my boyfriend is not a Christian

[Matariki]

I dont think that you should make him a christain, he is an atheist for a reason. So just accept it and love him for who he is and not what he beileves.

She can love him, however if you read what Paul has to say in the NT about gender roles in relationships, with him being atheist it won't work. It will cause more conflict than anything else. They are best to part ways and stay in the friend zone.

 

[Zipi]

She can love him, however if you read what Paul has to say in the NT about gender roles in relationships, with him being atheist it won't work. It will cause more conflict than anything else. They are best to part ways and stay in the friend zone.

Yes, but dont you think they should at least try?

 

[Katarinea]

Much though I don't want to say this. . .you need to break up with him. God says we are not to be married to unbelievers.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Corinthians 7:14-15

This verse tells us that we shouldn't be "yoked", or put together with, an unbeliever, and tells us why.

But some people say, "I might be able to lead them to Christ!" or, "They're not a bad person."

The Bible says, "“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”" 1 Corinthians 6:12-16

As a Christian, you have been washed clean from sin, and forgiven. These verses talk about how we might be able to do something, but it's not good for us. You might be able to drink 14 Red Bulls in a day, but that's definitely bad for you! Here, these verses are specifically talking about sexual immorality, but it also talks about how you are part of Christ, and how we shouldn't be united with that which is not of Christ.

I really don't want to have to tell you that you need to exit this relationship, and I understand your pain. I was once in love with an amazing guy, who was kind, sweet, smart, understanding, and so much more, but he didn't believe. When I began to get closer to God, I realized that God. . .doesn't want us to be married to those who don't believe. It's a hard thing, and I cried a lot over it. Being in close friendship with someone who doesn't share your beliefs will hurt your relationship with God, and that makes it either God or the person. I chose God, and it was REALLY hard -- but it's been worth it. I gave up my life to God, and told Him I would be happy with whatever path He took my life down. Almost a year later, I started dating the man I'm fairly certain I will marry, and he is amazing in so many ways, and he knows and loves God! God knows best, and He WILL provide for you!

I'll be praying!

 

[christian78]

I'm glad that wasn't your intentions, but I'm curious, what kind of things did you present to her which resulted in her changed mind?

I'd like to know also.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

I really don't want to have to tell you that you need to exit this relationship, and I understand your pain. I was once in love with an amazing guy, who was kind, sweet, smart, understanding, and so much more, but he didn't believe. When I began to get closer to God, I realized that God. . .doesn't want us to be married to those who don't believe. It's a hard thing, and I cried a lot over it. Being in close friendship with someone who doesn't share your beliefs will hurt your relationship with God, and that makes it either God or the person. I chose God, and it was REALLY hard -- but it's been worth it. I gave up my life to God, and told Him I would be happy with whatever path He took my life down. Almost a year later, I started dating the man I'm fairly certain I will marry, and he is amazing in so many ways, and he knows and loves God! God knows best, and He WILL provide for you!

So basically build yourself a bubble that only allows those who share your views in, and leaves any opposing views on the outside? That's a terrible idea that just leads bad things.

 

[Katarinea]

So basically build yourself a bubble that only allows those who share your views in, and leaves any opposing views on the outside? That's a terrible idea that just leads bad things.

It's not a bubble -- it's a dot, if you want to use shapes. The intent of marriage, as designed by God, is that one man and one woman become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) How can they possibly do so if they are not united in what they think? There cannot be perfect unity here on Earth, but we should try to follow God's commands, because they were designed with our good in mind.

And. . .I don't quite see how you took what I said as "build yourself a bubble". However, if you wish to discuss this with me, please message me; I will not derail this thread into argument that does not aid the OP.

 

[DreamEater]

It's sad how everyone is telling the OP to break up with him because of the difference in beliefs. If you are happy with him and you guys can respect each others beliefs then ride the relationship out. What everyone is telling would be the same advice if, here's an example: let's say you were both believers, but one of you is vegetarian and one of you is not. You wouldn't break up with him over your different beliefs if he made you happy and respected your choice to be vegetarian would you? Probably not but would both make accommodations so each could be happy. Do what makes you happy.

 

[Scientastic]

I can't believe I'm hearing this, it's disgusting. Some of you are arguing this only on the grounds of your own faith. They're YOUR beliefs, not his. His beliefs (or lack thereof) are just as valid as yours, you people need to accept this. You're telling a person to close somebody dear out of their heart, over the fact that they have a different idealogical belief. Would your Jesus want you to close your heart to others?

Tolerance and acceptance are good grounds for a healthy relationship. The girl is asking for some advice, not dogma. I say that both she and her boyfriend should be open to each other's beliefs. You know what happens when people aren't tolerant? The Spanish Inquisition, The Holocaust, Joseph Stalin, The Armenian Genocide, etc.

I'm glad that wasn't your intentions, but I'm curious, what kind of things did you present to her which resulted in her changed mind?

I'm not going to turn this into a theological debate and have people bulldoze this poor girl's feelings while she has a legitimate issue. Send me a PM if you're interested in getting into this, we'll do it there.

 

[solarwave]

The points being made by mostly the Christians and mostly the atheists make sense.

It seems quite obvious that if this relationship can be kept then that is great. These things CAN work out, but not always. In a way love should surpass ideology.

On the other hand it makes complete sense why many Christians are saying that they should break up. Many think that the boyfriend could pose a threat to her eternal destiny. It is different from being a vegetarian. Personally I don't think salvation consists of acceptance of head knowledge, but rather heart knowledge (love).

I really don't know what to advise. To be honest teenagers might not be the most wise people on this subject, though I know many adults would say the same sort of things that have been said here.

 

[DigiDigi]

It's not a bubble -- it's a dot,

This made me LOL so hard.

I can't believe I'm hearing this, it's disgusting. Some of you are arguing this only on the grounds of your own faith. They're YOUR beliefs, not his. His beliefs (or lack thereof) are just as valid as yours, you people need to accept this. You're telling a person to close somebody dear out of their heart, over the fact that they have a different idealogical belief. Would your Jesus want you to close your heart to others?

Tolerance and acceptance are good grounds for a healthy relationship. The girl is asking for some advice, not dogma. I say that both she and her boyfriend should be open to each other's beliefs. You know what happens when people aren't tolerant? The Spanish Inquisition, The Holocaust, Joseph Stalin, The Armenian Genocide, etc.




I'm not going to turn this into a theological debate and have people bulldoze this poor girl's feelings while she has a legitimate issue. Send me a PM if you're interested in getting into this, we'll do it there.

Don't feed the trolling, your wasting your time, trust me.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

This made me LOL so hard.

Don't feed the trolling, your wasting your time, trust me.

Is it really trolled? Because that's not exactly appropriate on a thread in which the OP seems to legitimately have a problem.

 

[Matariki]

Yes, but dont you think they should at least try?

In my opinion, no.

 

[Matariki]

I can't believe I'm hearing this, it's disgusting. Some of you are arguing this only on the grounds of your own faith. They're YOUR beliefs, not his. His beliefs (or lack thereof) are just as valid as yours, you people need to accept this. You're telling a person to close somebody dear out of their heart, over the fact that they have a different idealogical belief. Would your Jesus want you to close your heart to others?

Tolerance and acceptance are good grounds for a healthy relationship. The girl is asking for some advice, not dogma. I say that both she and her boyfriend should be open to each other's beliefs. You know what happens when people aren't tolerant? The Spanish Inquisition, The Holocaust, Joseph Stalin, The Armenian Genocide, etc.




I'm not going to turn this into a theological debate and have people bulldoze this poor girl's feelings while she has a legitimate issue. Send me a PM if you're interested in getting into this, we'll do it there.

The problem isn't so much what they choose to personally believe in, that is their choice. The problem is when people start butting heads, I've seen Christians and non Christians get married only to divorce over their differences. If Christians would just listen and keep their hormones in check then these sort of problems will not occur because they didn't get involved sexually with each other in the first place.

Friends yes. Lovers? hell no. Think about it.
For Christians, its God's way or the highway.

 

[Scientastic]

Friends yes. Lovers? hell no. Think about it.
For Christians, its God's way or the highway.

I find that extremely immature. I know many people who have been able to get along just fine, despite their ideological differences, some Christians included. Don't you think that such a forceful mentality is outdated in this modern age as we take leaps towards tolerance? You're better off in the dark ages if you can't accept another's beliefs.

 

[solarwave]

The problem isn't so much what they choose to personally believe in, that is their choice. The problem is when people start butting heads, I've seen Christians and non Christians get married only to divorce over their differences. If Christians would just listen and keep their hormones in check then these sort of problems will not occur because they didn't get involved sexually with each other in the first place.

Friends yes. Lovers? hell no. Think about it.
For Christians, its God's way or the highway.

It would be interesting to know the statistics on in how many cases divorce happens (compared to when two Christians divorce) and also how often one converts to the others belief system. It isn't actually obvious on which side those statistics would fall.

It is true that a Christian should be following Christ, but what is Christs example? For me devotion to goodness and love is probably the biggest aspect of Christianity. An atheists can be good and loving generally. There will be disagreements but there are disagreements between Christians too. The atheist is a strong atheist then it could cause problems, but if they simply don't care too much then it might be ok.

Of course I could be wrong.

I find that extremely immature. I know many people who have been able to get along just fine, despite their ideological differences, some Christians included. Don't you think that such a forceful mentality is outdated in this modern age as we take leaps towards tolerance? You're better off in the dark ages if you can't accept another's beliefs.

Don't you think there is a difference between religious beliefs and many other types? Religion is normally highly personal (if they are a strong believer) and goes to the core of ones outlook and understanding of literally everything. Political beliefs can be nearly the same, with two different parties demonizing the other. So two people with very strong and opposing political beliefs might find it harder to marry.

So I guess my point is when two people have opposing beliefs that they have a strong and personal commitment to, then perhaps it could cause problems. Of course not all Christians or atheists have this strength of worldview.

 

[Jack544]

She'll get over it. She is young. And he might not even be a soulmate. If she chooses to break up with him, then he was obviously not the one. If he is, then in the end it will work out. That's all I have to say on this romantic relationship matter.

Oh, but she is attached to him already.

 

[Scientastic]

Don't you think there is a difference between religious beliefs and many other types? Religion is normally highly personal (if they are a strong believer) and goes to the core of ones outlook and understanding of literally everything. Political beliefs can be nearly the same, with two different parties demonizing the other. So two people with very strong and opposing political beliefs might find it harder to marry.

So I guess my point is when two people have opposing beliefs that they have a strong and personal commitment to, then perhaps it could cause problems. Of course not all Christians or atheists have this strength of worldview.

I don't care. No person has the right to put their beliefs above another's. Otherizing somebody else based on their beliefs is a very ignorant thing to do. It's not logical for somebody to think that they are 100% correct. When you accept a religion, you take it on FAITH, not fact or logic. Therefore you should accept the fact that other people are doing the same thing with a different set of beliefs. So let them have their beliefs, you can't prove them wrong.

She'll get over it. She is young. And he might not even be a soulmate. If she chooses to break up with him, then he was obviously not the one. If he is, then in the end it will work out. That's all I have to say on this romantic relationship matter.

This is probably the most mature thing anybody said about the issue.

 

[solarwave]

I don't care. No person has the right to put their beliefs above another's. Otherizing somebody else based on their beliefs is a very ignorant thing to do. It's not logical for somebody to think that they are 100% correct. When you accept a religion, you take it on FAITH, not fact or logic. Therefore you should accept the fact that other people are doing the same thing with a different set of beliefs. So let them have their beliefs, you can't prove them wrong.

I'm not saying to do that though. It is reasonable to not want to marry someone with opposing beliefs. You may even want to change anothers beliefs. This can be wrong and can be right sometimes.

 

[SithDoughnut]

You're 16. Too young to think about any long term relationship plans just yet, unless you plan on getting married really early. The Bible suggests against it, but it doesn't outright call it a sin. Go with it, see what happens.

 

[sarahelizabeth]

we just learned about realtionships at my church not so long ago

your only 16 you shouldt be worried and worked up about teh next date or if he loves you or anyting a long those lines your 16 once you should enjoy life as it comes... if he isn't a Christin you seem like your wasting your time.