Now that I put my faith in display to my coworker things are even more difficult and uncomfortable

[Deniz]

I don't know, Deniz. Verbally witnessing to this woman doesn't seem like the best idea. In her present state, she might think he was hitting on her. I'm being perfectly serious. She sounds like something of a basket case. Pray for her, that would be my advise. If she happens to ask a genuine question on her own, fine. Otherwise keeping any conversation to a minimum might be wisest.

I agree that it would be wise for him to keep his interactions to a minimum until he spends that time with the Lord. We all were basket cases until the Lord pulled us out of that and praying for her is great, I definitely agree; it would be even better if he used this occasion to get closer to the Lord and see through the veil of the flesh, all the while contributing to the salvation of another soul. But as I said before, only if he lets this realization of weakness propel him towards Christ. If you let anything pull you away from the Lord there's always this monster looking to devour whom he may.

 

[LoricaLady]

The fact that she grabbed your handgun is outrageous and needs to be reported and documented. Also she is sexually harassing you. I would document the things she says and does and save them, where they are dated, to a place like DropBox or icloud. Who knows, she might some day try to say YOU harassed HER as she seems to have no moral compass whatsoever. Document ASAP.

It seems the boss is turned on by her so he or she may be no help at all. You are indeed in a bad situation. Of course if she is throwing sex in your face you could be aroused. It's hormonal. You have hormones and can't help that. Don't go on a guilt trip. Really, whenever a man and a woman are alone together for long periods, the hormones can start percolating. It just happens as part of nature. But of course it can be way worse with a woman such as you describe who is deliberately trying to entice you. Good for you that you don't want to be a sleaze bag.

I wonder who is over your boss that you could complain to and report her comments and actions to - all of which also should be well documented. Actually most of all I wonder how fast you can get out of that company and get another job! What a situation! Yuck.

Send your boss an email detailing what things she has done and save that, too. This might make something click in the boss' head about accountability for him or her. I would definitely include a comment about the junk food, in an innocent way, saying simply that you tried the advice but it did not work. Through that you are documenting that the boss knew the problems and was not really doing anything about it. This is very serious business. Again, this woman could later accuse you of sexual harassment so documentation would be a hedge against that.

I would definitely mention the topic of sexual harassment to the boss, too, and cite some cases where women have been hauled up in court for that and lost. You don't have to actually say that the companies were considered liable too, but express concern that your company would be involved in such a mess, and say there is no telling what else she might do with others in the future that might cause the company a heap of trouble.

I would pray about maybe telling the woman that you are documenting her sexual harassment. I would also start singing Christian songs a lot in the vehicle. A whole lot.

Singing praise songs is a form of spiritual warfare. Read how David gave relief to Saul from evil spirits when he sang. Read how Paul and Silas got out of prison when they were singing praise songs. Jehoshaphat's Israel was being approached by hostile armies from various countries. Israel was vastly outnumbered. The priests went out with the Ark before them singing praise songs and they turned against one another and not one was left alive.

If she complains about the Christian singing to any above you, I have found that simply humming Christian songs can be very effective against the dark side (which is the side she is currently working for whether she knows it or not) too. She probably would not recognize the tunes as being Christian.

Once I worked in a place where I saw people who were, indeed, into the dark side. (Who knows if that is the case with this woman.) At night in bed sometimes I would feel under attack in strange ways. I prayed to know what to do. I was told to hum Christian songs It worked, though I had to repeat sometimes.

I would say not to argue with the woman. She sounds like someone who would love an argument, or anything that gets the attention on her antics, and gets people upset.

It is not your place to witness to her in a work setting. In Proverbs we are told to be discrete in evil times. Also Messiah told us NOT to toss our pearls before the swine. You can pray for her, but she could try to get you in trouble for trying to witness to her. And, again, it seems ill advised even spiritually. The exception would be if the Holy Spirit puts it on your heart to do so. He knows which "swine" will eventually repent, and which will not. You don't.

 

[LoricaLady]

P.S. The next time you have to be alone with that woman, or in any situation where she is trying to entice you, tell her right up front something like, "When you talked about my crotch and pulled up your shirt before me, that was sexual harassment. Yes, women have been found liable in court for sexual harassment of men. I have been documenting what has been going on. If you perform any more such antics, they will be documented too, and reported. Act like a lady for your own good."

 

[ripple the car]

Michael, what's up, how are you?

 

[Invalidusername]

Be stronger. Walk away.

 

[LoricaLady]

You are being so weak. Walk away.

How could he walk away when he was assigned, by his job, to be with her? He complained about things to the boss, but if you actually read the post you will see he got no support there whatsoever. Also, he did make sure she went to a hotel by herself. Why are you insulting another poster by calling him "weak"? Sounds like verbal abuse to me, rather than any useful advice.

 

[LoricaLady]

P.S. Isn't it interesting that all the other posters here actually tried to be helpful and none of the others felt a need to call names. Just a thought.

 

[Invalidusername]

How could he walk away when he was assigned, by his job, to be with her? He complained about things to the boss, but if you actually read the post you will see he got no support there whatsoever. Also, he did make sure she went to a hotel by herself. Why are you insulting another poster by calling him "weak"? Sounds like verbal abuse to me, rather than any useful advice.

I understand that. I called him weak because he has not placed the woman in the "off limits" section of his brain. He is half and half. He wants her but he doesn't want to get in trouble.

Also you are forgetting that OP is a man. Any notions of gender equality is BS so thus as him being a man I have higher standards for him. He should get himself out of that situation at all costs, even if it costs him his job. Sometimes we need a nudge and this is just me attempting to give him a little nudge in the correct direction. Verbal abuse? Oh my, we are entering the snowflake territory here.

 

[LoricaLady]

I understand that. I called him weak because he has not placed the woman in the "off limits" section of his brain. He is half and half. He wants her but he doesn't want to get in trouble.

Also you are forgetting that OP is a man. Any notions of gender equality is BS so thus as him being a man I have higher standards for him. He should get himself out of that situation at all costs, even if it costs him his job. Sometimes we need a nudge and this is just me attempting to give him a little nudge in the correct direction. Verbal abuse? Oh my, we are entering the snowflake territory here.

Well, so far you've called the OP "weak" and called me a 'snowflake". Guess I better just ignore you and pray you learn the difference between verbal abuse and civil interactions. Bye!

 

[Invalidusername]

Well, so far you've called the OP "weak" and called me a 'snowflake". Guess I better just ignore you and pray you learn the difference between verbal abuse and civil interactions. Bye!

I know you ignored me but I adjusted my previous comment to be less offensive.

 

[LoricaLady]

I know you ignored me but I adjusted my previous comment to be less offensive.

Okay, I was going to ignore posting back, but not reading your post. (Too curious. lol.) Yeal, "Be stronger" is nicer. Blessings to you.

 

[Invalidusername]

Okay, I was going to ignore posting back, but not reading your post. (Too curious. lol.) Yeal, "Be stronger" is nicer. Blessings to you.

I apologize if my attitude was rude. I tend to be very blunt at times and sometimes forget how aggressive it may sound.

 

[MichaelDB]

Michael, what's up, how are you?

Some very interesting things happened (definitely a blessing ) but have been tied up and had very poor network. Well tell you tomorrow. And thank you for your prayers thank you to every one.

 

[LoricaLady]

I apologize if my attitude was rude. I tend to be very blunt at times and sometimes forget how aggressive it may sound.

None of us is perfect. Not all of us 'fess up to that, though, as you did.

 

[ripple the car]

Some very interesting things happened (definitely a blessing ) but have been tied up and had very poor network. Well tell you tomorrow. And thank you for your prayers thank you to every one.

Please let us know tomorrow!

 

[DLovingBrother]

Hi MichaelDB,

You really are in a difficult situation. Everyone has given good advice so far. But as a Christian, you must lean primarily on the Holy Spirit for strength and do your part as the human representative of Christ. I know it is easier said than done but the Scriptures are full of people who endured against all odds.

It might be wise to get a new job but in the meantime there are things you can do. First of all, it seems to me that at times you might be anticipating her moves too much and this causes you to react and she enjoys it. If this observation offends you I am sorry but that’s just how I see some of what you related. But if this is the case what you can do is just be cool and let her do her antics and do your best with God’s help to avoid getting irritated, riled up, annoyed or on the reverse, tempted and getting your mind working on lustful thoughts.

You have to set a certain threshold. No touching. Once she touches you, it get further down a slippery slope. And once you touch her, you will start enjoying it until it is too late. So, keep a sort of distance but be polite.

She will understand the gospel more with your integrity, composure and commitment to the word of Christ. As Francis of Assisi said, “Share the gospel. And if possible use words.” Not really sure it was he who said that, but I hope you get what I mean. God Bless.

 

[MichaelDB]

@Gracia Singh ,@LoricaLady ,@DLovingBrother ,@marineimaging we are back in the office today and it looks like everything has worked out for the better. Things with my Co worker and our boss are still interesting but it seems I have been set free spiritually. I prayed and prayed and prayed then all of a sudden I lost my lustful attraction to her, and through a series of really odd occurrences I got introduced to a nice woman my age, and may actually be able to have a platonic friendship with my Co worker and who knows she may even straighten her self out and being putting her amazing gifts to good use. (I'll say it again, that girl is definitely nutty, imperfect, immature, irritating, a lush, and promiscuous but she is for sure gifted).
So the day after we arrived she rolled up to the rig site around 10 am. By that time I had already done all of the measurements and was drafting the detailed report. Since she is the "senior" she needed to do her walk around, she found an area where the rig manager missed pulling out a pin and the pin head caused a kink on the flanges of one of the legs. She pointed out the issue to the senior company man and he ordered the rig to be shut down for the repair. She then proceeded to berate the tool pusher for not catching the issue himself.
The rig manager then got into a heated argument with the senior company man about down time and the company man relented and said that if a Professional Engineer will sign off on the release he will let them get back to work. The rig manager initially asked me to do it but since mine is only in HVAC the company man wouldn't accept my sign of. I informed him that my coworker is a certified SE (structural engineer) and she could do it. I don't know how much you guys knew about the toxic masculinity in oilfield culture but both if them were pretty much saying to the other that " a real man could break that little phillie". The rig manager then told us all that not only would he get the sign off from her, he was also going to have her "make him a sandwich". At this point I was still pretty irritated with her so I told them that they may have better luck if they made her a sandwich and plyed her with Jack Daniel's. They both told me that I just didn't know how to show a woman who is in charge and that they could handle her. They had one of the rig hands go get her and bring her into the push shack. Like always she was scowling with her arms crossed and wanted to know why they were bothering her before they made the repairs. The rig manager proceeded to explain to her that the company man would not let them drill until either the damage was repaired or she signed off and stamped the release, and that she should understand how expensive down time is. He then slapped her on the rear and told her to run along and let the senior company man know she will release the rig to work. Surprisingly she was unfazed by the rig manager slapping her on the bottom and just told him that the structure was not to code and that unless it is brought up to code she isn't releasing anything. She then told him that she would be more than happy to show him and the company man all the other safety and structural issues that she noted.
She made us all get our hard hats on and follow her through the structure as she maker beam after beam with orange paint. While she was bent over near the base boxes the rig manager put his arm around her waist and placed his hand onto her bottom and asked her if they could "just talk" in his trailer. She calmly told him that this was strike two and that she must kindly request that he remove his hand from her body. That's when he groped her breasts and just told her to release his rig.
Without saying anything she grabbed his hand and bit him right on the fore arm. We were all taken by surprise because the rig manager was screaming, he was trying to shake her off but she wouldn't let go. The tool pusher and a couple of the floor hands tried to separate them but she wouldn't let go. Somebody acutely ended up punching her in the eye before she let go and was thrown to the ground. I quickly scooped her up and just pulled her away while the tool pusher held the rig manager who was telling and cursing at her. She spat some blood out of her mouth and demanded I let her go to "finish the job". I pretty much drug her back to the SUV and was telling her that we needed to dress and clean her eye wound before it got infected (it was bloody and covered in mud ). She got hit really hard so I had to clean her wound really carefully wound really carefully and slowly, I spent the better half of an hour just inches from her face cleaning her up. Part way through that I realized I was no longer infatuated with her. I want having any strange inappropriate feelings all i could think about was how some one as smart as she could find her self in such a predicament where she was covered in mud and blood.
This is a pretty long post so I am continuing in another message.

 

[MichaelDB]

We were very lucky that no one from the oil company saw the scuffle but or boss found out pretty quick. A cellphone video of the incident made its way to the head office in British Columbia before I was even done dressing her wound. Our boss actually jumped onto a plane and flew up to Mississippi to meet us. Since there was blood both here and the rig manager had to be taken to town in order to get blood tests run. When we met our boss at the airport, she doted and fusse over my coworker like a mom. She was asking if she was OK, if she needed anything, stuff like that. It was really really odd. I was expecting my coworker to be eager to sue the company and I figured out boss was going to be really concerned about litigation but those two both wanted to just "handle the situation quietly". It turned out all my coworker wanted was a couple hundred dollars in gas cards, a few steak house gift cards, and she wanted our boss to take her shopping at the outlet mall. In fact she didn't even want the rig manager fired she just wanted to be allowed to " settle the score " in the company parking lot next time that particular manager was at the office.
Our had me drive them to the outlet mall then to dinner. It was good that we all went on this outing because she was reminded of exactly how irritating spending extended periods of time with my Co worker is. During dinner she excused her self from the table and didn't come back. Our boss went to the lady' room to look for her but she wasn't there. It turns out she got board at dinner so she decided to pan handle "just for fun". She went out to the truck and got her saxophone and made herself a cardboard sign that said "Boyfriend beat me up, need $$ to get back to Louisiana ". Since I didn't want to get "Ava-ed" again I got our boss to collect her. She was extremely upset and embarrasse, she went out and got her, made her return everybody's money and marched her back into the restaurant. She then scolded her about how she needed to grow up and that a lot of what she does isn't funny. She told her that we both respect her decision to be neither Christian nor Muslim but she has to respect that we choose to live by the tenets and morals of our chosen faiths and that she needs to stop putting us into uncomfortable positions where we must compromise our own morals by tolerating her behavior. After that she was pretty quiet for the rest of the evening. Later that night back at the motel she came to my door, I was tempted to just not let her in but I saw that she wasn't drunk and that she was dressed modestly and she was also barefoot so in a moment of weakness I opened the door and let her in.
She asked me if our boss was angry at her and I told her I don't think so and that she is just concerned and she probably chalks this all up to her being hit pretty hard. She then said that she had a feeling that I don't really like her. I tried to deflect by telling her how impressed I am with her saxophone and guitar skills, and that I respect how she refused just to release the damaged rig but she kept pressing me. I finally admitted that I don't really enjoy her company, I told her I found her antics childish and annoying and that I didn't appreciate how she almost caused me to crash the truck and that I didn't think it was funny when she insinuated I was going to human traffic her when I got pulled over. She was quiet but I could tell she was about to cry.
She tried to tell me that she thought that we could be friends and I told her that friends don't do that kind of thing to each oher. I told her that friends respect each other and the relationship isn't one sided. Then she asked me if I could give her another chance to prove that she could be a friend. I told her I could forgive all that's happened in the past if she respects my boundaries and my morals.
She then asked why I want interested that night she was drunk. I told her that she was drunk every single night and that fornication is a sin. That's when she said that I was just like her mentor from when she was just an EIT. She did that her mentor was super "churchy" too. She then said that me and her mentor would really hit it off since we were both "churchy". She then told me that the night she was drunk she was offering herself to me as a free ride because "I seemed lonely and sexually frustrated" (I said it before, this girl has no social grace, I think she doesn't even know when she says things that are insulting ). She said that if she knew I was so "churchy"she would have given me her mentor's number because last she knew her mentor was looking for a boyfriend. She then asked me if I wanted the number. I told her that maybe she should ask her first since most people don't like it when others just pass out their contact info. That's when she just pulled out her phone and called her mentor (this is like 11 pm at night, really this girl has no social grace). Surprisingly her mentor seemed happy to hear from her. She asked a couple times if she was alright and toss her she was so relieved that she was doing well. Despite my coworker ' lack of social intelligence, that girl could sell like no other. She wasted no time and just jumped right into pretty much negotiating with her to go on a date with me. I have to admit I almost got a big head listening to her sell me to this woman. When she hung up she told me that it was settled and that I was taking her mentor out on Saturday. She then pulled out some gift cards and told me to treat her to a nice steak dinner. I told her I didn't need her gift cards and that I didn't even agree to go. I told her that she should not be making these types of decisions for people no matter how well she means. Instead of addressing my comments she showed me a picture on her phone and told me that she would be perfect for me. She said that she is about my age, we are both churchy and since we are both kind of tall and as she puts it "a little on the pudgy side" she thought we would be perfect for each other. Then she insisted I take the gift cards because I "look kind of poor". I told her that people would probably like her better if she was more mindful of the potentially hurtful and insulting things she says. She then changed the subject by saying she wanted to buy my '94 Bronco. I told her no because the 8k that it is worth would never get me another reasonably dependable vehicle. She then told me that she could give me 3k plus the title to her fully paid off Lexus. Again I told her no because her Lexus must be worth at least 25k. I asked her what could she possibly want with an old bronco like that. She said that she had her eye on it since she started and that she wants to fix it up, have it painted white and then get vanity plates that say "NOT OJ".I told her that bronco has AC problems and that it has terrible gas mileage but she said she doesn't care since she would mainly drive her Lincoln day to day and that she just wants the bronco as a fun novelty. I again declined her and she asked if I could just think about it. She told me that if I wanted I could "test drive" her Lexus when I take her mentor out on Saturday.
We talked a bit more until she kind of nodded off in my room when I went to the bathroom. I let her sleep and then woke her up in the morning.
The drive back was rather peaceful since she opted to fly back with our boss. During the drive I called her mentor to let her know if she felt bullied into accepting the date she could cancel with no hard feelings. I was surprised because she said she wanted to at least talk and "see if I could sell myself as well as my coworker sold me". We first started talking about my coworker and it seems like this woman loves my coworker almost like how a parent loves a child. Her antics are a great cause of concern for her but she thinks my coworker is a good person deep down inside. We ended up talking the whole drive back and both if us are looking forward to meeting.

 

[ripple the car]

This woman is still unsafe. Please continue to stay civil, but not overly friendly. She is still not your friend.

You are a kind, understanding man, but it's ok to distance yourself from difficult people.

She bit into a guy's arm.

 

[Go Braves]

One of the officers said that they could take her in for disorderly conduct or if I wanted they could release her to me and "not see a thing" if she "fell and busted her pretty little face on the car's frame ".

Jeepers. This is the most twisted part of the story.