Most important factors in finding a woman to marry?

[ArmyMatt]

So, are you saying that a relationship can be good even though there isn’t a “spark?” I agree about different contexts.

sparks come and go. love is much deeper and greater.

 

[com7fy8]

What are the major non-negotiables that one should have in a wife from an Orthodox perspective?

If I may offer as a guest >

Something I have been thinking about recently is how Abigail stood up the David and put him in his place. And though she was a woman, he did not give her a lecture that a woman is not supposed to stand up to men. But he praised God for bringing her to stop him before he made a major error.

A thing, though, I notice, that helped her to succeed is she encouraged David to do what she knew he valued doing, in order to become a good king. He was wrong, yes, but he did want to be a good king; so she confronted how he was wrong, but also pointed his attention to how, really, he did desire to be as a king.

So, her confrontation worked because they had common values of God.

So > I would say, if you want a real woman, make sure you know what God has you value; and share in this with a lady who values the same, plus she stands up to you about how you are wrong . . . meaning wrong about what both of you have agreed needs to be enforced, that you know God values.

You have both agreed together on what you intend to enforce; so if she calls you out on how you fail to do this, you know she is right.

For example, God's word says to do everything "without" arguing > Philippians 2:13-16. So, if you both agree that arguing is against Jesus and you agree to stand against it, then if one of you starts to argue the other can say, no we must not do that and we agreed to this. And since you both are committed to this, you can do this.

In case you both are into arguing, then you have a little race to see who puts a stop to it first, by confronting it and being prayerful and kind and quiet . . . or whatever you agree to do. And you wait and pray until God has both of you being creative, instead.

 

[AMM]

I don't think an initial spark is necessary either -- when my parents went on their first date, my mom thought my dad was a jerk and didn't like him at all; the only reason they went on more dates is because when he called her later, she thought it was a different guy (with the same name) that she did like. Long story short, it's now 30 years later and they're still happily married.

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

I don't think an initial spark is necessary either -- when my parents went on their first date, my mom thought my dad was a jerk and didn't like him at all; the only reason they went on more dates is because when he called her later, she thought it was a different guy (with the same name) that she did like. Long story short, it's now 30 years later and they're still happily married.

Lol, what a great story! Thanks for sharing.

 

[AMM]

Lol, what a great story! Thanks for sharing.

it always gives us a good chuckle whenever the story of them comes up haha