Modesty in the home

[Fivesenses]

Can someone shine a bit of light on why people would argue that wives must be modest at home in front of her husband (in this case, the definition of modesty is in terms of attire and dress code)? Since nakedness is not a sin between spouses, and sexual intimacy is to be embraced, why would modesty be an issue between husband and wife?

 

[~Anastasia~]

Hello,

Does your question and the placement of it imply that someone is arguing that women must be modestly dressed in private with their husbands, as a matter of morality?

I can't imagine what that would be about. There's something to be said for certain kinds of modesty like closing the bathroom door when using the toilet, but that has more to do with dignity than nakedness, and it wouldn't be immoral to fail to do so - just might chip away at the romance a bit.

There's nothing immoral or unethical, IMO, about a wife not being modestly covered at all times in private with her husband. That's silly. Maybe they meant something else?

Or perhaps it's a cultural thing with some groups, but I'm not even aware of that.

Would result in a much slower-growing population, I suppose.

 

[Fivesenses]

Hmm I think it may come from the logic that exposure can cause husband to objectify or lust after his wife? (But that is based on the premise that lusting after wife is sin). Also it might cause distraction for the husband who might be doing something else important?

 

[~Anastasia~]

Hmm I think it may come from the logic that exposure can cause husband to objectify or lust after his wife? (But that is based on the premise that lusting after wife is sin). Also it might cause distraction for the husband who might be doing something else important?

Well objectifying the wife (or husband) is wrong, but that flows from the way one person thinks of others, not from a husband or wife seeing the other naked. My point is, it's a deeper problem. Either it's there or it's not, and seeing your spouse naked isn't going to be the original cause.

As to distraction, well, that's a case by case basis and either could distract the other in any number of ways.

What is important is that people respect one another as persons, and attend to what is important in life. And sometimes that is intimacy.

I don't know what they are thinking. But there are lots of misguided ideas out there. I wouldn't worry about it, myself.

 

[Sarah G]

Maybe in the sense of there being a time and a place for everything.

 

[SkyWriting]

Can someone shine a bit of light on why people would argue that wives must be modest at home in front of her husband (in this case, the definition of modesty is in terms of attire and dress code)? Since nakedness is not a sin between spouses, and sexual intimacy is to be embraced, why would modesty be an issue between husband and wife?

Every person is different. You might be more familiar
with the idea that couples have sex in the dark instead
of a brightly lit room. Same kind of thing.

 

[dayhiker]

In my mind the only reason some preacher would put this idea in anyone's mind is because they are ashamed of the body God created us with.

 

[WolfGate]

Who are these "people" you speak of?

 

[Fivesenses]

I talked about modesty with a friend before over lunch and they mentioned something like it's a good idea to do that at home too...and I was like...are you serious you mean between wife and husband?

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

The wisdom from above is pure, gentile, pure, holy, right, good , edifying, helpful, strengthening .... and in a Godly marriage also - right with God's Word....

but the passions of the flesh, like heathen gentiles married or not,
are to be crucified, not indulged,
controlled, not running rampant in a believer (not even a new believer).

BibleGateway - : passion

 

[~Anastasia~]

I talked about modesty with a friend before over lunch and they mentioned something like it's a good idea to do that at home too...and I was like...are you serious you mean between wife and husband?

I would ask them to clarify and make sure you understand?

And maybe some people DO think a husband shouldn't see his wife naked. I don't agree with that level of - concern - but then there are going to be folks out there I don't agree with.

At least you would have the answer to your question.

But I have to wonder what happens if one of them is injured or disabled and need help with bathing, toileting, dressing, and the like. Marriage through the years often gets to mean more than sexual desire.

 

[seeking.IAM]

...Also it might cause distraction for the husband who might be doing something else important?

I've been married 44 years. In 44 years I've never had anything so important to do that I wasn't willing to put it down for a wife dressed "immodestly." I'm just sayin'. Confession.

 

[SkyWriting]

In my mind the only reason some preacher would put this idea in anyone's mind is because they are ashamed of the body God created us with.

Like when Adam and Eve covered themselves.
I guess there is precedent.

 

[Vyrzaharak]

There's often a high chance of self-projection with stuff like this. Like some guy realized he couldn't control his sexual urges or desires, but rather than acknowledging it as his own problem to deal with he came to believe that everyone else must suddenly be guilty of it instead of himself.

 

[dayhiker]

Like when Adam and Eve covered themselves.
I guess there is precedent.

Why did Adam and Eve cover themselves? Since you believe Adam and Eve set a precedent we are to follow, do you think we should follow the entire historical precedent or just pick part of it to follow?

 

[SkyWriting]

Why did Adam and Eve cover themselves? Since you believe Adam and Eve set a precedent we are to follow, do you think we should follow the entire historical precedent or just pick part of it to follow?

I didn't suggest following them.

 

[dayhiker]

Looks like I didn't follow what you were saying, SkyWriting.

 

[SkyWriting]

Looks like I didn't follow what you were saying, SkyWriting.

Adam and Eve covered themselves becasue they were ashamed of their nakedness.
It was not due to anything said by a preacher.
Scholars say it was separation from God, or Sin, which causes people to be self-aware.

You know how people run into a building to save others lives and don't
even notice if they cut their hand? Do they stop and get a band-aid?

No. The are so focused on others their clothes might burn but they are unaware
of their own discomfort. Sin causes people to look in a mirror instead of at others.

 

[WolfGate]

I talked about modesty with a friend before over lunch and they mentioned something like it's a good idea to do that at home too...and I was like...are you serious you mean between wife and husband?

Thanks for letting us know that - helps to understand where your question came from.

I can see a few narrow cases where modesty in the home might be wise. For example, if a husband had a problem with objectifying women and that struggle was made larger by seeing women (including his wife) in sexy clothing then perhaps it would be beneficial for them to decide she would dress conservatively even at home. However, to say that type of modesty should be practiced in all marriages including those that do not have a problem like that is, I think, not needed and not directed by scripture.

 

[noam burde]

Can someone shine a bit of light on why people would argue that wives must be modest at home in front of her husband (in this case, the definition of modesty is in terms of attire and dress code)? Since nakedness is not a sin between spouses, and sexual intimacy is to be embraced, why would modesty be an issue between husband and wife?

your question answers itself. she doesn't need to.