More to Life?

[Angeleyes7715]

Seems like work is 90% of life. Even now that I'm laid off I spend all my time looking for work or working on ways to get a better job or make money. On days off my bf talks about work. When I meet people or when I go anywhere the conversation is usually about work. On days my bf has off or when I use to have days off the whole day was rushed because, "don't forget I work!" . These days people don't even have friends anymore they just talk to co-workers. And small talk is supposed to pass as conversations. I really hope I don't make it to retirement age because I'm sure there is absolutely nothing else I want out of life, nothing. If society is going to be this way forever what's the point.

I don't enjoy much of anything, nothing makes me happy. I try my best to love and care about my family and bf and even they feel pointless.

I don't want the American dream, don't want to get married anymore, don't want kids, to buy a house so I can spend all my time working to put stuff in it that I don't want anyway. Just to go to work and have petty conversations with people I don't care about or like about the weather. I am 100% sure that society is making me crazy and that I despise it.

Why are other people happy when I'm not? Why are other people okay with the simplicity of life working all the time and going home watching TV with family and doing it all over again for 60+ years and I on the other hand feel like that's a prison sentence.

 

[rockytopva]

I am there with you.

 

[Noxot]

I share a lot of what you feel. we humans are getting better at the co-operation that makes survival as creatures less tormenting but we tend to fall into the downfalls of the blessings we have.

but I know that I have to feel mercy for the worlds situation because I experience a partial spiritual death in myself and so know how being dead is like. I understand that the world should be about brotherly love but I see no grand vision nor feel deeply compelled to do something other than the basic things that I must do in order to keep going on. lately I have been thinking very positively of my own suicide but I know it could hurt other people who think this world is the main purpose of their existence.

we humans have simply not found better ways of being in the world. what we had in the recent past was a lot of working and striving to obtain food and protect ourselves from beast that are trying to do the same things as we are. being a creature is a burden but it holds hidden potential and divine mysteries that wish to reveal themselves in the limited containers of this in and of itself empty and meaningless existence.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

This is so me right now. I work 6 days straight with 1 off day... Sometimes I feel crazy for working 2 jobs ... Uhh.

Tommorow it all starts up again. Save me ! Lol

 

[Rescued One]

My husband's retirement became an absolutely wonderful time, but I wish he could have lived longer (without pain).

 

[RC1970]

Seems like work is 90% of life. Even now that I'm laid off I spend all my time looking for work or working on ways to get a better job or make money. On days off my bf talks about work. When I meet people or when I go anywhere the conversation is usually about work. On days my bf has off or when I use to have days off the whole day was rushed because, "don't forget I work!" . These days people don't even have friends anymore they just talk to co-workers. And small talk is supposed to pass as conversations. I really hope I don't make it to retirement age because I'm sure there is absolutely nothing else I want out of life, nothing. If society is going to be this way forever what's the point.

I don't enjoy much of anything, nothing makes me happy. I try my best to love and care about my family and bf and even they feel pointless.

I don't want the American dream, don't want to get married anymore, don't want kids, to buy a house so I can spend all my time working to put stuff in it that I don't want anyway. Just to go to work and have petty conversations with people I don't care about or like about the weather. I am 100% sure that society is making me crazy and that I despise it.

Why are other people happy when I'm not? Why are other people okay with the simplicity of life working all the time and going home watching TV with family and doing it all over again for 60+ years and I on the other hand feel like that's a prison sentence.

What you are experiencing is the "hedonistic paradox". You cannot find happiness by seeking it.

From a Christian perspective, the only way to be happy is to deny yourself and seek after God's righteousness.

 

[Rescued One]

God will bless everyone who trusts in Him.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Great words!

 

[Motherofkittens]

There is more to life! Unfortunately some societies, especially in "under developed countries" and the USA and S. Korea they are mostly in survive and/or superficially thrive mode and everything is centered on money and so naturally therefore also on work and careers.

There are countries (most of Europe and some other countries, to varying degrees) that are more based, or at least try to be, on love, family, friends, equality, passion, rights for all, deeper real connections, peace, genuine happiness, relaxation, having fun, joy, etc., and they try to help everyone achieve that instead of worrying about finding money for basic food, rent, medicine, education, etc., and they don't care or pressure anyone, at least try not to, to be superficially materialistic or just superficial in general. And of course there are people everywhere who believe in that too. They are just harder to find in some societies.

It is understandable for you to be depressed about the situation you and others are in. It is truly horrible indeed. But there are other paths in life. Don't give up! This isn't the only way.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[jovanovic]

I wish i could work. I have had severe BDD since i was 14.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

So then I guess I just wonder what people who feel like I do are supposed to do. It's not like life really gives people many reasonable options for ending suffering. Really doesn't seem to. People like me could find a billion hobbies or jobs and still feel like life is pointless and unnecessary. However, as a Christian I'm not supposed to feel that way although based on observation and experience it feels like a forced existence.

 

[Noxot]

such questions and answers certainly come down to the unique individual. today I read a book that gave me some hope and also some food for thought that will help with the wondering if life is worth it or not.

the book was so good that I decided to buy the kindle version. it only cost 2$. the name of the book is "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways To Keep The Little Things From Taking Over Your Life". maybe it could help you out a little bit. I noticed it did have several christian ideas from the bible but the way he explained things in the book is clarifying and it's just nice to get his perspective to refine, quarrel, or interact with my own perspectives.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Sounds like an interesting book, might check it out. I had another thought yesterday which kind of describes how I'm feeling about life in a better sense.

My bf and I were watching s movie called the cube. In the movie several people awoke placed in a box against their will that was like a maze with traps that would eliminate them in terrible painful ways if they didn't pick the right doors to get out. Ultimately one guy exclaims there is no way out.

That's how I feel. Put in an experiment by God against my will with no way out watching friends and family be eliminated because of bad choices or old age, until it's my turn.

 

[Bee_in_the_Light]

1) I think you are writing in the right forum section. You sound depressed. You can start with one simple fact: it is an illness, a disorder of your mind. There is nothing special about our minds getting ill - we live in an era, where our brains are overburdened by all the stimuli we get through around the clock - through email, through news on the internet, radio, tv, through social media... plus more and more of us are doing this on the job, too. It is simply too much for our brains to handle.

2) Not only that, but we are also overwhelmed by all the options for life we have available. Our parents got to choose between a few traditional choices for a profession, and after some hardship of studying and stuff, pretty much got a job for life. Their parents mostly got to do what all the generations before them had done for the past thousand years or so.

So, again, it is no wonder we get overburdened mentally - at times and for some, to the point where it becomes an illness: depression.

From there you can draw the conclusion: your brain is not working the way it should, and there is nothing out of ordinary about that. It means you are making constantly wrong conclusions and following wrong tracks with your mind. That's what the illness does.

3) The good news: it can be fixed. I don't know what your options are, but current best treatment for serious / chronic depression is a combination of medication and therapy. The purpose of therapy is to find answer to those questions you are asking. For me the hard part has been making my brain and heart agree with each other. The answers are simple, but when you are deep in the depression, it becomes very hard to see them as answers.

4) Ultimately you have to find the answers to your questions. You have to find the meaning for your life. Finding in this case means choosing. You need to choose what you want to be in life, and then have to commit yourself to that. If you make mistake, you can always change your mind. You can pray for guidance, but don't wait for a flash of light or a booming voice from the sky. For vast majority of us, it doesn't come like that.

After you have chosen, remember you are still depressed, and things are hard at first. But they will become easier, if you do right things and remember to be nice to yourself.

Didn't mean to sound so "official", just wanted to say there is a happy, meaningful and fulfilling life waiting you, too. But it is at the end of the road of recovery.

Over the past ten years, I have been diagnosed four times with medium or severe (non-psychotic) depression, latest of which (severe) was two months ago. Pretty heavy suicidal tendencies and what not. But finally I think I see the way out.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

1) I think you are writing in the right forum section. You sound depressed. You can start with one simple fact: it is an illness, a disorder of your mind. There is nothing special about our minds getting ill - we live in an era, where our brains are overburdened by all the stimuli we get through around the clock - through email, through news on the internet, radio, tv, through social media... plus more and more of us are doing this on the job, too. It is simply too much for our brains to handle.

2) Not only that, but we are also overwhelmed by all the options for life we have available. Our parents got to choose between a few traditional choices for a profession, and after some hardship of studying and stuff, pretty much got a job for life. Their parents mostly got to do what all the generations before them had done for the past thousand years or so.

So, again, it is no wonder we get overburdened mentally - at times and for some, to the point where it becomes an illness: depression.

From there you can draw the conclusion: your brain is not working the way it should, and there is nothing out of ordinary about that. It means you are making constantly wrong conclusions and following wrong tracks with your mind. That's what the illness does.

3) The good news: it can be fixed. I don't know what your options are, but current best treatment for serious / chronic depression is a combination of medication and therapy. The purpose of therapy is to find answer to those questions you are asking. For me the hard part has been making my brain and heart agree with each other. The answers are simple, but when you are deep in the depression, it becomes very hard to see them as answers.

4) Ultimately you have to find the answers to your questions. You have to find the meaning for your life. Finding in this case means choosing. You need to choose what you want to be in life, and then have to commit yourself to that. If you make mistake, you can always change your mind. You can pray for guidance, but don't wait for a flash of light or a booming voice from the sky. For vast majority of us, it doesn't come like that.

After you have chosen, remember you are still depressed, and things are hard at first. But they will become easier, if you do right things and remember to be nice to yourself.

Didn't mean to sound so "official", just wanted to say there is a happy, meaningful and fulfilling life waiting you, too. But it is at the end of the road of recovery.

Over the past ten years, I have been diagnosed four times with medium or severe (non-psychotic) depression, latest of which (severe) was two months ago. Pretty heavy suicidal tendencies and what not. But finally I think I see the way out.

I am very depressed, but I don't feel like depression distorts things, at least not for me. My grandma died, my aunt died, my mom is on antidepressants and antipsychotics and has basically given up on life cause she sleeps all day and night and gained a bunch of weight,my dad isn't in my life and doesn't really care cause he won't pick up the phone when I call, my boyfriend is depressed too and smokes or drinks to enjoy himself, i owe 26000 for a degree in a difficult subject that took me 5 years to earn and barely graduated when I became sick with an embarrassing health problem and that degree can't even get me a job that requires a college degree, instead of only get hired for call center jobs which are terrible places, so I have to spend any free time studying something else to try to make up for going to school like I was told to do. I am being sued 7000 for a car that got repoed after 3 days. I lost 2 cars in that deal cause my car was a trade in for the car that got repoed. Judge who heard my case didn't even have a legal background!
Aside from this I owe a ton of money to Drs for an unsolvable health problem that will never be fixed because it's probably a genetic issue.

Yeah I'm depressed. Taking drugs to pretend life isnt terrible and the world is fair doesn't change anything.

It's like the walking dead lol. They could take antidepressants and drink alcohol all they want but the whole world is still destroyed by zombies. Just another analogy.

At this point it seriously feels like I've been dealt with a terrible hand that just gets worse and told to be happy about it. I've begun to notice that people who aren't depressed have a few things I don't. Either lots of money, no debt, family, tons of close friends, or they are on drugs (prescription or non).

You know the world is a terrible place when half of its occupants have to be on drugs just to pretend it isn't....

 

[Bee_in_the_Light]

Well, it is no wonder you are depressed with all those things in your life. Makes all my problems seem very light in comparison... but then again, comparing to others is one thing we shouldn't be doing. We have the bad cards (you way worse than mine), they have the good, like you said. But life isn't fair, and never will be, drugs or no drugs.

So those two things we can't change: what cards we were dealt, and what has happened in the past. Future is the one we can try to change.

I have had good discussions with our psychologist at work, and probably the best thing she has made me understand is, that there really aren't many things that we "have to" do. She has made me notice, how often I say I "have to" do or be something, always catching me there and saying "no, you don't have to".

You were originally asking, if there is anything else to life, than work. There can be a lot, and work itself should be meaningful, too. Not for everyone, but for most of us. The way depression distorts my thinking, is it narrows down the scope of things that seem possible. Eventually there is energy only to think of the "final exit" solution. That's why I'm very thankful for the medication, it takes that pressing anxiety off of my chest and lets me recover. They don't solve the underlying problems, and are not meant to.

That's where therapy has been good for me so far: we have been sorting out all the things that might have caused the massive amount of constant pressure I have felt over the years. What has been real, what has been just my personality making huge issues out of no-big-deals, and what can I do about it.

Not going to be easy, not going to be fast, but there IS hope. After all.

The not easy part includes (for me) things like figuring out, whether I can continue with my wife, whether I should get another education, move to another location and so forth. But finally, I realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and it is not a train).

In the Walking Dead, there are two kinds of people: those who blow themselves up or shoot themselves in the head, because they can't figure out a reason to continue. Can't blame them. Then there are people like Maggie and Glenn, who find out a reason to go on, even though the world is bad (maybe I can use that word lol). Of course it will never get better for them, because nobody would watch a show called "The Rebuild".

And we are currently watching TWD Season 6 with my wife, so no spoilers please.

 

[Jeshu]

Seems like work is 90% of life. Even now that I'm laid off I spend all my time looking for work or working on ways to get a better job or make money. On days off my bf talks about work. When I meet people or when I go anywhere the conversation is usually about work. On days my bf has off or when I use to have days off the whole day was rushed because, "don't forget I work!" . These days people don't even have friends anymore they just talk to co-workers. And small talk is supposed to pass as conversations. I really hope I don't make it to retirement age because I'm sure there is absolutely nothing else I want out of life, nothing. If society is going to be this way forever what's the point.

I don't enjoy much of anything, nothing makes me happy. I try my best to love and care about my family and bf and even they feel pointless.

I don't want the American dream, don't want to get married anymore, don't want kids, to buy a house so I can spend all my time working to put stuff in it that I don't want anyway. Just to go to work and have petty conversations with people I don't care about or like about the weather. I am 100% sure that society is making me crazy and that I despise it.

Why are other people happy when I'm not? Why are other people okay with the simplicity of life working all the time and going home watching TV with family and doing it all over again for 60+ years and I on the other hand feel like that's a prison sentence.

Most people are too blind to see what you see, and many of those who do despair, but in and with Christ we can make something beautiful out of our lives down here nevertheless.

It least you should not find it hard not to be worldly. For all the goodies you reject have been numbered to perish any way. A lot of people i know spend all their time gathering expensive junk with their right hand and use their brains to get as much as possible - but those sixes means you will miss out on Christ's flybys altogether.

Love traveling life with Jesus through this dark world on the brink of spiraling collapse.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Most people are too blind to see what you see, and many of those who do despair, but in and with Christ we can make something beautiful out of our lives down here nevertheless.

It least you should not find it hard not to be worldly. For all the goodies you reject have been numbered to perish any way. A lot of people i know spend all their time gathering expensive junk with their right hand and use their brains to get as much as possible - but those sixes means you will miss out on Christ's flybys altogether.

Love traveling life with Jesus through this dark world on the brink of spiraling collapse.

So I've been blaming corporations for everything when it's really the banks wow. This is, wow. I didn't completely understand, but now I do. The system, this system that people are constantly telling me I am depressed for not seeing how lucky and etc. this is just life... This system is evil and crooked and designed to rob people in the first place like I figured to begin with yet, people try to persuade ppl like me who can't be happy as a paid slave that we are depressed because we don't like that society and the world is evil.

Why can't society just admit that it stinks instead of telling the people who point that out there's something wrong with them.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Well, it is no wonder you are depressed with all those things in your life. Makes all my problems seem very light in comparison... but then again, comparing to others is one thing we shouldn't be doing. We have the bad cards (you way worse than mine), they have the good, like you said. But life isn't fair, and never will be, drugs or no drugs.

So those two things we can't change: what cards we were dealt, and what has happened in the past. Future is the one we can try to change.

I have had good discussions with our psychologist at work, and probably the best thing she has made me understand is, that there really aren't many things that we "have to" do. She has made me notice, how often I say I "have to" do or be something, always catching me there and saying "no, you don't have to".

You were originally asking, if there is anything else to life, than work. There can be a lot, and work itself should be meaningful, too. Not for everyone, but for most of us. The way depression distorts my thinking, is it narrows down the scope of things that seem possible. Eventually there is energy only to think of the "final exit" solution. That's why I'm very thankful for the medication, it takes that pressing anxiety off of my chest and lets me recover. They don't solve the underlying problems, and are not meant to.

That's where therapy has been good for me so far: we have been sorting out all the things that might have caused the massive amount of constant pressure I have felt over the years. What has been real, what has been just my personality making huge issues out of no-big-deals, and what can I do about it.

Not going to be easy, not going to be fast, but there IS hope. After all.

The not easy part includes (for me) things like figuring out, whether I can continue with my wife, whether I should get another education, move to another location and so forth. But finally, I realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and it is not a train).

In the Walking Dead, there are two kinds of people: those who blow themselves up or shoot themselves in the head, because they can't figure out a reason to continue. Can't blame them. Then there are people like Maggie and Glenn, who find out a reason to go on, even though the world is bad (maybe I can use that word lol). Of course it will never get better for them, because nobody would watch a show called "The Rebuild".

And we are currently watching TWD Season 6 with my wife, so no spoilers please.

You guys are further than I am lol love that show though haha