Our Pro-Choice dilemma

[Landon Caeli]

My daughter is pregnant! And confused!

...Tommorrow my daughter sees the doctor, and will make the decision on whether she will keep her baby or abort her baby. But she wouldn't have to make a choice if pro-choice supporters didn't insist on there being one.

At first, my wife and I told her it's okay, we will stick together as a family and do everything for you. And so she was on board. Then my eldest, atheist daughter told her not to listen to us because my wife and I are religiously biased, and that she would give her a ride to PP. She talked to a friend who told her she would be there for her when she delivers, and her other friend said she would probablybget an abortion. Then her cousin said to have the abortion because otherwise they won't be able to spend the summer together.

...So my daughter is literally going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, with everybody chipping in their two cents, confusing the life out of my daughters conscience. This 'choice' is stressing us all out to no end.

Life would be so much simpler without having to "choose".

 

[Landon Caeli]

My daughter currently works part time and is in college to be a nurse. She could easily take a break in her studies, and return later.

...This is not a life-ending scenario. Geez.

 

[Saucy]

It's certainly life-threatening for the baby! She wants to kill it out of convenience. You have to show her otherwise.

 

[Landon Caeli]

I can only say so much as a father, because the more I chip in, the more likely I am of coming off as aggressive, thus tipping her in the ooposite direction.

Good thing we have this 'choice' to contend with.

 

[High Fidelity]

It must be a difficult time for her and you as her family.

One point I'd make is that in her consideration, she should consider the word choice in the phrase 'pro-choice'. It's her choice. If she decides one way or the other then it should be her choice alone because in one scenario she is then responsible for raising a child that, for example, may be incredibly high needs and/or disabled and it take over her life, or be the one to deal with the emotions and thoughts that come with abortion. Ultimately both present their challenges and as such should be decided by her own decision.

I am against abortion as a form of contraception to the extent we see it used so widely by many people, so the fact her cousin suggested it as a means of freeing up her summer is quite sad indeed.

I'm not a father so I can't speak to you as a fellow Dad, but I'd like to think if I were in your shoes that I'd be gentle and kind in my approach. By all means state your beliefs and opinion on the matter, but make sure she knows she's loved and that it isn't a decision to take lightly but you and your wife will support her through either aftermath.

 

[Landon Caeli]

It's certainly life-threatening for the baby! She wants to kill it out of convenience. You have to show her otherwise.

How though? That's the thing, because I don't want her to view me as another person trying to influence her.

 

[Landon Caeli]

It must be a difficult time for her and you as her family.

One point I'd make is that in her consideration, she should consider the word choice in the phrase 'pro-choice'. It's her choice. If she decides one way or the other then it should be her choice alone because in one scenario she is then responsible for raising a child that, for example, may be incredibly high needs and/or disabled and it take over her life, or be the one to deal with the emotions and thoughts that come with abortion. Ultimately both present their challenges and as such should be decided by her own decision.

I am against abortion as a form of contraception to the extent we see it used so widely by many people, so the fact her cousin suggested it as a means of freeing up her summer is quite sad indeed.

I'm not a father so I can't speak to you as a fellow Dad, but I'd like to think if I were in your shoes that I'd be gentle and kind in my approach. By all means state your beliefs and opinion on the matter, but make sure she knows she's loved and that it isn't a decision to take lightly but you and your wife will support her through either aftermath.

Apparently there is some pill she can take up to 10 weeks that poisons. We are a Catholic family. I'm stressed.

 

[High Fidelity]

Apparently there is some pill she can take up to 10 weeks. We are a Catholic family. I'm stressed.

I'm not too sure honestly what medications are out there for that sort of thing.

As a Catholic family, even if your daughter has lapsed in her faith, that upbringing and exposure to certain beliefs and ideals won't have left her and I am sure they're playing a part in her contemplation.

 

[Saucy]

I'm not sure how you would. Maybe sit her down and have a talk with her, see where she's at, share your thoughts on it, then you'll have to let her make her decision. Make sure she understands what exactly she's doing and the consequences of aborting a baby: physical, mental, spiritual, and otherwise.

 

[Landon Caeli]

I'm not sure how you would. Maybe sit her down and have a talk with her, see where she's at, share your thoughts on it, then you'll have to let her make her decision. Make sure she understands what exactly she's doing and the consequences of aborting a baby: physical, mental, spiritual, and otherwise.

Good thinking. So far, I have explained to her that she would certainly always have a feeling of loss, which she certainly would, because she really is a tender hearted person. I think she will ultimately choose life. So far, I've been going mostly with hope, in that her good conscience will win in this.

...I just can't believe how people are actually purposely trying to persuede her into abortion. I'm actually shocked over that.

 

[Saucy]

I missed the edit. You're going to have to be an influence on her. You're her father. Just don't show you're angry and let her know that it's her decision, but you just want to say your peace and you feel it's very important not to abort.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

It was very courageous of her to reveal to you that she's pregnant. How old is she?

I'm not sure if you still live in LA but there's a compassionate non-profit organization called Claris Health that assists women with unintended pregnancies. I found out about Claris through a Bel Air Presbyterian event that collected donations for them. It's not militantly anti-abortion, but it does provide more extensive, empathetic counseling to really consider options.

 

[Landon Caeli]

It was very courageous of her to reveal to you that she's pregnant. How old is she?

I'm not sure if you still live in LA but there's a compassionate non-profit organization called Claris Health that assists women with unintended pregnancies. I found out about Claris through a Bel Air Presbyterian event that collected donations for them. It's not militantly anti-abortion, but it does provide more extensive, empathetic counseling to really consider options.

She's 19. This is my second oldest daughter.

 

[Multifavs]

That's so sad that she is considering abortion. My prayers definitely go out to your family.

An innocent human life is far more important than a bit of convenience, maybe you can try to help her realize that, and that this is a baby, a human being. If she can't fully take care of the baby, maybe she can consider having others help her or letting someone else adopt the baby? I don't have much good advice on this but some others who posted here have given some great tips. I'll be praying too.

 

[gym_class_hero]

you need to speak the truth in love. I would say, "I understand maybe you don't want to be a mother now, but if that's your choice we would hope you would have the baby and give him/her up for adoption. "
I would also encourage her to have an ultrasound...many women change their minds towards life after seeing the reality of the baby inside their womb.

 

[gym_class_hero]

also Id spend a lot of time praying earnestly that God will influence her heart.
God bless you and yours

 

[Landon Caeli]

That's so sad that she is considering abortion. My prayers definitely go out to your family.

An innocent human life is far more important than a bit of convenience, maybe you can try to help her realize that, and that this is a baby, a human being. If she can't fully take care of the baby, maybe she can consider having others help her or letting someone else adopt the baby? I don't have much good advice on this but some others who posted here have given some great tips. I'll be praying too.

It's totally for convenience... My wife and I even said we would raise the child for her if need be. I just never understood the power of this 'choice' we're currently up against.

...I never imagined it would be like this.

 

[brinny]

My heart goes out to you, your wife, and your precious 19 year old daughter at this most difficult and angst-ridden time. Praying for each of you (((hug)))

 

[paul1149]

Maybe you could point her to literature/videos where women talk about the unexpected and persistent effects their abortions had on them. Some of these testimonies are very powerful, and they provide an element often missing in young persons: life perspective

 

[Landon Caeli]

What makes me actually upset is my oldest athiest daugbter claimimg that me and my wife's opinion should not matter since our opinion is religiously biased. Unbelievable... Like this is some kind of political game.

...With her, I am extremely upset.