No longer forgiveness for me?

[Deepest Blue]

Hello Everybody,

I hope I am finding you all well

I've just joined the forum and new so I am new to this site, I apologies in advance in I am posting in the wrong place.

Hopefully I can try and bring my post across well.

I've been feeling afflicted over the last few months with the realisation that I may have committed apostasy, or something that resembles it.

I accepted Jesus as my savior during the middle of the '90's and was in the faith for a few years (possibly around the late 90's) where my faith started to weaken to the point of not attending services and falling deeper into the world, pretty much forgetting everything that Jesus taught.

My faith had become so weakened that I didn't acknowledge Jesus or God in anything I did although I did still retain the love / respect / charitable and caring qualities but of course it means nothing without Jesus in your life.

I can't say that in all the time outside of the faith that I was ever really happy and always felt a sense of something deeply missing, pretty much everything around me was meaningless, even with my hobbies I wouldn't say were satisfying me but merely served as consuming time. Everything seemed pointless and I felt depressed and anxious, losing my way completely.

Over the last year or so I felt the sense of returning to Christ but I felt so unsure especially after how I left in the first place. Although I felt the 'nudges' I didn't actually return to Christ until last September when a church member (who's also family) had spoken to me about how Christ still loved me and would forgive me for the things I did if taking it to Him in prayer. It felt lovely returning and the church members were pleased to see me return too, however, I was still feeling very guilty at what I had done (being away for over 10 years) but if I am to believe that Jesus would forgive me then I had to stop feeling this way.

I've stopped with the worldy pleasures and have comitted to Jesus, have been reading and studying the word almost every day since returning, reading the Word of God again has felt so wonderful and is truly a blessing, I feel more connected to the Word than I did all those years ago when I was reading it then.

The more I read the more I wanted to know and understand more however I came to the book of Hebrews and of course those passages in chapter 6 v4-6 and in chapter 10 v26-29 has really concerned me as do other passages that talk about falling away and not being able to be brought back to repentance for it.

Certainly from when I was first baptised, although I was committed and served the Lord (to the best of my ability), I probably didn't study enough and sincerely didn't realise the severe consequences of falling away. And the problem I also have is I don't even know for sure what I've said and done during the time away from the faith that may have made it worse, I know I have talked about other religions to people but I certainly haven't participated in anything, God forbid if I said I didn't believe in God anymore but I can't imagine me saying something like that and meaning it from the heart, if it were so I wouldn't care less to return.

I just know I had drifted and forgotten to acknowledge God. I am really confused and battling this too much and I know God is probably not pleased at this.

So I am constantly going through this battle in my head, reading conflicting interpretations online about Hebrews and I don't have the heart to tell my pastor how I am feeling after returning after for a few months now. There's thoughts in my head that's trying to tell me I have wasted my time returning but I am fighting them saying that no matter what I am going to continue loving Jesus and following Jesus.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading but I guess I am very concerned about this.

Take Care.

 

[Mariusch]

hi Daniel. I heard a true story recently about somebody involved in a church leadership who did really bad things. He didnt repent and he hurt a lot of people. Afer some years he got some disease and while on his bed, dying, a pastor came to him and asked him to repent, because Jesus can take away his sin. All he said was "Neither God can help me after all i've done". This sums in my opinion the Hebrews verse you cited. I think this is what is called "falling from Grace". Its something from within, not like God cant really forgive you. His blood can take away any sin.
I think you might collected some "parasites" while walking away from God, thats where the inside voice telling that you are not forgiven. Holy Spirit usually tells you not to sin, not that you are not forgiven(if you sincerely repent of course).
Hope it helped you.
Jesus bless.

 

[stormdancer0]

NOTHING you can do is so bad that Jesus can't forgive you. If you can still feel bad about sinning, you are still being led by the Spirit. It is, of course, up to you, whether you obey Him or not. But the more you ignore Him, the less you will be able to hear Him. That's why scriptures say, "NOW is the day for repentance." You may not be able to hear Him tomorrow.

 

[setfreeandforgivin]

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Rom 8:31-39)

 

[nylah201]

i was raised catholic. went to parochial school. i fell so in love with God that i nearly drove my friends insane with my constant preaching. i wanted to become a missionary or maybe a nun. but then, at 13 years the unthinkable happened and i became angry with God. i was so filled with anger and, yes, hate for the people who had hurt me that i totally walked away from God. i spent 40 years wandering in a desert of self-pity, loathing and hatred. then, one night i decided to go to church, an assembly of God church. there was a very young pastor there and he spoke the most powerful sermon i had ever heard. he spoke of forgiveness, and the love God has for all of us. after the service i approached him and asked if God could still love me afer all the bad things i had done. he replied:"i don't know how or why, but i do know that He loves me.....and if He can love me He certainly loves you." i went home praying all the way that He would let me know He was real and still loved me. AND HE DID!!! the one thing i will never forget are the words He spoke to me through the Bible,,,,,,"I will never leave you, nor forsake you." even though, through all those years, i left the love of God behind me, i know now He has never left me. all i had to do was look.....and there He was!! ask Him for yourself. He says to prove Him. i'll be praying for you. hope this helps.

 

[Deepest Blue]

Thank you so much for all your responses, they have been very helpful and it means a lot to me.

I came across this passage today which has also been very helpful and has opened my eyes.

2 Corinthians 7:10


10 - For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

I now see the importance of not trying to continually look back and feel terrible as this is self condemnation which isn't right because no amount of me feeling bad about this is going to justify anything towards God.

 

[jasons17]

loving Jesus Christ is all that matters.

 

[Bob Carabbio]

Congratulations! IF you're CONCERNED about your Eternal home, then the Holy SPirit is STILL working with you, and the way back is open.

If you examine the Hebrews scriptures, you'll find that they're "Conditional" - i.e. you CAN'T get back WHILE you're crucifying Christ anew, but when you STOP doing that, and repent - you're back on track. the climb back does take a while, though, and the enemy's voice is gonna tell you that you're NO GOOD every step of the way.

God's voice NEVER talks to you like that, so feel free to tell the ENEMY to stick it where the SUN don't shine. YELL at him if necessary (best done in private).

Learning to IGNORE the enemy's voices (human or otherwise), is a BIG part of your return strategy.

 

[dayhiker]

Glad you found peace Daniel. Praise God. I agree with the others, God never stopped loving you.

 

[redrose42]

Daniel you are precious to the Lord...no one has ever cared for you like JESUS ...you mean so much to Him

maggie

 

[trentlogain2]

hi Daniel. I heard a true story recently about somebody involved in a church leadership who did really bad things. He didnt repent and he hurt a lot of people. Afer some years he got some disease and while on his bed, dying, a pastor came to him and asked him to repent, because Jesus can take away his sin. All he said was "Neither God can help me after all i've done". This sums in my opinion the Hebrews verse you cited. I think this is what is called "falling from Grace". Its something from within, not like God cant really forgive you. His blood can take away any sin.
I think you might collected some "parasites" while walking away from God, thats where the inside voice telling that you are not forgiven. Holy Spirit usually tells you not to sin, not that you are not forgiven(if you sincerely repent of course).
Hope it helped you.
Jesus bless.

thank you for posting this. i'm going to meditate on the bold words in particular when it comes to studying this portion of the Bible.

 

[Messy]

Read the parable of the lost son and know God is very happy you came back. If a backslidden ex pastor's wife as me, who saw His miracles and really had a relationship with Him, can be forgiven and repent again, I don't doubt He's glad with your return too.

 

[The Comforter Has Come]

This is a favorite scripture of the adversary (the devil to hold in bondage unwary or immature believers, who have sinned or failed the Lord somewhere, and keep them under a cloud of condemnation. We must remember that this Epistle (Hebrews) was written to Jews, probably between the martyrdom of James and the destruction Jerusalem around 70 A.D. In the continued presence of the temple ritual still carried on in Jerusalem even after Christ's ascension and Pentecost, and in the face of the apparent delay in setting up the visible Kingdom of God which all Jews expected, there was a strong temptation to repudiate Christianity and to revert back to the old legal dispensation for salvation. It was the apostate, or near apostate, to whom this terrible warning is addressed. It has no particular application to the back-slider, who can at any time break off his sins and seek the Lord, though he also does need to be warned. The great danger here is the willful"falling away" from the atoning work of Christ, the only Savior."

For you were like sheep gone astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your soul". I Peter 2:25

 

[Deepest Blue]

It was the apostate, or [/B][/SIZE]near apostate, to whom this terrible warning is addressed.

So, then this would be a person who left their faith with a clear and decisive mind set of never returning or wanting to return to Christ and not someone who had left the faith due to their own weaknesses and ignorance but after realising their mistake returned back to Jesus being sorry for their mistakes?

 

[The Comforter Has Come]

Daniel,

I couldn't have said it any better myself in short description, than the way you just did.


If backsliders could not come back, God would not invite them to return, nor promise to "heal" their backslidings. But when some one refers to Heb. 6: 4-6. "For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted of the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, if shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance." It is easy to see that this rises far above the ordinary Christian experience, and includes this: "Tasted of the powers of the world to come." Such experiences were many in Paul's day, judging from a careful reading of the New Testament. They are very rare today. He or she who would repudiate such a wonderful experience as that would forfeit salvation. This would be far more than a case of backsliding, it would be apostasy. A backslider returns to his sins truly, but an apostate not only returns to his sins, he denies and repudiates the Christian system, and the entire christian experiance, that is, as it is often spoken, he denies the faith. These "powers" were powers to work miracles. Not many today have such an experience from which to fall. Then there is Heb. 10:26. "For if we sin willfully after that we have recieved the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifices for sins, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing." But Paul doesn't say, "there remaineth no more repentance." He says, "there remaineth no more SACRIFICE for sins." Christ is the only true sacrifice; and when He is repudiated and "trodden under foot," no other sacrifice can avail or save. He who rejects Christ can and will be forgiven, If he repents. So these scriptures do not teach that backsliders cannot be forgiven or return to God.

Hallelujah!!!

 

[vocalyocal]

Hello Everybody,

I hope I am finding you all well

I've just joined the forum and new so I am new to this site, I apologies in advance in I am posting in the wrong place.

Hopefully I can try and bring my post across well.

I've been feeling afflicted over the last few months with the realisation that I may have committed apostasy, or something that resembles it.

I accepted Jesus as my savior during the middle of the '90's and was in the faith for a few years (possibly around the late 90's) where my faith started to weaken to the point of not attending services and falling deeper into the world, pretty much forgetting everything that Jesus taught.

My faith had become so weakened that I didn't acknowledge Jesus or God in anything I did although I did still retain the love / respect / charitable and caring qualities but of course it means nothing without Jesus in your life.

I can't say that in all the time outside of the faith that I was ever really happy and always felt a sense of something deeply missing, pretty much everything around me was meaningless, even with my hobbies I wouldn't say were satisfying me but merely served as consuming time. Everything seemed pointless and I felt depressed and anxious, losing my way completely.

Over the last year or so I felt the sense of returning to Christ but I felt so unsure especially after how I left in the first place. Although I felt the 'nudges' I didn't actually return to Christ until last September when a church member (who's also family) had spoken to me about how Christ still loved me and would forgive me for the things I did if taking it to Him in prayer. It felt lovely returning and the church members were pleased to see me return too, however, I was still feeling very guilty at what I had done (being away for over 10 years) but if I am to believe that Jesus would forgive me then I had to stop feeling this way.

I've stopped with the worldy pleasures and have comitted to Jesus, have been reading and studying the word almost every day since returning, reading the Word of God again has felt so wonderful and is truly a blessing, I feel more connected to the Word than I did all those years ago when I was reading it then.

The more I read the more I wanted to know and understand more however I came to the book of Hebrews and of course those passages in chapter 6 v4-6 and in chapter 10 v26-29 has really concerned me as do other passages that talk about falling away and not being able to be brought back to repentance for it.

Certainly from when I was first baptised, although I was committed and served the Lord (to the best of my ability), I probably didn't study enough and sincerely didn't realise the severe consequences of falling away. And the problem I also have is I don't even know for sure what I've said and done during the time away from the faith that may have made it worse, I know I have talked about other religions to people but I certainly haven't participated in anything, God forbid if I said I didn't believe in God anymore but I can't imagine me saying something like that and meaning it from the heart, if it were so I wouldn't care less to return.

I just know I had drifted and forgotten to acknowledge God. I am really confused and battling this too much and I know God is probably not pleased at this.

So I am constantly going through this battle in my head, reading conflicting interpretations online about Hebrews and I don't have the heart to tell my pastor how I am feeling after returning after for a few months now. There's thoughts in my head that's trying to tell me I have wasted my time returning but I am fighting them saying that no matter what I am going to continue loving Jesus and following Jesus.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading but I guess I am very concerned about this.

Take Care.

the fact that you care one way or the other should be truth enough, for if the Spirit of God left you, you wouldn't even be here

 

[usmilret]

If you genuinely seek repentance and turn to the Lord then it is a guarantee that he will return to you.
I was backslidden for years. The Lord used my son's mistakes to bring me back to him.