My best friend

[Truffles]

Hello... this seems to be the only place where I'm allowed to post.

I'm looking for advice about my friend and I. We've been friends since we were 11 and now we're 18. We have a lot of similarities... sometimes it seems like we could be twins... but over the past few years, HUGE changes have gradually occured and now... I find myself... hating her. I still like to spend time with her and we have an almost identical sense of humor... but anything that's below surface level, we're complete and utter opposites. We did an online quiz together and today, which political group do you belong in... I couldn't believe some of the things she "strongly agreed" with. Well, that's not true. I could completely believe it and expected it from her, but I just... I don't know. She's so militant... her views of fellow human beings and society are almost like some kind of animal or robot speaking... something that assesses what's valuable and what's not based on who's going to survive longer and who's going to make the most profit. I hate to say these things about her but I have no clue what to do about it. I want to scream at her and shake her and tell her that she's ignorant and immature and rotten and pathetic and disgusting, but I couldn't... I shouldn't... God doesn't feel the way I feel towards her, I don't have a right to say antyhing bad to ehr or even ABOUT her but I'm just so frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I hate her so much that I could slap her... it's getting so bad that ridiculous things are making me feel hatred... even things like the way she eats PIZZA... I can't believe I'm saying something so petty but instead of just ordering a cheese pizza, she'll order cheese and pepperoni and pick all the meat off and throw it in the bin just because she likes the "aftertaste" of the meat on the pizza, and wastes the animal. : )) Everything she does is seriously starting to drive me insane and I feel like STRANGLING her... it doesn't seem like she's ever going to have compassion for anyone or care for God & about her spirituality in the slightest. What do I do? I can't STOP being her friend, I don't even want to... I just wish I didn't feel this way. We both agree that we feel like twins but I think we're becoming a mirror image... complete opposites... I hate to see this happening, what should I do? It feels like there's a war between us brewing below the surface all the time. We know eachothers weaknesses because we have the SAME weaknesses and the same strengths... so when we fight it's just... we just fight and fight. I feel so frustrated.

 

[Fares]

Be the leader in your relationship , be patient. Back off on some points, that does not mean you are weak, but strong, it means you care about the person in front of you .
Jesus, son of God, constantly forgive us for our sins,
so i think you can follow the foot steps of Our Lord and forgive her for her ignorancy !

 

[PapaLandShark]

Hello... this seems to be the only place where I'm allowed to post.

I'm looking for advice about my friend and I. We've been friends since we were 11 and now we're 18. We have a lot of similarities... sometimes it seems like we could be twins... but over the past few years, HUGE changes have gradually occured and now... I find myself... hating her. I still like to spend time with her and we have an almost identical sense of humor... but anything that's below surface level, we're complete and utter opposites. We did an online quiz together and today, which political group do you belong in... I couldn't believe some of the things she "strongly agreed" with. Well, that's not true. I could completely believe it and expected it from her, but I just... I don't know. She's so militant... her views of fellow human beings and society are almost like some kind of animal or robot speaking... something that assesses what's valuable and what's not based on who's going to survive longer and who's going to make the most profit. I hate to say these things about her but I have no clue what to do about it. I want to scream at her and shake her and tell her that she's ignorant and immature and rotten and pathetic and disgusting, but I couldn't... I shouldn't... God doesn't feel the way I feel towards her, I don't have a right to say antyhing bad to ehr or even ABOUT her but I'm just so frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I hate her so much that I could slap her... it's getting so bad that ridiculous things are making me feel hatred... even things like the way she eats PIZZA... I can't believe I'm saying something so petty but instead of just ordering a cheese pizza, she'll order cheese and pepperoni and pick all the meat off and throw it in the bin just because she likes the "aftertaste" of the meat on the pizza, and wastes the animal. : )) Everything she does is seriously starting to drive me insane and I feel like STRANGLING her... it doesn't seem like she's ever going to have compassion for anyone or care for God & about her spirituality in the slightest. What do I do? I can't STOP being her friend, I don't even want to... I just wish I didn't feel this way. We both agree that we feel like twins but I think we're becoming a mirror image... complete opposites... I hate to see this happening, what should I do? It feels like there's a war between us brewing below the surface all the time. We know eachothers weaknesses because we have the SAME weaknesses and the same strengths... so when we fight it's just... we just fight and fight. I feel so frustrated.

Believe it or not this is quite common so relax. Friends who have been around each other for a long time often reach points where they have to take a break from each other, even if it's just a week, and go out and do other stuff. Otherwise you get to the point where even the way the other person drinks a glass of water will drive you nutty.

I have several friends like this. We've reached points in our lives where we are climbing the walls around each other. In each case we were honest and loving enough to be able to say "Hey...you know you are incredibly important to me but I need a break before I take a whiffle bat to your noggin. Go catch some movies. Hang out with some other people for a while. I'll do the same. Then we can get back together in a week or two and compare notes."

It works.

 

[PapaLandShark]

Oh...and welcome to CF Truffles!

 

[dvd_holc]

Welcome to CF. Just because you can make it fit does not mean it goes there. You have some anger issues with her. Seem to feel very betrayed, but she has developed her way. It is not you. Now, it does not mean you hate her. Instead, you continue to love her. In the end, Love has the last word. The anger will only make you bitter toward her which will make you destroy what you have. What you have is important. It is love. She has not slapped you in the face be going her way. Don't treat her that way. What matters the most is love.

 

[Stinker]

Welcome aboard Truffles!

People change like crazy in those years!

You need to try to widen your friendship circle.

Hey, this too, if you asked others that know you they may even say that you probably have changed a lot too in those years! You will change even more in the years to come.

 

[£amb]

Welcome to CF...

You may need to back up and take a break from her. I don't mean abandon her, but just take a break. I had a friend that I loved to death, but if I was around her too much...little things would annoy me. It may give you time to think things through.

 

[Deb7777]

Hello... this seems to be the only place where I'm allowed to post.

I'm looking for advice about my friend and I. We've been friends since we were 11 and now we're 18. We have a lot of similarities... sometimes it seems like we could be twins... but over the past few years, HUGE changes have gradually occured and now... I find myself... hating her. I still like to spend time with her and we have an almost identical sense of humor... but anything that's below surface level, we're complete and utter opposites. We did an online quiz together and today, which political group do you belong in... I couldn't believe some of the things she "strongly agreed" with. Well, that's not true. I could completely believe it and expected it from her, but I just... I don't know. She's so militant... her views of fellow human beings and society are almost like some kind of animal or robot speaking... something that assesses what's valuable and what's not based on who's going to survive longer and who's going to make the most profit. I hate to say these things about her but I have no clue what to do about it. I want to scream at her and shake her and tell her that she's ignorant and immature and rotten and pathetic and disgusting, but I couldn't... I shouldn't... God doesn't feel the way I feel towards her, I don't have a right to say antyhing bad to ehr or even ABOUT her but I'm just so frustrated. Sometimes I feel like I hate her so much that I could slap her... it's getting so bad that ridiculous things are making me feel hatred... even things like the way she eats PIZZA... I can't believe I'm saying something so petty but instead of just ordering a cheese pizza, she'll order cheese and pepperoni and pick all the meat off and throw it in the bin just because she likes the "aftertaste" of the meat on the pizza, and wastes the animal. : )) Everything she does is seriously starting to drive me insane and I feel like STRANGLING her... it doesn't seem like she's ever going to have compassion for anyone or care for God & about her spirituality in the slightest. What do I do? I can't STOP being her friend, I don't even want to... I just wish I didn't feel this way. We both agree that we feel like twins but I think we're becoming a mirror image... complete opposites... I hate to see this happening, what should I do? It feels like there's a war between us brewing below the surface all the time. We know eachothers weaknesses because we have the SAME weaknesses and the same strengths... so when we fight it's just... we just fight and fight. I feel so frustrated.

Hi Truffles, welcome, the best thing you can do is pray for your friend, for your friendship and try to be Jesus to her. This is a great opportunity for you to grow as a Christian and practice what you have heard the Lord preach to us in the gospels, God bless. It might take awhile but don't get discourage, you might have more defeats than victories but its good to get started and see how the Lord wants you to treat your friend, tell him everything and pray always. Forgive me to persume you are a Christian, for some reason I thought you were, if not ,still act like a Christian, God bless again.

 

[ConfusedChristianGirl77]

Okay, first off, you need to go and pray! Your nerves are so on end your not even thinking straight! You want to tell her about faith in God, but your faith is deffinantly being tried. Do you realize your feelings and thoughts are sins?! Good grief! Just ignore the way she eats pizza for a second okay?

This friend of yours...has she ever been a Christian?

What you need to do is calm down and pray first. Be sure what you tell her is going to be The Word and not anything other then The Word, don't let things 'slip' because your mad okay? And then sit her down and tell her The Word. Don't force it down her throat, she's going to have to accept it with an open heart and mind by CHOICE and not FORCE!!! If she doesn't you can't do anything more. Thats just that. You tried. And you really need to pray to God and ask him to take your burdens and let him carry your worries. You need to trust in Him enough that you can lay these terrible feelings aside and join hands with Him again.

Love and God Bless,
Rachel

 

[ConfusedChristianGirl77]

Just remember you have friends here too!

 

[talitha]

Truffles,

If you are a Christian, you need to go into your profile and indicate that in order to be able to post in the "Christians only" forums.

blessings in Him
tal