no guilt when sinning...

[zao77]

i have been a christian or at least labeled one since i can remember. many of my morals and outlooks on life are based upon the christain faith and the relationship i have with christ. i read post upon post of others that are like me that talk about guilt and conviction when they sin. for me i don't really have any conviction or guilt that troubles me when i sin. for instance when i engage in sexual relations(not intercourse or anything just pleasurable endevours) i feel no guilt whatsoever afterwards and have no regrets later about it. and if i were to have actual intercourse, i would only feel guilt for the reason that i am saving it for my future wife and that i gave that gift to someone else rather than her. not because god forbids it in the bible. am i screwed up? i have tried to feel guilt but all that i get is frustration that i can't feel it. so what is wrong with me does anyone know? just to clarify i get that with anything.... drinking, swearing...etc, not just sex.

 

[fishstix]

You say that you feel no guilt or conviction. As far as you are concerned then, have you ever sinned? Have you ever been sorry for or repented of any sins?

 

[klewlis]

Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit. If there is no conviction in your life then my first guess is that you are not walking in the Spirit. You say that you have been labelled a Christian... what does being a Christian mean to you? Do you consider yourself one?

If yes, then get into the Bible and start praying, and the rest will follow.

If no, then we have some more things to talk about.

 

[Lexi]

I kind of get where you are coming from. I am a Christian too. I do regret or feel guilty about a lot of my sins but not ALL of them, if that makes any sense at all. I wish I could help ya out but I don't know what to say. I thought it might help to know that you aren't alone though.

 

[Injured Soldier]

I know what you mean zao. I used to only feel guilty about wrong stuff I'd done only if I was caught or it turned out badly. Even when I became a Christian. I agree with klewlis, the Spirit convicts us of sin. But I don't know you from a bar of soap, except what you've told, and I have no right to question your relationship with Christ. Reading the Bible and praying would help, but how do you see sin and how God sees it? Do you think God has told you not to do something because that's the way things are. Or is it for your benefit?

The way I came about to a change in my view of sin, I thought two things. Christ is my best friend, no question about it. And He died and bore my sins. As I continue sinning, I am heaping up a bigger burden on my best friend and killing Him. That's when I started feeling a twinge of guilt every time I sinned (don't get me wrong, I'm no superhuman, I still sin up there with the best of them).

Also I saw that God did not tell me "Do this" and "Don't do that" because He's some eternal partypooper and doesn't want me to have fun. He gave me limits for my own good. So everytime I sin, I am engaging in self-destructive behaviour. Whenever I behave rashly and I do something that makes my life harder, I kick myself. Why shouldn't I do it when I sin? If it makes it easier, turn it around to a third person. Would you be upset if someone you loved engaged in self-destructive behaviour like taking drugs, taking uncalculated risks, or attempting suicide? Why should it be OK for you to engage in self-destructive behaviour of a different kind yourself?

But no one can make you feel something you don't. God made you, so He's your best chance to find a solution. Seek and thou shalt find. Good luck.

 

[Ebb]

Having no guilt could be a very serious problem. This is probably how some serial killers get started, like Jeffrey Dahmer and the Son of Sam and Timothy McVeigh. And how was Susan Smith, the mother of two small children, able to drown her two sons in a lake in South Carolina?

If you are a Christian, I think you need a lot of help. And it starts with reading the Bible.

 

[Stanfi]

No Guilt over sin is a very serious problem. It it were me I would question were I really stood with God. Jesus said "If you love me keep my commandments".

I would spend much time in prayer and bible reading.

 

[Messenger30]

i have been a christian or at least labeled one since i can remember. many of my morals and outlooks on life are based upon the christain faith and the relationship i have with christ. i read post upon post of others that are like me that talk about guilt and conviction when they sin. for me i don't really have any conviction or guilt that troubles me when i sin. for instance when i engage in sexual relations(not intercourse or anything just pleasurable endevours) i feel no guilt whatsoever afterwards and have no regrets later about it. and if i were to have actual intercourse, i would only feel guilt for the reason that i am saving it for my future wife and that i gave that gift to someone else rather than her. not because god forbids it in the bible. am i screwed up? i have tried to feel guilt but all that i get is frustration that i can't feel it. so what is wrong with me does anyone know? just to clarify i get that with anything.... drinking, swearing...etc, not just sex.

I believe once we start living in the "light" and refrain from swearing, getting drunk, having unmaritial sex ect....and we live a life we believe to be asked of us by Jesus then when we mess up and sin we feel the conviction.

To accept Jesus is more than words it is actions it is love Him and try your best to think WWJD. At first it may be hard to change from the ways of old. We don't accept Jesus and then He puts a spell over us. It is an acceptance with our heart, soul and actions...life.

Change happens and as we change and as we walk away from the wrongs of life we learn and understand the joy in living and giving our lives to Jesus.

Eternal life is not Life after death....Eternal life is eternally that means today, tomorrow forever.

We are not perfect....but when we give our lives to Jesus....He is and through Him all is possible. We will always sin but the difference is we will feel bad and convicted.....would you be ashamed if when you were doing the things you mentioned above if the "End" came and there before you stood Jesus???? If yes remember although you don't see him He is always right there with you in your heart and soul seeing your every move. He will never forsake you but out of love we obey.

Change seems hard but even with baby steps we can go miles. And without even realizing it before long the sinful life isn't as appealing any longer.

Love and God Bless you,
Messenger

 

[JPPT1974]

[SIZE=3[FONT=Comic Sans MS]We all sin and fall short of the glory of God and all we need to do is ask for forgiveness and repent and ask the Lord to cleanse our hearts and souls and also our minds and get rid and ask God to take out the "trash" in our lives. We will all sin until the end of the world. Like Andrea Yates and Susan Smith who killed their children. How terrorists killed over 3,000 people on four planes, the Pentagon, and World Trade Center on 9/11/01, Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols bombing a federal building in Oklahoma City killing 168 with 19 of them children, people like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahlmer, Aileen Wuernos, John Wayne Gacy kill and murder innocent young women, men, boys, girls, and yet, they, not the victims and their families, are hailed as "heroes", forgetting the ones who lives both living and dead, being in ruins,etc. This is a sick world. It goes why do bad things happen to good people and good things happen to the bad. Who knows??[/FONT][/SIZE]

 

[zao77]

i feel that i will have to clarify what kind of guilt that i feel when i feel it. it's not like i feel no guilt at all but it is more that i don't feel guilt when it comes to myself and my self destructive patterns. now if i went out and killed someone i would be repenting day in and day out. but if i go out and get blasted (drunk) i won't feel any conviction at all. there is a distinct difference.

fishstix - yes i have sinned and i know distinctly when i sin. however my problem (if i have one) is that i don't feel the conviction or the guilt that comes from that of the holy spirit. i don't feel as if i hurt god by what i have done but more that i have hindered and hurt myself. and when that feeling is gone (the feeling of hurting/hindering myself) then i don't feel any guilt at all.

klewlis - i do not consider myself what i call a "mainstream" christian. one that supports all that is and is of the christian RELIGION. i am a christian in the respect that i rely on my relationship with christ as a foundation of my faith rather than the church. i don't need to go to church every sunday to define my faith basically. and i don't need others to tell me how to find god and how to live my life. i feel that i can define that myself with the relationship that i have with my lord.

lexi - thank you

injured soldier - we sin everyday whether we like to or not because we are born of a sinful nature. it isn't until we recieve christ as our lord and savior that we become cleansed of this sin. however, we still sin. it's not like we become saints or anything. we just are seen as cleansed beings in god's eyes. sin then only has earthly consequences. god no longer acknowledges sin in your life because you are cleansed with his blood. sins are defined in the bible because we need guidlines to live our life by. hence the more you sin the harder you make your life. sins are defined for a specific reason. each commandment and each rule or whatever are there for a reason not because god likes to be this annoying prick that makes you do things just for his pleasure but because he knows what it takes for us to operate efficiently in this life. he is our creator for crying out loud. it is like trying to operate your body, heart, soul, and mind without the instruction manual (the bible).... it just doesn't work out right. but if you do use it then everything runs so much smoother and everything can be accomplished that much easier. to me god looks at repenting as "if you are really sorry about something. don't do it again and we won't have this problem". and instead we insist on groveling to him asking for forgiveness when he has already done so...

ebb - i am not a serial killer...... where do you live again??

mesenger 30 - i would not be ashamed at all. and that is where i think i have a problem. but i don't know that it is a problem. what if the majority of christians were brainwashed into thinking that you are supposed to be ashamed? and that really they shouldn't..... (i know this it totally wrong but i couldn't help myself from exposing an alternate view)

thanks all of you for your comments and your support. i hope this answers the majority of all your questions. i apologize for the length. i bid you adieu

 

[Lindsey374]

First of all I would like to say for some of you that are trying to make him feel guilty for not feeling conviction needs the Holy Spirit yourself... that just wasnt cool.
But addressing what you said. I do have a question of whether you ever feel conviction... which is what you are looking for. Some call it guilt but there is a very distinct difference. Guilt is in my opinion not Gods best. Conviction is similiar to guilt but its from the Holy Spirit, and not from something else.
Sometimes this whole thing works in levels. I have things that I can do now and just feel horrible about that 5 years ago I wouldnt have thouht twice about. Convictions come with maturity.
Heres the 2 things that could be happenning
1. If God lays His finger on an issue and you are continuelly ignoring it Gods voice (conviction) will eventually become numb... dangerous place.
2. The issues your are feeling no conviction in is areas God hasnt personally given you a revelation of conviction in. You read the word and are obeying out of obligation not a true heart change. I would encourage you to ask God for a heart change in that area, you want a spirit filled life not behaviour modification....anyone can modify your behavior. But if the Holy Spirit does it its a true sign of a believer.

 

[fishstix]

i feel that i will have to clarify what kind of guilt that i feel when i feel it. it's not like i feel no guilt at all but it is more that i don't feel guilt when it comes to myself and my self destructive patterns. now if i went out and killed someone i would be repenting day in and day out. but if i go out and get blasted (drunk) i won't feel any conviction at all. there is a distinct difference.

fishstix - yes i have sinned and i know distinctly when i sin. however my problem (if i have one) is that i don't feel the conviction or the guilt that comes from that of the holy spirit. i don't feel as if i hurt god by what i have done but more that i have hindered and hurt myself. and when that feeling is gone (the feeling of hurting/hindering myself) then i don't feel any guilt at all.

It sounds like you may just need to do some growing in your faith (something we all need to do). It's difficult to do that by yourself, without any Christian fellowship and without going to church. I really would suggest finding a church to go to. There are many different kinds of churches, some less traditional than others. You should be able to find one that suits you. Perhaps delving deeper into your Bible might help as well. Whenever I read about and think about the whole Easter story, it really gets me thinking about how my sins hurt God. Every hurt that Jesus felt - the physical ones, emotional ones, etc. are because of my sins. Every time I sin, I add to the burden He had to bear.

 

[Ebb]

ebb - i am not a serial killer...... where do you live again??

It is unwise and against the board's policy to give personal addresses over the internet.

I did not say you were a serial killer, but that is how some started.

I will give you my future address, though. Hopefully it will be yours, too. If you are truly sorry for your sins and Christ is your saviour, then it will be. That address is the New Jerusalem.

 

[zao77]

lindsey374 - thank you for your comment and your thoughts on this matter of mine. given the two scenarios that you have i would have to say that it is a mixture of the two. in thinking about what you said i thought really hard why i might be in the situation that i am in....... growing up in the church i was not treated very well by other kids my age (you know how kids can be). this treatment stuck with me for a very long time. i could never become friends with the people that caused me so much pain growing up. making up my mind that i didn't want to be like that of my peers i went into a rebellious phase as many teenagers do. this however was not aimed at making my parents angry this was aimed at being the opposite of what my peers in the church were. i hated seeing all of the plastic smiles and the fake repentance. i never wanted to be like those hypocrites. if i was going to sin i was going to be ok with the fact that i sinned. and not be the sunday morning alter goer....... i since then have learned that i shouldn't model myself on what the people of the church is or isn't but what christ wants me to be. christ is a pure concept, his followers, however, are far from it. and now that i want to feel real conviction and truly repent i feel nothing. i don't know if it is some subconscience thing where if i repent or feel conviction that i would be just like the people that i have despised all my life. i don't know i am still confused about all of this....

fishstix - ok, what does my faith have anything to do with whether or not i feel the holy spirits conviction? my definition of faith is the belief in something that you can't see. trust that something is there when there is no physical evidence of truth. i don't see how this correlates to how i feel conviction. also what makes you think i don't go to church? or that i don't already fellowship with other believers? and what is to say that i don't or haven't already "delved deeply" in the bible? is there anything i said that makes you think otherwise? i don't mean to bash your head into the ground but you are making some assumptions about me that i don't think you are in the position to make.

yes i do go to church and am currently involved in the mens bible study at my church...... i see men like me in the group that feel conviction and yet i do not. that is why i am so frustrated. and i am not about to make myself feel conviction...... i think it is something that needs to come naturally. if you force it then it isn't real or true.

 

[zao77]

It is unwise and against the board's policy to give personal addresses over the internet.

I did not say you were a serial killer, but that is how some started.

I will give you my future address, though. Hopefully it will be yours, too. If you are truly sorry for your sins and Christ is your saviour, then it will be. That address is the New Jerusalem.

dude you crack me up.... learn to take some sarcasm every now and then. i was just messin with you.

 

[fishstix]

fishstix - ok, what does my faith have anything to do with whether or not i feel the holy spirits conviction? my definition of faith is the belief in something that you can't see. trust that something is there when there is no physical evidence of truth. i don't see how this correlates to how i feel conviction. also what makes you think i don't go to church? or that i don't already fellowship with other believers? and what is to say that i don't or haven't already "delved deeply" in the bible? is there anything i said that makes you think otherwise? i don't mean to bash your head into the ground but you are making some assumptions about me that i don't think you are in the position to make.

Well, you did say this:

i do not consider myself what i call a "mainstream" christian. one that supports all that is and is of the christian RELIGION. i am a christian in the respect that i rely on my relationship with christ as a foundation of my faith rather than the church. i don't need to go to church every sunday to define my faith basically. and i don't need others to tell me how to find god and how to live my life. i feel that i can define that myself with the relationship that i have with my lord.

That sounded to me like you don't go to church. I guess I misunderstood what you were saying.

yes i do go to church and am currently involved in the mens bible study at my church...... i see men like me in the group that feel conviction and yet i do not. that is why i am so frustrated. and i am not about to make myself feel conviction...... i think it is something that needs to come naturally. if you force it then it isn't real or true.

Ok, perhaps faith wasn't quite the right word. When I say "grow in faith", I mean grow and mature as a Christian. Like I said, it's something that we all need to do. I didn't mean that you had never delved deep into the Bible; I was merely suggesting it as a good way to grow. Ok, so you go to church - but what kind of attitude are you going with? Is it an attitude that allows you to be taught and corrected? Or are you going in stubborn and unteachable; believing that you can figure it all out on your own and you don't need the church to help you to grow?

 

[Ebb]

My guess is that if it feels good to you when you are doing it, then you don't feel guilty about it. In short,

1. If it feels good, do it.

But you said that killing would make you feel bad and that you would not want to do anything to hurt a future spouse. So, let's change it to,

2. If it feels good, and nobody is getting hurt, do it."

You are a Christian, who has the advantage of the council of the Bible. But you said that even if the Bible says not do it, then you still don't feel guilty. So, let's change it again to

3. If it feels good, and nobody is getting hurt, even if God says not to do it, do it anyway."

Note that the following Proverb is so important that it appears twice in the Bible:

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12, Proverbs 16:25

Romans Chapter 1 describes what happens when man does not keep God in his mind, which pertains to the history of mankind in general, but will also help you in understanding your particular situation.

If you think you are always justified in your own mind, who is to say that one day you will justify perpetrating more serious sins and crimes, just as Timothy McVeigh was convinced he was doing the nation a favor in what he did. Young women who become pregnant think they are doing themselves and their fetuses big favors with abortion on demand. Andrea Yates and Susan Smith thought they were doing their children favors by drowning them.

I think that since you are beginning to feel guilty about not feeling guilty, then you are on the right track. Hopefully, this is the case, and we should all pray that it is. Continue in seeking help from others, and study the Bible further, and pray, especially the words of the Lord's Prayer "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

 

[charligirl]

Your conscience could be 'seared' or 'scarred' like a physcial scar where the nerve endings are in capable of feeling. I have found that if I repeat a sin, it doesn't take long before I cease to feel guilt.. you get used to things, you justify and before you know it it all feels OK.

Did you EVER feel guilt? like the first time you did any of these things?

The only thing you can do is live by the Word, if that says what you are doing is a sin then it is, despite what you may be feeling about it. If you want to live right with God and you are worried you're not because you don't feel guilt then live by the Word and not your feelings.

 

[PetraFan007]

I have been thinking that myself--maybe we SHOULDN'T feel ashamed afterwards, because we all know we are going to sin again anyways, and we know what Jesus Christ has done to rectify this situation, so why wallow in guilt? Repent and move on. It makes sense. Wouldn't that be the way God wants it to be?

 

[zao77]

Your conscience could be 'seared' or 'scarred' like a physcial scar where the nerve endings are in capable of feeling. I have found that if I repeat a sin, it doesn't take long before I cease to feel guilt.. you get used to things, you justify and before you know it it all feels OK.

Did you EVER feel guilt? like the first time you did any of these things?

The only thing you can do is live by the Word, if that says what you are doing is a sin then it is, despite what you may be feeling about it. If you want to live right with God and you are worried you're not because you don't feel guilt then live by the Word and not your feelings.

i know what you are talking about and i think that may be a good reason for me not feeling the conviction. i have done so many bad things in the past that i got used to it and now that i am used to it .....it is sooo hard to reverse it. and yes i have felt guilt many a time but never the sense that i feel god is looking down upon me. it has always been for some other reason. and if there was guilt when i first started doing all of these things i ignored it or like you said i rationalized it some how at the time. one thing i have noticed is that the devil is the king of rationalization..... but once again this still doesn't fix the fact that i don't feel bad about the things that i do.... i guess it just takes time and prayer on my part..... time to heal i suppose?