Nicolas Cage to star in "Left Behind" reboot

[MacFall]

No, I'm not kidding.

Now, now. I know that at this very moment you are having trouble deciding whether this will result in a "so bad it's good" film or a "so bad it just might melt your face off with its awfulness" film. Well, I have a third choice: it just might be awesome.

And here's how: if it were to contain ALL of the following classic Nicolas Cage lines, in the order listed, at dramatically appropriate moments.

Isn't this religious, ah yes. The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners... but you are still not having fun.

All their souls? A thousand souls to burn. Look into my eyes. Your souls are stained with the blood of the innocent. Feel their pain.

I'll tell you, right now... I'm in love with you. But, be that as it may, i am not here to force my twisted soul into your life.

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.

Oh, I see. With all the poor people of this city who wanted only to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die, and not go through with it? You make me sick!

I'm gonna take pleasure in guttin' you, BOY!

Put the BUNNY back in the BOX!

Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

I WANT THAT CAKE!

I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire!

OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!

...Hmmm... I'm not sure whether these got less or more appropriate as they went on.

Anyway! Suggest your own Nic Cage lines that might improve the impending - indeed, looming script of Left Behind: Ham Force Reloaded. (Which isn't the actual title but it should be.)

 

[crishmael]

Anything he yelled while on fire in Kick Ass.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

 

[Nilloc]

Why is Left Behind getting a reboot? Was there such outcry from the public that they couldn't live if there wasn't another movie?

But anyway, Nicolas Cage? Awesome! All we need now is Christopher Walken and it will be movie magic.

 

[MehGuy]

Hmmm...

 

[MacFall]

That should be his default reaction to anything.

"Millions of people disappeared overnight? You don't say!" (Yes I know he never actually said "you don't say" in that movie.)

 

[toastface_grillah]

The original LB came out in 2000. Can't Hollywood use one of those scripts that actor/waiters slide underneath their bathroom stall doors instead of remaking a movie that came out twelve years ago? There should be a 40 year rule for this stuff...

 

[Toro]

Yes!

No!

Don't be caged, Jesus died so we could be free.

 

[Paulie079]

I laughed SO hard when I learned about this a couple weeks ago. I don't know what would possess anyone to want to continue that film series, and especially with Nicolas Cage. It's sure to be hilarious, though

 

[welshman]

This made me smile as my youth are having a sleepover tonight at the church for a movie night and we are watching the Left Behind series lol
Pizza, Pringles, loads of Coca Cola, Nintendo Wii on the church projector, movies and a cooked breakfast in the morning. Lovin' it!

Oh.....and no sleep for me

 

[trentlogain2]

the sad thing is the hollywood remake will probably be better than the first. with the amount of money they are able to funnel in the project. to say the first one was cheesey is an understatement.

 

[MacFall]

You can't get away with not giving the source material some responsibility for that.

 

[Miles]

I have mixed feelings about the Left Behind series, but this sounds interesting.

 

[HotRhymez]

They should've gotten Robert De Niro.

 

[Forge3]

Lol!

 

[Toro]

They should've gotten Robert De Niro.

 

[MacFall]

Why not both of them? This is sounding better and better!

 

[Mayflower1]

I LOVE Left Behind. If they mess up the new ones, then I am definitely going to march down to Hollywood and give them a Christian boot whooping.

trying to remember Nicholas Cage. was he the one who played in Armageddon? that was a pretty good movie...

 

[Forge3]

I look like Nicholas Cage. Should I be his stunt double? :/

 

[Qyöt27]

Why not just call it "Knowing, Part II"? I honestly can't believe I sat through that movie in the first place.