My friend turned transgender

[SandCastle91]

So I emailed this question to my priest (he said we can email questions) but he hasn't answered and it has been like a week. He is a busy guy, so he probably saw the email, wanted to respond, had to think about it, then forgot all about it. I don't like to keep bugging people, so I'll ask here.

Someone I went to college with, who was my friend, came out as transgender last year. I haven't spoken to him in like 4 or 5 years. People just grow apart, as you know. I'm trying to not sound super judgmental since I am fairly socially conservative. Obviously there isn't anything I can do. How should those who are truly Christian approach transgender people? Are they viewed differently than others who've made very, very sinful acts the foundation of their lives?

I really want to find my old friend and read him the Riot Act, or throw rocks at him, but I know that wouldn't be very pious of me since we're all sinners and I'm pretty horrible in my own right (I'll spare you the list).

 

[ArmyMatt]

Lord have mercy.

no, they shouldn't be viewed as worse sinners or whatever, since you can't see what's going on in their heart. so you approach them with prayer and compassion, but without compromise.

 

[Shrewd Manager]

How should those who are truly Christian approach transgender people?

Your friend has been deceived by the prince of this world. He's a victim, the devil laughs at him and uses his corrupted image to mock God. Your friend does not know the love of God.

So how do you show him? I don't know. But Christ meets people where they are. So engage and listen to his story first. Discern the need. I'm guessing he's been alienated, rejected or betrayed and now is looking for a new identity/ recognition in all the wrong places.

If the opportunity arises, explain to him how you came to know true friendship in Jesus, there is someone absolutely trustworthy and true who knows his suffering. How Christ's love can heal and restore him.

 

[JohnAshton]

Love you friend. Live your principles.

You will find a way.

 

[archer75]

So I emailed this question to my priest (he said we can email questions) but he hasn't answered and it has been like a week. He is a busy guy, so he probably saw the email, wanted to respond, had to think about it, then forgot all about it. I don't like to keep bugging people, so I'll ask here.

Someone I went to college with, who was my friend, came out as transgender last year. I haven't spoken to him in like 4 or 5 years. People just grow apart, as you know. I'm trying to not sound super judgmental since I am fairly socially conservative. Obviously there isn't anything I can do. How should those who are truly Christian approach transgender people? Are they viewed differently than others who've made very, very sinful acts the foundation of their lives?

I really want to find my old friend and read him the Riot Act, or throw rocks at him, but I know that wouldn't be very pious of me since we're all sinners and I'm pretty horrible in my own right (I'll spare you the list).

Definitely don't throw rocks.

Your friend is no worse than anyone else. Take it easy. Talk to your priest when you can. Don't discuss this much online.

 

[prodromos]

If you see someone who has been attacked and is lying on the ground, you don't start kicking them, do you.
Your friend has been attacked by the evil one and is badly wounded. They need Christ, the Good Physician, so the best you can do is pray for them and do your utmost to be Christ to them.

 

[archer75]

Oh, definitely talk to your priest about this desire to throw rocks and read the riot act.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

My first piece of advice is don’t u see any circumstance use the term “transgender.” You’re using the language of the evil one and secular powers. The more you use these terms, you play by their rules on their level and the sick theology of this evil lifestyle steadily seeps in.

 

[Antoni]

Email would not be the most appropriate method of asking your priest. At the minimum, call him. Better yet, schedule a time to see him at Church and speak with him face to face.

 

[Not David]

Lord have mercy!
Just keep praying.

 

[Oldmantook]

So I emailed this question to my priest (he said we can email questions) but he hasn't answered and it has been like a week. He is a busy guy, so he probably saw the email, wanted to respond, had to think about it, then forgot all about it. I don't like to keep bugging people, so I'll ask here.

Someone I went to college with, who was my friend, came out as transgender last year. I haven't spoken to him in like 4 or 5 years. People just grow apart, as you know. I'm trying to not sound super judgmental since I am fairly socially conservative. Obviously there isn't anything I can do. How should those who are truly Christian approach transgender people? Are they viewed differently than others who've made very, very sinful acts the foundation of their lives?

I really want to find my old friend and read him the Riot Act, or throw rocks at him, but I know that wouldn't be very pious of me since we're all sinners and I'm pretty horrible in my own right (I'll spare you the list).

Search for Rosaria Butterfield on YouTube. She has an interesting testimony not as a former transgender but as a former gay activist and former English professor at Syracuse University. Her testimony details what changed her mind regarding her lifestyle and how others ministered to her prior to becoming a Christian. I think the same principles would apply to your friend.

 

[JohnTh]

Aside of what was said, pray for him.
Also, „transgender” is, in fact, an effect. In order to know how to handle the situation, if the conditions permit, have a loving chat with him/her/it (??) in order to find the cause.

Then you will know more how to behave to him but in this behavior do not think too much „how to turn him/her/it back” but how „to push him/her/it more closer to God”. God himself - if you pray - will help you and tell you there, in place, how to behave.

 

[A_Thinker]

I really want to find my old friend and read him the Riot Act, or throw rocks at him, but I know that wouldn't be very pious of me since we're all sinners and I'm pretty horrible in my own right (I'll spare you the list).

It also would not be particularly productive. It would likely result in your friend becoming more turned off to the christian message.

Remember that the core of the christian message is LOVE. Jesus came to SAVE, ... no to JUDGE (John 3:16-17) ... and we are called to follow in His footsteps. Your christian calling is NOT to ensure that your friend understands that you disapprove of his/her current choice. They know that already. You would just be piling on.

What is clear is that your friend is experiencing a lot of confusion, ... and, likely, a lot of rejection right now. The trans mindset is based in deeply held feelings of not being correctly placed in life.

Your opportunity, as a christian, is to somehow demonstrate that you remain a loving friend, ... despite your friend's current struggles. You might choose to talk to him ... to try and understand what he's been dealing with in his life. Sometimes when the deeper issues are resolved, trans persons will decide that they are more comfortable in the gender in which they were born.

It may be your assignment, should you choose to accept it, to advise your friend toward productive positive directions in life, rather than in directions which will result in changes which cannot be undone.

But be advised, ... that such a ministry as described will not, typically, be a short-lived experience. You may have to be deeply invested ... for a long period of time. This would be the essence of demonstrating true christian LOVE.

 

[buzuxi02]

Obviously there isn't anything I can do. How should those who are truly Christian approach transgender people? Are they viewed differently than others who've made very, very sinful acts the foundation of their lives?

You havent seen this fella in years I would just move on. They are self murderers according to the canons. Thankfully we can always find and make new friends. Less disfunction in your life the better.

 

[SandCastle91]

Well, thanks for the input everyone.

Firstly, the sermon today in church was about forgiveness. We heard the story about the servant who was indebted to his master, and the master wanted to sell him to pay the debts, but the servant begged him not to and so the master had mercy on him and forgave him his debts. Then that same servant went out and didn't forgive the debts owed to him by others, and the merciful master was very unpleased.

That spoke to me on this matter specifically. This old friend of mine forgave me a million times over back in the day. Now, he wasn't any angel himself. He did/said some things that weren't good too, but in hindsight I was worse in my behavior. I have reasons for it, but that doesn't make it better.

So now I'm sitting here judging him harshly, thinking about how much I really don't like people like him. I'm reminded of the story I heard today. He put up with my nonsense and forgave me, knowing it was probably due to me being abused/neglected as a kid, and here I am wanting to throw rocks and generally do no good. I'm the bigger threat to the world.

As far as reaching out to him goes, I don't think I'm the one who can do that. He clearly has a psychological issue and I'm not equipped to deal with such matters. I'm a secretary, not a doctor. Besides, he lives two states away now and we haven't really spoken in years. I think he is surrounded by people who accept him, and it appears that has been his whole life. His family loved him, he had a girlfriend, etc. But I don't know.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Well, thanks for the input everyone.

Firstly, the sermon today in church was about forgiveness. We heard the story about the servant who was indebted to his master, and the master wanted to sell him to pay the debts, but the servant begged him not to and so the master had mercy on him and forgave him his debts. Then that same servant went out and didn't forgive the debts owed to him by others, and the merciful master was very unpleased.

That spoke to me on this matter specifically. This old friend of mine forgave me a million times over back in the day. Now, he wasn't any angel himself. He did/said some things that weren't good too, but in hindsight I was worse in my behavior. I have reasons for it, but that doesn't make it better.

So now I'm sitting here judging him harshly, thinking about how much I really don't like people like him. I'm reminded of the story I heard today. He put up with my nonsense and forgave me, knowing it was probably due to me being abused/neglected as a kid, and here I am wanting to throw rocks and generally do no good. I'm the bigger threat to the world.

As far as reaching out to him goes, I don't think I'm the one who can do that. He clearly has a psychological issue and I'm not equipped to deal with such matters. I'm a secretary, not a doctor. Besides, he lives two states away now and we haven't really spoken in years. I think he is surrounded by people who accept him, and it appears that has been his whole life. His family loved him, he had a girlfriend, etc. But I don't know.

then pray, pray, pray.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

A few years ago, I found out that one of my dearest fraternity brothers was, well, now a sister. Finally saw her earlier this summer after 20 years. Yes, it was a shock, but since I've never walked on that path, all that I can do is pray and love.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Incorrect. He is not a sister, and as an Orthodox Christian, it’s important that you don’t use the language of the seculars and actually believe he’s a she.

You’re right about the last part!

A few years ago, I found out that one of my dearest fraternity brothers was, well, now a sister. Finally saw her earlier this summer after 20 years. Yes, it was a shock, but since I've never walked on that path, all that I can do is pray and love.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

Do we really have to? Its been a bad long day and I just quit being a psalti and close to walking out of church all together.

 

[prodromos]

Do we really have to? Its been a bad long day and I just quit being a psalti and close to walking out of church all together.

No we don't. It appears that you have more than enough struggles to deal with, without adding any more to your plate.
You have my poor prayers, for whatever they are worth. Lord have mercy.