OCD/Scrup/unbelief thoughts

[kaykay9.0]

KayKay, im so glad that it helped you also ::hugs::. Jesus Has really turned you and the otehrs on this thread into Christian Warriors. Right now I think he has assigned me to bootcamp

Well, just hang in and keep seeking whatever treatment you need. I've said it before but let me say it again, just understanding what you're battling here is very empowering.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hey folks, came back from the therapist session today and despite not telling him about the method that mitzi mentioned, that was exactly what he told me that we would be working on in the upcoming sessions. It was very nice to get confirmation from 2 sources. He hasnt determined whether or not I will need meds but we will cross that bridge when we get there

 

[John B Jr.]

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Thanks John, It seems like I have taken the first step of that 1000 mile journey. Once I can get out of that obsessive analytical mode I think I will make lots of progress. I give praise to the lord Jesus Christ for not letting me go and bringing you guys to me to be gods instruments in helping me through this hell.

Group prayer folks

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hey folks, came back from the therapist session today and despite not telling him about the method that mitzi mentioned, that was exactly what he told me that we would be working on in the upcoming sessions. It was very nice to get confirmation from 2 sources. He hasnt determined whether or not I will need meds but we will cross that bridge when we get there

 

[shelovesChrist]

Christian-Catholic,

It's such a blessing that you had a good time in church. Amen.
And I'm so happy that you still pray despite how things seem
and feel. You're not relying on your feelings, and I'm glad that
you continue to go to the Lord.

John 14: 18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Thank you Sheloveschrist, unfortunately this didnt last long as the thoughts and pains came back. Unfortunately I didnt make things better because I bought an appologetics book at a bookstore called the language of god. It helped me feel a bit better because it make total sense but right now it made the thoughts come back stronger again and it is as if they started to debate with me again.
I would give almost anything to going back to being simple again
I hate these thoughts but the fact that Im still here means that I will not give up either.
My therapist said that I seem to be in a condition where I lost a little bit of free will to believe what I want to believe. He wll be working with me on how best to attack this problem. I was also told that there is a monastery that has some very capable people that are very good at dealing with ocd.
God bless you all

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hello again everyone. I just got a book that my therapist asked for me to read. Its called "getting control" by Lee baer. Seems like an excellent book so far and it talks about ocd, recent treatments etc etc. You can get it used off of amazon for 3 bucks. From everything I have read so far, my ocd was probably mixed in with depression, and that is probably what made it so tough to get through. This kind of ocd could end up needing medication.

Just wanted to say ty to everyone again. You are truely the lords angels
I hope you all had a very peaceful and restful sunday and monday
God bless you all

 

[zingiber]

One other thing that you could try reading is 'Scrupulous Anonymous'. It is a monthly newsletter aimed at those with scrupulosity (religious OCD), and it comes from a Catholic point of view. There won't often be articles touching on your specific obsession, but I think you would be encouraged nonetheless.

OCD with depression is nasty. Two or three years ago, I had a bout of it - extreme OCD, and depression that was very high on the scale. I got out of it with treatment and help from a therapist. Both together work to to get the best result!

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hello Zingiber, Im so glad that you eventually got better. God bless you buddy. Your right OCD and depression can be very very nasty, and it looks like that is what I have. I really think I had massive depression for many many years but I wasnt willing to admit it, and this is what I got out of the therapy session today. There might be another thing that is contributing to this. Since the 1990's I have had a major problem with keeping my body warm. The weather seems 15 degrees colder to me then most normal people. This was from a major illness I had then. My therapist is suggesting that I get labwork for hypothyroidism. I know my aunt is also getting tested for hypothyroidism.

The therapist suggested a med for the intrusive thoughts and numbness of the depression. At the time of the therapy session I was feeling ok so I said maybe I will try the breathing techniques that he was explaining to me. As soon as i got home I started getting the thoughts again. I might call him up soon to get the meds.

Zingiber, you are another of Christs warriors. Thank you so much for posting. This whole thread is filled with so many gutsy folks. How can I give up with all of you soldiers around me
God bless you all

Thanks also for the info about the 'Scrupulous Anonymous' . I will also look into it too

 

[zingiber]

This whole thread is filled with so many gutsy folks. How can I give up with all of you soldiers around me

Same thing with me! I also get much encouragement from reading what the others write here. I am very glad that you are finding it good too; it is so heartening to me to see you not surrendering to the OCD, and continuing to come to God - keep up the good work!

I pray that God will bless you, and help you to win this.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Same thing with me! I also get much encouragement from reading what the others write here. I am very glad that you are finding it good too; it is so heartening to me to see you not surrendering to the OCD, and continuing to come to God - keep up the good work!

I pray that God will bless you, and help you to win this.

Thank you Zingiber, the ocd seems to be trying to intensify its attacks on me. The heardest part is that I even have to defend myself against these thoughts as I have always found them crazy to even entertain. Im going to see if I can get a prescription made out today from my therapist for the intrusive thoughts.
Hope your day is going well

God bless

 

[shelovesChrist]

Same thing with me! I also get much encouragement from reading what the others write here. I am very glad that you are finding it good too; it is so heartening to me to see you not surrendering to the OCD, and continuing to come to God - keep up the good work!

I pray that God will bless you, and help you to win this. Amen Zingiber!

Hey Christian-Catholic,

Keep your faith in the Lord and remember that you are in His hands and
can't be plucked. No matter what the winds are, they cannot separate
you from the Lord nor His love and His compassion and His mercy. He is
truly amazing! I've been praying for you, daily, as well as all the others
on this forum. Continue to pray and keep your mind on His promises so
when the thoughts do trigger, and I know that sometimes they come left
and right for minutes at a time, you can remember what our Lord said and
find rest in Him. You are determined to go forward loving Him despite all
that tries to come against you and I'm encouraged and glad and I know that
the Lord is proud of you too gurlie =] Praying as always and keep the faith.

The other day I woke up and was just feeling down and the scripture came to me. John 16: 33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcame the world.

The Lord was reminding me that in the world I will have troubles but there is piece IN Him. And that's truly where I find my peace, no one gives me joy and piece like the Savior of my soul. And that no matter what occurs I will be okay because He overcame the world and because He overcame and He is with us, we will overcome to. 1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is you, than he that is in the world.

Keep standing on His world, Christian-Catholic and I wish you many blessed days to come. We're in this together. Brothers and sisters in Christ.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

My god my godddddddddd. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts yet again. I just want these thoughts to go away and they wont until I say what they want me to say. They keep coming more and more in force then ever. My therapist says that keeping busy will mak ethem go away. He is wrong. No matter what I do during my day I cant escape them, even when I smile and laugh its all fake. All I want is these thoughts to go away and my lord for the lord to be here in full. I dont knwo anymore if these thoughts are really me or not. God please help meeeeeeeeeee
Im trying to keep myself from shaking, but the panic and fear have overtaken me.
I feel like im in total darkness with no meaning to myself , The thoughts and emotions wont stop

 

[kaykay9.0]

My god my godddddddddd. I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts yet again. I just want these thoughts to go away and they wont until I say what they want me to say. They keep coming more and more in force then ever. My therapist says that keeping busy will mak ethem go away. He is wrong. No matter what I do during my day I cant escape them, even when I smile and laugh its all fake. All I want is these thoughts to go away and my lord for the lord to be here in full. I dont knwo anymore if these thoughts are really me or not. God please help meeeeeeeeeee
Im trying to keep myself from shaking, but the panic and fear have overtaken me.
I feel like im in total darkness with no meaning to myself , The thoughts and emotions wont stop

Know that I am praying for you and I'm sure as others here read about your need, they will be too. In my own life, I have found that the more I battled unwanted thoughts, the stronger they became. The more I focused on other things, the quicker they dissipated. Please keep talking to your therapist and I agree that you may want to think about getting on some type of medication. Meds are no panacea but I think they take the edge off the problem so you can be more rational if that makes sense.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

KayKay im so afraid that these thoughts could be me. What if they are? I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Why wont they go away. I find myself going back to the appologetics forum and everything I hear the other sides view My pain gets worse.
Im so afraid of becoming this nightmare. Im so afraidddd.
Please Jesus save me
Please take me away from this world to be with only you. Im too weak lord, im just exhausted
Forgive me everyone, it seems like when I distract myself from these thoughts that my mind might be thinking that Im trying to hide from the truth. God help me please

 

[kaykay9.0]

KayKay im so afraid that these thoughts could be me. What if they are? I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Why wont they go away. I find myself going back to the apologetics forum and everything I hear the other sides view My pain gets worse.
Im so afraid of becoming this nightmare. Im so afraidddd.
Please Jesus save me
Please take me away from this world to be with only you. Im too weak lord, im just exhausted
Forgive me everyone, it seems like when I distract myself from these thoughts that my mind might be thinking that Im trying to hide from the truth. God help me please

I would advise not going to the apologetics forum. Don't do it. It's poison to you. Now, if you want to read a good apologetics book, that might be helpful. Some would say that reassurance feeds the OCD, however. My opinion, is that sometimes it's helpful to reaffirm what you believe. I would recommend for example, Dr. Gregory Boyd's apologetic book, Letters from a Skeptic. You can get it on www.amazon.com There are many other good ones, but his is one I like.

Doubts and thoughts may assail you but try to put your confidence in the keeping power of the Lord. We have fears that we may completely lose our faith. At least I feared that but I believe that at the end of the day, that is highly, highly unlikely. You may walk through a season of doubt and thoughts you don't like, but the very fact that you don't like them and are scared about them shows that you still have faith and that is important to you. People that battle OCD, I think, are more susceptible to doubt because our mind doesn't tolerate any degree of uncertainty very well. For me, I have kinda had to say to myself, that I do believe in God and Christ and doubts may come and go or they may not, but this is the conviction and choice I have made and I will walk it out despite any doubt or uncertainty. But this is FAITH. We walk by faith not by sight and the doubts recede generally. Does that make sense? Focus on Christ and walking with Him and not on fighting the doubts and thoughts. This is hard, but in my experience, this is what is most helpful.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Yes kaykay it does make sense. I will check out the letters from a skeptic. Sorry I didnt answer sooner as I fell assleep. Your right also in that I HATEEEEEE these thoughts with a passion. I will just keep focusing on the historicity of Jesus and the resurrection as that is the best evidence I have right now to battle against these intense thoughts. Im not forgetting pauls conversion also on the road to damascus
Thank you so much, I just hope this nightmare starts to get better soon.

 

[zingiber]

Emotions trump logic, eh? 'Feelings' are very convincing. We trust them, yet our thinking mind we doubt. The strongest castle of logic falls at the blow of the least dart of feeling; and OCD uses not arrows, but cannons.

That is the way of things. Thoughts are abstract. They scratch across your mind, but feelings go deeper. They are more tangible. You could even say that thoughts are a product of our mind, but emotionsare our mind. Feelings, while strong, aren't objectively correct. It is logic, mind, and rationality that should lead us. In an ideal world, our emotions would follow what we know to be true, but too often we let our emotions rule us; we believe them! From such comes superstition - observe people who hold absurd views with utter conviction because they feel they are right, even when shown they are wrong.

OCD is just the same, except the emotions are repetitive, and random. In fact, before I was diagnosed, I thought I had a case of super-superstition! The brain misfires, an aberrant thought is generated, and then fear kicks in. The emotion lends more weight to the flimsy logic of the obsessions. To beat the obsessions, we must live our lives rationally, in the same way as ordinary people must, even though we have a greater foe and a harder time winning.

I often get relief by telling myself; 'It is a feeling; it will pass!', and then examining the matter in hand logically (if you need too, which you usually don’t, because you’ve already overanalysed it!). Remember to follow your mind. Your mind will lead you to truth better than will your 'feelings'. So, if you are convinced intellectually of what you doubt, ignore the doubt; it is OCD. Good advice I have heard is to settle the matter once alone thoughtfully, and then leave it at that. Wage peace, not war. Passive resistance works with OCD!
If you have real, logical, serious doubts, I would be more than happy discussing them, although I would think that you are more experienced in apologetics than I. I am a student of science, and a scientific person naturally, so if your problems are in that field, I will help if I can. I'm not sure what the others here think, but I think it is best to work out true doubt thoroughly, rather than just ignoring it.

And last of all, please accept my apologies if I have have shot wide of the mark and given the wrong medicine, having misdiagnosed your problem.

Praying for you.

 

[Christian-Catholic]

Hello Zingiber, thank you again for your post. I have sent you a pm