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Maybe rather than worrying about someone else's personal choices and trying to think how best to condemn them, you could worry about doing some of the stuff the Bible actually says makes you a good Christian? Feed the hungry, visit people in prison or hospital, you know, stuff like that?
Don't confront her at all.
Ask if she wants to talk about it, and if she says yes let her talk and do not say anything. You're allowed to ask open, non-accusatory questions, but do not make statements.
If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, tell her you respect her boundaries and do not push it further. If she says she doesn't want to answer certain questions, do not push them further.
If she asks for your advice, you can say something. If she doesn't ask for your advice, say nothing.
If you confront her or if you give her your unsolicited opinion, you are doing it wrong. This is how you make someone become defensive, this is how you make them not want to be around you or talk to you. When someone feels that someone is accusing them or judging them, they will close their ears and turn away.
Not necessarily, just usually.
talking to a friend and passing judgement on a friend are not the same thingSo we are supposed to spend every minute of our days feeding the hungry, so that we dont even have a spare 10 minutes to spend talking to a friend?
Well, in order of importance... he certainly seems to have spent a lot more time looking after the less fortunate and telling people to look after the less fortunate than he did judging others. I can think of plenty of times he said to not judge others and worry about our own behaviour, actually passing judgement? There's the money changers in the temple, and I can't think of any other occasions.Did Jesus spend all his time feeding the hungry? Or did he also find time to speak out against sin?
talking to a friend and passing judgement on a friend are not the same thing
Well, in order of importance... he certainly seems to have spent a lot more time looking after the less fortunate and telling people to look after the less fortunate than he did judging others. I can think of plenty of times he said to not judge others and worry about our own behaviour, actually passing judgement? There's the money changers in the temple, and I can't think of any other occasions.
I am not entirely sure, but all the non denominational church's in our city typically have almost an identical statement of faith and they dissagre with abortion based on how closely they adhere to the bible, so I don't see how they could favor that decision at her church. Part of their wedsite shows they are clearly against homosexual marriage so I would assume abortion too. You don't really hear of church's being ok with abortion here. At least not the mega church's, which are the type she and I attend (I go to calvary chapel).
A fascinating, if not a little scary, article. Thanks for posting.Fair enough. I don't know if it's relevant or helpful at all, but the situation reminds me of this occasional theme among anti-abortion people who have abortions:
The only moral abortion is my abortion.
you can forgive her.About three years ago, one of my best friends (who I am now now longer very close to) had an abortion. When we were closer friends a few years ago, she expressed worry over if she did the right thing or not, but often leaned to it being the right thing. She said she was drinking heavily at the time she found out (she wasn’t very far along) she was pregnant and with an abusive man.
Flash forward a few years and she had children with an unbeliever, whom she is not married too. When I met up with her recently, she brought up the abortion saying that she believes it was the right thing to do.
What’s odd is that she attends church full time (much more so than when she had the abortion) and she still feels that what she did was right. I have kept my mouth shut regarding the situation as well as her still being intimate with her children’s father, even though she is not married.
Should I confront her on this issue, trying to understand where she is coming from, if we see each other again, or should I continue to let it go?
She feels that the child would not have a good life had she given birth. That she and the kid would be in peril had the events played out differently.
Fair enough. I don't know if it's relevant or helpful at all, but the situation reminds me of this occasional theme among anti-abortion people who have abortions:
The only moral abortion is my abortion.
You don't have to understand it, the thread isn't about you.I'll never understand this philosophy of problem solving.
"Since your life might have some difficulties to work through I'll just kill you"
You don't have to understand it, the thread isn't about you.
I can think of plenty of times he said to not judge others and worry about our own behaviour, actually passing judgement? There's the money changers in the temple, and I can't think of any other occasions.
Doing one does not preclude the other.
About three years ago, one of my best friends (who I am now now longer very close to) had an abortion. When we were closer friends a few years ago, she expressed worry over if she did the right thing or not, but often leaned to it being the right thing. She said she was drinking heavily at the time she found out (she wasn’t very far along) she was pregnant and with an abusive man.
Flash forward a few years and she had children with an unbeliever, whom she is not married too. When I met up with her recently, she brought up the abortion saying that she believes it was the right thing to do.
What’s odd is that she attends church full time (much more so than when she had the abortion) and she still feels that what she did was right. I have kept my mouth shut regarding the situation as well as her still being intimate with her children’s father, even though she is not married.
Should I confront her on this issue, trying to understand where she is coming from, if we see each other again, or should I continue to let it go?
I feel like I am in a tough spot because I don't want to judge her, but at the same time, it is so obvious the thing she is doing wrong according to the bible. Regarding speaking to the pastor, she goes to a mega church, in which I am unfamiliar.
Thank you everyone. I hope this clarifies things a bit more...
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