My heart is heavy...

[ashley lynne]

My step dad passed away in august from a very long battle with cancer. Ive never felt this sad before and Im very worried for my mom. I was very close to my step dad (he was like a dad to me) and we are having the hardest time right now, please pray for both myself and my mom.
Thank you,

MissyA

 

[9T6]

Parting with a loved one is always one of the hardest things we have to live through. Perhaps the most difficult thing to deal with is the total finality of it - the helplessness that comes from realising that there is nothing we can do to undo it. But one thing that does live on through even death's barrier is love, and we need to cherish that love.

We know that mortal death is not spiritual death and therefore the belief that someone has passed over that border and is now on the other side gives us the hope of meeting again. It is love that fuels that hope and it remains in full bloom in spite of all the agony and heartache we feel right now.

Death of a loved one reminds us how fragile life truly is and how deep and wonderful the gift of love really is. Your mom needs to share in your love right now and for you to support each other. No matter how terrible the ache is now, time does heal gradually and you will find that the memories of the times you shared together will overcome the pain and heartache. You will find that life takes on a new, greater depth and meaning, and will bring you more and more fulfillment as time goes by.

No matter how many or few are the mortal years of our lifetimes, the spirit lives on in love for ever. May God grant you and your mom peace in your hearts in the midst of your suffering - as only he can.

 

[tiradas]

Missy,

I am praying for you and your mom. My daughter went to live with Jesus when she was 2 years and 8 months old...in June 1995. Losing a loved one is one hard trial. I won't say things that you don't really want to hear. I remember people saying things to me, and I just wanted to scream at them. Would you and/or your mom be open to attending a grief support group?

I will pray for you.

 

[Honibee]

Hi Missy- I WILL pray for you and your mom. The greatest comfort you
will find will come from God. Like others here, I've lost loved ones in death.
Everyone goes through their own grief in their own way and time frame. It
IS a good idea to have people who can act as a support for you and your mom.

 

[markbelieves]

MissyA,

My prayers are with you. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 17 and I know how difficult it can be. I pray for the Lord to be there for you, your mother, and everyone in your family to provide the comfort and peace that only He can bring.

Peace,

Mark

 

[AwesomeMachine]

Missy, there is nothing I can say to make things better for you. I have just prayed for you, and will continue to do so. Prayer delivered me from suicide, bipolar disorder, and hepatitis c. My Sister died at age 36 about three years ago.

There is simply no explanation for the grief. It is just there. I know where it comes from, but I don't know if you want to know. When a loved stepfather dies, his widow and children grieve. There is a loss, which must be suffered. In some European cultures, The women in the family get together at the casket and wail, scream, and pound on the coffin in grief for their loved one dying.

I know what it is like to lose a loved one. If grief is extreme, there is one thing to look at seriously. Do you have any regrets for yourself over what you would like to have gotten emotionally from your stepfather? In other words, did you get the love you needed from him?

When people grieve they are grieving what wasn't. People grieve what they didn't get from their loved one. You are being asked to let go of someone when you don't totally have them to give up. You never really got what you needed in your heart from him. I hardly knew my Sister when she died, from suicide. I hadn't gotten what I needed from my Sister. My heart was not filled with her love. When she died I was asked to give up something I never had.

This put me into emotional debt. I couldn't let go, but I couldn't hang on, either. Both were too painful. Then I realized, our relationship with God contains all the different types of love relationships. A Christian and God are to each other, Parent, Child, Spouse, and Sibling. Then I knew, if I prayed, God would give me what I didn't get from my Sister. God did, and I was able to let my Sister go. I still miss her, but it doesn't hurt, because God gave me what people really couldn't. It all begins with honesty about what you need that you didn't get.

Get your family together and have everyomne say something meaningful about what you stepfather meant to them.