opinion greatly appreciated.

[jenajajena]

I've been a member at another christian forum for awhile now, anyways I met this guy on that particular forum! I only met him 2 months ago but I've talked to him on a daily basis everyday since I met him. This weekend is the first weekend I'm going to have to go without talking to him because he's going on vacation......I miss him already! I haven't actually met him face to face yet, but I think I have feelings for him. I have been praying about this, and I truely feel that I'm supposed to be with him. We're meeting face to face in a month, which is great but I'm afraid that I'm going to express my feelings for him, which isn't a good thing. He doesn't want me to like him like that because he doesn't ever want to marry. I always said I wasn't going to fall for someone that doesn't want to marry but I have! I don't know what to do, he has helped me through so many family problems and has helped me build my relationship with God! He truely feels that God deosn't want him to marry. I am so confused! Am I just being naive thinking that I could have oddly enough met "the one" I've been looking for over the internet. I know I probably haven't explained things as well as I should but I'm trying to just let you know about this and get an opinion.

 

[wildthing]

I think you should meet him (sometimes thing aren't what they claim to be), Understand his feelings about marriage. I think he is afraid of one little thing, that is the word commitment. Perhaps he will grow up.

 

[caitlincares]

You need to respect his feelings.

My youngest brother has no intention to marry.
He is NOT going to grow out of it.

He has had a couple of great Christian girl friends.
At some point they realize they are not going to change him and they move on.

He has always been very upfront about his feelings.
He does remain a good friend to them.

 

[jepvc4]

Don't hope blindly, but don't give up all hope. My advice would be to guard your own heart. You sound as though you've already built a lot of this relationship up already in your own mind, and you can be risking getting hurt by doing that. Be very careful to take things as they really are, and be very careful not to create things in your mind that aren't there.

 

[Sketcher]

Seems to me that you opened up too much with him too soon. You also may have been looking too hard for a mate and decided on him after a little while. Guard your heart (Prov 4:23) and if you need to, stop talking to him. If it is God's will for him to be single, you should respect that - it would be the loving thing to do. Also, please don't blame God for this situation. I've done this before, blamed God, and it only made things worse.

 

[Grunt]

Restrain yourself until you have a chance to get to him well, face to face. Otherwise you're just more likely to get hurt.

I was in a similar position. Met a girl online a little over a year ago.. we got to be really good friends, talked online almost daily. Then this July we met face to face, and it just faded from there.. just wasn't meant to be the way I desired it to be, and I was to emotionally tied into things too early. As of now I haven't even talked to her in probably 3 months.

Not to say that you're doomed before you even start, you just have to be careful...

 

[jenajajena]

Thanks for all of your input. I really am trying to not have such strong feelings for him...it's so hard! I thought about him all day today, not even meaning to. I miss not talking to him! I'm almost scared to meet him because I don't want to get my hopes up and get heartbroken, and I don't want the samething to happen to me...I want to know that it's not going to be 3 months before I talk to him after we meet.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Just out of curiosity, why are you even trying to pursue a relationship with a guy who isn't called to be a husband? It would appear to me you've latched onto a guy who boosts your self-esteem, who fills some emotional void in your life and yet the relationship isn't going to lead anywhere productive. If I were in your shoes, I would sever contact with the guy. I know that seems rash, but it isn't fair to try and change someone based upon your feelings for them. The only way to gain peace about this would be to stop communicating with him so that you won't allow him to tempt you and you won't tempt him. I know it seems harsh, but to me it just doesn't seem fair to either of you to continue this.

 

[TriptychR]

I had a similar experience with a girl I had known for a month online that I hadn't met. We jumped in way to quickly and it simply crashed. I'm sorry to say, but if this guy doesn't have any desire to marry there are simply way too many factors going against you here to be so into this. It always feels exciting for a while, but once that fades it's hard to believe how things can change.

 

[Kept_Woman]

Just out of curiosity, why are you even trying to pursue a relationship with a guy who isn't called to be a husband?

I think that you have to trust what he says when he tells you that He does not want to be married. By ignoring this very important fact, you're allowing your feelings for him override what he's already explained to you. If God has chosen this man to be your husband, then it will happen when God says it should happen, but don't open your heart to the possibility that this guy is "the one" without first checking with God. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.

 

[persianboy]

I've been a member at another christian forum for awhile now, anyways I met this guy on that particular forum! I only met him 2 months ago but I've talked to him on a daily basis everyday since I met him. This weekend is the first weekend I'm going to have to go without talking to him because he's going on vacation......I miss him already! I haven't actually met him face to face yet, but I think I have feelings for him. I have been praying about this, and I truely feel that I'm supposed to be with him. We're meeting face to face in a month, which is great but I'm afraid that I'm going to express my feelings for him, which isn't a good thing. He doesn't want me to like him like that because he doesn't ever want to marry. I always said I wasn't going to fall for someone that doesn't want to marry but I have! I don't know what to do, he has helped me through so many family problems and has helped me build my relationship with God! He truely feels that God deosn't want him to marry. I am so confused! Am I just being naive thinking that I could have oddly enough met "the one" I've been looking for over the internet. I know I probably haven't explained things as well as I should but I'm trying to just let you know about this and get an opinion.

stay celibate and dont give in to lusts, how do you plan to have a Godly relationship with someone who doesnt want marriage? It will be a relationship of sin, but hopefully all goes will without fornication and he developes feelings that will change his point of view..but relationships are all about sacrifice, but dont fall for someones sinfull schemes girl...Ill pray for you

 

[JPPT1974]

Not only not give in lustfully physically. But mentally, emotionally, and most of all...spiritually.

 

[DaveKerwin]

You like him because he has helped you. He cares for you as a sister in the Lord. I don't see why he agreed to meet you, that brings intimacy between friends, which almost always leads to romance. Obviously you like him, which is why you want to meet him. Respect his boundaries of not dating, and begin to get over him, unless he decides that God lied to him about the whole single thing.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

And don't forget, it doesn't matter how much you two think you know about eachother, if you know eachother through the interent, then you only know what you've TOLD eachother. There's no non-verbal communication. I don't think there's any harm at all in meeting this person, but to think you have feelings for him is dangerous.

Basically, you get whatever information he gives you (which will be in the best light, because he has time to think about what he says and how he says it before he types), and whatever information you don't have, your brain fills in the gaps.

I think you're very premature in saying you have feelings for someone you've "known" for a month over such an ineffective communication tool.

Just keep your eyes open and be honest with yourself.

 

[jenajajena]

Thanks all, and you guys were right. I still talk to him, but only as a friend. Thanks for showing concern.