My questions

[Jane_Doe]

Hmm for my holidays, that i remember..i enjoyed going carolling so thats what I would continue to do if was married.

I LOVE caroling! And Christmas music in general. My husband hates it with a fiery passion. Another example of compromise in marriage.

 

[Goodbook]

Mum used to work in the hosptial, we would always go sing in the wards every year to the patients. We dont do it anymore as she dont work there anymore. Her friend was a midwife.

I live in the city and its growing probably 1.5 million about now. Think theres plenty of female doctors now. There didnt used to be, but more are graduating. Just like more women are in engineering.

 

[Goodbook]

Interesting thing was her midwife friend never had children of her own but attended births of hundreds of babies.

Ive never thought to ask her why. Shes married. Shes not related to us by family but we call her aunty anyway.

Some women just are unable to have children. I dont even really know what her husband did..they are now retired.

 

[Goodbook]

I dont really ask married ppl about their sex lives cos its kind of awkward and not done to be nosy about private matters, but how else are you supposed to find out these things. If ask my mum she will just change the subject.

 

[Goodbook]

Never thought to ask a doctor about marriage either cos most doctors i had were male finally when I found a good female doctor, asked her stuff about nutrition. But shes all the way across town and difficult to get to.

 

[Jane_Doe]

I dont really ask married ppl about their sex lives cos its kind of awkward and not done to be nosy about private matters, but how else are you supposed to find out these things. If ask my mum she will just change the subject.

My thoughts on the ideal--
Your parents or other trusted good adults should explain the basics/foundations in regards to physical actions, love/communication, and bonding. This is not intrusive at all. Specifics our for each couple to discover for themselves.

 

[Goodbook]

Had male doctors prescribe me drugs that actually had warnings on them dont take if pregant could damage or cause birth defects.

They didnt actually care that one day, just maybe i would like to have children. :-(

 

[Jane_Doe]

Never thought to ask a doctor about marriage either cos most doctors i had were male finally when I found a good female doctor, asked her stuff about nutrition. But shes all the way across town and difficult to get to.

Again, a doctor is consulted in regards to sexual health. This can happen outside of marriage and is only one part of marriage.

 

[Goodbook]

My thoughts on the ideal--
Your parents or other trusted good adults should explain the basics/foundations in regards to physical actions, love/communication, and bonding. This is not intrusive at all. Specifics our for each couple to discover for themselves.

Was never taught the basics. I think lots of children arent so they go to school find out they can after puberty figure it out themselves. And get into all sorts of trouble. In school and uni we were basically told it was ok to experiment just use a condom. Well hello?!

 

[Jane_Doe]

Had male doctors prescribe me drugs that actually had warnings on them dont take if pregant could damage or cause birth defects.

They didnt actually care that one day, just maybe i would like to have children. :-(

Somethings should not be consumed when pregnant but doesn't have any downside when you're not pregnant. Obviously if you are pregnant or considering becoming pregnant you should let any proscriber know and they will adjust accordingly.

 

[Goodbook]

This is what happens when you grow up heathen.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Was never taught the basics. I think lots of children arent so they go to school find out they can after puberty figure it out themselves. And get into all sorts of trouble. In school and uni we were basically told it was ok to experiment just use a condom. Well hello?!

My thoughts exactly. Parents really should teach these important things, and not export it to some random school encounter.

 

[Jane_Doe]

This is what happens when you grow up heathen.

This is not just a heathen problem. A lot of Christians also export this education (it's a bad idea, in my opinion).

 

[Goodbook]

Somethings should not be consumed when pregnant but doesn't have any downside when you're not pregnant. Obviously if you are pregnant or considering becoming pregnant you should let any proscriber know and they will adjust accordingly.

It had a huge pile of downsides. That i was never told about the long term effects on my body. Thankfully am off them now but how would you explain to your husband i have to take this medicine that may cause birth defects. Shall i just take another lot of birth control pills just to add to all the pills im already being prescribed.

Ugh.

 

[Goodbook]

Just dont like taking pills full stop, and as for diaphragms.,ew. I dont even like being asked to do cervical smears. Just hugely embarassing and sometimes painful.

I dont know. Im just kinda put off. The whole thing. Maybe just stay single, marriage seems too hard. How can you really enjoy life together if your husband hates the things you like.

 

[Goodbook]

Living in the middle of nowhere also doesnt appeal, i think even if married, that would be incredibly lonely.

Not saying its everyones experience but you do kind of have to have a support network of church family not just run off and elope like one lady I know did (now divorced)

 

[Goodbook]

Its nice to raise children though..but think many dont realise these children will grow into adults, your husband may die before you..its kind of, do ppl even know what they getting into when they marry?!

I seem to know a lot of people that didnt. End up divorcing and separating, widowed and lonely. People pity singles who never married but marrieds seem to have it a lot tougher.

Or maybe they just dont count their blessings. The married women in my bible study arent really free to do things. One had so much family stuff going on that she couldnt even come to the group and she was the leader!

 

[Jane_Doe]

It had a huge pile of downsides. That i was never told about the long term effects on my body. Thankfully am off them now but how would you explain to your husband i have to take this medicine that may cause birth defects. Shall i just take another lot of birth control pills just to add to all the pills im already being prescribed.

Ugh.

Do you have that information confirmed by a physician?

Maybe just stay single, marriage seems too hard. How can you really enjoy life together if your husband hates the things you like.

We disagree with a few things, agree and enjoy the vast majority of things. We have a great time together. Me marriage and family brings me such happiness.

 

[Goodbook]

Thats good to hear you happy. I like hearing about happy marriages.

 

[Goodbook]

yes on the medicine it gave warnings. Doctors aren't obliged to tell you, its up to you to read the fine print on drugs. But this was years ago.

Don't worry about it, am not on it anymore.