my boyfriend is not a Christian

[preciousHeart]

Hello!
Yes, you've read that right, my boyfriend is not a Christian- but I love him. We are comfortable with each other, and we've been together for 13months now. But as time pass, the more I am willing to dedicate myself to Jesus, the more I am interested to know new stuffs in the bible, and I am happy that finally my faith is growing. In almost everything in my life this guy is always the one I talk to, I've always been honest and sincere to him- but this time, all I want to talk about is the Bible, I see he is open-minded to what I am sharing to him- but he acts none like a Christian even after all. I feel wrong for the intimacy we have and I want him to understand... I want my only bestfriend and lover in this world to know Christ and follow him. How can I do that?

 

[religious&reasonable]

Bring him to your church every so often. try to talk about it to him. Eventually he may come around.

 

[DigiDigi]

Honey, don't push him to convert because if he doesn't want to have theistic beliefs then don't pressure him. He has every right to believe or not to believe in Trinitarian theology. If he is open-minded and listens to your ideas, then you should return the favor and listen to his ideas as well. Maybe even be open-minded like him and take all the good ideas he has to offer and apply them to your own life. Don't be scared to learn different ideas that your not exposed to, they won't affect your faith in one bit, they might even strengthen it. if you really love him, then you wouldn't be concerned over something so trivial as religion.

 

[itisdeliciouscake]

I say this with all sympathy and am not trying to be a snob or anything, but honestly because I think you will be best off, but I think you should break up with him.

The reasons you have given are all of the reasons why believers should not date unbelievers. Ultimately our relationship with God is by-far the most important relationship we will ever have. I've had friends who are girls who have gone through this, and they have all made the hard decision to break up with their unbelieving boyfriend. They would all agree that it was the right choice.

Even more important in a relationship the guy should be the spiritual leader. That obviously can't be the case if the guy in a relationship is an unbeliever.

Hopefully this video will help (I love this guy)
YouTube - Is it a sin to date a non-Christian?

This isn't to say that you can't be friends or anything, but a dating relationship is just such a close relationship that it really is something avoiding with unbelievers. Be friends with him, share the Gospel, and pray for him, but I think dating is just not a good idea. I'm only telling you that I think you should break up because in the long run I think it will save you from a world of pain. I also think that you're missing out on dating a great Christian guy who will share your love for God.

 

[itisdeliciouscake]

also, this video may also be helpful (and the sound is MUCH better)

YouTube - Q&A: Dating a non-Christian? Tim Keller

 

[DigiDigi]

I say this with all sympathy and am not trying to be a snob or anything, but honestly because I think you will be best off, but I think you should break up with him.

The reasons you have given are all of the reasons why believers should not date unbelievers. Ultimately our relationship with God is by-far the most important relationship we will ever have. I've had friends who are girls who have gone through this, and they have all made the hard decision to break up with their unbelieving boyfriend. They would all agree that it was the right choice.

Even more important in a relationship the guy should be the spiritual leader. That obviously can't be the case if the guy in a relationship is an unbeliever.

Hopefully this video will help (I love this guy)
YouTube - Is it a sin to date a non-Christian?

This isn't to say that you can't be friends or anything, but a dating relationship is just such a close relationship that it really is something avoiding with unbelievers. Be friends with him, share the Gospel, and pray for him, but I think dating is just not a good idea. I'm only telling you that I think you should break up because in the long run I think it will save you from a world of pain. I also think that you're missing out on dating a great Christian guy who will share your love for God.

So your advising her to break up with her potential soul mate because he doesn't hold the same ideology as she does? That's a little extreme to do if your in love. If your in love it is your duty to cherish and protect the relationship you have with all of your strength. What you advise is really prejudice and unreasonable and I advise OP to keep her relationship. 13 months is a stepping stone for a good relationship. I say this because out of all the relationships I had I can only keep my man/woman for at least 3 months due to unreasonable/illogical immature reasons the person broke up with me. If you truly do love this man, if you really feel a good connection with him, then do not throw away an opportunity of a life time.

As for the concept of heaven, you do not have absolute knowledge that if heaven is a literal dimension so why risk throwing away somebody who cares for you and will return your kindness? Love is beautiful no matter what the case is and don't forget that.

Please don't feel pressured here, it is your choice to keep your lover or to break up with him. It's your relationship and not ours. We offer advise simply and give you reason to do either option. I personally would love to be in your position and I, again, advise you keep your relationship.

 

[Mr.Williamson]

Unless your working on his salvation, I highly suggest that you don't get to attached to this man.

 

[DigiDigi]

Unless your working on his salvation, I highly suggest that you don't get to attached to this man.

Oh, but she is attached to him already.

 

[Sarahfina]

I think that God may have a plan for both you and your boyfriend (perhaps he'll find God later in life). I can't honestly say whether or not you two will always be together in this plan, but it's wonderful that he's at least open-minded. What I've noticed when I've tried to expose some of my non-christian friends to church immediately is that they tend to shy away or not embrace the experience. If you want him to get to know God like you do, perhaps you could suggest that he attend a church sponsored event or something with you that is more open and social (baby steps) so that he can warm up to seeking God or going to church with you on his own. You could also maybe show him a few books or movies or things of that nature that demonstrate your love of God without being too preachy. Good luck! I hope all goes well for you.

 

[religious&reasonable]

Oh, but she is attached to him already.

You might've missed this, but his avatar is a picture of Clint Eastwood, and in case you didn't know, that makes any arguement you make to oppose what he says instantly invalid. It's a fact.

 

[solarwave]

Getting him to come to church would be a great start. Also there being someone you or he can ask about the hard questions, someone who really knows what they are talking about and has a strong faith, could be helpful. Maybe talking to him about your experiences of God.

 

[preciousHeart]

i'm having a great debate with myself as for now either though I got really nice ideas absorbed from all of you. i will weight these. i really thank you guys for the quick replies. If you'll ask me if I really love him, I really do. If you'll ask me what I think of our relationship, all I wish for is that this could be my soulmate. But if you'll ask me if I'm willing to let God decide.. then I definitely will! I just hope I know what he thinks right now... any more ideas? biblical maybe? or the ones with a pure solid relationship to him? How does he think?

GOD BLESS YOU All! This really means alot.

 

[Matariki]

Is there anything wrong with the friend zone?

Yes, you can love your non Christian friends but don't date them. You can't force anyone to be a Christian, espeically not by dating them. Its a recipe for disaster and to be blunt, at your young age you don't have the maturity yet for a serious, spiritual commitment. Biblical dating is about finding your potential soul mate. Are you really ready to help care and look after another individual, possibly for the rest of your life? Focus on building and growing a realtionship with Christ first. Pray and ask him if your current realtionship with your boyfriend is what he really wants for you. Also watch this, this man knows his stuff;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AP6cc2aBecE

 

[solarwave]

i'm having a great debate with myself as for now either though I got really nice ideas absorbed from all of you. i will weight these. i really thank you guys for the quick replies. If you'll ask me if I really love him, I really do. If you'll ask me what I think of our relationship, all I wish for is that this could be my soulmate. But if you'll ask me if I'm willing to let God decide.. then I definitely will! I just hope I know what he thinks right now... any more ideas? biblical maybe? or the ones with a pure solid relationship to him? How does he think?

GOD BLESS YOU All! This really means alot.

When my parents married my Dad wasn't a Christian and my Mum was. When I was born my Dad became a Christian. I'm not saying that this is normally what happens (for some people it is the opposite), I'm just saying it can work out.

 

[Snow Phoenix]

i'm having a great debate with myself as for now either though I got really nice ideas absorbed from all of you. i will weight these. i really thank you guys for the quick replies. If you'll ask me if I really love him, I really do. If you'll ask me what I think of our relationship, all I wish for is that this could be my soulmate. But if you'll ask me if I'm willing to let God decide.. then I definitely will! I just hope I know what he thinks right now... any more ideas? biblical maybe? or the ones with a pure solid relationship to him? How does he think?

GOD BLESS YOU All! This really means alot.

Well, you haven't told us exactly what he believes, but I'll take the safe assumption that him being a non-Christian means he's probably an implicit atheist.

If you're really in love with him, you should take some time with him and have a serious discussion with him about what you both believe, and why you believe those things.

Point him to some books on Christian theology (not just the Bible), and if he's a reader, read whatever he suggests to you. The more you both know about each other's positions, the better off you guys will be in deciding where to go from here.

 

[Scientastic]

I am speaking from the perspective of an atheist in hopes that I can help you out on this one.

I dated a girl who was a Christian a few months back. We generally accepted the fact that we differed in beliefs. It was nice for awhile, except when she started introducing religion into the equation.

For some reason she thought it was okay to invite me to church; but if I even mentioned something like Nietzsche, she would be infuriated. Whenever I was dragged along to church I felt extremely uncomfortable, I hated every second of being there. Why? Because I am an atheist, not a blank slate. The more you throw your beliefs into this, the more it's going to hurt. This has to be a balanced issue. You MUST accept his beliefs, but you don't have to give up your own.

Where did the relationship end up? I destroyed every single belief she ever held dear, and I had no intention of doing so. We later broke up. She is now an agnostic.

Trust me on this one. If you love this guy, then you will let him make the decision on his own. It is not your choice to influence the religious beliefs of others, that is a choice that they must make for themselves. If you push this on him it will be thrown back at you, and it's going to hurt.

 

[Mela Monkey]

Pray that whatever God wants to happen will happen, and that you will be accepting of whatever happens

 

[ks777]

Where did the relationship end up? I destroyed every single belief she ever held dear, and I had no intention of doing so. We later broke up. She is now an agnostic.

I'm glad that wasn't your intentions, but I'm curious, what kind of things did you present to her which resulted in her changed mind?

 

[DreamEater]

I'm glad that wasn't your intentions, but I'm curious, what kind of things did you present to her which resulted in her changed mind?

Honestly Bro I don't think you want to go there because this topic will get blown up and hijacked.

EDIT: Sorry I forgot to reply to the OP, but babe I agree with Scientastic you have to leave this issue alone with him. You are 16 years old and this isnt the type of issue you want to be pushing with him right now, you are young, have a great relationship with the guy so go out and have fun enjoy the time you have with him right now without worrying about what he believes in. Give your time a couple more YEARS NOT MONTHS before you start talking about serious topics. Religion and politics are two things that should rarely be discussed among friends/couples unless you know you have the same beliefs because it will probably tear you apart.

 

[Zipi]

I dont think that you should make him a christain, he is an atheist for a reason. So just accept it and love him for who he is and not what he beileves.