My christian friend has a flippant way of looking at (baby loss) *** Abortion ment*

[Hannah66]

I have a christian friend who has a casual way of looking at baby loss.

When I experienced a miscarriage 25 years ago, she said she knew how I felt as she had had an abortion when she was young.

I failed to see how the two were similar.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, her and her husband have paid for their grown daughter to have an abortion twice.

And just recently, that same daughter experienced a miscarriage.

My friend said to me, "I would go vist her but she's just all whiney about the baby loss and I can't handle that at the moment"
She really failed to see how losing a baby could bring so much pain.

I'm totally confused by her attitude.

I've never said anything about the 'abortions". but I did say that her daughter would be needing her love,support and prayers right about now as she has lost a baby.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

It's not you .. I also would be confused. It could be that the abortion your friend had when she was young was kind-of numbed / emotionally ignored leading to an artificially enforced locking out of any emotions regarding baby-loss whether born/unborn. Certainly it sounds very unhealthy; maybe it has lead to loss of empathy and a numbed emotional life in general? Hope you can still be a blessing to her.

 

[Mark Quayle]

I have a christian friend who has a casual way of looking at baby loss.

When I experienced a miscarriage 25 years ago, she said she knew how I felt as she had had an abortion when she was young.

I failed to see how the two were similar.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, her and her husband have paid for their grown daughter to have an abortion twice.

And just recently, that same daughter experienced a miscarriage.

My friend said to me, "I would go vist her but she's just all whiney about the baby loss and I can't handle that at the moment"
She really failed to see how losing a baby could bring so much pain.

I'm totally confused by her attitude.

I've never said anything about the 'abortions". but I did say that her daughter would be needing her love,support and prayers right about now as she has lost a baby.

Sounds very self-centered on her part, a bit of a narcissistic worldview, like life is all about her. I'd hesitate to guess why she is that way, but her inability to empathize (except when she suddenly does) seems to me to show a habit of compartmentalizing, turning this way and that to shrug off feelings she can't handle, (or chooses not to handle).

But a lot of people —good people, dedicated believers, even— are that way. Elijah thought he was the only one. A LOT of preachers think the world can't get along without their wisdom or their explanations of theology or their urgency of expression. One I know thinks that his children's rebellion is either all his fault, or not his fault at all.

But, it may be helpful to you to understand that abortion very definitely does kill something in the heart, maybe "hardening" it, as the Bible puts it, within the perpetrator. And I don't think she is entirely unaware that such a thing has happened to her, but only doesn't want to know or see it.

 

[mourningdove~]

But, it may be helpful to you to understand that abortion very definitely does kill something in the heart, maybe "hardening" it, as the Bible puts it, within the perpetrator.

QFT.

 

[St_Worm2]

QFT.

Quantum Field Theory?

 

[mourningdove~]

Quantum Field Theory?

How bout we try "Quoted For Truth"

 

[St_Worm2]

How bout we try "Quoted For Truth"

Wait, this thread isn't about QM (quantum mechanics)?

Silliness aside, I agree with what you QFT above

Blessings to you in Christ!

--David

 

[Mark Quayle]

Wait, this thread isn't about QM (quantum mechanics)?

Hate it when that happens. I spend a half hour writing a clever piece of work, and post it to the wrong forum, off topic, and everyone who reads it goes, "HUH?" Guess I got on the wrong bus.

I heard that a lady once going to Spain ended up in Romania by mistake where she lived out the remainder of her days. I once opened the wrong door in a hospital. It was not pretty.

 

[BobRyan]

I have a christian friend who has a casual way of looking at baby loss.

When I experienced a miscarriage 25 years ago, she said she knew how I felt as she had had an abortion when she was young.

I failed to see how the two were similar.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, her and her husband have paid for their grown daughter to have an abortion twice.

It seems that she in fact does not even begin to comprehend your loss, your appreciation for human life, love for a baby.

I am truly sorry to hear that.

And just recently, that same daughter experienced a miscarriage.

My friend said to me, "I would go vist her but she's just all whiney about the baby loss and I can't handle that at the moment"

very sad.

In Matt 7 we see this "by their fruits you shall know them". We also see "not everyone who SAYS 'Lord Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven" - the teaching of Christ is that "God IS LOVE" it does not say "God is cold callous disregard for human life".

Not everyone who enters a church or is listed as a church member - is a Christian. I am sad to say.

 

[com7fy8]

I have a christian friend who has a casual way of looking at baby loss.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15)

But "fear of death" (see Hebrews 2:14-15) can have people suffering much more than they should, when babies or older people die. But we should not be casual about dying, I would say.

We can mourn that someone has died, but rejoice that the person is with Jesus if the person is.

When I experienced a miscarriage 25 years ago, she said she knew how I felt as she had had an abortion when she was young.

And you say you fail to see the similarity. I offer that I get what you are saying. But possibly you can ask her how she sees the two to be similar. And then you might be able to discuss that.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, her and her husband have paid for their grown daughter to have an abortion twice.

And just recently, that same daughter experienced a miscarriage.

Ones say abortions can damage a person so miscarriage is more likely.

My friend said to me, "I would go vist her but she's just all whiney about the baby loss and I can't handle that at the moment"
She really failed to see how losing a baby could bring so much pain.

I'm totally confused by her attitude.

If she is ok with abortion, she has character making her ok with that. And that character can work in her in other ways.

She seems to need how God can change her character so she cares about the unborn and cares about people who have lost unborn children.

Abortion is not only a moral issue of being murder or not. But we need to love the unborn and be brought up to cherish caring for an unborn baby . . . not only morally caring about "life", but dearly loving the unborn child. This takes upbringing and character of love.

I've never said anything about the 'abortions". but I did say that her daughter would be needing her love,support and prayers right about now as she has lost a baby.

Amen. I would say this is good.

I have understood that Jesus means for us to not fear death; and because of this I do not suffer much when ones close to me die. And Jesus says >

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

To me, this means not to make idols of certain people, loving them more than others only because they are closer to me so I can possess them and use them. And so, when ones close to me die, I am ready to not suffer so much. But do feel for others who do deeply suffer.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

I have a christian friend who has a casual way of looking at baby loss.

When I experienced a miscarriage 25 years ago, she said she knew how I felt as she had had an abortion when she was young.

I failed to see how the two were similar.

Anyway, fast forward to the present, her and her husband have paid for their grown daughter to have an abortion twice.

And just recently, that same daughter experienced a miscarriage.

My friend said to me, "I would go vist her but she's just all whiney about the baby loss and I can't handle that at the moment"
She really failed to see how losing a baby could bring so much pain.

I'm totally confused by her attitude.

I've never said anything about the 'abortions". but I did say that her daughter would be needing her love,support and prayers right about now as she has lost a baby.

I’m not surprised to hear a Christian has a flippant attitude towards abortion. I suppose I would expect it.

Most Christian teaching I’ve heard about abortion is purely negative. “Don’t do it. You’re evil, it’s evil, you’re a murderer. It’s murder“

I wouldn’t expect a high level of morality from purely negative “thou shalt not” teaching.

If I want people to take it seriously, then I talk about the positive.

I’ve had people refer to the subject as nazi vs martyr hero. Guess who the nazi was and guess who the hero is??!!?? So abortion came across as a little vanity project where a Christian got to be a hero.

Cut / pasting bible quotes is also a little bit uninspiring as well. I intuitively skip those posts as not worth reading.

Inspire people into a high form of life with god. The supreme joy of holding your boy, who trusts you entirely and completely with all his heart. He smiles and laughs at you. Calls out to you in the night to help with nappy change, feed or needs a warm up. Give people a reason. Inspire them.

 

[timf]

1Ti 4:2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

Your friend may not even be Chrisyian

2Ti 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Her selfish indifference to her own daughter indicates a level of selfishness that makes it hard to see anything of Christ in her.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

1Ti 4:2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

Your friend may not even be Chrisyian

2Ti 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

Her selfish indifference to her own daughter indicates a level of selfishness that makes it hard to see anything of Christ in her.

What do you think a Christian should do with her?? How respond??

 

[timf]

Pray for her
You might even inquire, if she is a professing Christian, what it is that makes her a Christian. Some think it was being baptized as a baby, or other work. Many do not appreciate that faith is trusting. It is very hard to tell the difference between an unbeliever and a carnal (fleshly) Christian.

Some get angry if you are seen to question their faith. Only you can guess as to the right approach, if any. Even if you are rebuffed and your friendship ended, at least you will have tried to help. However, at some point we are each responsible for how we live the Christian live. Some go dormant and never grow or mature. Some are even mistaken about being Christian at all.

One cautious technique that might work is to say that you have been reading Ephesians chapter four and seeing where we are expected to grow in our faith towards Christ-likeness. If you express dissatisfaction with the progress you see yourself making, you might have an opening to ask her about her church and if she feels she is advancing as she should. Since none of us are becoming like Christ as we should, it may be a safe way to broach the subject.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

Pray for her
You might even inquire, if she is a professing Christian, what it is that makes her a Christian. Some think it was being baptized as a baby, or other work. Many do not appreciate that faith is trusting. It is very hard to tell the difference between an unbeliever and a carnal (fleshly) Christian.

Some get angry if you are seen to question their faith. Only you can guess as to the right approach, if any. Even if you are rebuffed and your friendship ended, at least you will have tried to help. However, at some point we are each responsible for how we live the Christian live. Some go dormant and never grow or mature. Some are even mistaken about being Christian at all.

One cautious technique that might work is to say that you have been reading Ephesians chapter four and seeing where we are expected to grow in our faith towards Christ-likeness. If you express dissatisfaction with the progress you see yourself making, you might have an opening to ask her about her church and if she feels she is advancing as she should. Since none of us are becoming like Christ as we should, it may be a safe way to broach the subject.

I (try to) demonstrate the thing I want others to do. That way at least if they didn’t know better, they do now. And really, lots of people honestly don’t know better. I try to reveal that to them.

 

[Confused-by-christianity]

Pray for her
You might even inquire, if she is a professing Christian, what it is that makes her a Christian. Some think it was being baptized as a baby, or other work. Many do not appreciate that faith is trusting. It is very hard to tell the difference between an unbeliever and a carnal (fleshly) Christian.

Some get angry if you are seen to question their faith. Only you can guess as to the right approach, if any. Even if you are rebuffed and your friendship ended, at least you will have tried to help. However, at some point we are each responsible for how we live the Christian live. Some go dormant and never grow or mature. Some are even mistaken about being Christian at all.

One cautious technique that might work is to say that you have been reading Ephesians chapter four and seeing where we are expected to grow in our faith towards Christ-likeness. If you express dissatisfaction with the progress you see yourself making, you might have an opening to ask her about her church and if she feels she is advancing as she should. Since none of us are becoming like Christ as we should, it may be a safe way to broach the subject.

I (try to) demonstrate the thing in other I want them to do. That way at least if they didn’t know better, they do now.