based on experience.
You mean sins?
I work, pay bills. I have a partner and think of marrying him. I behave in diplomatic ways. Old sins perhaps, but I have worked on them already.

Christ same to save the world (also means 'order'). Alternately to save or restore order. Order is how Christ can drive away spirits of disorder (evil).

 

[Bridgida]

I am on medication and by the next order I will ask for a stronger dosage or an anti deppressant.

 

[Bridgida]

And thank you for all who help.

 

[timewerx]

I work, pay bills. I have a partner and think of marrying him. I behave in diplomatic ways. Old sins perhaps, but I have worked on them already.

The disorder is not just concerned in having a "normal life" or the lack of it. For example, paranoia maybe a case of disorder or a symptom of disorder.

In many documented cases of paranormal activities, involves a person suffering from mental issues. These are cases where unexplained phenomena had occurred like telekinesis, levitation, etc.

I have personally experienced cases where the disorder is as simple as not cleaning one's room for a very long time and is very disorderly. And upon restoring order, the hauntings immediately ceased.