now we're getting somewhere!
think about the scientific process; it begins with a
theory - a scientifically unproven concept. scientists don't test theories they don't believe in - they meditate on a theory, decide to believe it's likely true (put
faith in it), and then test
to prove it's right - not to prove it's wrong. where would science be if no theory was ever considered for which there wasn't clear evidence to support it? we'd still think the earth is the center of the universe, wouldn't we? the hubbel telescope was launched to prove theories about the universe - not to
disprove them - so yes -
like the scientist, you have to believe in something before you can effectively test for it.
that's what faith in God is - it is a test of His faithfulness to fulfill His promises - but if you won't even consider that there is a God - why would you bother testing Him to prove for yourself that He will make good on His word? like the many scientists that spent much of their lives trying to prove a theory
that they believed was true before they had evidence to support that faith, you will have to dare to believe there is a God or you will certainly not look for Him with all your heart no matter how long it takes to find Him...
actually, i don't need to prove anything to you; your lack of faith has nothing to do with me receiving what God has already given to me before i was born - you must be looking for something or you wouldn't have been here so long - i'm trying to help you find Him.
as for Christians who don't walk in faith perfectly, there are no atheists who walk in faith that there is no God perfectly either - else none would have become Christians. we can trade studies and testimonies until hell freezes over (or forever for you since you don't believe there is a hell), but your unbelief doesn't change the miracles i've seen in my life and the lives of others; trying to convince me that there is no God is like trying to tell a man who's doing a backstroke in a pool that there's no water in it - i believed, then tested God through faith, and i've seen - so now i know there is a Good God who loves everyone selflessly; and i understand why bad things happen in the earth - you can too if you'll test the theory to prove it rather than disprove it.
back to God's system of delegated authority, when Adam and Eve yielded their authority in the earth to the devil that you don't believe in, that same devil gained access to their unrestricted authority in the earth. at this point, God had to do something to keep His creation from falling into the hands of the devil, since the devil was effectively holding man hostage, He could destroy man to get to the devil, or He could break His word - and that's something God can not do (yes - there is really something God can't do - He can not break His word). but He loved man so much that He did the only other thing He could do - He became a man named Jesus, lived His mortal life without yielding His unrestricted authority in the earth to the devil, and then gave that authority back to people in flesh bodies - but like the scientist and their theories, you have to believe Him in order to test this and receive it. and like the scientist, the Christian doesn't either completely believe without doubt, or simply disbelieve; there is a fight to believe and not doubt in every area of life - prosperity, healing, deliverance, etc. the unbelief i've soaked up from the world of doubters is enough to bind my faith in the area of flying bullets, so until i'm confident that i can stop bullets with my faith, i'm gonna be smart and dive in a foxhole for the time being. but there is a powerful testimony of a man who did overcome his doubt in this way -
http://kasontan.livejournal.com/972.html - but if you won't consider that this is possible (theory), you won't consider the evidence of others either...
as for how you're doing, you can make bold statements here, but you aren't fooling me - when it's late at night and you can't sleep, and your mind drifts to the pointlessness of this fleeting life on this earth - you face the emptiness that only God can fill just like everyone else