Not strong enough

[knw1991]

Knw no wrath honey. You want to be saved thats a good thing. Did you know that God draws people first. We dont seek him first. When God draws us thats when we feel we want a close relationship with Him.so you wanting to be saved is because God has called you sweetie. Isnt that good news? The moment you asked Jesus to save you He did. If you saked Jesus to save you its because God put it in you to do so.

Thank you I didn't think of that. I just thought that I didnt genuinely want to be saved and that's why there were no signs I was saved. I guess I'm just begging for a reason or a purpose for me being here. I want change and I don't want to deal with depression all of my life.

 

[Chaplain David]

Yes you're right. I don't know what to do to get out of this. I want to love myself for who I am. I want to be free but I always choose to stay down because it's easy and familiar. I'll never get my 20's back. When will God do something in my life I've been depressed for 2 years. I just hope there will be a purpose for my life and something good that comes out of this

One of the things you are doing right now is experiencing life in such a way that will enable you to help others. There is no one better to help someone than a person who has gone through the same thing and come out the other side all the better for it. Do you see what I mean?

 

[knw1991]

One of the things you are doing right now is experiencing life in such a way that will enable you to help others. There is no one better to help someone than a person who has gone through the same thing and come out the other side all the better for it. Do you see what I mean?

Yes I see what you mean. Thank you

 

[emilie mayer]

Knw1991 read 1corinthians 12:3 it helped me understand more

 

[knw1991]

My counselor said I'm
Bitter and angry st the world. It hurt me because it made me feel that everything is my fault. It's like no one cares and I just have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and life and keep going. I have so much hurt, pain and rage inside of me, I just want to scream and throw things. God let me be born into a situation with no father he knew it would1 affect me down the line, he knew I would doubt my salvation he knew my heart would be broken but he let me go down a depressing path that has lead to suicidal depression. I just trashed my room and broke a double picture frame with my cousin and I picture. Of course my side of the picture frame broke which is a sign I'm worthless

 

[Criada]

My counselor said I'm
Bitter and angry st the world. It hurt me because it made me feel that everything is my fault. It's like no one cares and I just have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and life and keep going. I have so much hurt, pain and rage inside of me, I just want to scream and throw things. God let me be born into a situation with no father he knew it would1 affect me down the line, he knew I would doubt my salvation he knew my heart would be broken but he let me go down a depressing path that has lead to suicidal depression. I just trashed my room and broke a double picture frame with my cousin and I picture. Of course my side of the picture frame broke which is a sign I'm worthless

It's not a sign of anything of the kind, sweetie - it's just a random event.
You are very far from worthless - you are very very precious
I know it seems dark - but God is still there, and he won't let you go.
It may be very hard to believe at the moment, but things really will get better - just keep going, one day at a time - or one hour at a time if that's what it takes
Praying for you

 

[emilie mayer]

Knw1991 i was in your exact situation. It is a dark place to be. You are dealing with all of your past hurts and rejection. The good news id Jesus is right there with you. The more you try and handle it on your own the more trouble your going to have. Trust me i know. Hand it to Jesus sweety

 

[knw1991]

Thank you criada and emilie for your prayers and thank you to everyone else for your prayers. Emilie, how do I hand everything to Jesus? Does that mean to not think about it and let him work things out? I'm just not sure exactly how to do that?

 

[emilie mayer]

Go to a quiet room and open up to Jesus example: Jesus I need you right now I am facing eveything emotions about my father fears and worries about my salvation Jesus I cant carry this load and the more I try the harder it gets for me. Negative thinking is bringing me down and I feel like the enemy is having a field day with me. Jesus teach me to trust you please and give me wisdom because I need it. Help me to realize that it doesnt matter how bad people treat me because you will take care of anyone. that hurts me because you are just. Jesus take the wheel thankyou.
See say something like that. And when you do picture Jesus taking it. Thank Him for taking it now negative thoughts are going to try and pop up because the enemy cant stand it when we start learning to trust Jesus and the enemy will try and keep you down and when he does just say out loud NO I GAVE IT
TO JESUS AND START PRAISING JESUS. THE ENEMY CANT STAND THAT. IF YOU DO THAT EVERY TIME YOU START TO GET NEGATIVE THATS CALLED RESISTING THE ENEMY THATS WHY JESUS SAYS RESIST THE ENEMY AND HE WILL FLEE

 

[emilie mayer]

JESUS is your life partner now. You and Him work together as a team. But you have to be strong and courageous. He tells us to.

 

[emilie mayer]

We are on a journey honey.... you have got to stop letting the enemy get you down. The enemy uses circumstances,family,friends,ect to get us upset and focused on them and ourselves. Jesus is right there with you saying GIVE IT TO ME AND BE STRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WILL MAKE YOU GROW AND LEARN.

HE WANTS TO BE THE BEST FATHER TO YOU KNW1991. AND IT WAS PUT ON MY HEART TO TELL YOU THAT. WOW THAT WAS NEAT

 

[knw1991]

thank you so much emilie, i'll do that. today has been very hard for me.

 

[emilie mayer]

Whats been going on today ? Ive probably been there

 

[Gracelands]

My counselor said I'm
Bitter and angry st the world. It hurt me because it made me feel that everything is my fault. It's like no one cares and I just have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and life and keep going. I have so much hurt, pain and rage inside of me, I just want to scream and throw things. God let me be born into a situation with no father he knew it would1 affect me down the line, he knew I would doubt my salvation he knew my heart would be broken but he let me go down a depressing path that has lead to suicidal depression. I just trashed my room and broke a double picture frame with my cousin and I picture. Of course my side of the picture frame broke which is a sign I'm worthless

Knw everytime i read your posts i feel very strongly that you are clinging on to the past excessively. Don't make a victim persona your own. It will make you miserable and maybe even give you some warped justification for selfish, narcissistic, behaviour.

You need to move on! If you've hurt people apologise to them and to God then you can stop analysing and justifying on forums.

Your past, guilt, shame whatever is making you weak. Let it go and you will be more than strong enough.

 

[Annie2]

Knw1991, no-one can take you further than where they are themselves. Of my opinion, many 'councelors' here haven't been too far. Depression is much about repressed/suppressed anger, and it's very much okay to finally let it out. Later on, forgiveness and stuff will follow in their due course. But there's time for everything - even for anger.
I had a father, but I wish to quote here Lewis Carroll who said, "In some ways, you know, people that don't exist, are much nicer than people that do". My father left me being a fearful, overly-vulnerable, untrustful, joyless, ..., beaten child.
I fell into deep depression in my late teens, and never really recovered. (In fact, I must have been depressed all my life, I remember feeling sad&empty, somehow detached from normal life since I was 4-5 yrs). Anyway, I was a bright kid and managed to study medicine, even got my diploma.
But it was too hard to deal in the tough world, with harsh people. So I've been on disability pension since my 30ies. I come from an abusive, neglective, violent background. At school I was bullied, later on in my life abused again and abandoned.
G-d spared me from complete insanity. But I never made it, I never really recovered. Nor did I find anyone human to love me. No. For some reason G-d had decided differently about my life: I have to stay on my own, no matter how tough and unfair it feels. Our G-d didn't spare His own Son - that sure tells something about Him, and His Divine Love! This is not sarcasm, I'm trying to say that His Ways are not the human ways. And we just have to accept it. Period. Even if someone's life on earth is suffer-suffering (from a human point of view) from the beginning to the end, it might be going just as He has planned it. At some point, G-d may give you "celestial revelations", or allow you some earthly happiness - but not necessarily. Accept it, or suffer more - and then later accept it.
Knw, I'm praying that our Father would pity you and shower Love on you. <3 Take care, Annie

 

[Chaplain David]

thank you so much emilie, i'll do that. today has been very hard for me.

I'm praying for you.

 

[SplendidTree]

Praying for you sis.

 

[whitebeaches]

im so sorry you are hurting and in so much pain. you are so precious and God loves you so much. you are worth more than youll ever know to Him. He loves and cares about you so much and is hurting right along with you. I pray and hope you have better days ahead filled with peace. praying for you knw1991 (((( hugs ))))

 

[knw1991]

Praying for you sis.

thank you for your prayers cmjames84, i'll be praying for you too

 

[knw1991]

im so sorry you are hurting and in so much pain. you are so precious and God loves you so much. you are worth more than youll ever know to Him. He loves and cares about you so much and is hurting right along with you. I pray and hope you have better days ahead filled with peace. praying for you knw1991 (((( hugs ))))

thank you for your prayers, i cant pull myself out of this