Not sure what to say

[Aedin]

Just been really anxious about making friends lately. I'm really hoping to be able to make close friends around my age who are willing to be there for me and support me, and me for them, and it's just been really hard to find people like that. I don't really know what to say. Just deal with so much anxiety. I'm tired of screwing up and ruining things and ruining friendships. I've had so many people leave me in the past, and just stop talking to me or get mad at me, I have anxiety that every friend I meet will get mad at me and sick of me and leave. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but I've just been crying the past few days, wondering if I'll ever be able to have the friendships I'd like.

 

[Everlasting33]

It sounds like your anxiety is justified in a way. If we feel disliked, we hold back. If we don't like ourselves, we won't reach out. We want friendship but fear rejection. It's really a tough place to be, isn't it?

I experience this a lot and emotionally, it still hurts. When we have been hurt on many occasions, we do not forget it and we internalize it. We soon detach and anxiety blooms.

We accept you on here and you are welcome to vent your anxieties to us!

 

[Aedin]

Really hoping to let go of the past. Anyone have any books or tips or whatnot? It is a tough place to be. Been crying the past two days. Just trying (but mostly failing, which sucks) to keep hope I 'll be able to find the friends I want. Been rejected by lots of Christians, even when I don't talk about problems. And like, I see sites like this, which are huge, and has tons of people who haven't been around for a while, and part of me always thinks "what if I would've been good friends with those people". I"m trying really hard to get over that and just have more faith in God and that he has a plan and all.

 

[Everlasting33]

Exercise really helps me. Filter your thoughts. Most likely they are causing you pain. Reminisce over baby pictures.

There are a ton of books I recommend:

feeling good
soul without shame
fantasy bond
anxiety and phobias
healing your emotional self
rachels tears

 

[A Catholic Friend]

Yes, exercise has helped me a lot too. It brings the anxiety way down. I want to get back to making new friends too.

I also fear that they will reject me, but I am feeling more stronger that I want to try again. The only thing is that it is winter now.

I do better in spring and summer when the sun is out. Some how I feel more confident in the sunny weather than in the wet, gloomy weather.

So I have to wait even though I wish I could start now going back to church. This may be too easy, but positive thinking can help too. If you replace the negative thoughts with

positive reinforcing phrases like yes I can do it or I will succeed and let that flood your mind the negative thoughts will be crowded out.

Give it a try it just may work for you.

 

[RuthD]

Really hoping to let go of the past. Anyone have any books or tips or whatnot? It is a tough place to be. Been crying the past two days. Just trying (but mostly failing, which sucks) to keep hope I 'll be able to find the friends I want. Been rejected by lots of Christians, even when I don't talk about problems. And like, I see sites like this, which are huge, and has tons of people who haven't been around for a while, and part of me always thinks "what if I would've been good friends with those people". I"m trying really hard to get over that and just have more faith in God and that he has a plan and all.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

hi Aedin, sorry to hear you are struggling to make friends but glad you are trying to put the past behind you and move on. I too struggle to make friends and a few years ago I was so angry and hurt by this struggle, I nearly killed myself over it. Then God showed me how much He loves me and that I have a friend like no other friend. My friend died for me, He forgave all my sins and He has given me eternal life. How many people have a friend who can do this for them? I still struggle to make real friends, I do really try but just dont seem to be able to make real friends.

However now the hurt and pain of this struggle is eased because I know I do have a friend, a true friend who loves me more than anyone else ever could. Jesus is my wonderful faithful friend, sadly I let Him down, disappoint Him but He remains my true and faithful friend. The wonderful thing is that Jesus has many friends and He loves each one just the same, He has no favorites and He loves you!

 

[R.A.IN]

Hi Aedin, I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

 

[Aedin]

I feel like I've been paralyzed the paSt few days, like I've been in a constant panic attack. I see threads here, people here, and it's overwhelming how many people there are, so many things to read. I can't read it all, and AI don't know how to meet anyone or make any friends. Same thing on another site. There's so many people, and it's a social anxiety site, but tehre's so many people, so many trheads, I don't know how i'm ever gonna meet anyone or make any friends on the site. I don't know what to do. I can't do anything. Everything comes together and paralyzes me.

 

[ephemera]

I feel like I've been paralyzed the paSt few days, like I've been in a constant panic attack. I see threads here, people here, and it's overwhelming how many people there are, so many things to read. I can't read it all, and AI don't know how to meet anyone or make any friends. Same thing on another site. There's so many people, and it's a social anxiety site, but tehre's so many people, so many trheads, I don't know how i'm ever gonna meet anyone or make any friends on the site. I don't know what to do. I can't do anything. Everything comes together and paralyzes me.

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your situation... I know how bad it can feel...
But don't give up! Anxiety can be cured, even though it may feel hopeless at times.
Just take it step by step and start where you are.

The beginning of my healing was when I chose to become a Christian and let go of the past. I got in touch with a Christian evangelist who prayed for me and it helped me alot. I had a lot of unbelief and fear, so it was a slow process. But I started reading the Bible and listening to teachings and my faith grew. Now there's not much left of my anxiety.

The most important lesson I learned from having this disorder, was that I have to love, accept and forgive myself and not worry what others think of me. Taking control of your negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts works well. Focus on the outside world and not so much on what's going on on the inside, cause then it's harder for the fear to take control.

As for the internet forums, just try to post at various threads, or where you feel you have something to contribute with. Open a new thread and introduce yourself, share your experiences etc. You just have to start somewhere and not give up

lol I don't know if any of this helps you, but that's my best advice...
Good luck!

 

[Aedin]

Thanks. I joined a social anxiety site, but there's tosn of peoploe there, and AI can't stop wandering, what ifeveryone ignores my posts, no matter what theya re? What if noone reaches out to me? It's tooh ard gwoing through profilestrying to find people, especially when there's so many people,a nd who knows how many ahven't logged on in months, ya now?"

 

[A Catholic Friend]

Indeed we are not alone if we have each other and this forum. Keep coming back here for advice and see how the others are doing. It helps me a lot.
Has anyone gone to a church event even though you are shy and just went to see if you could do it? I want to go to something for one day where I
am not worried about making friends. I can go to the meeting or whatever and maybe I will never see them again, but I went to something and got used to
being with people a little bit more.

If you have tried this can you tell us how it went? Also when I get back in a church group and when things go well for me and I am not so nervous anymore
I will try to help others like us who have shyness and anxiety. I will also come back here and tell others what progress I am making. If I can help others
overcome shyness and start in a new church group I will tell others here all about it. Please pray for me.

Thank you and God bless.

 

[A Catholic Friend]

Bump ***