and it bothers me still. Shes slept with more than a few guys..this was before i was in the picture..but since i met her, we been to church every weekend, regulalry study the bible, and she was baptized 2 weeks. ago...i know youre a new creation when ou are in christ, but knowing abou ther past still bothers me. I dont know her fulll past, i chose to not know it full because i feel it will just make me more insecure.
but who am i to say. i have a bad past. we all have bad pasts. what can i do to change my thought process on this?
If you believe in STD's and don't operate on a supernatural healing level, getting both checked out for STD's before marriage could be a good move.
And really, if you arrive at marriage, what matters is who does God want you to marry? If she is God's match for you, then what God esteems is what your focus should be. If she is not the person God wants for you, then she is not the one and her past does not factor into this.
Also, how committed to Christ is she? I mean if she is just tagging along with you to church and is doing it for you, that's very shakey, wishy-washy Christianity. If she actually became a Christian because she wanted to, that's different.
As for insecurity, I think we should always endeavor to be secure in Christ, and therefore, how the world evaluates us in terms of esteeming sexual partners or performance in the bedroom is irrelevant if we're mature. And with our culture it really does make us men feel like junk because 60%+ of women sleep with 30% of the guys or less. And maybe the numbers are wrong, but if you're outside that, it's intimidating. It's all negatives in God's kingdom, but in how the world evaluates us, this stuff is considered.
And so, I would say, if she evaluates you on this carnal level at all ever, she's wrong. And if she is a baby Christian as it seems, it's quite likely she would evaluate you on that carnal level. Christians take years to mature, and that's only if we apply ourselves diligently to God's word by renewing our minds. So the question is then her commitment to Christ, because even if she evaluates you incorrectly because she is a new Christian, she could grow out of that in Jesus and mature.
So me personally, I wouldn't trust a woman just because she converted. It would take more than that to earn my trust, and looks or a nice personality is insufficient if we go by scripture. That said, if you're both new/immature Christians (not intended as an insult), then maybe that balances out and you learn together.
But if you are mature in the faith by revelation of God's word, and she is young in the faith as you say, then I think the match might be unbalanced... one of the main reasons being is you probably have not even met who she really is yet. Took me over a year before any glimmer of who I really was in Christ started to pop out of me. Everything before that was a fake person who was dead and falling off of me.
